18. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

A s I draped my legs over Verner's thighs, really putting myself on display, though fortunately there was no one in front of me, I wasn't entirely sure how we'd gotten here but I wasn't upset in the least that this was where we'd ended up.

Well, I was upset that Verner had nearly died. I hadn't even considered whether he was at full strength before we'd left for the human realm, and how taxing it would be on him to make the journey.

"I'm sorry I nearly killed you," I breathed, which wasn't the sexiest thing to say while I was circling my clit with my middle finger, but what did I know about being sexy, honestly?

My hand was still faintly sticky from Verner's cum, and the reminder made my pussy ache . It wasn't like I never experienced arousal—I definitely did, and I always took care of it myself. But it was never like this. Never this all-encompassing, never this fierce . Like if I didn't come, I might actually perish.

"Don't think about that," Verner murmured, squeezing me gently as I arched back against him. "Think about how good you feel right now."

I hummed in agreement, though I was struck with the faint urge to tell him off for being bossy. Whether it was the need for control or just a kink, I wasn't sure. But I wanted to be in charge.

"I do feel very good," I whispered, sliding my finger inside me to drag my wetness up to my clit. The sound it made was sexy and appalling all at once. Verner had seemed to think that it was normal, but I was still a little alarmed by this new development in my anatomy. Then I remembered how thick and firm his knot had felt under my hand, and decided not to judge it too hastily.

"I'm desperate to taste you," Verner rasped, his voice low and needy in my ear.

"Next time," I replied breathily, not feeling quite confident enough for that. "Is there going to be a next time?"

"Meera, my love," he whispered, holding me a little closer. "Haven't you realized yet that I adore you? Whenever you want me, I am yours."

I came with a soft cry, biting down on my lower lip to try contain the sound. Touching myself had felt good, but hearing those words had felt so much better. It seemed stupid in hindsight that I hadn't told him how I'd felt about him earlier. That I'd waited until we were in the human realm where he couldn't even reply to me.

"Someone's coming," Verner said suddenly, scrambling to his feet and hauling me up with him. I snatched the clothes I'd shed hastily, and suddenly we were moving as Verner dragged us back through the in-between, into the parked van.

I landed with a thud on the ground, my bare ass hitting the cold floor. While I was glad we hadn't been caught, it was a pretty abrupt end to my orgasm.

Verner hovered, his arms around me as though he was still holding me in his physical embrace, and I burst out laughing, hoping he saw humor in our precarious situation too.

"We didn't think this through at all," I giggled, high off orgasms, half naked, and a sticky mess. It was also a lot colder here, and my sweatshirt was now covered in Shade cum. The way Verner was drifting back and forth made me wonder if he was fretting about it—it was difficult to tell with just the vaguest inclination of body language to go on.

"It's fine. I've got this," I assured him. The van wasn't entirely empty—Harlow had mentioned that she occasionally had to do some long-distance drives for the Hunters, and I dug through a duffel bag and the supplies tucked into the wall storage with a silent apology to her for rifling through her stuff.

Between the bottled water, wet wipes, and a travel-sized pack of tissues, I was able to somewhat get myself cleaned up and dressed, but I was still shivering in my t-shirt and there was no hope for the sweatshirt.

There was a waterproof jacket scrunched up in the bottom of the bag, and I pulled it on reluctantly, tugging at the hem. It was much smaller and tighter than the kind of thing I usually wore, but it did fit.

"We should get this over with," I told Verner shakily. "I don't even know how long we've been parked here. We've probably drawn attention to ourselves already. You're going to have to wait here—there are streetlights outside, and the house will have lights on in every room. Obviously, I'd prefer you go back home because it's safer for you there, but I get the feeling that you're not going to do that."

Verner drifted closer, slowly and intentionally shaking his head. The shadowy hood moved from side to side.

"Didn't think so. Okay, stay here. I'll be back soon."

I carefully let myself out of the van, squeezing through the narrowest gap possible to avoid letting any light in, and locking it behind me.

It was a short walk from where I'd parked to my mother's house, and I was immediately struck by how unchanged the single-family home I'd grown up in looked from the outside. The street lamps illuminated the low chain-link fence out front that had been out of shape when we'd moved in and had clearly never been fixed. The clay-brown paneling that covered the exterior was in need of a good clean, just like it had been on the day I'd been kicked out. From here, the house looked dark and still because—like all good Hunters—Mom had put up blackout blinds so the fact that the house was constantly illuminated on the inside wouldn't attract attention from the neighbors.

Standing out here made me feel like a kid again. A tired kid, with too much responsibility—getting off the school bus each afternoon to somehow do my homework while helping Latika with hers, making her dinner, and getting her ready for bed. And then making sure the house was in perfect order, because I did whatever I could to alleviate my mother's stress in the hopes that maybe it would improve her mood. That maybe she'd come home and be happy to see us for once.

There was no car in the driveway, which used to indicate with absolute certainty that Mom wasn't home, but I wasn't as confident of that now. Latika was grown—maybe she was the one who'd taken the car. Or maybe she didn't live here at all, though I couldn't imagine her moving out before she was married if she was still in Mom's good graces.

Everything was familiar and foreign all at once.

I walked toward the house as though I belonged there in case any of the neighbors were watching, veering left at the last second to make my way around the side of the house. Would there be security cameras now? I kept looking, but as far as I could tell, I couldn't see any.

The window in the laundry had never latched properly, and with a little jiggling, it could be opened from the outside. I'd never brought it up with Mom, because I'd always used it as a way to get in the house after school if I'd forgotten my keys, but I assumed that Latika would have told her at some point since then. Still, it was worth a shot.

My nails bent and protested as I pried away at the window, but it moved exactly the same way I remembered it, coming free with just a little wiggling.

This was definitely too easy. I didn't trust it.

Surely enough, the first real challenge came in the form of actually getting inside the window. I was definitely heavier than I'd been at seventeen, and apparently I'd lost all of my upper-body strength at some point since then too. By the time I'd hefted myself up and climbed awkwardly over the basin, I'd kicked on a tap and knocked over a bottle of fabric softener. There was nothing stealthy about it.

You're here now, I told myself sternly. Too late to turn back .

The house was silent as I crept out into the hallway, grateful that the ancient carpet disguised my footsteps. The room Latika and I had once shared was at the end of the corridor, and my heart pounded in my chest with each step I took toward it.

"You can't be here."

I startled, spinning around to find my sister staring at me, a hard look on her face. Gone was the baby-faced teenager Latika had been when I'd last seen her. She looked older now. Wiser. More jaded.

We looked more similar now than we'd ever looked as children, though she wore her hair shorter and was far more toned than I'd ever been.

"How are you, Latika?"

Her expression flickered slightly, but it was only the briefest moment of hesitation before she shored herself up again. "Why are you breaking into the house, Meera?"

"I need to collect some things I left behind."

She scoffed. "It's been eight years. Your stuff was thrown out the day after you left."

"I doubt you would have found this."

Latika narrowed her eyes. "It doesn't matter. You have to leave. I'll be nice and let you walk out the door. Mom will be home soon, and she won't be so friendly about it."

I looked at my sister for a long moment, trying to find something in her that I recognized. This had been the worst-case scenario that I'd been preparing myself for. The perfect little Hunter robot who never put a toe out of line because she'd probably been traumatized with stories about my fate.

And even if Mom had never mentioned me at all, which was a distinct possibility, Latika would have felt my absence. She'd been the spirited, rebellious second child to my responsible and obedient eldest daughter once upon a time. Undoubtedly, some of that responsibility had fallen on her shoulders after I'd left.

"Look, I understand that you don't want to see me. I know I shouldn't be here, and that I'm putting you in a difficult position. I wouldn't have risked it if it wasn't important, Latika."

She stared, her throat working hard as she swallowed. My baby sister was in there somewhere, locked away behind protective walls of her own making. That was something I recognized.

"Did you go to the shadow realm?" Latika asked quietly. "With the others? No one will tell me the truth. No one talks about you at all."

"Yes, I did."

She grimaced, looking away. "You're ruined then."

I snorted, remembering that I probably still had some Shade cum sticking to my skin despite my best attempts to clean myself up. She had no idea.

"No, Latika. You're ruined if you truly believe that poison. I feel very sorry for you, and I hope you recover from the sickness that has infected your mind."

Her face flushed.

"Do you remember who I told you to avoid before I left?" I asked coolly, some of my affection for my sister being replaced by annoyance. Latika nodded, looking away. "And did you do as I asked?"

She nodded again, shifting her weight uncomfortably from one foot to the other. "Yes."

"Good. I'm sure your teenage years were much more pleasant than mine then. And you didn't have a kid to raise. Aren't you lucky?" I snarked, a little of the bitterness I'd been carrying around creeping out. I turned away, striding purposefully toward the end room and throwing open the door.

It was jarring to see an adult-sized bed in the middle of the room rather than the bunk beds against the wall that we'd shared back then, though it shouldn't have been. After taking a moment to orient myself, I headed for the sliding closet doors, pushing them open and tossing Latika's shoes back into the bedroom behind me to clear the floor.

I could feel Latika standing behind me, but she didn't say anything. Perhaps I'd shocked her into silence.

The ancient carpet came up easily in the corner of the closet, though it probably hadn't been touched since I'd last moved it, and the loose floorboards beneath it were exactly the way I'd left them. It was no coincidence that this hiding spot was here. Randal Jackman had given me very specific instructions on what to do all those years ago.

Carefully, I lifted out the shoebox of documents, tucking it under my arm and covering the hole back up. All I wanted to do now was get out of here—looking through the box would have to wait. What if there had been a leak at some point? There wasn't any guarantee that what I had was even legible at this point.

"What is that?" Latika asked as I moved back out of the closet on my knees before climbing to my feet.

"Nothing you need to worry about."

"I find that hard to believe." She was trying to sound tough, but I could hear the tremor of fear in her voice.

Instinct demanded that I put her mind at ease—to mother her the way I had when we were young. But we were both adults now, and we were standing on two different sides of a battle line that was drawn in blood and betrayal. It wasn't one that could be easily crossed.

I stared at Latika for a long moment, memorizing her features again the way I had the day I'd left all those years ago. Replacing the portrait of her I had in my mind with one that was a little more up-to-date and a little less idealistic.

"I hope I'll see you again someday, little sister. Under different circumstances. Until then… Well, good luck, I suppose. I hope you don't come to regret the choices you've made."

She didn't say anything as I walked past her, out of what had once been our room before heading out the front door into the quiet, dark night.

It was a strange feeling to walk away. To feel like I'd slayed one of my own personal demons, and yet to feel completely hollow inside at the same time, but I didn't allow myself time to reflect on it.

Step one was complete. And that was the easy part.