Chapter 6

CHAPTER SIX

OWEN

My first thought when I woke up from my nap was it had been the best sleep I'd had in years. Second, the hand resting on my waist was created to be there. And, third, I'd well and truly messed up the charmed life I'd led. I'd managed to keep myself under wraps for so many years, and a freaking bear was the reason I'd come undone.

When I started exploring what being a little meant to me, I had the brilliant idea of exploring at a club. There might be a Daddy who could help me sink into that magical place. Uh, yeah, that ended up being a hard no. On my one and only trip to play at a kink club in college, I'd been mocked because I couldn't get any words out, and I'd never felt more useless.

Figuring out I was a little was stressful, but Daddies laughing at me over it was beyond anything I'd ever felt. It was abject humiliation. I was little little, like bottles and trouble speaking little, and apparently, that was much less appealing. On top of that, I wasn't particularly submissive outside of scenes. So yeah, little time for me was a solitary experience, no matter how much I wished for a Daddy .

If I maintained some adult awareness when I was little, it would be manageable. Unfortunately for me, being around other littles triggered me into regressing, and then being so little in public felt unsafe without a caretaker. But I wasn't willing to experience the humiliation of being laughed at by a Daddy again, so I wouldn't let anyone be my caretaker.

The helplessness and vulnerability meant I couldn't bring myself to play with others, even when I knew they were friends like Jakob and Rory or even Barrett. I knew deep down it didn't make sense, but I could never bring myself to move past it.

I used the social anxiety excuse with all of them. It covered enough area that I didn't feel like I was lying. Claiming to be introverted wasn't a complete fib, but I never explained the details of the anxiety.

Now, not a damn thing mattered because I was lying next to the man I'd wanted since the day we met and loved since the day after. His body radiated heat even through our clothes, and my back felt the flames of it. His hand on my hip burned his mark into my skin. I wanted to feel it forever, but the next best thing was to pretend to be asleep so I could soak in the warmth for a moment longer.

It occurred to me that Bear couldn't be upset if I was asleep and scooted back for more warmth. If I was sleeping, then it wasn't my fault. Boom. Done.

Each tiny movement was followed by a held breath, hoping and praying he wouldn't wake up until I was close enough to feel his enormous body against the planes of my back. After each adjustment, I double-checked his breathing to ensure it remained steady and deep.

"Babe, you're taking forever," Barrett's gravelly voice murmured directly into my ear.

With a yelp, I was hauled fully into his embrace. He tucked me under his chin, arranged my body to be mashed into his, and slipped his arm under my own and across my chest. The heat that had only been a tease was now direct contact. The best—potentially worst—part was the hard cock nestled directly in the curve of my ass.

Oh, sweet baby gays, this was the best wakeup I'd had in my entire life. Hands down, no comparison. Behind me, Barrett's hard cock twitched against me and grew more firm. My own dick was already rock hard in my slacks, and I reached down to grasp it. A squeeze through the fabric offered me some relief, but not enough. I was deciding what to do when I felt a pair of lips ghost across the nape of my neck. Christ on a cracker, I wanted this to last.

"Baby Boy, you're gonna make me come in my jeans like I'm back in high school," Bear growled, grinding his hips against my ass. My cock leaked in response. "Can I touch you?"

I gave an emphatic nod because if I actually spoke, it might end. Bear's giant hand made quick work of smoothing up from my hip and under my shirt to cross over my torso. I bit back a moan when his fingers found my nipples. His nimble fingers alternated between pinching them into hard points and smoothing over them with the pads of his fingers. My hips bucked in response.

Behind me, Bear sucked in a shaky breath before returning to my neck. His tongue traced a delicate path to my earlobe, which he pulled into his mouth with a gentle suck. My moans sounded loud in my ears. Bear's chuckle shook his whole chest.

"Baby, I need to taste you," Barrett said, turning me onto my back.

His mouth settled against mine and his tongue demanded entry. Each stroke dipped farther into the recess of my mouth and sent flames through my veins. His hand moved from my chest to cradle the back of my head. Our kiss turned frenzied as our tongues tangled with each other. At the scrape of his prickly skin against my chin, a realization hit me.

This was real. I was kissing Barrett.

And Barrett was kissing me back.

I wasn't sure exactly how this happened, but there was a damn good chance that once we got out of this bed, whatever magic spell had been cast over us would be gone. Our real lives would insert themselves once again.

When facing the bear, I'd told myself I didn't want to die a virgin. I'd already discovered what it was like to have a Daddy care for me. Now I could know what sex felt like. Hell yes, I was going to take the chance.

I promised myself we'd return to our best-friend status tomorrow. Today, I just needed Bear to fuck me. I may not have had an actual person in me, but I'd used plenty of toys. The fantasy that had followed me for years was finally close to coming true.

I finally broke away because my lungs burned from lack of air. My chest heaved and a shiver raced through me when I realized Bear was just as affected. His finger traced a path across my cheek and then my lips. He touched me like I was something precious to him. I might regret the aftermath, but I'd never be sorry that my first, maybe only, sexual experience would be with him.

"We don't have to do anything, baby."

Barrett's voice was soft. This place felt so far away from the outside world. It would be enough for me. It had to be enough for me.

"I want to, but, Bear, you have to promise me something." I pulled away just a little, even though my body screamed in protest of not feeling his weight grounding me. "You have to promise this won't change anything. You will still be my best friend. If this will ruin us, I will force myself out of this bed. I won't give you up."

"Listen to me. You will never lose me. I don't know exactly what we're doing, but it will be okay."

His words were punctuated with kisses across the bridge of my nose and my cheeks. His cock nudged against my thigh, and I squirmed involuntarily against him. His heavy breath soothed me. I might not have done this before, but Bear hadn't noticed yet. He captured my mouth with a soft kiss. His tongue slipped between my parted lips and explored all the secret places in my mouth.

I'd dreamed of this exact moment since we'd met, and the reality was so much better than I'd expected. My decision was the right one. He loved me. And I loved him in more ways than he reciprocated. I wasn't leaving this bed until my V-card had been obliterated.

"Don't you think you're wearing too many clothes?" I asked as I plucked at his shirt buttons in what I hoped was a gentle hint.

Barrett's smile against my mouth told me my attempt at subtlety was a failure.

"I'm not trying to rush you or anything, but yeah, if you'd like to get a move on, that'd be great, thanks."

As soon as the words were out of my mouth, the recriminations started. If I wanted to get fucked, I needed to shut the hell up.

"Is that so, little one?" he asked with a hint of a smile. "What is it you're in a hurry to have happen?" Barrett paused to nibble a line around my throat. The earlier shivers returned with a vengeance. "Do you want something in particular?"

His fingers traced the shell of my ear and down my throat. His hands smoothed my shirt before they found their way under it. When I felt his bare hands on my skin, I gasped from the shock. When his hands stopped exploring, I covered them with my own and urged him to continue.

His hard cock pressed against me and my mouth watered to taste him. I'd never done that either, but I'd watched a helluva lot of porn. With a push on his shoulder, I got him to change places with me. I kneeled between his splayed legs. Well, hell, I forgot to get him naked.

Awkward.

My eyes never left his as I leaned forward and unbuttoned his pants. The row of buttons gave a bit of a fight, but I managed to undo them. The backs of my fingers were pressed against the warm steel of his dick. Bear closed his eyes and moaned. It was the confidence boost I needed. It took a little more work, but I managed to free him from his pants and pull his dick out of his briefs.

He was beautiful. Veiny, but not too much. His head was shiny with beaded precum that threatened to leak down the shaft. His heavy balls were nestled in a patch of reddish-blond hair. His girth and length made me glad I'd been fucking myself with toys over the years that I'd guessed were approximately his size.

We both held our breath when I reached out to trace the vein along the underside of his dick. His cock jumped at my touch, which made Barrett half laugh, half groan. My fingers carefully circled him but only barely closed around him.

"You're so big," I said with wonder.

It hadn't quite sunk in that I was touching Barrett. The man I'd loved since I was nineteen. The man who made every other man pale in comparison. The man I'd saved myself for, even though he'd neither known nor asked me to.

My hands were the ones making his dick twitch and jump. When a drop of precum leaked down his shaft, I leaned forward again and licked it up with my tongue. It was salty and not my first choice for ice cream, but delicious in its own way.

I dipped the tip of my tongue in his slit to make sure I was right. I was. That first taste led me to the next one and then another. Bear's hand came to rest on my head, but he played with my hair while I explored his dick. It took me a minute, but I got brave and sucked his cockhead into my mouth. His moan seemed like a good sign.

"Baby, you good?" Barrett asked in a raspy voice.

All I could think was, I did that . I made this beautiful, sexy man sound wanton. If I answered him aloud, I worried my shaky voice would give away my inexperience. There was an extremely high probability that he'd stop if he knew how little practical experience I had doing all of this. The saying "fake it till you make it" was made for situations like this.

I only bobbed my head yes and continued my exploration. I kept going back for tastes and licks. I nuzzled my face into the wiry hair and sucked his balls while I was there. The scent was intoxicating, and I took deep breaths to etch the smell into my brain.

Barrett thrust up, and his cock rubbed against my stubbled cheek. With each contact, he groaned. This was a man who knew how to make me feel like a sex professional. Well, maybe not a professional, but close.

I made my way back up and took his cockhead into my mouth again. This time, he didn't hold back and surged forward. I'd wrapped my hand around the base so I didn't choke much, but no way in hell could I take his cock down my throat. That required more time to practice than I had, so I focused on the head.

Bear's groans and words of praise kept me going. The salty precum was a steady stream down my throat. I didn't hate the taste, but it still wasn't love .

"Baby, I can't take it. C'mere," Barrett said, dragging me off his cock.

He smashed his lips against mine and his insistent tongue thrust into my mouth in a filthy pantomime of my ministrations on him. We ground against each other in an attempt to find relief from somewhere.

"We are wearing too many damn clothes."

And then we were both naked and writhing. His body blanketed mine, and I felt the sweat sheen on his back where my hands grasped him to me. His weight was suffocating in all the best ways. Our cocks rubbed, skin to skin, and it was perfection.

It was almost exactly like I'd imagined over the years. But I wasn't leaving this damn bed until I'd been well and truly fucked. I needed it to happen before he figured out I knew nothing about how to do this with another person in the bed. My dildos only went so far.

"I need you to fuck me," I rasped.

His mouth was on my nipple, sending sparks through my body that made speaking difficult. His delicate nibbles and strong sucks were almost too much. My heart pounded out of my chest at the sensations he drew from me. I never wanted it to end, but I wanted more of it.

When Barrett's hand encircled my cock, I almost bucked him off. His low chuckle was accompanied by nibbles and nips, which sent me flying. He looked up with a quirked brow, and I gave him a decisive nod.

I wanted this.

I wanted him.

With a grunt, he slid off me at the slowest pace possible and grabbed his wallet off the side table. On the inside was a little packet of lube. My jealous brain immediately heated at the thought of why he needed to carry lube packets .

It was beyond foolish for me to think he was a virgin. Hell, he hadn't been a virgin when we met. I had no right to be jealous of the men or the occasional woman he'd dated through the years. He'd never pushed me aside for someone else, and that was saying something. It probably said that my unrequited pining had me missing a lot of good times in college, but that was absolutely beside the point.

Bear settled back over me, and my wandering thoughts were instantly replaced with giddy anticipation of finally getting exactly what I'd desired after a decade of wanting. His nose nuzzled along my jawline. His mouth suckled on my earlobe before dropping tiny kisses on it, and I was in heaven.

"How do you want me?" Bear whispered into my ear.

Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit. I hadn't thought this far in advance.

"Uh, well, it's been awhile…"

Well, no lie spoken there.

"I know I shouldn't give a shit, but fuck, I'm glad to hear it," he growled in my ear. "On your knees would be easiest."

"Oh, okay, yeah…" I trailed off when he pulled back so he could slip my dick into his mouth.

And then all thought was lost. All my concentration was focused on the warm, wet heat of his mouth as he sucked my dick down his throat. He had no hesitation or delay or choking. He popped off for just a second to suck his finger. When Barrett grazed my hole with that finger, I jumped like my ass was on fire.

"Whoa, you okay? I didn't mean to scare you."

"Sorry, sorry, I was…uh…never mind. It's all good. Please continue."

"Such pretty manners. Thank you, I will continue, and, baby, we are going for something more than good."

The tip of the finger grazing my hole pushed inside. Barrett paused, letting me get accustomed to the intrusion before moving. Never had I been so grateful for fucking myself on toys. I may not have had a real dick in me, but my toys had worked in a pinch. Though this felt different. More warm, more mobile, more everything.

Barrett eased back and grabbed the packet of lube. He tore it open with his teeth and drizzled a little on his fingers. He eased one, then two fingers into me. After I had a moment to adjust, he slowly scissored his fingers to stretch the ring of muscles.

With a moan, I sought his mouth, and Barrett obliged by plunging his tongue into my mouth. After so much time and who we were to each other, it should have felt strange to be in this position. Instead, it felt like coming home.

When Barrett added a third finger, my thoughts fled and pure sensation took over. His fingers brushed over my prostrate and then returned again and again. I needed this man to get in me. Now . Maybe like yesterday.

"Barrett, I need you to fuck me."

"Baby, are you sure you're ready? If it's been a while, I don't want to hurt you."

Damn this man and his caring ways.

"Yeah, just hurry up."

Barrett chuckled as he eased me over, and I positioned myself on my knees. "Yes, sir. I'll get right on that."

I heard the sounds of him putting on a condom and slicking his covered cock before drizzling more over my hole.

I worried I'd gone too far, but the smile in his voice told me I hadn't. Up on my knees, with my ass in the air, while someone else was in the room wasn't my usual. When I'd imagined this moment, I thought I'd be self-conscious or embarrassed to be so exposed. But I felt so fucking hot. His dick was stone hard, precum leaked from his slit in copious amounts, and he moaned my name on repeat. He wanted me, and that knowledge blew my mind.

When the tip of his cock replaced his fingers, my entire body froze. The intrusion felt so much bigger than the dildos I'd fucked myself with and definitely more than his fingers. I must have made a noise because Barrett slowed his movements to allow me to adjust.

"Baby, remember to bear down. It'll be easier."

I nodded and swallowed whatever tears might have caught in my throat.

"Let me know when you're ready. If you've changed your mind…" His voice trailed off, but nope.

"I just need a second."

I inhaled a few steadying breaths and forced myself to relax. I was getting what I wanted, and I knew if I could get through this part, it would end in the good stuff.

Barrett's lips dropped a trail of kisses across my back, and a shiver coursed through me. My dick, which had flagged with the pressure and fullness, perked back up. Now that my body had gotten more accustomed to the intrusion, it was tolerable. Barrett started to move in increments, which felt better. And when his cock nailed my prostate, it felt fantastic.

His steady, smooth strokes radiated through my core, and I soared a little higher each time. His firm grip on my hips allowed him to set a dizzying pace, which had me gasping for breath. Barrett's hand snaked around and fisted my cock, which sent shockwaves through me. My body clamored for release, and the punishing pace set by Barrett brought me closer and closer. The horrifying thought took hold in my mind that if I came too quickly, it would be obvious I didn't know what the hell I was doing.

"Baby, I need to see you," Barrett gasped.

In a quick motion, Barrett withdrew and flipped me onto my back before I realized what he was about. He immediately captured my mouth in a searing kiss that curled my toes. He hitched one of my legs over his shoulder, the other around his waist, and then plunged back into me.

If I thought before was good, this was mind-blowing. I climbed higher with each thrust. His hand wrapped around my cock and stroked in the same rhythm. We rocked against each other and forgot the rest of the world existed.

"Bear, I need to come."

Whatever control I still held was slipping away fast.

"I know, baby," Barrett responded, following his words with a powerful surge that wrenched a keening cry from me.

His fist jacked my cock, and within a few strokes, I spilled over his fingers. His mouth found mine once again before one final stuttered thrust sent him over the edge too. The condom prevented me from feeling the wetness of his cum, but I still felt the pulse of his cock in my ass.

Bear's harsh breaths blew against my neck when he collapsed on top of me. He kept most of his weight off me, but it was enough that I felt enveloped by him. I vaguely remembered him cleaning me with a warm cloth, but most of it was a blur.

I should stay awake so we could talk awkwardly about how this changed nothing and we'd always be best friends. But I wasn't ready to spew those lies yet, so I closed my eyes and deliberately let sleep overtake me instead. There would be plenty of time later to force myself to believe that nonsense.