44. Chapter Forty-four

Chapter Forty-four

Jake

Jeremy was sitting on my porch when I pulled into my driveway after dropping Sage off at her mom's.

I hadn't spoken to him since I'd walked out of our building two weeks ago. Seeing him brought on an onslaught of mixed emotions, dread being the biggest.

I was a big fucking hypocrite. I'd managed to be angry at Clara for avoiding having a conversation when I'd been doing the exact same thing with my brother. He'd texted, called, showed up at my place, and I'd turned my back. First, because I'd been so damn mad at him, then it had come down to not wanting to vocalize the decision I'd made the moment he'd asked me to pick him and MZ over Clara.

I walked up the porch steps warily. Jeremy stood, his movements creaky, like he'd been there a while. He probably had. I'd called him when Sage had gone missing on the off chance she'd gone to see him or Anne.

"Sage is at Carly's?" he asked.

"Yep." I unlocked the door, leaving it open for Jeremy to follow me in. I was just about wrung out from that hour between Sage's school notifying us she was absent and the call from Clara, but it was time to face this.

"She's okay?"

"She is. Grounded but no worse for wear."

He chuffed. "I bet you and Carly can't say the same."

"No, we can't."

I didn't stop walking when I reached the kitchen, only paused to grab a beer then headed out to the deck. If this was going to happen, it'd be over an icy drink with my favorite view as the background.

Jeremy took the seat beside me, his own beer in hand. For a while, we were just two brothers, sipping from our bottles, watching the sun go down.

Jer spoke first, but not about what I'd expected. "Sage went to Clara."

"Kid loves her. I made a decision that has kept them apart."

Clara hadn't helped, but I wasn't mad at her anymore. Now that I'd seen her in the flesh, the tears in her eyes, the way she'd gripped the table with all her might… Her fear had been palpable, but she'd still asked me to go easy on Sage because she cared about my girl.

I'd dropped my anger, replacing it with a determination to bring us all back together where we belonged.

"Right." Jer's head dropped. "A decision I asked you to make."

"Mmm." I took a long pull from my bottle. "You shouldn't have asked, and I shouldn't have gone along with it. You knew I would, though, because I've always supported you."

"Like I always support you."

"Maybe." I put my empty bottle down and rested my head on my chair's cushion, watching the sky explode in oranges and pinks. "You crossed my line, Jer. I think you did it because you were sure I'd stay, no matter what. And you might've been right. Before Clara, that is."

He exhaled slowly. "I know she means a lot to you. In retrospect, there was no need to keep the story from her. At the time, I was grasping at straws, trying to save the deal if I could."

"I know that. You're not telling me anything new. Retrospect or not, you shouldn't have asked."

"This is a subject we'll have to agree to disagree on."

I turned my head, glancing at him. Jeremy wasn't a bad man, but he'd learned to be cold from the people who should have given him warmth. He could turn his emotions off when they got in the way. He adored his wife, but if I'd asked, he would have kept the same secret from her. No matter how long I'd tried to give him what he'd grown up without, he wasn't going to change. My loyalty and sacrifice were appreciated, sure, but they weren't sacred. Jeremy might not ever outright betray me, but he'd trod over me if he had to.

Hell, he already had.

"I'm not coming back to MZ," I stated.

He jerked like I'd surprised him. It shouldn't have, though. I'd told him what would happen if he kept secrets, and I was a man of my word.

"This is not the time to walk away. Without the Rossi deal, we'll have no choice but to close more stores. You're the only one I trust to handle—"

"It's done, Jer. The minute you learned about Dallas Fox and chose to call Roman and the others before telling me what was going on, I was gone. The only way you and I are going to be able to get good again is if I have nothing to do with MZ. You can't be my brother and boss. It's not going to work. You're no good at it, and if I don't walk, I'm afraid I'll bow under your pressure and fuck up again."

"Come on, Jake. There won't be another Rossi deal. You know that. There's no chance for you to have a conflict of interest with Clara again."

"That may be true, but I don't like who I am working at MZ. It's not me, Jer. I don't need or want it."

He scoffed. "You don't want the salary that bought you this house?"

"I don't. If I need to, I'll move somewhere smaller. Hell, I'll take a page out of your book and sell my shares to Roman."

"You're not selling your shares," he gritted out.

I shrugged. "I lived a long time without our grandfather's money. It was a good, comfortable life. I'm going to get back under the hood—do what I do best. If that means I need to give up my shares, they're yours."

His gaze bore into the side of my head, but now that I'd told him my intentions, a weight had been lifted off my chest, and I could take my first deep, clear breath since before he'd asked me to work at MZ with him.

"You're serious."

I smiled at the horizon. "Deadly."

"When I need you most, you're walking away?"

I drummed my fingers on my stomach, calm as I'd been in a while. "Not walking away from you, Jer—walking away from a job I don't want and get no joy from. If I stay, you and I are gonna end up hating each other."

"We've been fine the last few years."

I raised a brow. "You've been keeping secrets. I imagine there's a lot more I don't know about, and that's okay. I don't want to know. MZ is your legacy—it's never been mine."

He shot up from his seat and crossed to the railing. Gripping it tight, he tipped his head back to the sky and hollered his frustration.

" Fuck! " he cried. " God-fucking-dammit. "

I got up and stood beside him, placing my arm around his shoulders. No matter how old we got, he was still the kid who had come to me on empty and allowed me to fill him up. I was honored I'd been the one to do it, and I wasn't relinquishing that role. Brothers didn't do that, even when they disagreed.

"I'm sticking, Jer. You hear me?" I turned to him and took his shoulders in my hands, giving him a jostle. "This doesn't mean I'm not sticking. We're gonna get back to the good we've always been—when the favors you asked of me were fixing your car or helping you plan a surprise for your wife—things I'll jump at the chance to do. Always."

He nodded. If he was more than frustrated, he didn't show it. Jeremy's emotions were buried deep, only ever surfacing for brief, fleeting glances.

"I hear you." He bowed his head like it was too heavy to hold up any longer. "And I'm sorry I asked you for too much. You're right to get out now. Chances are, I would have continued asking."

Neither of us had to fill in the unspoken words, that he'd needed to test how far I would've gone for him. Inside his tightly controlled exterior was an insecure kid who had a hard time believing anything good could be his. Even his brother.

"Come here," I gruffed, pulling him against me.

He was slow to reciprocate my embrace. For a while, he stood stiff, but I'd done this dance with him. I kept on hugging, and little by little, his tension eased.

"I'm sorry," he repeated.

"I know." I slapped his back and took a step back. "We'll get through it."

He dug the heel of his hand into his forehead and grimaced. "Are there rules now? Can I talk to you about MZ? Or is that forbidden?"

I almost laughed. "Nothing's off-limits except you asking me to come back. I told you, we're no longer coworkers, but I'm here. Always."

Jeremy stayed a while after that. We switched to soda and went from watching the sunset to counting stars. I asked for his advice on getting Clara back. He was shit at it, but it was good to laugh at his suggestion of copying his move by sitting on her doorstep until she wanted to talk.

Once he was gone, I walked through my empty house, the silence beating down on me. I started to go upstairs to turn in early then stopped and asked myself what the hell I was doing. Why was I wasting more time not being with Clara?

I picked up my phone, but I didn't call or text. If I gave her the opportunity to say no, she might take it.

To hell with that.

The time for waiting on her had passed.