17. Hartley

How stupid could I be, thinking Jordan would want anything to do with me when he had Vail here? He might have wanted me before when it was just the two of us. But I was nothing compared to Vail. He was wealthy, had his shit together, and could cook and bake rivaling a Michelin chef.

What did I have?

Debt and a rundown rental with Jordan as my only client, while I tried to build my business back to what it was. Logically, I knew I was more than that. Seeing Jordan and Vail together, kissing, touching, just like I longed to do with them, it was more than I could handle.

My crush on Vail had come back full force now that I'd spent a day with him. One fucking day and I was ready to show him I was no longer the awkward teen I used to be. No, I was the awkward adult still trying to wade through life.

I groaned and planted myself face-first on the bed. If it wasn't for the flu, I wouldn't be here. I wouldn't feel like this. Sure, I'd still want Jordan, but I wouldn't have had to witness him devouring Vail.

A knock on the door drew my attention, but I didn't bother to lift my head. I'd sooner breathe into the comforter than move.

Jordan's voice floated through the door. "Hartley?"

"No," I mumbled.

He opened the door, ignoring me. Figured. I didn't really mean it, anyway. I was stupid and still wanted him. Fuck my life.

I sniffled against the bed, willing this flu to go away so I could leave. It was the only thing keeping me here.

The bed dipped beside me, and a gentle hand touched my back where my shirt must have ridden up. Jordan's palm grazed over my skin, up beneath my shirt. A full body shiver went through me. "I wanted to touch you before," he murmured. "My skin on yours. But I resisted."

"Why?"

"I'm not someone you should want."

Turning my head, I kept my cheek pressed to the bed so I could look at him. His hair was still wet and combed back. He wore a pair of slacks and a white button-down shirt. No tie or jacket. This was as casual as I'd seen him, if I didn't factor in when I got an eyeful of his hard body with just a towel covering him from the waist down. "That's not for you to decide."

"No, but you don't know enough about me to decide for yourself."

"And Vail does?" I sounded jealous. The sulking part of me didn't give a shit.

"He was here when I had it out with my son. When I said things I didn't share with anyone. Dexen and Greer heard as well."

"Yet they live."

"Hartley…"

"Tell me. I want to know."

So, he did. He told me what happened to his wife. How she was going to have him and his son killed. If she would have still been alive, I would have tried to end her. How could someone want their child dead? Jordan thought he was the monster. The reality was his wife had been.

"What else?" I asked. By the way his story abruptly stopped, I knew it didn't end there.

"Malik was my second-in-command." Then he shared what happened on the last day of Malik's life. How Jordan had to choose between the man he loved and his son. "This can never leave this space, nor can anything else I've said. There's more to the story. When Malik's attorney had the reading of his will, I went there and encountered one other person."

He paused, making me ask, "Who?"

"Romeo. He's Malik's son. I didn't know until that day. Until I had a letter in my hand that Mal had left for me."

"So not only did you kill your wife, but you killed Malik too."

He nodded. "I loved him."

"And now?" Why that was so important given everything he'd just told me, I didn't want to analyze.

"He's a ghost of my past. Romeo is a reminder of the guilt lying on my shoulders."

"That's why you're watching his dog."

"I'll take care of Romeo since Mal can't. No one can know about Romeo's connection to Mal or me. It's why I'm never seen with him in public. I don't want him to become a target."

I pushed into a seated position and faced him, deciding to not delve any deeper into the nightmares he lived through. "Jesus, you have shit luck when it comes to romance."

He cocked an eyebrow.

"You're worried you're going to have to kill Vail or me or whoever you fall for. I understand why, but you know that's not the reality, right? I'm not part of your world. There aren't people breathing down my neck, trying to get to me." Except maybe a bank, but that was my grandfather's doing. "I'm not them."

"I'm aware. The point remains. I shouldn't get involved with anyone. It doesn't end well." He didn't need to say the words for me to understand the pain he was in at having to kill them. Yes, he was obviously angry at them for what they did, but he still killed people he'd loved.

I took a deep breath and asked a question that made me vulnerable. I didn't like it, not when it came to Jordan. He held too much power over me. "Do you not want me? You were kissing Vail. What I saw in there?—"

Jordan lunged forward until his lips were against mine. His tongue pressed to my mouth, urging me to open. I moaned as he pushed me back to the bed so he could move his body over mine. He didn't stop, didn't slow, didn't give me a chance to breathe. With his body flush to mine, and how hard he was, it was obvious he was trying to say without words he wanted me.

Unwilling to let him stop, I wrapped my arms and legs around him so he couldn't go anywhere. I would strip bare and offer him my ass if I thought he'd take me. This wasn't about that. At least not yet. I hoped there was a yet.

"Jordan," I panted against his lips when he gave me an inch to pull back. Desperate words poured from me. "Don't stop. I need you."

He ducked his head to press his mouth to my neck. I could feel the growl against my skin. "Don't doubt my desire for you." He thrust his hips.

My hands went to his head to hold him in place, the still damp strands weaving between my fingers. "What about Vail?"

"You want him too."

"For years when I was younger. He wasn't attainable." The only reason I could carry a conversation was because I was still clothed. Even at that, I was so close to coming from lack of being touched for too long.

"What if he is?" I heard from the doorway.

Jordan didn't move. He punched his hips forward like just the sound of Vail's voice made him wilder.

"Oh my god." I dropped my head back and moved my hands to Jordan's hips. "You're going to make me come."

He was a man possessed, thrusting his dick alongside mine.

"Jordan," Vail said. "It's not fair that Hartley can come, and I can't."

That had Jordan pausing and me whining.

"Shit," Jordan bit out and lifted from me. His silver hair was a mess, going every which way, thanks to my fingers. My eyes fixated on where his dick was outlined in his slacks, like it was straining toward the top to be freed. His once pressed pants were wrinkled from what we'd done.

Jordan's eyes bounced from me to Vail until he spun and exited the room. I expected him to go back to his bedroom, but he took the stairs to the first floor. A few seconds later, the door to his office slammed shut, causing me to jump.

"What the fuck just happened?" I muttered.

"Jordan. He's a tornado, apparently. We're left in his wake while he moves on to who the hell knows what next." He motioned toward the bed with his chin. "Can I?"

I nodded. My dick was still hard. Having Vail close was a recipe for disaster.

"This was… interesting," he murmured. "I forgot about being sick and why I was here for a minute."

"You and me both. How could I think with the way he moved?"

Vail chuckled, then coughed. "Did we really kiss him with the flu?"

I shrugged. "What difference does it make? He's the one who gave it to us, and we're feeling better than we were, thanks to the antiviral."

"True, but still. We should be resting."

"In our own beds."

"Do you wish you were home and not here?" he asked.

"Home… I haven't felt like I was at home since I lived with my grandfather. It's been too much moving around to feel settled."

Vail turned so he could prop his leg on the bed and face me. "Are you happy?"

"Honestly, no. I'm in debt, thanks to trying to save my grandfather's house. My business declined along with his health and subsequent death. Now I'm underwater, trying to do everything at once. What does it say about me that being here with the two of you is the happiest I've been in a while?"

"That you needed a break."

"I should be working."

"You have to stop every once in a while, or you'll burn out." He was right, but he also wasn't in the situation I was. He could do a job he loved without the pressure of producing more faster so his income grew. I wasn't even treading water at this point. Yes, Jordan's money helped greatly. More was needed before I'd come close to being comfortable again.

"Did you mean what you said about you being attainable?"

Vail raked his hand through his hair. "Years ago, no. I didn't look at you as more than my best friend's little brother. You were too young then."

"And now?" I had to know. His words of only minutes ago were still in my head. I wouldn't chase a ghost of my past though.

"Now…" He took my hand in his to toy with my fingers. "Everything's different. You're not the same man and neither am I. I've been through hell and back. While I want to find someone to love again, part of me is afraid. Jordan is just… Jordan. I know what I'm getting with him. He doesn't want to commit, but kisses like if he doesn't, he'll die. And the words he spoke to you, the confessions. I knew part of it but not all. I couldn't help overhearing him. And you, Hart, I've taken notice of you since the moment I got here. To see Jordan on you, practically fucking you while fully clothed, it turned me on, and further reinforced where my mind has been. You're attractive, Hart. You also have the power to really hurt me."

"I would never?—"

"Not in the way Gil did. You wouldn't do that to me. But in here…" He put his free hand over his heart. "In here, I could be easily shredded. It's the only fragile part of my body left. Everything else mends when it's broken. Not my heart."

"Vail," I whispered. "I'd die if I hurt you."

Tears swam in his eyes. "I'm scared."

I lifted my hand to cup his jaw. "You're safe with me."

"What about Jordan?"

"We know who he is and what he does. The question is, are we going to accept him into our lives as he is? I can't speak for you, but even before coming here with this horrible flu, I wanted him. We're from two very different worlds, yet I don't want to run away. If anything, I want to run toward him."

"It's one thing to know what he does. It was quite another to see blood on him."

"If we do this, if he desires us for more than sex, we're going to have to get used to it."

Vail shook his head. "I can look past it when it's not in front of me."

"But you struggle when it is."

He nodded.