19. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

" G ot it," Meera said, hopping into the front of the contraption I'd been waiting miserably in. Hearing her voice offered some relief, but seeing her would have been far preferable. "I'm going to find us somewhere to stay for the rest of the night and to hide out tomorrow. I'm exhausted, and kind of overwhelmed, and I don't think I'm going to make good decisions right now. I need to think about exactly what I'm going to say to Adela. What if she's changed her number? Oh god, I didn't even think about that…"

It was harder to pay attention to her words when she started driving, and I just did my best to keep up in the safe confines of the darkness she'd created for me. I wasn't entirely confident that she'd find somewhere suitable for us—would I just spend the next day in the back of this vehicle?—but eventually Meera came to a stop and assured me that she'd be back for me shortly.

The short amount of time she was gone felt like hours, but she did eventually return for me, confidently opening the back door of the van.

"I feel pretty certain that you're safe here, though I'm less confident about myself," Meera said cheerfully, ushering me out. "It's probably the dodgiest motel I could have found, but it's dark and it's private."

I moved like the wind, hoping that my body language encouraged Meera to rush too so that we could get inside at least. If that was even an improvement, safety wise. The long building we were parked in front of was eerie and decrepit, and I desperately wanted to whisk Meera away from here.

She led me into a room at the end, having filled Harlow's bag with almost everything she could source from the vehicle.

"I should have packed snacks," Meera mumbled to herself, closing the door behind her and double-checking the lock. For my benefit, all the lights were off, but I suspected Meera didn't need them to know how dismal this room was.

"I'm going to wash up," she said, gesturing at the only other door in the room. "Um, make yourself at home, I guess? This is so grim. How about you go back to the shadow realm and I'll wait here? You'll be a lot more comfortable there. Harlow gave me enough cash that I could stay here for a few nights. Someone can just come back and get me. You know. Later. When everything is said and done."

When what is said and done? I asked silently. I was frustrated by my ignorance of the human realm, trying to figure out what it was that Meera was trying to accomplish here. Perhaps that was what we should have been talking about in our brief excursion back to the in-between—though I had been a little distracted at the time.

Then again… we could always go back now? It was quieter than usual after the strange incident with the portals and the new Hunters who'd come through.

I drifted toward Meera subconsciously, and she shot me a look so deliciously challenging that I could have sworn I felt the knot I didn't even have in this form.

"I know that… float. You're floating at me like you're going to sweep me into the in-between, but I'm not going, Verner. I'm going to see this through. I'm the only one who can."

I drifted back, resigned, floating next to the bed.

"Thank you," Meera said gently. "I know this isn't easy for you. And for what it's worth, I still think that you should go home—but I'm selfishly glad you're here."

She disappeared into the washroom, and I heard the sound of rushing water, on top of all the other strange sounds I could pick up around us. It was very loud here. And this room was very awful. Surely, it wouldn't be hard to convince more Hunters to move to the shadow realm if everywhere was like this? I supposed Harlow's home hadn't been too terrible.

After Meera washed up, she re-emerged wearing only a towel, her face a spectacular shade of red. "I forgot I didn't have any clothes to change into. And I should probably save what I have for tomorrow. I did wash my sweatshirt, maybe it'll dry overnight…"

She sighed heavily, grabbing her purse and sitting on the bed, leaning back against the pillows. After a small pause, she pulled out the odd device she called a "phone," and the book I'd seen her regularly writing in all those weeks ago. Opening it to the first page revealed a small white rectangle with some writing on, that looked like it had been attached to the page somehow.

Meera exhaled shakily, tipping her head back to look at me, the phone in her hand. "I think this has been the bravest day of my life. Just… a whole run of brave things in a row. In the spirit of that, I know that we haven't really talked about anything, and we kind of need to—it's a little up in the air right now, but…" She laughed nervously, and I desperately wished I could hold her hand.

"I really like you, Verner. I don't usually like anyone, but it's different with you. The problem is me . Whatever this is between us, whatever it turns into, it can never turn into everything because I know I can't be that for you. I freeze, and I run, and I clam up. I can't… I can't be what you need me to be."

We'll see about that .

There was no denying that Meera did all of those things—I'd seen them firsthand. But I also knew that she came back. And that I could be a steadying presence when her head was feeling stormy.

Most importantly, I didn't think that was so much of a risk going forward anyway. Meera was finding her voice right in front of my eyes. She'd spoken more today than I'd ever heard her speak in one go. She was brave, and assertive, and fully focused on achieving… whatever it was that she was trying to achieve.

Meera wasn't giving herself enough credit.

"Okay." She laughed awkwardly. "Now that we've gotten all that out of the way, I guess I should probably message Adela Cooke, huh? Alright. I've got this. Brave new Meera, taking on the world," she added under her breath.

I startled as the device in her hand lit up, backing a little farther away from the bed, though it wasn't throwing off too much light at least.

"I'm just going to send her a message," Meera muttered to herself. "And ask her to meet tomorrow night. I guess she'll just have to come here," she added with a grimace, glancing at the rather unsavory surroundings.

The moment she finished and set the device down, it buzzed on her thigh and she immediately snatched it back up again.

Meera exhaled shakily. "It's done. She'll be here tomorrow."

It had taken Meera several hours to fall asleep, which was unsurprising. Aside from her general worry about how tomorrow would go, this place was unfamiliar to her and the street outside was incredibly loud.

I hoped my presence offered her at least some comfort. If any human attempted to enter this terrifyingly unsecured place, I would feed on their fear until they were a husk of a person—the king's edict be damned.

Not long after she finally began sleeping peacefully, Meera was tossing and turning beneath the thin sheets.

And I knew she wasn't wearing anything under there, since she'd wanted to keep her clothes as clean as possible for tomorrow.

My throat felt dry, even though I couldn't feel my throat in this form. She'd carefully pulled the towel away once she was already under the sheets, so I hadn't seen anything. But the way she'd looked at me while she'd done it made me think she wouldn't entirely mind if I had.

Rather than settling further into her rest, Meera grew increasingly fidgety over the next few minutes. Her breathing had changed too. And her skin looked different. More flushed.

It was a curse not having my sense of smell to rely on. I felt trapped inside my noncorporeal form in a way that I never had before. Were her dreams distressing her? There had been some mention of a sister, though I'd struggled to make sense of Meera's grumbled words of outrage. Perhaps she was remembering that altercation in her sleep—

No. No, that wasn't what was happening at all.

With the kind of breathy sigh that I remembered all too well from our brief excursion to the in-between, Meera rolled onto her back, the sheet pulling taut across her full breasts, nipples showing through the fabric.

I groaned, a phantom ache forming where my cock should be. I'd never hated this form more. I wanted to be there, in my solid form. Kneeling at her feet and waiting for my goddess to demand the worship she was due.

One day. When Meera realized that we were perfect for one another and that I wasn't going anywhere…

I was going to make her very happy indeed.

She woke up with a start, blinking into the darkness until her gaze settled on me. Tentatively, I moved forward, ghosting my fingers down her cheek.

"Verner," she rasped. "Would it be so inappropriate for me to touch myself right now? It totally is, isn't it? I just… I have these dreams about you."

Dreams? As in, she'd had them before?

"Sometimes it makes it hard to look you in the eye," Meera laughed breathily, sliding her hand beneath the sheet as I drifted closer. I knew that the cover of darkness and the fact that I was able to look but not touch was giving Meera this confidence, but I hoped that she'd remember how safe she felt with me when we were back in the shadow realm together.

I did my best not to be territorial. Not to let those base instincts rule my actions.

But I needed Meera to feel safe and comfortable with me, and to keep dreaming about fucking me until she wanted to do it in real life, because the idea of her doing those things with someone else made me lose my mind.

"I must be ovulating," Meera said with a light laugh that morphed into a soft moan. "Maybe it's a good thing you're not solid right now—I'd probably be demanding you drop those shadows for me."

That sounded perfectly fine to me. Wonderful, actually.

"I'm not going to be able to sleep unless I make myself come. You don't have to look. But if you want to look… I'm okay with it."

Fuck.

I immediately stroked her face, lurching slightly in my enthusiasm. Yes. Yes, I'm okay with this. Yes, I want to watch.

Her hand moved a little faster beneath the sheet, thighs spreading apart, and I tentatively ran my hand over hers through the fabric. Asking without words for her to move the sheet away. It was a liberty I shouldn't have taken without asking, but Meera merely shuddered, arching her back slightly.

"You want to see?"

I nodded, exaggerating the movement as much as possible so she couldn't possibly miss my enthusiasm. There was no way of conveying that she didn't have to, that she shouldn't feel any kind of pressure, that I would never push for more than she was willing to give me.

But I didn't think I had to say that with Meera. Surely, she knew by now that nothing mattered to me more than her comfort and happiness.

Meera bit her lower lip, trying to hide a smile. "It's not so scary when it's you."

She kicked off the sheet, revealing her entirely naked body, and in my head, I groaned loud enough that I was certain she could somehow hear it.

I wanted to trace the generous curves of her body with my palms. I wanted to feel the weight of her breasts in my hands, and see if her nipples were sensitive to the faint scratch of my claws. And more than anything, I wanted to bury my face between those thighs with her hands wrapped around my horns, directing my tongue where she wanted it to go.

Well, perhaps not more than anything. While I very much liked the idea of worshiping Meera's body for hours until she was drunk on pleasure, the idea of burying my cock in her was also extremely appealing, if she'd allow it. Would she let me knot her? I'd never done it before, and I never would, unless it was with Meera.

Shamelessly, I moved farther down the bed, positioning myself between her legs as she bent them up, setting her feet flat on the bed.

What a view.

I was merely inches away from her soaked, bare pussy, and yet it felt like miles because I couldn't fucking touch her.

There was the subtlest shift in Meera's body language, but suddenly I was certain that she felt more confident. More sexy .

I groaned to myself as she sucked her middle finger into her mouth, wetting it before sliding it between her thighs, parting that pretty cunt for me.

"I need this," Meera rasped, immediately honing in on one particular spot and circling her finger teasingly. "I know how selfish I'm being right now…"

You're not being selfish at all.

"I'll make it up to you," she whispered, rocking her hips as she moved her finger a little more deliberately. I did my best to memorize the movement, intending to follow the path with my tongue at the first available opportunity. "Or maybe I won't. I'm beginning to think that I'll be a very selfish lover, Verner. I just want you to… just do everything I say, you know? Maybe I have control issues."

I couldn't tell her that I would be more than happy to take orders from her, so instead I shifted up the bed, burying my face against her wet cunt, though none of the arousal stuck to my stupid human-realm form.

Meera gasped in surprise, arching her back, pressing further into me. "Is that your way of saying you wouldn't mind? That's so… hot. The idea of doing this with you in the shadow realm isn't nearly as scary now."

Good. Perfect. That was exactly how I wanted Meera to feel.

"Verner," she whispered after a few moments, digging her heels into the mattress as a shudder ran down the length of her body. Of course she came quietly, her voice as delicate as it was when she was speaking. It was beautiful. I wanted to lean in close and hoard every sound for myself.

I lifted my gaze to Meera's face, where she was staring down at me, shiny fingers still lightly toying with her cunt.

"Maybe one more," she whispered. "Be good, and stay right where you are."

Yes, my darling. Anything for you.