Chapter Twenty

"Why are you being such a dick?" I grunt as I press the weights above my head.

"Because you act like you have a corncob stuck up your ass this morning." Barrett fires back, standing with his arms crossed, not spotting me like he should be. "You"re in a piss poor mood."

I roll my eyes and heave the bar up onto the stand. "I"m not in a piss poor mood. I just didn"t sleep well last night." All because I didn"t make a move on my wife. I had fully planned on it, but when we"d gotten home, I was annoyed at having been forced into an evening with my grandfather.

Something about fucking her after being with him tainted the plans I had. Daisy had looked disappointed when I hadn"t touched her. Part of me felt like an ass, the other part knew it was the right decision to make, even if it wasn"t the easy one.

"How was last night?" he asks as we switch places.

Nolan comes over, along with Abel. "What happened last night?" Abel asks, before taking a huge gulp from his water bottle. The plastic crinkles and it"s louder than it should be in the gym.

"My grandfather requested mine and Daisy"s presence at his house last night for a dinner. We went. End of story."

Nolan shakes his head. "Ah, ah, ah. I had a couple of friends who were there last night. They said something about you parading your wife around in front of old Tom"s face. Word had it he was almost red as a fuckin" stop sign. So don"t act like all you did was go. You made a statement, and I"m fuckin" proud of you."

I"ve never been especially close to Nolan. He"s a part of our group, but he and I haven"t been as good of friends as I have with the other guys. Hearing that, though? It puts a warmth in my stomach. "Thanks. I appreciate it. He can make all the demands he wants to. Doesn"t mean I have to follow them to the letter. The quicker he learns that the better off we all will be."

"What about the whole baby thing?" Abel asks. "Have you gotten started on that yet?"

"Well, if everyone didn"t know about it yet, they do now." I groan. "Thanks for that."

Weston whistles between his teeth, and Boone, who"s joined us today, raises an eyebrow. Neither of them knew about those stipulations, and now I"m going to have to tell them. "Let me catch everyone up because that one has a big fucking mouth," I say, flipping a middle finger at Abel. "There are things we have to accomplish in order to get my grandfather to continue with the Hamilton Foundation. A couple were getting married and having a child. I got the marriage, now we"ve got to produce the child."

"That"s fucked up." Nolan scratches at the back of his neck. "I"m sorry. I might give you shit, but this is unhinged."

"It is what it is. If I want to keep my parents" legacy alive, it"s what I have to do." I don"t want to have to explain to them how much that means to me.

"Is there anything we can do?" Boone asks. "That would help you?"

"I mean I"m the one who"s going to have to create the child, old man. Can"t ask you to do that for me." I smirk, chuckling slightly as Boone flips me off.

"You know what I mean, shit head."

The offer causes my throat to tighten. If there"s one man who has done his best to make up for the fact that I lost my father at such a young age, it"s been Boone. I"ve been beyond blessed. "I do. Maybe a family dinner? I haven"t always been the man that Daisy deserves..."

"Daisy?" he interrupts. "College Daisy?"

"Yeah," Abel answers for me. "College Daisy. He"s got himself int a sit-u-ation."

"You need to shut your mouth." I point over at him. "Nobody asked for your opinion."

Boone waves off his son, strolls over, and puts his arm around my neck. "Let"s take a walk."

A warmth settles in my stomach. This is one of the first times I feel like I"m going to have a father son talk with anyone. I react the way I normally do, with slight anger to protect my feelings. "If you"re going to tell me I"m wrong, don"t bother."

"I"m not." He takes us to where there"s a table set up on the outside of the workout area, and we have a seat. "What I want to make sure is that someone has checked on you, that they"re making sure you"re okay."

I do what I always do and deflect. "No one has to make sure I"m okay. I always am."

"No, you"re not." He smiles softly. "You"re not okay half the time you say you are. I understand why you act like you are, but you"re safe with us. You can be vulnerable, that"s what we"re here for. Now don"t lie to me, how are you?"

I roll the question around in my mind, not sure if I should be honest, or if I should say what I think he wants to hear. Then I realize this is Boone; he"s never judged me - even when it would"ve been easier to do so. "I"m surviving, but it"s hard. I never expected to share my life with someone. Losing my parents hurt."

"Losing anyone hurts, Jasper. I can"t imagine you being as young as you were, and it happening the way it did for you." Boone gives me a small smile. It"s more comforting than I remember any of the others being.

"And I was still hurt." I remember, thinking back to that time. "I was in a cast for eight weeks, completely through Christmas."

"I can"t imagine that you have any good memories."

"Not of Christmas," I confirm. "The ones I do have are of hanging out with your family and when the guys and I have gotten together. But going back to getting married. I never wanted to care about someone as much as I cared about my parents again. When I was a child, it was hard, I can"t imagine how it would be as an adult. Thomas did it because he knew how scared I"ve been my entire life about losing someone else who"s close to me."

"What a fucking dick."

"Yeah," I agree. "Daisy, though, is special. She always has been. I knew in high school, and then in college, that she was end game for me. That"s why I pushed her away."

"Let me tell you from someone who pushed away a lot of good women, but finally found the one I didn"t want to push away, it"s going to be worth it."

I swallow hard, trying not to show the emotion that"s building. "But will it really be worth it when I end up completely losing her?"

"Jasper, that"s your fear talking, not reality. She said yes and married you, even after you pushed her away. What does that say about her?"

"That"s she"s a glutton for punishment and doesn"t have the good sense God gave her to give up on me?" I shrug.

"One more question, and then I"ll leave you alone about all of this. Is she home to you?"

I flinch, not sure what he"s asking. "What do you mean?"

"How do you feel when she"s around?"

I"ve never thought about any of this, even when we were together before, because I didn"t want to be dependent on another person. To me that"s always seemed like such a weakness, which is why I made her leave me before. If I depended on her any more than I already was, I wasn"t sure I"d be able to look myself in the mirror and be honest. I"d cared about two people so much earlier in my life that as a little kid losing them had broken me. I promised myself as I got older I would never.

"Jesus Christ, kid. Stop being so serious. Go have fun, go laugh, go fuck her, and don"t think about the rest of this shit." He pushes against the table. "And don"t come back until you"ve done all of that." With those words he stands and goes back to the guys.

For a few moments, I sit here, contemplating what he"s said. The pressure and realization that I won"t have forever with Daisy sinks in. For the first time in years, it dawns on me that tomorrow isn"t promised. That my parents didn"t start the day of the accident with thoughts of their lives being finite. They more than likely believed they had years, that they were going to grow old together and sit on their porch and watch the world go by. They"ll never get that chance. I have it, but I"ve been too goddamn stubborn to take it. Pushing my chair back, I get up and head out, phone in hand, texting Daisy.