23. Lexi

23

LEXI

In just under an hour, my long-time dream of dating Noah Taylor would be over. I knew this day would come eventually, but now that it was here, I wanted to tell it to go away. I'd never dated anyone before—this fake-dating experience was all that I had, but I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. In fact, if I had the option to fake-date Noah or date Harrison for real, I'd pick the fake. It had been one of the craziest, but also one of the best weeks of my life.

When I entered the lunchroom, Noah was already sitting at our table. He must have been watching for me because as soon as I looked at him, he smiled and waved. My heart squeezed in my chest. He was smiling at me .

I forced myself to walk at a regular pace, though all I wanted to do was run to him so that I could have just a few more seconds to bask in what it was like to be Noah's girlfriend.

He pulled the chair next to him out for me.

"Hey," he said, smiling as I took my seat.

"Hi," I said, scooting closer. We still had a few more minutes. It would be okay for me to glue myself to his side, right?

"Do you want to eat lunch before we go somewhere and pretend to break up?" he asked.

My stomach was all tied up in knots. I didn't think I would be able to eat even if I tried. "I'm not really that hungry today," I said.

"Okay, let's just go now then. I have something I wanted to talk to you about, anyway."

Noah took my hand and led me from the cafeteria. He intertwined his fingers with mine, squeezing my hand. I was going to miss this so much.

We bumped into Easton on our way.

"Hey, where are you two going?" he asked, his expression darkening when his gaze flicked down to our entwined hands.

Noah stepped closer to Easton and bent his head down to speak in a lowered voice. "We're going to the auditorium to 'break up.'" He held one hand up to make air quotes.

"Ah, gotcha." Easton gave us a knowing look. "Well, make sure you don't take too long because I want to talk to you about your plans for tonight."

"Will do." Noah nodded.

Soon he was pulling me away with him to the auditorium's back entrance that led to the stage. "They sometimes leave this unlocked." He gripped the handle and pulled. And just like he had suggested, the door opened right up. It was pretty dark when we stepped inside, just a couple of emergency lights on in the back.

"Should we just sit right here?" Noah pointed to the stairs that led down from the stage.

"Sure." I sat down on the first step.

I looked at the rows of red cushioned seats as Noah lowered himself next to me, and I couldn't help but have a sense of déjà vu.

"This kind of reminds me of our first date," I said.

Noah glanced around as he tugged on his pant legs to get better situated on the step. "Yeah, it kind of does."

It was crazy how much had happened since he'd saved me at the movie theater.

I put my hands in my lap, wondering what he needed to talk to me about.

After a brief pause, he said, "So, my mom called me this morning during second period."

"She did?" I asked.

He nodded. "Yeah, she left me a message since I couldn't answer it during class, but it turns out my dad did call her last night. She just didn't get his message until this morning. I snuck out of class early to listen to what she had to say, since I was worried something might have happened with her and Paul."

"Nothing happened, right?" I couldn't imagine always worrying the way Noah had to.

He shook his head. "No, she actually told me to come home. So, looks like I won't need to sleep in your closet again tonight."

While I was happy that he was able to go home and not live like a homeless teenager anymore, I couldn't help but feel disappointed over not having him to myself for a few more hours. Once we left this auditorium it would really be all over.

"I'm glad you get to go home."

There was a question in his eyes. "You don't sound happy."

I shrugged and looked at my hands. "No, I'm happy you can go home." I peeked up at him. "Really." I sighed. "I just— Would it be so bad if I admitted that I've kind of liked hanging out with you this week? Once we go back to the lunchroom, everything will go back to the way it was before. You'll go back to just being Easton's friend. And I'll go back to being Easton's little sister."

"And you don't like that idea?" He studied me carefully .

Just tell him you don't want to break up. Don't let him get away like you do with everything else in your life.

Tell him you want him for real.

I swallowed, trying to get up the nerve. But when I looked at him I knew it was pointless. He was Noah and I was Lexi. He was everything I wanted in a guy while I couldn't even hope to be on his radar. The only reason why he was talking to me right now was because I was his best friend's sister. If we hadn't had a mutual connection to Easton, there was no way he would’ve ever noticed me. He went for the gorgeous girls: the Ashlyns and Ravens of the world. He didn't go for the band geeks.

"It's probably for the best. I mean, it was already absurd tricking people into thinking we would actually work out for a whole week. I'm sure everyone will be relieved to see that the world has finally righted itself. Popular people hanging out with popular people. Nerds with nerds."

"Do you really think I'm that shallow?" he asked.

I shrugged. "Since when have you ever dated a girl like me before?"

He opened his mouth but nothing came out. And I knew it was because he couldn't think of one single time.

"It's okay, Noah. We all have our types." I always went for the unattainable guys. He always got the girl.

"Do you remember what I told you a couple of nights ago?" he finally asked.

I tried to remember a specific thing that stood out. "Can you give me a hint? We've had so many conversations this week that it's hard to know which one you're referring to."

"It was when you were accusing me of only liking mainstream girls. It seems to be a revolving theme when it comes to how you see me."

Because he'd never given me a reason to think otherwise. Yes, we'd had that moment in my bedroom last night. But now that I'd had more time to think about it, I realized that it was only because he'd been so overcome with emotion because of everything with his dad and the cold outside—he'd momentarily confused his feelings of gratefulness for actual desire for me.

We wouldn't even be having this conversation in the auditorium right now if he ever had actual feelings for me. He wouldn't have suggested we break up right after the almost-kiss. He must have realized that he was leading me on, so breaking up was the best way to put a stop to it.

I should probably be thanking him right now for saving me from my crazy notions of us actually working out in real life.

I decided to let the subject drop. This way, neither of us would be tempted to say something we'd regret later.

I sighed. "Well, do you think we should get back to the cafeteria?" Easton was ready to get his friend back.

"If you think that's best," he said .

If I thought that was best? What did he mean by that? This was our plan, wasn't it?

"Would it be so bad if I tell you that I'm having second thoughts about this whole thing?" he asked.

I looked into his eyes, not sure I'd heard him right. In them, I found a vulnerability I hadn't seen before.

"You are?" I asked, my voice coming out in a whisper.

He shook his head slightly and bit his lip. "I don't know, Lexi. This week..." He trailed off, not finishing his sentence.

I really wanted him to finish that sentence.

This week what? What was he going to say?

I waited. I would hear him out. I would make him say what he was going to say. I needed to know.

But Noah just stared at me. He reached over and pushed some hair behind my ear, his warm touch causing a rush of heat to flush on my face and neck. Then his hand ran along my shoulder again, just like it had last night. And I was instantly transported back to my room. The look in his eyes. The unfiltered desire. I’d been sure he was going to kiss me, until he turned around and suggested we break up today.

But could it have actually been real?

He swallowed, his Adam's apple shifting. He was nervous...

He sighed, looked down, and then looked back at me, his eyes seeming to search my soul. "There's this one last thing I want to do."

But before I could find out what that one last thing was, the door creaked open behind us and Easton poked his head inside.

Of course. My brother or my dad were always there to make sure I never even had a chance at romance.

"Hey, are you two done breaking up yet? I wanted to talk to you before Raven did."

Irritation flashed on Noah's face before he blinked it away and turned to my brother.

"Yeah, we were just finishing up," Noah called. Then he stood and offered his hand to help me up as well. It was probably the last time I'd ever be this close to Noah Taylor. "Are you ready to face everyone then?" Noah asked.

"You guys go ahead first. It’ll probably be more believable if we don't walk in together."

He rubbed his thumb across the back of my knuckles. "You're probably right." Then he let go and stuffed his fingers in his pockets. "Well, it's been a fun week. I'm sure we'll still see each other around."

Why did he have to make it sound like we were saying goodbye?

Probably because it really did feel like a goodbye. Goodbye to all my hopes and dreams ever coming true where we were concerned. After today, he'd probably forget all about this week.

"I'll see you around. Good luck with your Mom today. I really am happy you get to go home."

He nodded. "Thanks, Lexi. I couldn't have made it through this week without you."

Right as he was about to leave me, he hesitated and leaned closer, pulling me in for one last hug. And I couldn't help but melt against him. I really liked Noah. I knew he wasn't perfect. I knew he had his own faults. But for the past week, he had been mine, and he'd made me feel special. I'd never had a guy pay attention to me before, and I didn't know if I'd ever have something like that again.

He spoke in a low voice beside my ear. "I hope you find what you're looking for, Lexi. You're an amazing girl and any guy would be lucky to have you." Then he kissed me gently on the cheek. Before I could respond, he disappeared out the door to join Easton in the hall, and I just stood there frozen in shock with my fingers touching the place he'd kissed me.