CHAPTER 10

Micah

Friday morning, I said goodbye to my dad and my weepy mom and headed home to Austin. It was still strange to me to call Austin home since I really hadn"t been there more than a week before I fled to Dallas for the summer, but I supposed it would take time for it to grow on me. Looking back, it would have been beneficial to have some time during the last couple of months to explore and really get to know my new town, but I still felt it was more important that I had that time and space away from Bash.

That wasn"t the most pleasant thought to have, yet it was true all the same. I guess it"s normal for friendships to flex and grow beyond their boundaries after a few years, and we were probably due for some growing pains when there hadn"t been any since middle school.

A small part of me had a nagging worry in the back of my skull that our relationship wouldn"t necessarily grow for the better now that we were within spitting distance of the other. For years, we had commiserated over how much we missed each other and wished we lived in the same city, and we had always assumed that it would actually strengthen our bond and be an amazing experience. What if we were wrong? What if we had only stayed as close as we did after high school because of the distance between us?

I knew that it was worlds easier for me to love Bash from afar because I didn"t have daily reminders of how platonic he viewed our relationship, nor did I have to watch him living his best single life at UT. Of course, that was before I knew about Bash"s super secret girlfriend, and I could now say with certainty that it was an experience that I wouldn"t have enjoyed living with for the last two years. I guess now I would have to learn, wouldn"t I?

I reached my apartment around noon and let myself in the front door. A noise from the kitchen startled me, and my overactive imagination had me convinced that I was about to be murdered and end up a face on 60 Minutes. They"d say things like "his smile lit up every room" and "he was loved by everyone", and all the other shit that they were required to say of anyone who met a tragic end.

I took a deep breath, figuring I had lived a good enough life, and took my chances. "Hello? Who"s there?"

Come out, come out, mister vicious killer man…

"Umm, hello? Who"s that?" the disembodied voice called out.

Ugh, good grief, this was going nowhere…

"Look, if you"re trying to rob me or have plans to kidnap me, can we possibly reschedule because I"ve had a real long drive and I"m exhausted, so I"m not going to be the best victim today…" I called out, concluding that it was most likely not a cold blooded killer in my apartment, but still not sure who the hell it could be.

A boy about my age, slightly taller, came around the corner into the foyer and blinked his wide eyes at me. "Oh! Umm, can I help you? Are you the new tenant?" he asked in an almost melodic voice for a young man.

"Oh…yeah! I"m Micah! Sorry, I didn"t realize you"d be here today," I said sheepishly, feeling like a complete idiot that I had forgotten I actually had a roommate. Let"s not judge, shall we? It"s been a long two months…

My nameless roommate broke into a huge grin and walked closer, allowing me to get a better look at him in the foyer light.

He was a cute guy with a slightly nerdy look to him that I could appreciate, seeing as how I was the same way. He had a plush head of walnut colored hair and thin, but full eyebrows to match. His lips weren"t very full, but they created dimples on either side of his face that made him look even cuter. His smile was bright white with small teeth that slightly curved up toward the back of his mouth, but it actually suited him. Upon closer inspection, I could actually make out the color of his eyes, which were a deep, vibrant violet. Well damn…I"ve got myself a pretty twink for a roommate.

The guy stuck out his hand to me, and I grasped it in a firm shake.

"I"m Rhys Evans! It"s so nice to meet you! Sorry if I scared you, I was just unpacking stuff in the kitchen. I only got in a few days ago, and I"ve been Master Procrastinator about going through my boxes. I hope that"s okay," he said, his tone friendly but a little shy.

"Oh hell yeah, no worries!" I assured him, "I barely unpacked all my crap before I headed out for the summer, so no judgment here."

Rhys gave me another warm, friendly smile and motioned towards the kitchen and living area. "I gotchu. So where did you go for the summer? I hope somewhere tropical and fabulous because mine was borderline depressing and I need some vicarious thrills," he chuckled.

I think I"m gonna like this dude. He seems pretty chill.

"Psh, I wish. I headed back home to Dallas to see my folks and enjoy a low-key couple of months before classes start. Why was yours depressing? If you don"t mind me asking!"

"Ugh, I spent it back in Oklahoma with my Gran. She"s the only family I have, and I try to see her as much as I can. She"s awesome and pretty spry for her age, so I don"t mind hanging with her, but my hometown doesn"t hold the greatest memories, you know?" Rhys said, a mixture of adoration and discomfort in his tone. My guess was that he most likely had a rough time growing up, but I wasn"t about to press him for more details when I"d only known him five minutes. That would make one hell of an awkward chat with the new roomie, to say the least.

"Ahh, gotcha. I"m sorry about that, but your Gran seems pretty cool," I said, unknowing how to respond appropriately. "Do you guys get a lot of tornadoes where you"re from? Are they really that big a deal up there or is that all Hollywood crap?" I asked, unable to let the question out because I was morbidly curious, and I also wanted to lighten the mood a bit.

Rhys let out a laugh, smiling and shaking his head. "Nope, it"s not just Hollywood. I"m from Nichols Hills, Oklahoma. It"s a tiny city in the Oklahoma City area, and we get our fair share of tornadoes up there. You remember that massive tornado a few years back in Moore?"

"Uh yeah, I think. Didn"t it do a shit ton of damage and like basically wipe out the town?" Wow, I sure know how to strike up a cheery conversation. Way to make an impression, Russo.

"Yep, that"s the one. It was an EF5 and it essentially erased parts of Moore. Nichols Hills is about twenty minutes north of there. We got hit in that same outbreak of twisters, but the biggest we had was like an EF3. It sucked, but we didn"t have to go through all the rebuilding and stuff that other parts of the area did," Rhys recalled in a tumble of words as he rummaged through moving boxes and started putting things away in the cupboards. "Oh shoot, you probably didn"t want a whole history lesson…I"m sorry! I tend to word vomit and ramble when I"m nervous and not paying attention. Feel free to tell me to shut up if I annoy you!"

Aww…this poor, sweet guy. I think we"ll get along just fine.

"Hey, no worries at all! You aren"t annoying me! I tend to be a bit…melodramatic at times, and Bash has to constantly remind me to tone it down, so I get it," I replied, smiling at him so he knew I wasn"t annoyed in the slightest.

Rhys gave me a confused, but interested look. "Who"s Bash? Is he your boyfriend or brother?"

Ignoring the little thrill I got from hearing the words "Bash" and "boyfriend" in the same sentence together, I blushed and looked down. "Uh, no, neither of those. Bash is my best friend. We"re pretty close. You"ll actually meet him later today. He"s swinging by to come see me since we haven"t hung out since I left for Dallas."

Rhys must"ve taken my blush as embarrassment or unease because his eyes widened and he hastened to tell me, "Oh gosh, I"m so sorry for assuming he was your boyfriend or something! I shouldn"t have assumed you were gay, or implied it or anything!" His face turned a bright pink, his own embarrassment shining through.

I started laughing because dang, he was adorable, but also the sentiment was ironic to me because wouldn"t I just fucking love for it to be true? "My boyfriend Bash"…file that under shit that ain"t never gonna happen.

"Oh no, I swear it"s okay! You didn"t offend me at all! I am actually gay, but Bash isn"t. I mean, he"s not my boyfriend. Or gay! But it"s okay that you thought that, it"s not a big deal! We"re just best friends, that"s it!" I rushed out. Okay, I"m pretty sure I sounded like a mental patient just now, and Rhys" eyes narrowed at me, a smile creeping up on his lips.

"Sooo, are you wishing he was your boyfriend? Because you are bright red right now and I"m picking up some vibes," Rhys teased.

Did I say I liked Rhys?…Because I don"t. Dude is annoyingly observant. Either that or I"m just way too obvious…okay, it"s definitely that one.

"Ugh, it"s just…complicated. He"s been my best friend for almost ten years, and we used to be together all the time before college. We"ve definitely got some…attachment issues. I actually transferred to UT because of him, but something happened right after I got here and I took off for the summer. Right now, we"re just going through a rough patch, but it"s getting better. Or at least I think it is…" I muttered, unable to stop the words from coming. It"s like Rhys had magical powers that unlocked the flood gates to my brain and had me spilling my guts to him.

Okay Rhysie boy, are you a good witch or a bad witch?…

Evidently I had given Rhys an information overload because his eyes grew impossibly wide and he stared at me in stunned silence for a second. I couldn"t blame him. I sounded like a hot ass mess.

"Ooookay…so let me see if I get this right: you"ve been in love with him for a while, he"s straight and not into you that way. You"ve been finding it hard to find the balance between being his best friend and not wanting to jump his bones twenty-four seven, and now it"s causing problems between you two. How did I do?" Rhys inquired, as my mouth popped open and I blinked stupidly at him.

"Uh…yeah. Yeah, that"s the gist of it. How the fuck did you figure all that out in two seconds? If you"re gonna Jedi mind trick me like that, at least give me warning because I"m in a fragile state and liable to break down if you"re gonna draw out all my less-than-awesome life choices."

Rhys laughed, clearly not put off by my patheticness or the epic saga of shit that was my unrequited love for Bash.

"Nope, not a Jedi. It just made the most sense seeing how you responded when I thought he was your boyfriend and then the little bit of back story you gave me. You know you"re not the first person to fall in love with your best friend, right? I know it probably sucks, but it"s actually pretty common. Does he know how you feel about him?"

I let out a deep sigh, not having anticipated getting into this when I got home earlier, much less to a guy who was basically a stranger to me. However, there was something soothing and inviting about Rhys" presence and I found that I didn"t actually mind telling him this stuff. I hadn"t had this easy of a connection with anyone except…Bash.

"No…he doesn"t know," I said, opting for the Cliff notes version. "He actually has a girlfriend that I just found out about, and it"s been throwing me off. It"s been hard to separate my friendly feelings from my romantic feelings, but I know it"s gotta happen soon or I"m going to end up totally screwing up our friendship. Any advice for me, Yoda?"

He chuckled and gave me a look that wasn"t tinged with pity, but empathy. "Unfortunately not. At least nothing you probably haven"t already tried. All I can say is it"ll take time, and when you find it getting hard to take, I"m here if you need to talk. You can clearly see I like to since I basically pigeonholed you into giving up your life story because I ran off at the mouth! Either way, I"m here if you need a friend."

Okay…maybe I do like Jedi Rhys after all. He"s growing on me.

I gave him a small, thankful smile and nodded. "Thank you, Rhys. I really appreciate that." Rhys smiled back and returned to unpacking his boxes. As he was stacking some ceramic plates on the counter, he turned back and asked "So you want to order some food? I"m craving the heck out of Chinese."

I smiled wide and whipped out my phone. "Now you"re talking, Evans. Coming right up!"

Maybe Rhys would end up being a better friend than I had originally thought. Maybe even the kind of friend I needed.

*****

Bastian

When Micah told me that he was changing his plans for the summer to spend it in Dallas, it was like a kick to the stomach. No matter what he said, I knew I was the actual reason for his abrupt decision to leave and spend his summer four hundred miles away. I knew that lying to him about Ainsley would have serious repercussions, but I had hoped I hadn"t driven him away after I explained and apologized at his apartment. Clearly, I was wrong.

Did some part of me naively and selfishly think that Micah would simply forgive me and we"d jump back into how we used to be like nothing had happened? Yeah, I did. I think at this point it was an irrefutable fact that I was a colossal, idiotic, selfish asshole. I didn"t deserve Micah"s forgiveness, especially for the lies I told of which he was still unaware, but I would do every fucking thing in my power to earn it if I could. Micah was worth it.

The summer held no interest for me without my best friend, and most of that had to do with how we had left things before he took off. If Micah and I had been on good terms, I know I would have been fine and found ways to pass the time without him, maybe hanging with other friends near campus. As it stood, I was having a hard time being patient and giving Micah the space he obviously needed from me because space was the very last thing I wanted from him.

I might have overdone it on the communication when he first left. It wasn"t exactly my intention to irritate him to death with constant texts, but it was a compulsion I couldn"t control. In my head, if I kept bombarding him with messages, then in some small way I was still connected to him. If he didn"t completely ignore me, then it was a sign that we could get better and go back to normal eventually.

Every time Micah read my texts and didn"t reply, another small part of me withered away, feeling the disconnect between us ten times over. Things had never been this fractured with us, and I didn"t know how to cope with it.

One week in of Micah only responding to me minimally, I knew that I needed to pull back or I"d potentially make things worse. It was so fucking hard since I was accustomed to talking to him throughout entire days, but then I remembered that I had fucked everything up, starting with the lies about Ainsley and ending with the hookup that he believed I didn"t remember. He deserved to have time alone without me intruding on every minute of his days. The disgust I had in myself grew exponentially, and it wasn"t anything I could fix because there was no way I could come clean to Micah. Not now, perhaps not ever.

Some time into June, Micah had asked me if we could Facetime one night. I was so shocked and thankful that I came very close to breaking down like the pathetic wretch I was, but I held it together. The first view of Micah"s sweet face on my screen was like a balm on my wounded heart, and it sucked the air from my lungs. It might have been wishful thinking on my part, but Micah looked just as awed and eager to see me. It didn"t take too long before we slipped into our old routine like we had when he was living in Dallas. After that first Facetime session, I took my first, full breath since he had left me standing in my hallway with my heart in tatters. It was the first time in weeks that I believed we would be okay.

Ainsley was a whole other problem I was dealing with simultaneously. Right after Micah had left, I had been able to dodge her attempts at coming over for a "night in" because I knew without a doubt she was wanting to have sex. I had promised myself that after what happened with Micah, I wouldn"t cross that line with her again, but it was becoming difficult when she was persistent in her efforts to get me alone. I could only put her off so much before she caused another scene and next time, it would most likely get back to my dad. Her subtle threat the day Micah met her had left me certain that she was complicit in my dad"s schemes, and I didn"t want to give her any ammunition to share with him.

She was scheduled to leave for a European cruise with her mom for the summer, and she pressured me for a date night right before she left. It seemed like it was necessary to give her one, innocent date to keep her off my back for a while, so I told her I"d take her to dinner and a movie. She tried to argue for a movie night in, but I told her that it was my way or nothing. She didn"t like my answer one bit, but she caved and took what she could get. During dinner, she kept calling me every pet name under the sun and reaching for my hand across the table. In the dark of the movie theater, her wandering hands returned full force as she continually tried to grope me everywhere she could reach. I would just calmly grab her hand for a little bit, and then move it back to her side.

The worst part was when she slunk off her seat onto the ground between my feet, kneeling in front of me. I couldn"t exactly shout out in the movie theater for her to stop, so it took my repeated attempts at shoving her hands away before she got the hint and angrily climbed back into her seat. I inwardly breathed the biggest sigh of relief that she had stopped, but I knew there"d be hell to pay for turning her down.

To my great surprise, Ainsley was quiet and polite the rest of the time and she gave me a simple kiss on the cheek when I dropped her off at her dorm. I knew better than to trust her reaction completely, but after a couple of days without any blow-ups or calls from my dad demanding to know what I did, I finally relaxed and just took it as a win.

I knew I couldn"t avoid Ainsley"s advances forever, especially because I couldn"t break up with her without incurring the wrath of my father, but I was committed to remaining as faithful to Micah as I could. I owed him that and so much more. He owned part of my heart, and I couldn"t keep being with Ainsley in that way after what I had shared with him. It couldn"t ever compare.

Nothing could even come close.

*****

The day Micah was due to come home, I was a mess of nerves and excitement. We had been doing much better after our weekly Facetime talks and begrudgingly, I had to admit the space did us some good. It seemed that all Micah needed was to get away for a little while and refresh in order to open up and allow me back in. I wasn"t going to argue! I was just glad he was giving me the opportunity to make things right.

He texted me when he got back, and asked if I wanted to hang out that night and officially see his apartment. I had of course seen it the morning I showed up unannounced to grovel and apologize to him, but I hadn"t really been in the right frame of mind to take it all in, and Micah didn"t exactly give me the grand tour.

It didn"t matter what we did tonight, as long as we spent it together.

He texted me a little while later saying that he had finally met his elusive roommate, Rhys. Evidently, they were getting along really well so far. My inner green monster conjured up an image of some muscular, hot jock who would be walking around Micah"s apartment shirtless after practices or with just a towel on after his showers, and my stomach curdled at the vision. I had to give myself a mental slap to knock out of it because that was pure bullshit on my end. I had never been a jealous person in my life, no matter who my crush had been. I had a couple of girlfriends in high school, but they never lasted long and weren"t really serious, so maybe that was the issue.

It doesn"t mean anything. I"m just jealous because I don"t like sharing Micah. That"s it.

I couldn"t even fucking lie to myself properly. I had shared Micah with his friends at UNT and never had a reaction like this. No, the only other time I had felt this way was with that dancing dickhead Lex at the party, the one who had kissed Micah. I knew in my bones that the only thing that would provoke this much jealousy were big, deep, messy feelings.

Fucking hell, how fast was I falling for my best friend?

I closed my eyes, took a couple of seconds to clear my head of the heavy thoughts, and texted Micah back saying that I would be there around five o"clock with pizza in hand. That was still a few hours away, and I was practically vibrating with anticipation while waiting. I couldn"t fucking wait to have my MM back.

When 5pm rolled around, I had picked up the pizzas and cheesy bread sticks, and headed over to his place. It took a concentrated effort not to race down the hall to his door. I had to rein in my embarrassing enthusiasm.

I knocked and waited with bated breath for him to open the door, reminding myself not to plow him down with a massive hug once he appeared. When the door opened though, it wasn"t Micah on the other side. Ahh, must be the roommate. Let"s see, shirt in place, no macho vibes, definitely not a jock…I can work with that.

"Hey man, I"m Bash. You must be Rhys," I gave him a friendly smile, intent on making a good impression with him seeing as how he was Micah"s roommate and they were already hitting it off.

Rhys was a good looking guy, but definitely not Micah"s type, and I internally cheered. If it had been the macho tool in my head, I would have likely been arrested for attempted murder. Rhys and his pretty purple eyes were safe from me.

Rhys" face lit up with recognition that told me that Micah had at least mentioned me to him. Damn, why does that make me so happy to think about?

"It"s awesome to meet you, Bash! I"ve heard a lot about you today, but I promise it"s all good," he lightly teased me. Somehow I doubt that, but I"m not about to argue that point with him.

Rhys ushered me inside and told me Micah was in the bathroom and would be right out. I set down the food and took a minute to look around the apartment. It no longer had the stack of Micah"s moving boxes planted about, and the place had a warm, homey feel to it now that it held actual furniture and decor. What caught my eye the most was a framed picture on the side table in the living room.

It was a picture of me and Bash at our high school graduation. I had my arm around his shoulder, his around my waist, and whereas I was smiling at the camera mid-laugh, Micah was looking at me…and that one look displayed every true feeling he held for me.

How the fuck had I never noticed it before? I had seen this picture dozens of times at Micah"s old dorm, and I had never thought much of it until now. Was it just because of his confession that I could now clearly see what was in his adoring gaze? He"s looking at me like I hung the moon…Jesus, I had been fucking blind for so long.

I was pulled from my errant thoughts when I heard my name being called. I turned and there was Micah, dressed comfortably in a pair of his favorite gray joggers and a green UNT shirt that was a size too big and hung on his lithe frame. He looked perfect. My nerve endings came alive and my heart beat so hard in my chest, I was sure he would hear it across the room. It was like my body recognized his and was desperate to reunite with him, pulling me toward him as if we were magnetized.

Without a word, I crossed the room in three strides and scooped him up in my arms, twirling him around while I crushed him to me. Micah hugged me back with the same ferocity, burying his face in my neck. God, I could"ve fucking cried from how good it felt to have him in my arms again. I closed my eyes, breathing in his signature scent of citrus and sandalwood that was so comforting and familiar to me that it brought tears to my eyes.

"Goddamn, I missed you so much, MM," I whispered in his ear, very aware that we weren"t alone. I felt him nuzzle further into my neck, his grip not loosening in the slightest.

"I missed you, Bash. So much it hurt," he responded, so quiet that I would have missed it had I not been paying attention. The words healed a tiny part of my bruised heart, and I let out a deep breath in relief.

I set him down after a few more seconds, and met his eyes. He quirked up his lips in that half-smile that I was crazy about, and I smirked back in return. Nothing more needed to be said. We were good and all was right with the world.

"I"m really glad you"re back, M. Next time, I"m chaining myself to your luggage and going with you, so make your peace with it," I joked with him, falling back into our natural rhythm with each other as if no time had passed.

Micah snickered and nudged my arm, leading me back to the kitchen to grab some pizza. Rhys had a small smile on his face and was regarding us knowingly, but I ignored it. I didn"t want to delve into what he knew or thought he knew about our friendship right then.

We all piled food on our plates, and settled in with The Meg playing on the TV.

The next couple of hours were spent with us laughing and making fun of the movie, and both Rhys and Micah arguing over how hot Jason Statham was (and that answered the question about what team Rhys was batting for), which I stayed out of because I had no skin in that race. Micah was the only man who had ever turned my head, and I didn"t ever see that changing. He was tailor-made to wreak havoc on my judgment, heart, and hormones.

When the movie was over and we all fell into a comfortable conversation just shooting the shit, talking about each of their summers, Rhys piped up with a proposition.

"Hey! I don"t know if you guys would be interested, but there"s this amazing band playing at Cheer Up Charlies tomorrow night. It"s a queer club, but it"s very inclusive and their outdoor stage is so flipping cool!"

Micah"s eyebrows shot up in interest. "Sounds fun! What"s the band like?"

"They"re called Crimson Exodus. They"re like an alternative rock band, and take it from me, their lead singer is smoking," Rhys said, a light blush crossing his face. "If you like bands like Bad Omens or A Day To Remember, you"ll probably like them! What do you think?" Rhys" eyes were alight with excitement, waiting for our answers.

I had heard of Cheer Up Charlies before. It was a vegan place with funky cocktails and live music that catered to the LGBTQ+ community and was extremely popular in the Red River District a few blocks from campus. Any other time, it wouldn"t have bothered me and I would have been down to go, but the only idea running through my head was how easy it would be for Micah to meet someone there…someone who could be with him and love him like he deserved. Shit, I didn"t know how I would handle it if that happened…

Before I could chime in and turn down the offer, Micah piped in. "Hell yeah, that sounds awesome! Bash, you in?" he turned to me, eyes expectant and bright. I couldn"t deny him. I never could.

"Sure. Sounds like a blast."

The two of them continued on talking and making plans for tomorrow, but the unwanted images of Micah and some faceless guy kept storming through my head, intrusive and torturous. I had no real reason to be so anxious, but my brain kept blaring a repeated warning:

Nothing good can come from this concert.