24. Noah

24

NOAH

I walked back to the lunchroom with Easton, cursing myself the whole time for being such a chicken. I should have told Lexi that I didn't want to break up. But of course, like every other good thing in my life, I was practically pushing her away.

I needed to stop sabotaging myself.

But what was done was done. And my week with Lexi was over. Now it was back to reality.

Along our way, Mercedes stopped Easton, so I went ahead to grab my lunch, and then I took a seat at my regular table, hating the fact that the chair next to me was empty and would remain empty.

"Where's Lexi?" Raven asked after looking around for her.

I ripped a piece off my roll. "We broke up."

"You broke up?" Raven's jaw dropped, and she actually did look surprised. Maybe we really had been convincing to people.

"Yep." I stuffed a piece of roll in my mouth, so I wouldn't have to say anything more. I really didn't feel like talking about it right now. It was crazy that even though our entire relationship had been fake, I felt even worse than I had when Luke and Ashlyn had started dating.

It would seem that I'd finally found a way to move on.

Raven pushed her tray closer to mine, and then moved her chair closer as well. "Why did you break up? When she first walked in here today, I was watching you. I’ve never seen you look at a girl like that before. It was like you were in love or something."

She'd seen that in my face?

That couldn't be good. I couldn't be in love with Lexi. She was my best friend's sister. There wasn't a chance at a future with her.

"Was she the one to break up with you?" Raven pressed when I didn't say anything.

Just then, Lexi walked into the room with her tray. I watched her as she walked past my table, and my heart blipped in my chest at the sight of her. She was scanning the room for a place to sit, and I remembered that earlier this week, she’d said something about not having a regular lunch table ever since her friend went away .

Maybe I should leave, so she could at least sit with her brother?

But then she moved in the opposite direction, toward a table full of kids that I recognized from the band and they made room for her. I sighed, relieved she wouldn't have to eat alone.

"Earth to Noah." Raven's voice interrupted my thoughts.

I shook my head. "Sorry, what did you ask again?"

She rolled her eyes. "I asked who did the breaking? You or her?"

"It was mutual."

"Certainly doesn't look that way."

And boy was she right. I could barely keep my eyes off Lexi. My heart pounded in my ears when Lexi glanced at me over her shoulder. Was she telling everyone at her table then?

I blinked my eyes shut. Get yourself together, Noah. This is going just the way you planned it.

Except for the fact that I thought it was about the stupidest plan I'd ever come up with.

Easton, who had been talking to Mercedes, finally made it back to our table.

"What did I miss?" He scooted his chair up and opened a carton of milk.

"Noah and your sister broke up," Raven said .

Easton raised his eyebrows, playing his part of being surprised surprisingly well. "Oh, that's too bad."

I shook my head and laughed despite how sad I was feeling. "You know you're happy about that. You never were excited about me and your sister dating in the first place."

Easton smiled. "Yeah, it was weird. Just imagine how happy my dad will be when he finds out." He winked.

"Well, considering he already threatened to ground both of you from seeing me this week, I'd say he'll be happy to know that your sister won't be spending much time alone with me anymore." Yet another reason why it could never work out between Lexi and me. Mr. Stevens would probably lock her up if he had any idea of half the things I'd done with his daughter this week.

I stabbed a meatball with my fork. I needed to talk about something else. Anything that would keep my mind off the fact that I could never have a future with Lexi.

"So you wanted to talk to me about something?" I asked Easton.

He wiped his mouth with his arm after downing his whole carton of milk. "Yeah, I was hoping that since you won't be sitting with Lexi at the game tonight that you might want to sit with me. And then afterwards, I was thinking it might be fun to hang out in my hot tub and catch up. It seems like I've barely spent any time with you lately "

"Sure. That sounds fun."

"Great."

The rest of the school day, people bombarded me with questions about why Lexi and I broke up. I mumbled vague responses such as how we just weren't meant to be. Or how it was too weird with Easton. But I could tell people thought my answers were weird. I'd probably have been able to think of much better reasons for our "break-up" if there had actually been problems between us. As it was, all I could think of were all the reasons why we should still be together.

I drove home, to my actual home, after school. I parked out front and just sat in my car for a while, trying to figure out how I should act. My mom had let Paul kick me out—that wasn't something I could just forgive and forget about, was it?

But she also hadn't known about where I would be staying. So I grabbed my duffel bag before I could overthink things too much and went inside.

"Noah." My mom stood from where she'd been working on her computer when she saw me come in.

"Hi, Mom."

When she held her arms out to me, I gave her a quick hug .

"It's so good to see you." Her smile was more forced than usual, and I knew she was trying to make up for the past week.

I decided not to make things too hard for her, so instead of throwing in a snide remark like I would have a year ago, I said, "It's good to see you, too. Is Brielle home?"

I looked around, anxious for my little sister to be here—she could help bounce some of this awkwardness away.

"She doesn't get off the bus for another thirty minutes. But she'll be so excited to see you. She's been asking when you're coming home all week."

I had missed my sister. She was probably the main reason why I felt comfortable coming back here. If not for her, I'd probably find a job and get a place of my own.

"Did Paul hear back about his job yesterday?" I asked, watching my mom closely for any signs of distress.

Her expression fell. "Not yet. We thought he'd know by now, but his boss wanted another day to consider the candidates. We should know by five, though."

I nodded. "That's good. I hope for everyone's sake that it's good news."

I didn't miss the flash of anxiety in my mom's eyes. "I hope so, too."

Would she leave him if he acted out again? Was she worried that if he did get the job, it wouldn't be the magical fix his temper needed to keep from hurting her?

She went into the kitchen to fill a glass with water. "Anyway, we're planning to go out to dinner tonight once we find out the news. Would you like to join us?"

I set my duffel bag on a stool at the bar and grabbed a bottle of Coke from the cupboard. I twisted the cap off. "Easton and I are going to the game tonight and then hot tubbing. But you have fun without me."

I knew it was probably bad of me to turn down her offer, especially after the past week, but I really didn't want to sit down at a table across from Paul after he'd kicked me out. We didn't need a waitress picking up on the vibes I'd be sending. I wasn't nearly as good at hiding my frustration with my stepdad as my mom was.

"Well, we'll miss you. Brielle especially." My mom's shoulders slumped, and I felt a stab of guilt pass through me.

I turned the cap back on my soda after taking a long pull on it. "How about I take Brielle sledding tomorrow?"

Mom's face brightened. "She'd love that, Noah. That's a great idea!"

I lifted my bag back onto my shoulder, ready to head up to my room and get everything put away. But just before I turned the corner, my mom stopped me.

"And Noah," she said. I turned to her, my heart splitting at the look of pain on her face. "I really am sorry that you had to sleep in your car this week. I had no idea. If I'd known, I would have brought you back home myself."

I nodded, feeling a wave of emotion about to come over me. I cleared my throat, hoping my voice wouldn't come out sounding too wobbly. "It's okay, Mom. I survived."

"I know. I just feel bad that it happened in the first place."

I adjusted the shoulder strap on my bag. "It's okay. Just promise me there won't be a reason for it to happen again, okay?"

She looked down at her hands. "Okay."