41. Chapter Forty-one

Chapter Forty-one

Jake

It was the silence that did me in.

I was a man who had never minded solitude, like those quiet weeks between having Sage home. Clara and Nellie had cured me of that. They'd filled my home and life with dancing and laughter. Passion, joy, and so much love. Now that it had nowhere to go, my chest was near bursting.

The week wore on, and I didn't hear anything from Clara. No matter how many times I called and texted, I got nothing but silence in return.

I would've borrowed her words and said history was repeating itself, but nothing in my past compared to the stark absence of the love of my life and the little girl I'd been starting to think of as mine too.

Days of nothingness went by. I didn't go into the office. Instead, I spent time in MZ's garages, losing myself in fixing cars since I couldn't fix what I wanted to.

I was giving Jeremy as much silence as I'd been getting from Clara. I'd seen the news stories. MZ came out strong in denouncing Dallas Fox, but we were still mentioned every time a story ran about him.

Jeremy had to be having a hell of a time, but I couldn't find it in me to want to help. He'd asked for too much from me. I'd known it. He had too. And he'd done it anyway.

I was the idiot for giving in to him.

In my days of silence, I had a lot of time to think and make decisions. When I thought I'd be able to look at my brother without punching him, I'd let him know what conclusions I'd come to.

For now, I had to pull my shit together. Sage came back home yesterday, and I couldn't have her seeing me losing it. She was just a kid, and she needed to know her dad had his shit together so she could rely on me no matter what.

I couldn't fail another person I loved.

It'd been a week since I'd spoken to Clara. I was getting close to going to her house and forcing the subject on her, but that didn't feel right. Not yet.

Sage sat across from me, her fork scraping her plate as she slowly ate dinner. She'd been too busy studying me to get much food in her mouth.

"Are we ever going to talk about it?" she asked.

I cocked my head. "What do you need to talk about?"

She dropped her fork with a huff. "I'm not dumb, Dad. We haven't seen Clara and Nellie this week. You haven't taken any calls from her or spent too much time smiling like a goon at your phone. Where are they?"

I blew out a heavy breath and set my own fork down. "Clara and Nellie are home, but she asked for some space, so I'm giving it to her."

Her brow furrowed. "Space from us?"

"Nope. From me. This has nothing to do with you, sweetheart."

Blood rushed to her cheeks. "What did you do? Did you mess up?"

God, I wished I was the type of man who could lie to his kid. If she hadn't asked me a direct question, I sure as hell wouldn't have told her what I'd done to get where I was. But she had, so here we were.

"Yeah, I did." I scraped my hand over my scruff. "I'm hoping it wasn't too big and Clara will be able to forgive me."

"But what did you do ?"

"I kept something from her I shouldn't have. Something that had the potential to affect her family's company. She found out and asked for some time to think about what she wants to do next."

As I spoke, Sage's eyes turned glassy, and her lips rolled over her teeth. Her fingers dug into the table so hard, the tips turned white. It was hard to look at her, but I needed to show her what it was like to own up to my mistakes. I didn't know if I'd get Clara back, but Sage was stuck with me, so I had to be the best I could be for her.

"I can't believe you did that," she rasped. "She must be so mad."

"She is, but I think she's more sad than anything."

"Oh." Whimpering, she folded her arms protectively around her middle. "Do you think she might forgive you, or…or are we never going to see her again?"

It took a lot for me to keep it together. This was exactly what I'd been avoiding—getting back to the place where my girl lost another important person. It was all my fault we were here, and I was fucking furious with myself. With my brother. And if I were honest, with Clara too.

"I hope she can forgive me." I tipped her chin with my knuckle and caught her watery eyes. "I bet you'll see her again, though. You're important to her."

I really fucking hoped I wasn't blowing smoke and Clara kept her end of the bargain. She had every right to ignore the hell out of me, but Sage hadn't done anything wrong. She didn't deserve to be set aside and forgotten.

"You just have to keep telling her you're sorry and won't do it again." She nodded like she agreed with herself. "We can't lose her, Dad. She's important to us too. You can't give up on winning her back. You can't."

"I'm not going to, Sagie." I left my seat to wrap her in my arms and kiss the top of her head. "I know it's hard, but I'd like for you to try not to worry about this. I want to enjoy my Sage time this week. If you're all mopey 'cause all you've got is me to hang around with, I'll call Dex to join us."

"Oh my god, no. Dad, you wouldn't ."

I nodded, and for the first time in a long while, I grinned. "Try me, kid. If you mope or catch me moping, we're calling in Dex. He'll cure us."

She shuddered. "He'll spread diseases! He licks everything."

"I don't think you want me to tell you the gross stuff you did when you were his age."

Her hands slammed over her ears. "La-la-la, can't hear you."

Laughing, I kissed her again, relieved she was here with me. No matter how shitty life was, I always had this beautiful, perfect spark of joy I got to claim as my own.

And that was worth a whole lot.

I couldn't forget that.