Chapter Five

"Miss Daisy, can we go outside?"

I close my eyes and count to five as I try to deal with the controlled chaos in my classroom. I love children, enjoy the age I teach at the daycare, but we"re in our second week of no sunshine and cold wind. We"re all going stir-crazy. "I"m sorry, Penny. You can"t go out; it"s supposed to rain today, and it"s so cold."

Her hopeful face falls, and I"m afraid a tantrum is next. "We haven"t been able to go outside for dayyssss." She drags the word, bottom lip sticking out.

"I know." I crouch down so that we can look eye-to-eye with one another. Grabbing her hand with mine, I hope she realizes how sorry I am that we can"t go outside. "I"m sick of it, too, but if you get cold, you may get sick, and that"s no good, right?"

Her dark eyes are wide and sad. She appears heartbroken. "I guess so."

"We"ll play a game in a few minutes, okay? Let me make sure everyone"s got everything they need for afternoon snack, and get that eaten. After that, we"ll snack and have fun, okay?"

Penny sighs. "Alright, Miss Daisy. Thank you."

She"s so polite it"s hard to be annoyed. My co-teacher, Annabelle, comes over, a wry grin covering her face. "Four is a hard age. They don"t get it. And winter is the worst. Once spring hits, we"ll be able to go outside more and there won"t be so much inside work."

I inhale deeply, nodding. This is my first year as a teacher at Little Tikes, and I wasn"t quite prepared for the long winter. Spring should be here soon, thank God. "She breaks my heart, every time she comes over here with that bottom lip out and those eyes huge. It"s like she knows exactly how to get to me."

"There"s always one in every class. They hit just a little harder than the rest of them. You"ll be able to deal with it the more hardened you get as a teacher," she assures. "Right now, you don"t want to disappoint them; you"re still new and you haven"t had to be stern. Eventually you"ll get to the point where you just accept that sometimes you have to do things that are best for them, and you can ignore their cute little faces and puppy dog eyes."

"I don"t think I"ll ever get there," I whisper, grimacing.

"You will." She pats me on the arm. "Eventually you"ll realize these little things are energy vampires, and you"ll have to do it for self-preservation. So, I haven"t wanted to be nosy, but here I am. How is married life treating you? I saw Weston the other day, and he mentioned that you and Jasper had indeed done the deed. All of us are amazed because the last time you two talked in college, I think I remember you cursing him with stepping on a Lego and falling, hoping that he"d hit his head so hard he"d have amnesia. Or something to that effect."

My face heats up with embarrassment. I can"t seem to remember the fact that we got into a public disagreement in college, and everyone knows about it. Even my grandmother who has lived in an assisted living home since I was fifteen knew about it. We were the fucking talk of the town.

But contrary to popular rumor, we haven"t actually done the deed yet. We"ve only been married for a week and a half, and it was a surprise to both of us. I can"t wait until we have to tell our future kids how Mom and Dad ended up married. "I was angry. He"d just stood me up for the third time, after he promised he wasn"t standing me up. And I was hurt, because I really liked him."

"And look at you now." She raises an eyebrow. "Married to the hot road crew worker, who makes being broody an art form. What does he look like without a shirt on? I"ve always wondered."

I sigh, pointing a finger at her. "You"ve definitely got that right. He"s quiet, even more so than he was in college. As a reminder, that's my husband you"re talking about. Thank you for not objectifying him."

She laughs. "Are you two living together yet? I know you had an apartment over the top of Get Baked."

"I"m moving out this weekend, everyone"s helping. So we haven"t spent any time together yet, really. I think we"re both trying to avoid it." Everyone already knows why he had to get married. At least if they know him well enough, and I"m almost positive the news will make its way around town as soon as others are able to talk.

She props her chin up on her hand. "I do have a question, Daisy. What"s in this for you? Everyone knows why he did it. Why did you?"

That"s the million-dollar question. One I haven"t even looked closely enough at myself to answer. "For a good portion of my life, he was one of my best friends. I know how much the foundation means to him, and I could help, so why wouldn"t I?"

Penny squints as she looks at me. "I kind of think there"s more going on than that, but if that"s the answer we"re going with right now, I"ll let you."

"Thank you. I really don"t want to get into it, until I"ve come to grips with it myself." I clasp my hands over my mouth, as if I can"t help the words that just keep coming.

"I"ll let you off the hook and not ask you anything else, but know I love you to death, and I"m here for you if you need anything. I"m going to go to lunch if you"ve got the class?" she says by way of asking if it"s okay for her to leave me by myself.

"I got it. Have a good one. When you get back, I"ll go."

Annabelle waves as she leaves, and I take a moment of quiet to contemplate what my life has become in the past few days. If someone had asked me even three months ago if I thought I"d be married right now, and even more if I would be married to Jasper Hamilton, I would"ve said no, that they"d lost their fucking minds. However, all of that changed, on a cold night two weeks ago, when I realized that loving someone can sometimes mean doing it to the detriment of everything you thought you"d stand strong to.

"Miss Daisy, can you come help me?" One of the kids who needs me, takes my attention. Which was probably for the best. I don"t need to spend my time at work daydreaming about my husband. Ya know, the one man I swore I"d never date again. "Be right there."

Duty calls, and it doesn"t have time for my memories of when I decided to throw all caution to the wind and marry the one man I said I wouldn"t.

* * *

Afew hours later, I"m in my apartment, packing the last of my boxes. It"s heavy, and not just the weight of things inside. Me leaving the space I"ve called mine since college graduation. I"m trying to figure out if I've made the right decision. Distracted, I pull my laptop closer to me, needing a bit of a break.

Like I"ve found myself doing recently, I"m on the YouTube channel for The Hamilton Foundation. It"s one way I"ve been able to watch Jasper without him knowing. The joy on his face in these videos is everything I remember wanting to see, but not ever being able to witness, back in the day. I did this a lot after we broke up, and I promised myself I wouldn't do it again, but here we are.

Watching, a smile spreads across my face.

We"re here with Jasper Hamilton. The foundation is a testament to his parents, who passed away when he was a young child. We"re asking him a few questions, about what it means to him to be a part of this.

"Everything," he answers. "I wasn"t allowed to be raised by my parents because of the accident, and I wanted it more than anything. These children that we work with don"t have the option, because they"ve been removed from the care of their parents. I know what it"s like to miss someone. Spending my time with them makes me incredibly happy.

Judging by the look on his face, it"s true. I"ve always wanted him to smile like this for me, but he never has. My chest tightens, because now I realize just how important this is to Jasper, and I know we have to make it work.