CHAPTER 11

Micah

Ihad never been a big fan of parties, crowds, and basically people until Bash came into my life. He encouraged me to put myself out there and mingle with other humans, besides him, and showed me that if I just gave others a chance, they"d love me as much as he did. Of course, he meant platonically and it made my poor little preteen heart ache, but I had never seen any harm in trying. If Bash was there, I knew he"d never let anything happen to me.

There was one high school party he had coerced me into attending that was at some preppy rich kid"s lake house about thirty minutes from where we lived. It wasn"t exactly how I would have elected to spend my Friday night, but you try saying no to Bash"s dreamy green eyes! It"s basically impossible. Well…it is for me, so shut up.

Anyway, there was a dude on the baseball team who was a real twat-waffle to me most days because (you guessed it!) he took issue with my being gay. I guess I radiated gay energy or something that he took personal offense to because it wasn"t like I had a boyfriend I was mauling in the halls or doing anything to tip people off I was riding the rainbow train. It was just common knowledge at that point. He would shove me around in the hallways or blow me kisses or mimic the sign for blowjob by sticking his tongue in his cheek repeatedly like a moron, but I was able to ignore it usually. He knew better than to do that shit while Bash was around. I never told Bash because I knew he would go after him and I couldn"t risk my bestie getting in trouble.

The night of the lake house party, baseball dude cornered me when I went to find the bathroom and shoved me into the wall. Apparently, that was his shtick. I don"t know why he wasn"t playing football instead with the way he tackled people like a fucking linebacker with alarming regularity. He got in my face and told me that no one wanted a "dirty homo" there and some of his friends thought I needed to learn that lesson a little more thoroughly.

When he grabbed my arm, attempting to drag me toward the back door, Bash materialized out of nowhere like my own gorgeous white knight (minus being on horseback, but beggars can"t be choosers). The way his face darkened and waves of fury poured off him, I was even beginning to get a little nervous for Grabby McDouche for a second. Bash ripped me away from him, and threw one well-placed punch to his Neanderthal face.

It. Was. Glorious.

Bash leaned in close to him on the floor and told him in a menacing tone, "If you so much as touch one fucking hair on his head again, I will shove your balls so far up your ass, they"ll come up your throat and be mistaken for a pair of tonsils." Oh boy…Bash woke up and chose violence that morning! Damn, why was that hot?

It was a new experience to see Bash lose his temper and unleash on someone like that. He was always the picture of calm and never had cause to be anything but sweet to people. The fact that a little rough handling by some asshole was enough to push him over the edge for me made me fall for him all the more.

So yeah, parties put a bad taste in my mouth until I finally got to college and was exposed to a new, inclusive environment where people literally gave no shits if you were gay, bi, pan, demi, or any other skittle in the fabulous LGBTQ+ rainbow. After that, getting out around people wasn"t so bad, and it was always made better if I had Bash right there next to me like my reliable, emotional support hottie.

However, thinking of the concert and being immersed in a crowd like that never failed to make me nervous, so Rhys and I had planned for all three of us to pre-game a little at our apartment so I wouldn"t be one big ball of anxiety. Then, we would grab an Uber and head over to the club.

The whole way there though, Bash gave off some agitated vibes and his jaw was tight with tension. I grabbed his hand, drawing his attention to me as I gave him a puzzled, concerned look. He smiled at me and squeezed my hand, but his smile looked forced and I noticed his palm was a little sweaty.

Was he nervous about something? Was it the idea of being at a queer club even though he was straight? That seemed unlikely because, hello, his bestie was gayer than a Maypole, but I couldn"t figure out any good reason. I chose to not worry about it. He"d chill out once we were there.

We pulled up to the club about forty-five minutes into the band"s set, music thumping and pouring from the outdoor speakers. Cheer Up Charlies was this small, rectangular building in the middle of the city high-rises with a long wooden fence painted in blue waves off to the right, obscuring the outside stage from the street. Inside was awash in neon lighting and packed to the brim, so we pushed our way out to the patio where the band was performing. The club had a huge parachute hanging over the patio, and the stage was backdropped by a tall, limestone cliff that was pretty common for the Austin area. There were blue stage lights highlighting the band, and I quickly noticed that Rhys had not exaggerated about the lead singer one bit…that guy was dripping sex appeal.

Crimson Exodus looked like a cross between a 90s grunge band and an emo dream, most of the members dressed in varying combos of ripped jeans, tight leather pants, flannels with torn sleeves, black mesh tops, and studded jewelry. The drummer had short, spiked blue hair, the bassist had an ice blond crew cut, the second guitarist was rocking bright red curls, and the sexy singer/guitarist had straight, ebony locks that just swept his shoulders. They were weird as hell and I fucking loved it.

As we moved through the crowd to try to get closer to the stage, Bash"s hand never wavered from my lower back. It was giving me flashbacks to the UNT party when Bash had led me out of my dorm, and I fought to keep my breathing even. I knew he"d think something was wrong if I asked him to remove it, but it was hard to keep my thoughts from straying back to that night when his palm was a firm, warm pressure on my back. It permeated my skin with an electricity that zapped and sparked within me. I was positive I imagined it, but I thought I heard him let off a low growl behind me.

Knocking myself out of it, I concentrated on the music and soon Rhys and I were dancing up a storm, rocking out to the raspy tones of the singer and the seductive melody of the guitar and drums. Bash was dancing just behind me, and when I turned to face him, our eyes locked and a frisson of heat ran through my body. It was mesmerizing, and I couldn"t tear my gaze away from his, an electric current rippling between us in palpable waves. His stare was piercing and made my heart stumble and falter in my chest, and I saw the tiniest hitch in his breathing since he was so close. Is…he affected by this too? What does that even mean?

Almost as quickly as it had begun, Bash blinked hard a couple of times and looked around. "Hey, uh, I"m gonna hit the john and get some fresh air real fast. Be right back," he said loudly to be heard over the music before he turned on his heel, hightailing it out of there. I tried to will it away, but rejection and disappointment washed over me, shocking me with its intensity seeing as how his reaction shouldn"t have surprised me. Bash and I might have been abnormally close, but it didn"t negate the fact that he was straight and had no inclination to see me as anything more than his bestie.

Why the fuck am I not able to get that through my stubborn ass head? Honestly, if I was reading the story of my life, I"d be disgusted with my patheticness and begging the author for a rewrite.

I blinked several times to clear away the tears that threatened to spring up, and realized that I needed to take advantage of where I was and take the first steps to moving on from this toxic, unrequited love I held for Bash. I was at a fucking queer club, for God"s sake! Throw a stone and I would hit at least ten guys who would be interested in all this…I hoped.

I yelled to Rhys that I was going to get a drink, and he just nodded enthusiastically at me, a wide grin plastered on his adorable face while he got lost in the music. I made my way slowly, but surely to the indoor bar and waited for a bartender to notice me. As I stood there, I felt someone come up on my left, shoving in close since the bar was teeming with people.

"Damn, if you weren"t claustrophobic before tonight, this place will sure as hell do the trick!" a deep, growly voice exclaimed next to me. I turned to look at the man on my left, and hot damn. He was beautiful.

The guy had mahogany hair that curled slightly around his face and his jaw was strong and angular, giving him a GQ vibe that I was very much digging at the moment. What captivated me were his penetrating blue eyes that were bright aquamarine, almost the color of sea glass. A familiarity tugged at my memory, but I couldn"t for the life of me think of why. I know I"d remember seeing him if we met before. If Bash was my number one dream type, this guy would pull in second place. He looked me over with a cocky, but kind smile and when his eyes made their way back to mine, his eyebrow peaked up in interest.

"Well, I"d happily risk claustrophobia if it meant I"d get closer to a pretty thing like you," he crooned smoothly. Okay, the line was cheesy as fuck, but I was here for it.

I smirked at him and tilted my head to the side, giving off the best flirty eyes I could manage considering I hadn"t flirted with anyone in an embarrassingly long time. "And why would you want to get closer to me?" I quipped. His smile grew even more and his enticing blue eyes sparkled.

"So no one else could have you," he flirted. "I don"t know your name yet, but I bet it"s as beautiful as you are."

I couldn"t help it, I laughed at the cheesiness of it all, but he didn"t seem offended in the slightest. "I"m sorry, do you look this shit up or does it just come natural to you?" I asked, a smile stuck to my face. Blue Eyes laughed in return, shaking his head, his eyes never leaving mine. "I"d like to take credit for that last one, but I saw it in a movie recently. Always wanted to try it out. How did I do?" his eyes narrowed playfully at me.

I made a show of tilting my head back and forth like I was weighing my answer. "Eh, I"d give it solid 7.5, points off for the cheese, but good style." My answer made his smile grow even more, and he motioned for the bartender.

"Well then, to make up for my shameful attempt at a pickup line, let me get you a drink. I"m Christopher by the way, but I go by Kit," he said, sticking out his hand to me. I placed mine in his and instantly noticed how different it felt from Bash"s hand. Whereas Bash"s was warm and hard with some calluses from childhood sports that felt delicious against my skin, Kit"s was somewhat cold and smooth, like he"d never worked a day in his life. It wasn"t unpleasant, but it wasn"t Bash. Oh for sweet titty"s sake, I can"t even have another guy flirt with me without Bash popping into my head. I am downright pitiful.

Kit gave no indication that he was aware that I had disappeared from the conversation for a minute, and simply waited for me to answer him. "I"m Micah. It"s nice to meet you. And thanks for the drink, but you really don"t have to do that," I told him.

"Nah, I insist. You look like either a Manhattan kind of guy, or your guilty pleasure is a Cosmo," he guessed.

I chuckled and gave him an apologetic look. "Sorry, but no dice. I"m a Vodka Tonic purist. Gin on the bad days."

"Sooo, is this a good day or a bad day then?" he inquired in a flirtatious manner. I could either go with the flow of it, or turn it down and return to Rhys and Bash. At the thought of Bash, I realized that I was presented with a golden opportunity to start breaking down the romantic feelings I had for him, one brick a time and Kit was my sexy metaphorical sledgehammer.

"Well, seeing as you"re here, I"d say it"s shaping up to be a very good day," I flirted back. Kit"s answering smile was blinding and I tried to get lost in it, but my mind refused to do anything but compare him to Bash. I knew it wouldn"t happen overnight, but one day I would be able to lose myself in someone else without my best friend overwhelming my thoughts. I hoped Kit would be a good candidate, and I took my attraction to him as a good sign.

We talked for a few minutes, chatting and flirting, and he finally asked for my number and asked me out for coffee sometime. At that moment, my eyes were inexplicably drawn to my left and I felt someone"s stare on me.

My gaze met Bash"s across the crowd and all I could see in his eyes were anger and bitterness. It stopped me in my tracks and twisted my gut into knots. I swallowed hard, fighting the familiar urge to go to him and soothe his apparent distress. I wasn"t given much choice though when he turned and stalked away, disappearing out the front gate that led out to the street. A bone-deep ache shot through me, and it felt like a chunk of me went with him, tied to his presence and unable to be parted from him. Despite that, I rooted myself to the spot and forced my attention back to Kit, his perfect eyebrows raised in anticipation of my answer.

"Coffee would be perfect," I told him as I wrote my number on a napkin and handed it to him.

*****

Bastian

During the Uber ride to the club, images swamped my brain of all the ways tonight could go terribly wrong. I envisioned Micah kissing some guy on the dance floor, an image of another man pulling him over to a dark corner with him, and yet another vision of Micah blowing a faceless dude against the darkened side of the club. All of it made nausea crawl up my throat and my mind churn in rage. I knew I was being absolutely ridiculous and a jealous mess, but nothing could turn off the never-ending parade of shit streaming through my head.

Micah observed that I wasn"t myself, and when his delicate, but strong hand wrapped around mine, I tried my best to calm down and show him that I was okay. I just had to get out of my head tonight.

The club was crammed close to bursting, and the outdoor patio wasn"t much better, but at least there was some measure of fresh air out there. While we made our way inside the club, I kept my hand planted on Micah"s back at the base of his spine. I hadn"t originally intended it as a possessive gesture, but the feeling it brought to me was nothing short of territorial intoxication. It was impossible not to see all the sinful looks Micah was drawing to himself because he was just that intriguing.

Tonight, he had worn a cream knit sweater rolled up to his elbows that hugged his sinewy muscles, and a pair of fitted, black pants that accentuated that perfect, shapely ass of his. His chocolate locks were coiffed back with a swoop falling across his face that made him look windswept and attractive as hell. It was pulling at my memory of that night when I had seen him step out of his bathroom and the air had frozen in my lungs because of how incredible he looked to me. It seemed he was having the same effect on a few of the surrounding patrons, if their lewd glances and blatant observation of him were any indication. An involuntary growl was pulled from my throat as possessiveness and jealousy swam through my blood, and I prayed that Micah hadn"t heard it.

When we made it to the dance floor, Rhys and Micah let loose, jumping around and letting the music move them, and I was entranced. Micah was breathtaking. It"s not that he was perfect and ethereally gorgeous, but rather he radiated life and vibrancy that drew people to him like moths to a flame. He"d never see it in himself, but he glowed from the inside out and it elevated his already beautiful features into something wholly bewitching. He had me completely under his spell, and I never wanted to be released from it.

As though he could sense my thoughts, Micah spun to face me and his eyes captured mine and wouldn"t let go. I was immersed in the intensity that was reflected back at me, matching my own as I surrendered to the heat and energy that drew me to him. Every cell in me was zinging with electricity, making the hair all over my body stand on end as if electrocuted by his gaze on mine. The desire to kiss him raced through me like liquid fire, and it made the breath catch in my throat. Instantly, I came back to myself and blinked away the lust and haziness that had me connected to Micah at that moment.

I had to get out of there. I had to get some space from him so I didn"t do something insanely stupid like grab his face and kiss him senseless right there in the middle of the crowd. I made some excuse about the bathroom or needing air, which was fucking dumb since we were outside, but I quickly retreated and felt my brain clear more with each step I took away from him.

I was barely aware of the people around me as I bobbed and weaved through them in a blind quest for the restroom. I found it tucked away and took longer than necessary to finish my business, wash my hands, and exit the room. I was stopped on the way back to Micah and Rhys by a buzzing in my pocket. Taking out my cell, I saw Ainsley"s name flash across my screen. I really didn"t have the mental capacity to put up with her shit, but I answered anyway, thinking it was easier than her stirring up a fight later and it would give me a few extra minutes to gather myself before going back to Micah.

"What is it, Ains?" I asked her gruffly. Her responding scoff told me enough about the mood she was in. "Why haven"t you been answering my texts for the last few days, Bastian? You knew I was coming home today, and I thought you"d be free to see me tonight. What the hell?" she asked me angrily. I was already severely regretting answering the phone, but I responded anyway.

"I"ve been busy," I said shortly.

"With Micah?" she sneered his name. I tamed the growl working its way up my vocal cords, and calmed myself before responding. "Yes, with Micah. He"s my best friend and he hasn"t been here all summer. I wanted to spend time with him."

"Excuse me, but I"ve been gone all summer too. Did you not miss me at all? I missed you so much, and all I wanted was to see you tonight, but you couldn"t even be bothered," she pouted. My eyes rolled so hard in the back of my head it damn near gave me a headache. "Yeah, Ains, I missed you too," I said to placate her, "but I needed to see Micah. We weren"t in a great spot when he left and we needed time to get back in the groove of things."

Ainsley barely let me get the words out before she cut in. "Where the hell are you right now? It"s so loud where you are. Is that music?"

"Yes, I"m at a concert with Micah and his roommate. They invited me last night."

"Well. Nice to see where your priorities really are, Bastian. I"ll see you later," she snarled before hanging up on me. Whatever, I was thankful to be done with the fruitless conversation.

I pocketed my phone and made my way back to the dance floor. Deja vu smacked me upside the head when I lost track of Micah and could no longer see him amongst the throng of people dancing. I went to Rhys and spoke into his ear so he could hear me, asking where Micah had gone. I could barely discern what he was saying, but I caught the words "gone" and "drink", so I turned and headed for the bar. A nauseous feeling swept through me, foreboding in its potency. It was the feeling I had been fighting off since Rhys mentioned this damned concert last night, and it edged its way to the forefront of my mind.

I heard a laugh that I would recognize out of a thousand others, one that tugged at my heart, aching in its familiarity. I pivoted my head to the right and caught sight of Micah inches from a sleekly dressed, dark haired man. He was facing Micah directly, talking with him in an overtly flirtatious way. What"s worse was that Micah seemed to be returning his enthusiasm.

I felt sick to my stomach, the nausea that was only a whisper moments ago now an inferno burning me alive from the inside. I wrestled with myself to look away and leave Micah to the man who was clearly interested in him, but nothing short of death could rip my gaze away from my best friend. My blood was on fire with rage and envy, and I used every bit of strength I had not to stride over and smash that asshole"s face against the bar top and pry Micah away from him. I was suffocating, unable to move or breathe as the one thing I feared happening tonight unfolded in front of my tormented eyes. What the fuck is wrong with me? Am I so selfish that I would deprive Micah of a chance at happiness when I can"t have him for myself?

I knew I couldn"t be selfish where he was concerned. In a painful moment of clarity, I admitted to myself just how far gone for him I was, how much of my heart he possessed. I had to walk away now before I did something I would regret and that would inevitably hurt Micah.

Mid-talk, Micah"s head swerved my direction and his eyes snapped to mine. His eyebrows crashed together in worry, obviously seeing the irritation scrawled across my face. He looked so concerned and upset that it tore through me on a visceral level. Before I could let my emotions run away with me and propel me to him, I turned my back and headed for the exit, wishing more than anything I didn"t have to walk away from him.

*****

The Uber I called to pick me up dropped me off at my apartment ten minutes later, and I trudged up the stairs to the front entrance, hitting the button for the elevator once I was inside. As the elevator opened at my floor and I walked down the hall with my eyes downcast, movement in my periphery caught my attention. I looked up and saw Ainsley perched against my door, arms crossed over her chest.

Irritation flooded my system. "What are you doing here, Ainsley?" I asked, annoyance and boredom leeched into my tone.

Her head tilted to the side just slightly, narrowing her gaze at me like she was working out a problem in her head. "How was the concert?"

"Is that really what you came here to ask me? If that"s the case, we can chat about it tomorrow. I"m tired and I just want to go to bed," I retorted. She followed close behind me as I walked into my place, knowing full well I couldn"t exactly shut the door in her face. I kicked off my shoes and leaned against the kitchen island facing her, my hands in my pockets.

"Seriously, what do you want Ainsley? It"s late and our talk earlier didn"t exactly go well."

"I want to know why you"ve been ignoring me the last several days. I"m not stupid. You"ve been pulling away from me for a while, and it all seemed to start when Micah showed up that day. Since then, you"ve barely talked to me, never seem to have time for me, and we haven"t slept together in months. What fucking gives?" Ainsley asked, her tone dripping with ice.

I sighed deeply, barely having enough energy to stand there let alone argue with her about that shit. "Ains, I"ve told you, I"ve been stressed and not really in the mood for anything. I"m not trying to hurt your feelings and I"m sorry if I have, but please cut me some slack."

"Baby, if that"s the case then let me do something to make you feel better," she purred, making her way over to me. Her hands gripped my waist and moved toward my belt. "You don"t even have to do anything. I"ll do all the work and make you feel so good," she said seductively.

"Ainsley, seriously, I"m not in the mood," I reasoned, trying my best to gently move her hands away so I didn"t rip them off me and hurt her. Except Ainsley was determined and became more aggressive in her pursuit, managing to get my belt unbuckled and her hand on my zipper.

"Ains, stop!" I told her more firmly. "But why?" she whined, her hands trying to pull down the metal teeth.

"BECAUSE I DON"T WANT YOU!" I shouted, finally losing my temper and pulling away from her. She stumbled back, stunned at my outburst with her wide, blue eyes on mine.

"Don"t you fucking get it? The only reason we"ve been together is because our fathers orchestrated it all, and I thought you were a nice, sweet girl, so I gave it a chance, but this isn"t working! I"m not the man for you!" I barked at her. I hadn"t wanted to lose it on her, but enough was enough.

She stood there for several seconds, not saying anything and just staring at me like she was processing everything I had said. After an interminably long silence, her face shuttered and a cold mask fell over her features. I braced myself for her reaction, feeling like shit for being so harsh with her.

"You remember what I said about making the right choice?" she paused, allowing her words to sink in. "You"re about to find out just how much you"ll regret it if you try to end things with me."

Wanting to have the last word, she pivoted and stormed out of my apartment, slamming the door closed behind her. Exhaustion and frustration hit me like a bus when I walked into my bedroom and fell down onto my bed, sleep claiming me within minutes. The last thing I saw behind my eyelids before I succumbed was Micah"s beautiful, smiling face.

*****

A loud ringing woke me up from a deep sleep and I pried my eyes open, trying to identify the source of the noise. Groggily, I realized that it was my cell phone and grabbed it off my bedside table. When I saw the word "Dad" scroll across the screen, I groaned in annoyance and ignored the call.

A minute later, the phone lit up again and I ignored it just as before. I picked it up to see just how many times he"d called already, noting that I now had five missed calls and eight unread text messages from him.

In my foggy, sleepy state, I almost missed the single text that I had from Micah, timestamped from several hours ago. He must have texted me after I left the concert. Opening it, I read the words that sliced through me.

MM:Hey BB, are you okay? I saw you walk out and got worried. I"m sorry if I did anything to make you angry…please just let me know you got home safe. Love you.

I hated that I made him think he did anything wrong when the truth was I was just a jealous piece of shit. He deserved to go out and live his life, find a guy who would worship the ground he walked on, and love him with an open, loud heart. I wish more than anything I could be that man, but I had too much baggage and cowardice that kept me from him.

I texted him back, not wanting him to worry more.

ME:You did nothing wrong, MM. I promise. I"m home safe, don"t worry. I"ll text you later. Love you too.

I checked the time on my phone, seeing that it was just after 6am. I scrubbed my hand over my face and crawled from my bed, knowing I"d be unable to fall back asleep. After taking care of my morning business in the bathroom and had brushed the grit from my teeth, I slunk back out to my room and saw another message waiting for me. Only this time, it wasn"t from Micah.

DAD:You"re going to want to answer my call.

I had barely read over the text before another one of his calls came in. I decided it was better to answer him and get it over with. I steadied myself and hit the answer button.

"Good morning, father," I said flatly.

"So you do know how to take a call. At least you"re smart enough to follow one piece of instruction," he said, his voice annoyed and haughty at the same time.

"What"s so urgent you had to call me so many times at the crack of dawn?" I asked him.

"Watch your tone, Bastian," he threatened, "Don"t forget who you"re talking to." As if I ever fucking could.

He continued on without waiting for my answer. "I had an interesting call from Ainsley late last night. I was worried at first because I could not understand what would prompt her to bother me so late. Imagine my surprise when she told me that you had tried to break things off with her and left her in tears."

My teeth gnashed together and I curled my fist, a violent rage pumping through me that was uncharacteristic for me outside of the context of being jealous over Micah.

"Dad…" I started to say, but of course he broke in and didn"t let me finish.

"You know, I was your age once too, Bastian. I understand that you are trying to find your way in the world, and you need to sow your wild oats while you are able. However, you need to keep in mind the world you come from and the way you are expected to live your life," my father told me carefully, his words measured and precise. "Experimenting is fine and can be tolerated, but only certain people will be appropriate marriage material. Ainsley is appropriate marriage material."

My blood ran cold as his insinuation hit me square in the chest. It was terrifyingly clear that Ainsley had told him about her suspicions regarding me and Micah. My dad had picked his words carefully…he knew about my feelings for Micah, or at least he heavily suspected. Fuck me blind…

"Dad, this isn"t about experimenting, sowing oats, or whatever else you think. Ainsley and I do not fit together. I have no feelings for her, romantic or otherwise. We wouldn"t even make it as friends. I can"t continue to be with her and lead her on," I tried explaining to him, begging to God that he would listen to me for once in his life. My plea fell on deaf ears.

"Do not be so naive, Bastian. Love is all well and good when you"re young, but a marriage is only as strong as the partners involved. You and Ainsley can grow to love each other one day, but your union would be about strengthening your place in our world and ensuring you the best future," Dad said, almost bored in his delivery.

"Dad, please…" I begged, but he cut me off yet again.

"I think you need to understand what is at stake here, son. If you do not toe the line and do your best to live up to the expectations I have set for you, then you will leave me no choice but to show you the consequences of your actions…and your mother will pay that price," he said, his tone sinister.

My eyes blew wide, fear coursing through me as his words struggled to make sense in my head. "What the hell does that mean? What the fuck does mom have to do with any of this?"

"As you know, your mother has been mentally ill for quite some time, Bastian. She has struggled for years with her depression, and has often had fits that have left me concerned for her safety. If you do not fall in line, then I will have her committed to a psychiatric hospital, and I will do everything within my considerable power to make sure she stays there indefinitely. I would not allow you to see her and derail her progress, unless of course you were amenable to my…suggestions about your future."

Holy motherfucking shit…that unimaginable bastard. How the fuck was I supposed to fight him on that?

Dread, despair, and hopelessness crashed down on me, bringing me to my knees on the soft carpet, tears escaping out of the corners of my eyes. I couldn"t speak and I felt my heart cracking in my chest as I realized the extent of the damage he was going to cause if I fought him any further.

Dad spoke low in my ear again, "Bastian? Tell me you understand."

My eyes fell closed, more tears escaping and I swallowed hard, the sensation like razors sliding down my throat. I croaked out, "Yes, sir. I understand."

"Good. Then I expect you to start taking Ainsley on one respectable date each month for the foreseeable future until I am convinced you are on board with your role in this family. That shouldn"t be too difficult with your school schedule. I expect to hear from you after each and every one."

He didn"t wait for my reply, simply hanging up the phone and leaving me broken, my heart bleeding out on the floor and that well-known nausea working its way up. In a mad dash, I scrambled to the bathroom seconds before I vomited, everything coming up with painful force.

I flushed the toilet, sitting back against the cool tile of the tub and let the tears flow free. I was trapped. My father knew where my weak spots were and he exploited them to maximum effect. It only left me with one alternative, and it gutted me alive to think about.

There was no being rid of Ainsley, and I would have to let Micah move on and be happy. I could be his best friend, but nothing more. I had always known that there was no hope of a future where Micah and I were together like that, but to have even the tiniest sliver of a chance ripped from me so cruelly left me gasping for breath and praying for it to stop. It had me finally admitting the words in my head that I had tried to avoid for months now.

I was in love with Micah. There was no more falling, it was done. I loved him. He possessed me heart and soul, and if forever existed, then I"d want to live it by his side.

But that wasn"t possible. Not with my father"s threat looming over my head, ominous and cruel. My dad wouldn"t back down and I couldn"t risk my mom. I was left with no other option but to let Micah go.