Chapter 4

CHAPTER FOUR

OWEN

My restraint on this trip should earn me an award. When we walked up the stairs, all I thought about was how Bear was at eye level to my ass. I may have added an extra wiggle because I was only human.

I'd faked my way through every urge to confess how much I wanted him and how much I needed a Daddy in my life. Not just any Daddy though. Him. I needed him in my life, not just as my best friend.

It would be easier if I'd ever seen him play with littles that were even close to my little age, but nope. His preference ran much closer to middles than what I could offer him.

If he knew how many times—especially when I first figured out he was a Daddy and I was a little—I'd tried to make myself less little of a little, he'd…ugh, do nothing. The only thing he'd say was how perfect I was and that I didn't need to change for anyone to love me.

Jackass.

I needed to change for him so I could be the little he wanted, except, after all these years, I hadn't figured out how to do it. If I were completely honest with myself, it had started to piss me off. On top of that, he'd been pushing me to date more. Except he didn't know I'd never dated. Like ever.

If there was anything sadder than a thirty-year-old virgin little in love with their best friend who was a Daddy but liked middles better, then I'd appreciate it if someone would let me know about it. At this point, my only enjoyment came from my hands and toys. I knew I'd like sex, and I definitely wanted to have it, but I only wanted it with Barrett.

Unfortunately, I couldn't have it with him because he wasn't into me, and we'd passed the window to make it something more. Add to it my weirdness about being little in front of people because I was really effing little, and you got a not-so-great recipe for a throuple between my hand, my favorite dildo, and a porn subscription.

Pathetic.

What was not pathetic was how amazing this lodge could look if the current decor was removed and burned. Usually, our projects were bigger spaces. With only twenty or so guest rooms, the profit margin was potentially slim, but that was Bear's area of expertise.

Notwithstanding his dad's blustering, everyone in the company knew Barrett had taken the family business to its current height.

His dad had made a decent living investing in commercial spaces, but Barrett envisioned more. It was his idea to repurpose existing structures into something more interesting and commercially viable instead of owning only commercial office spaces.

Because of Barrett, I'd been able to redesign a school into a hotel, a bank into a speakeasy, and a frat house into a kink club. I hadn't done a ski lodge, though, and the idea intrigued me. I knew our target clientele would expect a specific vibe of rustic yet luxe, but the challenge would have to be implemented without going cutesy.

I hurriedly put on my jacket to protect myself from the mountain chill and headed outside to the car with keys in hand. It didn't take long to fetch my items from the trunk. I heard a squeak as I closed the trunk. It was difficult to tell where it came from, so I reopened the trunk to double-check I hadn't gotten anything stuck in the door. The only thing in there was Barrett's gym bag, a first-aid kit, and an emergency bag a certain someone insisted was a great idea.

My phone buzzed in my pocket. Jakob flashed across the screen.

Jakob

Hello, my wonderfully talented friend.

Owen

A genius is texting me? Nice.

Jakob

Hardly.

Owen

It's literally certified.

Jakob

No one cares about that except my parents.

Owen

Okay, fine, but I still get to think it's cool.

Jakob

I'll give you that one if you say yes to what I need you to say yes to.

Owen

Huh? I'm gonna need that again, and slower this time.

Jakob

I need you to say yes.

Owen

To what?

Jakob

You know we are having a party at Wilde Dandies, right?

Owen

Aaannnddd

Jakob

I want you to go on a date with someone.

Owen

Wut? confused emoji

Jakob

We are auctioning off dates.

Owen

Jakob, you know I don't play at the club.

Jakob

No worries!! I want you to sign up for a vanilla date.

Owen

But I'm not vanilla, not that there's anything wrong with that.

Jakob

Of course not, but you can't keep pining. You need to get out.

Owen

I'm not pining for anyone. annoyed emoji

Jakob

I'm not dumb 'cause I'm the certified genius here, and I know pining when I see it. Pining for a tattooed business owner? A certain tree of a man?

Owen

You're so wrong that I can't even explain how wrong you are.

Jakob

Great. Type the words "I'm not pining for Bear," and I won't put your name in the hat. Don't think we haven't all noticed your cute little nickname for him. And don't think I haven't noticed how damn sad you look when you walk by the Rumpus Room. You might not play in public, but that doesn't mean you don't want to go in.

Owen

…erased words

…erased words

…erased words

Fine. Put me in the auction.

Jakob

happy dance emoji You're the bestest! I'm out of the lab late today, and I'm going to have ice cream for dinner. I'll have an extra scoop just for you to celebrate.

Owen

There is zero chance your Papa will let you have ice cream for dinner. Reed is on another health food kick, and you know it.

Jakob

Ugh, I know, and I hate it. I need carbs! I need sugar! I need grease! I need cheese! I'm gonnnnna die.

Owen

If you die, the auction will be canceled.

Jakob

GRRRRR, you're right. I can't die. Fist shaking at sky GIF

Now you definitely have to do it. I'll tell you the details later. Rory says hi. Bye!

I tucked my phone back into my pocket, grabbed my planner with swatches, and closed the trunk lid.

As I made my way back inside, I heard the squeak again. It was louder than before and sounded like it came from near the porch. I ventured closer and set my books down on the steps. It was better to be safe than sorry, so I fished the keys out of my pocket just in case.

Off to one side of the porch was a jumble of boxes that someone had left in a haphazard pile. There weren't any clues on what I should be looking for, but I was pretty sure snakes weren't common in the Cascade Mountains. I hoped. I really, really effing hoped.

I told myself to leave it alone, go inside, and do the job I was paid to do. But like most good advice, I ignored myself and moved some lighter boxes.

Just when I knew I was wasting my time, a tiny flash of black darted inside a wood crate near the bottom of the pile. I sped up, moving the boxes off the top until I could reach the crate. I was pretty sure skunks were born in the spring, and it was much too small to be even half-grown.

Finally cleared, I crouched to get a better look and peered into the box. Hidden in the far corner was the tiniest ball of fluff. His eyes were gold and half as big as the rest of him. His body was teeny tiny. I wasn't a kitten expert, but I'd guess his age was around eight weeks, maybe less .

He tried to hiss at me, but it mostly came out as a raspberry. He was big mad, though, and tried to intimidate me with puffed-out fur and an arched back.

It did not work.

"Hey, buddy, it's okay."

I kept my voice low and soft. Hopefully, it would be enough to calm him.

"I won't hurt you. You're so sweet. Where's your mama? You're too little to be out here without your mama. She's gonna be so sad when she can't find you."

I jangled the keys to see if he would play with them. He wasn't interested in that, but he did lower his arched back. I inched my hands forward to pick him up and did an imaginary happy dance when he let me scoop him up. He felt even smaller, cuddled against my chest. With a hiss, all his relaxation disappeared and he was back to raised hackles.

My attention was so focused on the sweet little demon trying to claw up my jacket that I wasn't aware we weren't alone until the blast of hot, stinky breath hit the back of my neck.

I froze on the spot.

When the second blast came, I clutched the kitten closer to me, made a quick prayer to any deity that might be interested in having me saved from certain death, and slowly turned around.

Oh, holy fucking shit.

"Bear!" I stammered at the black bear less than two feet away from me.

In the back of my mind, I remembered that being big and loud was the key to scaring away bears. The kitten tried to leap out of arms, hissing his most ferocious threat, but it came out squeaky and would have been adorable if I wasn't panicking.

I rose to my feet while the bear was momentarily distracted by the cat .

"Bear! Go away, Bear!"

I raised one hand over my head and waved it while slowly backing away.

"Oh my God, go away! Bear! Bear!"

"I'm coming. Hold on a sec."

The other Bear's voice floated on the wind, but all I could think about was that I didn't want to be killed by a bear and die a fucking virgin. What if someone found out and put it in my obituary or announced it at my funeral?

Here lies Owen.

He could arrange throw pillows like a champ.

A bear killed him, and he died without ever knowing the touch of a man.

Sad story all around.

"Go away, Bear! Go! Go! Scat! Skedaddle!"

I tightened my grip on the kitten, stomped my feet, and raised my free hand. The bear had initially moved back but hadn't budged from the new spot about three feet away. It moved forward an inch or two, and I desperately looked around for a weapon. All I had were the keys, so that's what I would use.

I threw the keys as hard as possible at the bear's nose. It was a direct hit. The keys bounced right off the end of the bear's snout, and the immediate snort of surprise seemed like a good thing. The bear turned, snuffled at the keys, and ate them? What the hell ? One minute, the keys were laying on the wooden planks, and then, poof, they were gone.

My first thought was I hoped it hurt a little bit going down, not a lot, though, because a bear was gonna bear. My second thought was that I'd lost my damn mind if this was what I thought about in my last moments of life .

" Bear ! Go away!" I shouted as loud as I could muster.

The bear gave me a baleful look and turned away.

"Why are you yelling at me to go away?" the human Bear asked as he turned the corner. "Oh fuck…that's a bear!" he shouted.

The black bear had gotten as far as the porch steps but now stopped to consider this new interloper on his land.

"Get out of here…go…shoo…go on…git," not literal Bear said in his loud, deep voice.

Barrett's size must have been more intimidating than mine because the bear left the porch and wandered back into the pine trees that ringed the clearing. They stopped at the edge and gave one more longing look at my future carcass before disappearing into the forest trees.

My heart pounded a rapid staccato and air refused to enter my lungs. I clung to the kitten but collapsed on the porch, trying to regulate my breathing and heart rate into anything that resembled normal.

Bear, the human variety, raced over and dropped to his knees beside me. Maybe I should have been embarrassed, but I'd come nose-to-nose with an effing bear . Tears leaked from my eyes, and I wasn't concerned about wiping them away.

"Babe, are you okay? Did he swipe at you?"

Barrett ran his hands across my shoulders and down my arms. I tried to shake my head, but I was too overwhelmed to force my body to move.

"Baby? Answer me. Did the bear swipe or nip you?"

"N-n-n-o," I stuttered out.

"Okay, let's get you inside." He finally noticed the kitten I'd clutched to me. "Oh, who's this little one?"

Barrett peeled back my fingers and ran a gentle finger over the kitten's silky head. He hissed a little but didn't try to move away from me or claw his way out .

"It's okay, buddy. I'm not going to take Owen away from you. You can come too."

Barrett helped me onto my unsteady feet and guided me back inside the lodge. My new friend snuggled in close, and I felt his vibrating purrs. It helped ground me.

Never in my entire life had I been more scared. There was so damn much I wanted to do, and I hadn't done any of it yet. Not dying a damn virgin was at the top of that list.

Barrett deposited me on one of the ugly couches and sat beside me. I felt his hands run over me again to check for injuries.

When I managed to get my eyes to focus properly, the first place I looked was up at him. He was so close I could smell the faint musk of his adrenaline. His eyes were narrowed with worry, and his harsh breathing matched my own.

But his eyes? They were the same ones I fell for when I'd sat on a different couch more than a decade earlier, and they shone with the same level of concern.

"Da, I scare."