Chapter 21

After the best nap of my life, I headed to the palace with Meera to grab some food for lunch, updating her in hushed tones about how the conversation had gone before she slunk away to spend some time with Iris.

I felt guilty that I hadn't been doing the same, since Iris was cooped up in her apartment, unable to leave while Lochan, Sebastian, and Cora were hanging around.

Tomorrow, I resolved. Tomorrow, I would go and spend the day with her.

I'd almost joined Meera, but I didn't trust myself to be good company at that moment. I was too worried about Evrin to focus on anything else.

Had I ruined his life?

I genuinely couldn't tell. He'd been so caring and careful with me, but he seemed more worried than excited. Then again, I was worried too. There were a lot of unknowns with this pregnancy, and if I thought too hard about them, I'd rapidly start spiraling. I guess I'd been hoping that Evrin would bring his signature calming energy to the situation, which wasn't a fair expectation, considering it was his baby and his life too.

"Tallulah!" I turned at the sound of my cousin's voice, finding Austin jogging toward me, Selene following behind. I doubted she ever jogged anywhere—Selene was elegant. She never looked like she was rushing.

"Hi!" I pasted on my brightest smile for Austin's benefit, and took a calming breath in the hopes of tricking Selene's olfactory senses. "How are you guys?"

"What's happened?" Austin asked, immediately frowning. "It was that prick, Lochan, right? I've always hated that guy."

"No! Wait, do you? I didn't realize you even knew him."

"I don't. It's just the vibes, you know?"

In Lochan's case, I did kind of know. There was something just a little off there.

"I've barely spoken to him," I assured Austin.

"Then what's upsetting you?" Selene asked.

"I'm pregnant," I blurted out, immediately clapping my hands over my mouth. I hadn't intended to say that. I'd wanted to discuss sharing the news with Evrin first. But Selene was also pregnant. If anyone knew what I was going through, it was her.

"You're what?" Austin asked loudly.

Selene blinked at me. "I wish you hadn't told me this right before my shift was about to start. I can't get out of it—not with the Hunters' recent activity."

"I don't expect you to," I assured her quickly.

"Well, I'm not doing anything. Let's go back to Elverston House and have some girl talk," Austin suggested, already ushering me along the path.

"I'll come back here at the end of my shift," Selene said, and I turned away, giving them a private moment to say goodbye.

"Alright," Austin said, grabbing my hand and setting a pace that was just beyond comfortable for my short legs. "We have a lot to discuss. Who knocked you up?"

"Oh my god, Austin."

"I thought we'd just rip the Band-Aid off, you know what I mean? Oh shit, do you not know? Maybe I should have found a more tactful way to ask that—"

"Please stop talking. Evrin. It's Evrin. You haven't met him. He's stationed in the in-between."

"I haven't met him, but I've waved at him once or twice, on our way to Cartava. How did you meet him? Are you dating him? Is he going to make an honest woman out of you? Do I need to have a manly talk with him? I'll do it."

"He'd eat you alive, Austin."

"We both know that, but that should tell you how much I love you. Obviously, I'd bring my wife along to save my ass."

"You two are so cute, it's sickening." I nudged him with my shoulder before pulling my hand free so I could open the front door. "And I don't know about making an honest woman out of me, but we had been looking at a house to move into. You know, together."

"Oh. Oh. So, it's serious then. How am I just hearing about this now?"

Honestly, I was wondering that myself, considering how much of a stir Evrin and I had caused by greeting each other at dinner. Then again, Austin didn't live at court, and Selene didn't strike me as someone who would even notice gossip, let alone relay it.

"Well—" I cut myself off as Lochan appeared in the entryway, charming smile perfectly fixed in place.

"Ah, the Thibaut cousins, together at last! Austin, I was beginning to think your presence here was just a myth."

"Mm, I did think about stopping by and saying hello," Austin replied, not bothering to offer any explanation for why he hadn't. Why didn't I get those Thibaut genes? The I-don't-give-a-fuck-about-your-opinion genes?

I'd got Grandfather's everyone-is-out-to-get-you paranoia genes instead.

Lochan's eye twitched ever so slightly. "I really was hoping to chat with you both. I was just making tea. Do you guys want some?"

I was absolutely craving a cup, in all honesty. Was this what a pregnancy craving was? It was less aggressive than I expected. I didn't feel like I was going to murder someone if I didn't get a cup of tea soon.

Though, I did feel like I was going to die if I didn't get a cup of tea soon. Huh.

"Yes, please. Where are Sebastian and Cora?"

I did my best to give him a genuine smile. He was being nice. I could be nice. I'd passed Astrid in the palace and she hadn't given me any indication that last night's drinking games had gone badly. Maybe in her investigation of Lochan, there had simply been nothing to find.

"Apparently, Cora feels that I'm cramping her style," Lochan said, sounding unimpressed. "She requested that Sebastian be the one to accompany her to meet with her new friend today."

He shook his head slightly as he headed toward the kitchen, muttering something about baby sisters.

"Why did you agree?" Austin hissed as I led him into a drawing room. "We can't talk properly if he's around."

"I feel like I've given you the salient information!" I whisper-shouted. "I'm pregnant. Evrin is the father. We were planning on moving in together. I think we still are? Obviously, he was pretty taken by surprise when I told him."

"What did he say?" Austin asked sharply.

"Nothing bad! I think he was just in shock. He mostly seemed worried about me and my comfort."

Austin cut me an alarmed look as we sat down on opposite ends of the chaise. "I'm also worried about your comfort. I'm not sure your insides are built to withstand infant Shade claws."

"Thanks for that," I deadpanned.

"I'm sure it'll be fine, though," he added hastily. "I mean, it's going to be great. Our kids will grow up together. How awesome is that?!"

The idea actually hadn't really occurred to me until Austin had said it. "They will, won't they? That's amazing. And if they're, you know, different from everyone else in the realm, they'll have each other."

Austin's usual bright and easy grin turned a little softer and more sentimental. "Yeah, they will. Kind of like us when we were growing up, right?"

I laughed. "I'm not sure we were ever that close, Austin. Though, it was sort of hard to get close to anyone, considering we were basically in a herd."

He snorted. The Thibauts were prolific breeders—our family was enormous. It was a great point of pride for Grandfather. I'd lost count of the number of cousins I had at this point.

"Do you ever miss it?" Austin asked. "Home?"

"I miss some things, sure. But the negatives vastly outweigh the positives. What about you? No regrets about choosing the nuclear option?"

I hadn't given it much thought before, but at least I could go back to the human realm if I wanted to, though I'd have to avoid all Hunters forever. Austin had publicly made a scene—he didn't have that luxury.

He grinned. "Not one. I'd do it all over again if I had the option."

We fell silent at the sound of Lochan's footsteps approaching the drawing room, and I did my best to stay positive. This was a good opportunity to get to know Lochan, with the benefit of having Austin here as a buffer.

And if there was something shifty going on with him, maybe being able to talk to him without Sebastian around would help me figure out what that was.