16. Jordan

I was still riding high from drawing blood from Leeland. He had it coming for a while. After what he'd confessed, he was lucky to walk out of my building alive. With Hartley and Vail here, I didn't want anyone near them but the people I trusted.

The only reason Sheldon didn't watch over my home was because I needed him to concentrate his efforts elsewhere. I also needed him to be available at the drop of a hat. He couldn't do that if he was watching over me and where I lived. Or Hartley and Vail as it currently was.

Raiden was where I'd left him when I returned to my floor. The scents in the space drew me toward the kitchen where Vail was removing something from the oven.

"That smells good," I told them.

They turned in unison. Vail's eyes widened while Hartley sighed and stepped around the island to get closer to me.

"I'd ask where you were, but by the blood on your cheek, I already have a guess."

Lifting my hand, I went to swipe away the blood I'd missed when I cleaned up, but Hartley took my wrist in his hand to stop me.

"Not with your bare hand. You do realize the diseases you could contract from blood getting into a cut on your hand or elsewhere, correct?"

"I hadn't thought about it." When I was making someone bleed, I didn't put gloves on or think about contracting a disease or virus. I got my blood checked regularly, thanks to my doctor. I'd been fine so far.

"Please take better care of yourself. If you haven't figured it out yet, I care about you, as does Vail." His eyes dragged over my face and neck but stopped at the base of my throat. "Maybe change, since you have a bit of something on your collar." Jesus. I hadn't realized Leeland's blood got everywhere. I was in too much of a rush to get back here that I didn't take a thorough look at myself in the mirror.

I nodded and headed upstairs to my bedroom, stripping my clothes in the attached bathroom. Like much of my home, it was muted dark shades and smooth, clean lines. The bathroom had white marble countertops with a bit of gray mixed in. The same black marble that adorned the floor downstairs continued up here, except the floors on the second floor were heated. I didn't like my bare feet encountering cold floors unless it was summer.

Reaching into the shower, I turned the water on to get it hot, then stepped inside. The spray fell over my skin, washing away what I should have gotten to begin with. I grabbed the body wash and began cleaning myself with the loofah, ensuring I got everything. If I'd been covered in blood, I would have had to use the clean room downstairs where there were showers, plenty of bleach, and solid white walls and flooring to easily spot if any was missed in the cleanup.

Early on, before I had the money to line the pockets of the cops, I was raided multiple times. This building was the first one I purchased as I started moving up in the life of crime. The cops homed in on that room but found nothing. No one had used it yet, so it was as clean as the day the tiled floor was installed. But it also made me realize I had to play the space off as a locker room of sorts. The second time I was raided, I'd had it outfitted as such. Off to the side were lockers and a bench, small but there. The size of the showers was much bigger, but I could say it was for the staff to clean after exercising in the gym I had built in the next room over. The gym got used to this day. I went down there, as did most who worked for me. Them being in shape benefited me.

After I finished cleaning my body, face, and hair, I shut off the water and grabbed a towel from the wall where it hung. I only had it loosely covering my body when I emerged from the bathroom amid a cloud of steam. What I didn't expect was Vail sitting on my bed. I didn't even allow Malik to sit on anything in here, and I loved him. But as I looked at Vail, at the pain in his eyes, I couldn't yell. I couldn't make him leave.

"Vail?"

He stood and walked toward me. A pair of gray sweatpants hung low on his hips and a long-sleeved white thermal shirt hugged his chest and arms. God, he looked so fucking warm. A warmth I wanted to bury myself in, yet I held back. No good would come from it.

His dark brown hair was longer on top and swept to the side, partially falling over one of his beautiful eyes. I resisted the urge to brush it off his face. "I'm sorry."

"What could you need to apologize for?"

"When I saw the blood on you, it brought me back to when it was me on the receiving end of my ex's violence. When the blood was on my skin because of the pain he'd inflicted. I knew coming here the first time who you were and what you did. I'm not na?ve. Seeing it is different. While I don't want to witness what you do, the reminder was there when you returned. The bit of blood on you..."

"I won't apologize for who I am, but I will for you seeing it." To anyone else, it was a little blood. To Vail, it was a reminder of the abuse he'd endured. "I don't want to be the cause of your pain."

"Jordan," he whispered as his fingers danced across my cheek where the blood no longer remained. "I don't know what I'm doing. I shouldn't get closer to you, but I can't move away."

I fought not to lean into his touch. It was a dangerous road we traveled. "The only two people I've ever loved died at my hand."

"You did what you had to, so JJ was safe."

I nodded. Apologizing for what I'd done wouldn't happen. The guilt I'd lived with stayed inside me. Even though my son knew the truth, the weight on me hadn't lifted. It never would. I took away his mother, just like I took away Romeo's father. If I asked Romeo, he'd say Malik was never a dad to him in the true sense. Malik was nothing more than a bank to Romeo, paying for him and his mother to live. He didn't see Romeo or care for him in any other way. That didn't erase what I felt. It was why I'd do anything in my power, so Romeo was taken care of and wanted for nothing. Vail didn't know that though. He didn't know my connection to Romeo.

"Why can't I move away?" Vail asked with a sniffle, reminding me he was still recovering from the flu. "I shouldn't seek you out."

"No, you shouldn't. There's nothing good about me."

"I've already told you there is. You don't see it." I never would. When I looked in the mirror, I didn't find a man who was to be loved. I found someone to be hated, and I was fine with that. Or I was until Vail and Hartley entered my life. Now, I didn't know what the fuck to think.

Vail pressed closer, so his chest touched mine. Only a couple of inches separated us in height. Not enough for me to have to look up at him.

The water still clinging to my skin seeped into his shirt. "Can I kiss you?" he asked.

"You shouldn't want to." No wasn't a word I could speak. With the way my breath came faster, and my heart picked up speed, it felt like I was about to leap from a plane. Would my parachute open or would I plummet to my death?

"Yet I do." He dipped his head but didn't kiss me. Hot, sweet breath coasted over my mouth. "You didn't answer me."

"I can't deny you." Flu or not, right or wrong, I couldn't turn away.

His lips pressed to mine as his hands settled on my hips. Every part of my body lit with a fire that built the longer we were close. Vail moaned against my mouth, causing me to open so I could taste the sound on his lips. God, he was so fucking sweet. Whatever he baked downstairs was decadent. To taste it on his lips, the sweet berries, the hint of mint, and the slight bitterness of chocolate, I wanted to swallow him whole.

I growled into the kiss and held him tight so he couldn't back away. Vail's blunt nails dug into the flesh on my hips as he tilted his head to get better access to my mouth. I grew hard and began rubbing myself on him, the towel and his clothes a barrier I wished were gone. It had been too long since I was with someone like this. Someone I could kiss, and taste and fucking overpower. Who I wanted to be near for longer than a quick fuck.

Vail was big, muscular, no doubt strong, but he didn't want to control me. He readily gave in and sank against me, content to let me lead. It fed my desire to be everything he wanted.

He dropped his head back to suck in breaths of air while I went to work on his neck, kissing and licking over his skin, needing to taste every inch of him. He pushed his hips forward, his cock hard beside mine. "Jordan," he panted. "Please."

"Sweet words will get you everywhere."

I was ready to drop to my knees and wring an orgasm out of him. Some men thought doing so would give up control to the man fucking their mouth. Not once had I gotten on my knees for anyone. With Vail, he would let me continue to own him down there. It wouldn't matter how I was positioned. He'd be mine for the taking. On my knees, on my back, or against the wall, I would be in control where Vail was concerned. And I wouldn't dare hurt a single fucking hair on him. He trusted me.

A sound drew my attention away from where my lips pressed to the base of Vail's throat. Hartley's eyes were wide as he stood frozen in the doorway. We held each other's gazes for a moment before he took off down the hall. The sound of his bedroom door shutting was like ice pouring over me.

"Shit," I bit out and released Vail.

He palmed his cock and dropped his chin to his chest. "I knew you wanted him."

Before I could go to Hartley, I had to make sure Vail understood what I had trouble expressing. "Do you think what just happened between us meant nothing to me?" I asked. "Vail, look at me."

His head slowly lifted. "I was stupid."

Gripping his chin between my fingers, I waited until his eyes held mine. "I don't do things I don't mean to. I wanted to touch you. Given the chance, I would have buried myself deep inside you after I tasted every inch of you. Do I desire Hartley too? I do. The problem is, I shouldn't go near either of you, yet I can't seem to fucking help myself. You're both here and I never want to let you go. I don't know what it means, if there's anywhere for us to go, but don't leave. And don't think I desire you less than him." I took his hand from his cock and placed it on mine. "I want you."

"That could have been in the moment."

I growled low in my throat. "Vail, hear me when I say I fucking want you."

He nodded, though uncertainty still swam in his eyes. "Go talk to him. I don't want him to be upset."

"Don't leave." I worried the moment I walked into the other room; he'd disappear.