17. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

I 'd never felt so helpless in all my life.

Meera sat in the front of the moving contraption that was conveying us to wherever it was she wanted to go, while I hovered in the blackness of the room at the back, constantly moving to keep up with it since nothing could actually hold my form. It was blessedly dark back here at least. If it weren't traveling so quickly, if I had a mate bond to track Meera through, I might have let my body slip back into the in-between like it was begging me to do. I'd never spent so long in this form, and it was wearing on me.

But if I lost sight of Meera for even a second, there was a very good chance I'd never find her again.

The farther we went, the more acutely aware I became of my weariness.

I needed to feed.

Eventually, there were no coherent thoughts going through my head. My only focus was keeping up with Meera's conveyance—every drop of energy I had was devoted to not losing her.

"Whatever feelings I have for you… I mean, our friendship comes first."

I heard the words as though I was underwater and someone was speaking above me. Honestly, I wasn't entirely sure that I'd heard them at all. Perhaps my mind was merely playing tricks on me. Perhaps I was dying, and it had conjured up some pleasant thoughts for me to pass from this world with.

"Whatever feelings I have for you…"

That couldn't be true. But I desperately wished it was.

The vehicle slowed, and I slowed with it. My shadows flickered dangerously as we came to a stop, and I clung to the sound of Meera's footsteps to keep me in place.

"Verner?" Meera whispered, opening the door as little as possible and slipping inside before closing it behind her, blanketing us in darkness once more. "Are you here?"

I reached out, my claws ghosting over her skin.

The in-between was calling to me, dragging me back to its dark embrace. It was more effort to hold on to this ephemeral form than it was to shift back into my solid one.

Saying a quiet prayer to the gods that Meera would forgive me, I wrapped her in my embrace, and hoped she understood.

After a second's hesitation, she crouched low in the conveyance, which was just long enough for her to take a few steps. That was all I needed to shadow walk us back into the in-between, and I collapsed onto the ground the moment my form solidified.

"Verner!" Meera dropped to her knees beside me, pulling my arm over her shoulders, visibly struggling under my bulk. "Oh my god. What is it? What happened?"

"I need to feed," I rasped, struggling with just the effort of speaking. "I'm low on power. I need to get to the stores—"

"There's no time for that. You can't walk and I can't carry you." She helped me lie back on the cool ground before kneeling beside me, eyes worried. "I'm really regretting not having that conversation with you earlier. Can I… can I touch you?"

Touch me?

Was she offering to feed me?

"Meera, I can't ask you to do that."

"You're not asking, I am. And honestly, I'm struggling with it a little because I very much want to make an executive decision here to save your life."

"You always have my permission. You can touch me whenever you want. However you want."

Perhaps I wouldn't have been so honest if I hadn't been half delirious, but in the moment it seemed essential that Meera know that I was hers. That she was everything to me.

"Just… let me take the lead, okay?" she asked softly, her scent sweetening.

"Of course." Not that I could move anyway.

The moment Meera's hands landed on my stomach, what little energy remained in my body immediately went to my cock. If I wasn't able to feed from her soon, this erection might actually be the death of me. It was using up everything that I had left. The shadows I normally wore as easily as a second skin vanished, baring me to Meera's gaze. Could she see me? I didn't think so—she didn't react to my sudden nakedness.

As though she could feel my desperation, Meera's hand slid down my body, her fingers wrapping around my shaft.

"You're already hard," she said, surprised.

"Of course. It's you."

Meera's grip seemed to grow a little more sure at that, sending a shudder down my spine. "I don't really know what I'm doing," she whispered.

"You can do whatever you want with me, Meera."

Suddenly, her perfume was so thick in the air that I could have choked on it. Had that been what she wanted? What she needed for her desire to fully take hold? I had no objections to being Meera's plaything. I would be the luckiest Shade alive.

In all of our conversations, she hadn't mentioned any kind of romantic partner since that first boyfriend she'd had all those years ago, and I couldn't help but wonder if she'd avoided all kinds of romantic relationships since.

It wasn't as though Meera didn't know what she was doing, but she was just hesitant in how she went about it. Like she'd learned the knowledge in a book and was applying it for the first time in the real world.

Not that I had any complaints. Her soft hand felt heavenly around my shaft as she explored, and I groaned as she tightened her grip, squeezing the base where my knot would eventually swell.

"Good?" Meera asked, repeating it, this time a little more intentionally. While part of me was glad for the cover of darkness because it was probably allowing Meera to feel more comfortable, I also wished that she could see me properly. That she could see how every little touch and curious glance made me melt for her.

"Incredible. You're incredible."

"Is it working though?" she breathed, squirming slightly beside me. The scent of her own desire grew more potent with each passing second, and it was intoxicating. "Are you feeding from this?"

If I said no, would she stop? I didn't want that.

I also didn't want to die, as much as this would be a pleasant way to go.

"I don't think so," I admitted. "Maybe it takes a while?"

"That's not the impression I got from the others, though I'm wishing I asked more questions now. Let's try something different."

"It's okay, Meera. We don't have to—"

"Don't finish that sentence, Verner. This is not a hardship for me."

The assertiveness in her tone made my knot throb.

Meera stood, pulling off her heavy trousers, though there was still a thin piece of fabric covering the pussy I'd been doing my best not to fantasize about, because Meera was my friend and that was inappropriate.

"I wish I was more confident," Meera whispered, kneeling again before throwing one leg over my hips, the damp fabric of her panties immediately soaking my cock.

Fuck.

"You seem plenty confident right now," I rasped, my claws digging into the hard ground.

"Of course. It's you," she whispered, throwing my words back at me. Meera's hands landed on my chest before she shifted them either side of my head, looking worried that I might have struggled to support her.

"I won't break, Meera. You're safe with me. I'm stronger than I look right at this moment." That wasn't entirely true, but she could lean on me at least.

"Liar," Meera shot back, though there was no heat in it. She rocked her hips teasingly, dragging the material back and forth in a way that felt fucking incredible for me. But more importantly, it seemed to feel fucking incredible for her . Her eyes rolled back, teeth sinking into her lower lip, and the power started to flow.

I could only imagine what a rush of power would come through if we were actually fucking.

Don't imagine that , I told myself sternly. I'd assured Meera that I'd let her lead this interaction, and I had no intention of going back on my word.

And while I was entirely content to let her lead and go at whatever pace Meera deemed suitable, I was frustrated at how useless I was right now. Even if she asked, there was no way I could perform satisfactorily.

"Oh," Meera rasped. "This feels good . I didn't… I didn't know it could be like this. I mean, I've seen videos, but I didn't know… "

"You're safe with me," I reiterated, as firmly as I could manage while power flowed to me, making me almost dizzy. We'd barely done anything, and yet I was feeding so much faster than I would have from the stores, and I suspected this was only a trickle of what was possible. "You are always safe with me."

"I know."

The words were soft but steady and I watched, enraptured, as she shifted her angle, finding the exact position she wanted. Meera ground her pussy harder against my aching cock for a few more seconds before tipping her head back, pressing her lips together to stifle her moan as she came. It was enchanting to witness. Meera was always so guarded in her expressions, so controlled in her movements.

But in this moment, she was entirely free from every constraint she'd ever put on herself. I wanted to experience it again. And again. I wanted the rest of my life to look like this.

Even with the barrier of her panties, a sudden gush of slick coated my cock, and I shamelessly spilled over my stomach, my knot swelling beneath Meera.

She gasped, lifting up slightly on her knees and looking down, though I doubted she could see anything in the darkness.

"Is that…?"

"That's my knot, yes." I hesitated for a moment. "You can touch if you want to. Not because I'm seeking pleasure or anything. Just if you're… curious."

While I'd offered to assure her that I was fine with her exploring my body, I hadn't actually expected Meera to reach between us and circle my knot tentatively with her fingertips. Fortunately, I didn't startle in surprise and ruin the moment for both of us.

"Is the, um, wetness from me?"

I hummed in agreement, wanting to fucking bathe in it. I wanted Meera's scent baked into my skin, so everyone knew who I belonged to.

Don't get carried away, Verner. You have no idea if this means anything to her.

"I'm so sorry," Meera said with an embarrassed laugh. "That's… I've never done that before. I'm not usually so, um, soaked."

I was going to come again if she kept talking about how wet her pussy was.

"You're producing slick. I've heard that your body produces it in proximity to Shades, so you can accommodate the knot," I rasped.

"I'm not sure any amount of slick could get my body to accommodate this. It's so… firm," she said, gently pressing against it like she was worried she'd hurt me.

"Put your hand on top of mine," I suggested, shifting my grip to carefully cup my knot, keeping my claws out of the way. Meera followed my instruction, moving her hand with mine as I gave my knot a hard squeeze that had my hips lifting slightly. "You don't need to be gentle with it. It's designed to be… squeezed."

I pulled my hand back and Meera immediately took its place, experimentally massaging my knot with her fingers. My vision whited out from pleasure for a brief moment.

"Harder?"

I made a strangled sound of agreement, and she tightened her grip, massaging my knot like this was something the two of us had done thousands of times before. Even without being able to make out my features, Meera seemed to notice every twitch of my muscles or tiny sound, anything that gave away what felt good.

"This would be a lot sexier if I could see," Meera whispered, echoing my thoughts. "But I feel a lot more confident in the dark."

"Anything you want," I slurred, my hips rocking of their own accord as a tingle started at the base of my spine. "It feels incredible. You are incredible."

I really hoped there was no one around because I didn't stand a chance of keeping quiet as I came harder than I ever had in my life, coating Meera's hand in cum. How was this real life? How was this dream of a woman actually touching me?

She pulled her hand away, holding it close to her face to examine it before tentatively sticking out her tongue and licking my cum directly off her palm. My knot pulsated as another small orgasm rattled my bones. Gods. Where had she come from? Would she let me keep her?

"Do you feel, um, fed?" Meera asked, wiping her hand clean on her sweatshirt before resting it lightly on my inner thigh. It felt possessive, though I didn't know if she intended it to be.

"I did feed, thank you. You saved my life."

Meera's blunt nails dug into my skin ever so slightly. "Do you feel fed ? Tell me the truth, Verner."

"You know I can't lie to you," I replied, pained.

"Tell me what you need, Verner," Meera insisted. "We can go further."

It sounded like she was convincing herself rather than me, and I absolutely wasn't going to take her up on it. If Meera and I ever went any further, it would be because she wanted to more than anything. Because she was willing and desperate and eager for it, and I'd give her everything she wanted.

But we weren't there yet.

"Will you make yourself come for me? It's your arousal that feeds me, not mine."

"That's all? You just want me to get myself off?"

I hesitated. "I think we have be touching somehow for the power to transfer between us. We can just hold hands or something—"

"Can you sit up?"

My upper body rose like I was being pulled by invisible strings, and Meera shyly shifted to sit between my legs, facing away from me. She swallowed thickly before leaning back against me, her soft hair tickling my jaw.

"Could you put your arms around me?" she asked tentatively.

Slowly, so as not to startle her, I banded my arms around her waist. Her full breasts sat heavily on my forearm, and took a deep, steadying breath to keep my body language relaxed when relaxed was the last thing I felt.

"That's nice," Meera murmured. "But only because it's you. I don't usually like feeling constrained."

I loosened my grip slightly, worried it was too much, and Meera made a faint noise of disapproval. "No, I liked it. Come back."

Come back .

I will. Every time you ask me to.