Chapter Nineteen

I"ve never felt so out of place in my life as we enter through the foyer. Jasper"s hand is strong against my back, as he pushes me into the throng of people. Many are smiling at him and asking how he"s doing. Jasper isn"t comfortable, either. It"s in the way he"s half-answering, and not really paying attention to what is going on around him.

I"m trying to take it all in. This is the type of house I always thought I"d love when I was little, but now I get what Jasper"s been saying. It"s cold, and barren. There isn"t a feeling of home here.

"That was the first thing I saw when I walked in as a kid." He bends down to talk in my ear.

I look where his finger is pointing, and I see a staircase that looks as if it"s a replica from the one on the Titanic. Which is fitting since that ship sank spectacularly. That"s exactly how I feel right now, as if I"m on a ship that"s sinking, and there"s nothing that"s going to keep it from being a disaster. "It had to be intimidating."

"It was. I wanted to run back outside and yell at God. Ask him why I was being punished like that. For a while I thought it was because I hadn"t cleaned my room or eaten my vegetables like I was supposed to. I said these stupid prayers. That I would do all of it the way I should"ve if he"d bring my parents back."

Hearing him admit all of this breaks my heart. I"m not sure if he realizes just how much insight he"s giving me to the man he is, or if he really needs to talk about it. Either way I"m listening. I don"t dare stop the outpouring; this is what I"ve wanted for so long. "I think we all make deals with the higher power when our hearts are broken and our lives change in ways we can"t fathom before it happens."

He rocks back on his heels, one hand stuffed in his pocket, the other one still on my back. "It didn"t work anyway. Never has. When I lost you, I knew better than to ask for another chance. I still don"t know why you said yes."

I fight against wanting to lie, to keep my feelings out of the deal we have between us, but I"m too far gone now. "I said yes because I wanted to. Because that"s what I wanted when we were together previously. I can see beyond the attitude you put up like a shield of armor. It"s there, but you let it down every so often. I know myself better now than I did back then, and I know what I can stand."

"You deserve more than I can give you," he whispers, his eyes boring into mine.

"Why don"t you let me worry about what I deserve, Jasper. I"m a big girl, I can handle it." There"s a freedom in standing up for myself in a way I hadn"t before. I"m stronger than I was back then, better able to deal with my feelings, and going into this with my eyes wide open. "Now, let"s go find your grandfather. Us slinking around this room isn"t doing anything. We need to face this head on."

A smile spreads across his face, that fire lighting his eyes up. "I like the sound of that. Let"s hunt him, instead of him hunting us."

"Yeah. We"re stronger together than we ever were apart, Hamilton. After everything we"ve been through, that"s the one thing I"ll never forget."

He trails his hand along my waist, moving it down so that he can grip my fingers with his. "Let"s do this, Hamilton." He gives me a wink as he mentions my new last name.

The confidence that shines through in those words is enough to put a smile across my face, too, and the fact that we're doing this together, as if we"re taking on the world as one. It"s an awesome feeling to have, especially with this man who"s made it so hard to get to know him. We travel through the room, stopping here and there to say hi to people he knows. He introduces me to a few. "How do you choose who to introduce me to?" I ask as we leave a conversation.

"They"re all people who"ve been nice to me before. So, if they"ve been nice to me, then they deserve to know my wife."

My cheeks heat. He might not be able to put his feelings into words, but these actions? Holy shit. "Good to know." I lift up on my tiptoes and drop a kiss on his chin.

He steers me over to where two men are standing. Immediately the temperature goes down by twenty degrees and his hold on me tightens. "Thomas." He nods to the older of the two men. "I"d like you to finally meet my wife."

This is his grandfather. They look so much alike it"s as if I"m looking at a picture of Jasper in forty years. Only he doesn"t have kind eyes, and the smarmy smirk on his face is enough to send a shiver down my back. "Jasper, as you can see, I"m having a conversation." His gaze flits over to the other man he was speaking to.

Jasper ignores him. "You"ve requested our presence, you wanted to meet her. You"ve got both. Not everything can be on your time, or at your convenience."

Pride rises in my gut as I listen to the two of them. I don"t know how Jasper dealt with this man when he was younger, but I love the fierceness in his tone and the no-bullshit way he"s standing his ground now. "Nice to meet you." I give him a little finger wave. "I"ve heard so much about you."

"All of it good, I hope." He winks.

My smile doesn"t waver. "None of it has been good."

Jasper chokes back a laugh. "Isn"t she cute? I knew you"d love her. If you"ll excuse us, we"re gonna go find our seats for dinner. I"m starving, and we need our energy for later tonight. There is still that stipulation that we have to continue the Hamilton line."

The older man looks like he"s going to blow a fuse, but before he can say anything, Jasper turns me around with his hand on the small of my back and we head toward what looks like a dining hall. "This is the dining room?" I question. "It"s as big as what we ate at in college."

"Yeah, it"s ridiculous. Along with most everything else in this house. He feels like the bigger things are, the more successful he appears. Both of us know that"s not the case, but he will never be convinced of it. We should sit here." He points to a couple of chairs in the middle of the table. "We wanna be right where he can see us but not too close so that he can't talk to us."

I"m on board with him sticking it to his grandfather, but I also don"t want to anger him. "Let"s not throw it in his face so much that he"s going to be gunning for us, Jasper. I want to give him a taste of his own medicine, but not at the expense of us."

He seems to think about what I"ve said. "You"re right. I have to stop living my life to spite his. I need to start living it in spite of what he"s done to make all of it difficult."

My shoulders relax and a smile works its way across my face. "Yeah, in the end we"re the two people who are going to be living these lives and be happy in them, Jasper. Regardless of whether he approves or not, we still have to be able to live with ourselves."

"He has to approve. If he doesn"t, the foundation ceases to exist. Do you realize how much that means to me?" He runs a finger along my jawline, tilting my chin so that we"re looking at one another.

Anxiety causes my hands to shake slightly, and a dropping of my stomach. I"m about to say something the old me would never have said. She wouldn"t have rocked the boat, and definitely wouldn"t have wanted Jasper angry with her, but new Daisy needs him to hear what she"s saying. She needs him to know how broken she"ll be. "I get it. I do, and I realize that I agreed to help you with this, but I don"t want to be reminded all the time of what your end goal is. Not because I don"t want to be a part of it with you, but because I don"t want to feel like I"m bought and paid for."

His dark eyes darken further. "You"re not bought and paid for."

"I know, and I want to make sure I feel that way all the time." I swallow roughly, hoping to convey how much this means to me.

Jasper grabs hold of my arm, turns me around to face him and digs his free hand into my hair, holding me still. "You"re never anything less than everything, Daisy Mae. I"ve never meant to make you feel anything other than the most important person in my life." His voice is low and deep, full of emotion. His eyes are bright, my chest tightens as I realize what he"s said.

"You"re the most important person in my life, too. Let"s get this dinner over with and head home, huh?"

He smiles, shoulders relaxing. "Sounds good to me."