Chapter Six

I"m frozen to the bone by quitting time. It"s one of the worst parts of working out in the elements, but it"s also one of the reasons I like working outside so much. It makes me feel something. Whether it be hot, cold, wet, uncomfortable, whatever. For so long after my parents died, I didn"t feel anything. I would hurt myself just to have an emotional response. I would get into fights and goad my opponents into hitting me. It"s been many years since I did that, but only because I was able to get this physically demanding job.

I wave at Weston as I get in my truck and drive away. Today is not the day to sit around and shoot the shit. I"m not in the mood for it. Fact is I haven"t been in the mood for it for a while, but I would still do it. Today, I can"t make myself.

I"m still irritated about the way I left my grandfather this morning.

Typically I would go straight home. Instead, I head toward Daisy"s apartment. She"s living there for a few more days. I notice her car as soon as I turn into the drive and the anxiety I"ve been dealing with for most of the day immediately goes away. That low-level buzz in my stomach, the noise inside my head, it all quietens. The way it did in high school when we were just friends, and then when we moved on to being a couple. Even when she didn"t want to talk to me, I would seek her out and be close without her knowing. The entirety of our senior year in college, I would sit at a table in the library with a hoodie on and watch her like a creeper. But I needed it, so that I didn't psyche myself out for test, and just to feel like I was home. She was the only one who made me feel that way since my parents died.

Parking, I turn the car off and then head in, taking the stairs two at a time. When I get to the landing, I start second-guessing myself. Should I be here? Is it right for me to be here? We may have rings, and she"s changing her last name, but this isn"t a traditional marriage at all. I"m confused on if I should expect her to be understanding of the situation I"m feeling or not.

Before I can talk myself into turning around and heading back the way I came, her door flings open.

"Jasper?" she gasps when she sees me.

"Hey." I tuck my hands into the pockets of my jeans. "Sorry, I was about to knock, or leave. I hadn"t decided yet." I scratch the back of my neck, embarrassed as fuck right now.

"I was just heading out to take my trash down." She indicates the trash bag she"s carrying in her hand.

"I"ll take it for you." I reach out, grabbing it. Our fingers brush, and that little bit of electricity that"s always been between us instantly fires to life. We stand there staring at each other for longer than necessary when I sigh and turn away.

"Jasper," she calls out. "Why did you come here? What"s going on?"

I turn back around so I face her. "I"ve had a rough day," I press the words out there with a tight throat. "I didn"t want to be alone." I shrug. "Abel"s with Kara, Barrett and Weston are at Monroe"s, and I don"t feel like drinking," I explain. "I just wanna hang out with someone who doesn"t expect anything of me."

She smiles softly, which I don"t expect, considering our history. "Well, take that trash bag down, because it stinks. Then come back up here and you can hang out with me. I have to warn you though, all I"m doing is packing my shit."

It all sounds better than what I was going to do on my own. "Be right back."

"Just come on in, I"ll leave it unlocked for you."

It"s on the tip of my tongue to tell her that"s not safe, even in Broken Falls, but I truly do know her. She would hate that, and I"m not in the habit of forcing my opinions on her like I once was. I swallow the words. "Be right back."

Her smirk goes straight to my cock. "Good job, Jasper. You wanted to tell me it"s dangerous and give me your opinion, but you didn"t. I can"t believe you were able to not tell me what you thought. Looks like you really have learned."

"I"m trying. Can"t say I"m happy about it, but I am trying to be a better human."

She reaches forward, putting her pointer fingers on the edges of my lips. She presses them, forcing them into a smile. "Even when it"s not a real one, smiling makes you look handsome."

"Oh, yeah." I jerk my head back from her. "What do I normally look like?"

She tilts her head to the side. "Broody. Definitely broody, and don"t get me wrong - it"s fucking hot - you know that. You know the mysterious air you have is like fuckin" catnip to most women. I never see you smile, but even when you don"t, you"re devastatingly good looking. It all just works for you, in ways it shouldn"t, Jasper." She grins. "But you didn't need me to tell you all that, did you?"

I gust out a breath, rolling my lips together. "If you just wanted to tell me how hot I am, you didn"t have to go to all that trouble."

She giggles, smacking me in the chest. "Only you would take all the nice things I said about you and condense it to one full thought."

"It"s a gift. What can I say? Be right back." My heart is pounding. I have to get out of here. The moment feels way too heavy. She"s seeing way too much about me. I work hard not to make myself an open book, and here she is seeing right through all of it. Instead of taking the steps two at a time going down, I do it slowly. Enough to give my racing pulse time to calm down. When I step into the cool night, I finally feel as if I"m not suffocating any longer. I gulp in breaths, letting it flow through my body, allowing it to ease the anxiety I"m having. When I have control over my emotions again, I walk over to the dumpster and take care of her trash.

"Are you sure you"re okay?" she asks when I make it back up to her apartment.

"Fine," I insist. "You weren"t kidding when you said it"s a mess in here." I give her what I hope is a wry grin. "How much shit do you have?"

She sighs, resting her hands on her hips. "More than I thought. I rented a storage unit the other day so that I"m not taking up too much room in your house."

"Just remember," I remind her. "It"s not even a full house. It"s a duplex and Barrett lives next door. It"s not as small as this apartment, but it"s not big, either."

"We"ll figure out what all I"ll actually bring in as we go." She runs a hand through her hair. "Right now I"m just going to bring my clothes, makeup, and all that stuff. All of my furniture, except for my desk, is going to storage. Is my desk still okay?"

"Yeah, there"s an empty room. Whatever you can fit in there, go for it." I look around at all her boxes. "But it ain"t gonna fit all of this."

She laughs. "I know, trust me, I know. I"ve lived here a few years, so I"ve accumulated a lot of stuff. Most of it, I probably need to go through and declutter. I"m sure everyone needs to do that once in a while."

I agree with her, but the truth is I don"t. My house still looks like I just moved in. She"s in for a surprise when she walks in. I"ve never been the type of person to care about personal possessions, especially given how I grew up. I"ve allowed that to follow me in my life. I use what I use, and I need what I need. I try not to be emotionally attached to anything at all. The only thing that anyone has been able to hold over my head? The Hamilton Foundation, and we all know how that"s working out. "Yeah, I"m sure they do."

"So what are you really doing here, Jasper?"

I sigh heavily, running my hand through my hair. "I met with my grandfather this morning, and we had an annoying conversation about the foundation. He delighted in telling me what he"s holding over my head."

She tilts her head to the side. "I"m sorry, and I assume that has to do with this marriage?"

"Yeah. He"s always been a son-of-a-bitch, but I didn"t expect for him to take such pleasure in this. I mean, that was his daughter who died. He lost someone, too, but he acts like he didn"t. It"s as if she didn"t mean anything to him." I try to keep the emotion out of my voice. "When she meant everything to me."