Chapter Five

Four months later, Halloween…

It was the first time Pink had stepped foot back home since he left. Quentin and Snow always went to Knight's to visit him. Adam supposed they might have also met places to do things together. Either way, Adam was never along for the ride. He hadn't set eyes on Pink since that final encounter. The past four months had been hell.

Quentin had never thrown a big party. He definitely had never thrown a Halloween costume party. Adam hoped this didn't become a thing. No matter the reason, though, he couldn't wait to see Pink. He also felt sick at the thought of seeing Pink.

Adam couldn't stay in his room all night. He didn't have to work. Quentin had hired a company to come in and handle the needs of all the guests, ensuring the family felt comfortable enjoying themselves. Adam had to admit, it was a smart move. A lot of the guys, him included, felt too indebted to Quentin to take a night off for themselves. This eased their minds. Adam wandered through the crowd. He refused to wear a costume. However, he had changed things up a bit, going dark with his colors. He wore a deep red shirt beneath his black suit jacket. That was as Halloween as he got. The dark suit also gave him the advantage of hiding in the shadows. That was also how he accidentally ended up finding Pink and eavesdropping on his conversation with Snow.

Together, side by side on a lounge by the pool, the pair chatted. Pink was dressed as a puzzle piece. Adam didn't have to wonder about the costume for long.

"Two puzzle pieces that fit together is a very couple-esque costume."

At the statement, Adam's gaze scanned the crowd. Sure enough, standing at the drink table, Knight also wore a puzzle piece. Adam stepped deeper into the shadows. He didn't want anything stopping him from hearing more, especially getting caught.

Pink chuckled. "He's my soulmate." It was like getting stabbed in the gut. "Before meeting Knight, I thought that meant something completely different. But he's definitely taught me you can find your other half in a best friend too. That love can be every bit as deep." Pink turned his head and smiled at Snow, giving Adam a clear sight of his face from the string of lights above his head. He looked happy. "I don't think I was meant to have romantic love."

Snow took his hand. "I wish you wouldn't give up on that possibility. You're too young to decide you're forever alone."

Pink laughed. Adam missed that sound more than he could express. "I'm not unhappy."

"What happens when Knight meets someone, and you end up pushed out of the picture?"

Something passed over Pink's features. It made Adam feel sick. He didn't understand why until Pink spoke. "Then he won't be the first to shatter my heart." Pink brightened. "But I don't think Knight would kick me from his life, even if he meets someone. He's a good person."

Snow nodded. "I know. That's why I didn't balk too hard when you moved in with him. Even though it broke my heart," Snow tacked on. "I still don't understand completely why you left."

Pink looked away. "I broke my own heart every day here, clinging to things best left behind."

Adam rubbed his chest. Snow didn't know it, but Adam did. Adam was the thing best left behind. That hurt more than he could express.

"Spying is an ugly look on everyone equally."

The quietly spoken words nearly made Adam jump out of his skin. His gaze shot toward the voice. Knight sipped his drink as if he hadn't just caught Adam listening to every word Pink said.

Still, Adam tried hanging on to his dignity. "Knight." Even Adam heard the indifference in his voice.

"Adam." Knight matched his tone, mocking him.

Adam straightened his sleeves. "Nice chat." He walked away, incapable of dealing with Pink's "soulmate."

"Idiot," Knight muttered under his breath as Adam headed toward the drink table.

He didn't look back. Adam ground his teeth to a pulp. Why did Knight have to be everything he wasn't? He didn't understand why he couldn't be personable and give Pink a happy life. Adam wanted Pink to describe him the way he had described Knight. He heard the pride and trust he had in Knight. Fuck. Why not him? Adam's inner raging hit the wall of truth and died. He knew why it wasn't him. Knight openly loved Pink back. Knight showed a side of himself for Pink that Adam either didn't have or didn't know how to express. He was everything Adam wasn't. That was just the way things were. It was exactly the life Adam wanted for Pink, except it wasn't with him.

A light tap on his shoulder pulled Adam from his inner raging. He wasn't prepared. Not by a long shot. Adam turned and found himself face to face with Pink.

Pink twisted his fingers. He looked uncomfortable and beautiful. Goddamn. So fucking beautiful. Adam's breath caught in his throat.

"Is it okay if we talk for a minute?"

Even if Adam's throat worked, he was incapable of saying no. He gave a jerky nod.

Pink walked toward the tree line away from the noise of the party. He stopped when they were out of earshot, but not out of sight. Adam wondered if he stayed where Knight could keep an eye on him. He fought the urge to eye the crowd to check.

Pink didn't give him time to guess the reason for this. "I'm sorry." That confused the fuck out of Adam, but Pink didn't stop. "The last time we saw each other, I shouldn't have done what I did. I've had a lot of time to go over that night in my head and I was wrong. It was obvious you had been drinking. I took advantage of that inebriated state, and—like you said—it wasn't what you wanted. I really hope you don't spend the rest of your life hating me and I hope me being away these last few months has given you time to heal. You don't have to worry it'll happen again." Pink swallowed. He blinked back tears, breaking Adam's heart. "I never wanted to be anything like the people I escaped, but—for a night—I was, and I'll never forgive myself for it." He looked away and swiped at his eyes. "Anyway, that's all I wanted to say. It's okay to go back to ignoring me now."

Before Adam had time to absorb Pink's words or what had just happened, Pink walked away. Straight into Knight's waiting arms. Like a statue, Adam watched Knight wipe the tears from Pink's cheeks and kiss the tip of his nose. He said words Adam couldn't hear, but he knew they were comforting. Once again, Knight did everything Adam should. He didn't know how to break the cycle. His brain and heart screamed for him to do something. Anything. But all he could do was watch someone else love Pink. As always, he was useless.

Everything inside Pink ached. The pieces of his broken heart rattled in his chest. He had loved Adam for years. Seeing him again made Pink realize nothing had changed. Except everything had. Pink didn't feel the same about the three years he had lived under this roof. He saw them differently now. What had once felt like love and an amazing friendship now showed itself as an unhealthy obsession and a one-sided crush.

Pink had needed to apologize, but he didn't feel better afterward. That night still haunted him. Adam had been drunk and drunk men were easily fucked. That didn't mean Adam wanted him. His body had responded to what Pink offered, but—as he'd said—he didn't want it. Those words never stopped weighing on Pink's heart.

Knight's arms felt good, though. He was the haven and absolution Pink needed to survive an ugly life and world.

Knight touched his lips to Pink's temple. "Do you want to go home?"

He hated to cut the night short, but he nodded. "Please?" Pink immediately felt guilty. Snow's claims about Knight meeting someone else bombarded him. "Unless you want to stay. We can stay. I don't want to keep you from having fun. Royal has been eyeing you like he can think of a few ways to entertain you."

Knight laughed. The sound lifted a weight from Pink's chest. "I'm pretty sure that's not how he's looking at me. I think he's trying to decide how he can make me disappear for good. But have you met me? I'd much rather be home in my pajama pants, watching a scary movie with you before falling asleep halfway through."

He had to admit that sounded like Knight. "Okay. Let me tell my dads bye and we'll go."

Knight winked. "Let's do it."

Hand in hand, they found Quentin and Snow. Pink fought a fresh wave of tears at Quentin's obvious disappointment. "You just got here."

Pink forced a laugh. "I've been here two hours."

Quentin eyed him, seeing too much the way he always did. "Tell me how to fix it. Do we need to buy a new house and start somewhere new?"

A genuine smile touched Pink's lips. "Stop. You're amazing and I love you. You know that. But I'm grown and I have to act grown now."

Quentin hugged him and kissed his cheek. "I know you need to do what's best for you. But I miss you and I love you. I'll behave, though. Be careful going home."

Pink pulled away. "I will. I love you too. Enjoy your party. You deserve some fun."

With a few more goodbyes, Pink finally made it to Knight's truck. They exchanged tired smiles. Their social batteries weren't huge. They equally could only stand so much partying.

Knight waited until the dark engulfed them and they were on the road before he brought up the taboo. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Pink didn't respond right away. Did he? Not really, but being open with Knight was the only thing saving his life. "I said my goodbyes. Now I can close the book on that chapter of my life and move on."

Knight nodded. He didn't look Pink's way. "Did you have time to tell your dads about the job you landed?"

Horror struck Pink. He had been so busy thinking about Adam, he had forgotten. "Damn."

Knight laughed. "Well, I guess you should call them tomorrow."

Pink couldn't believe he had let Adam overshadow everything again. He had to stop. As he'd said, that chapter of his life was done. Pink wouldn't look back again. In a month's time, he would begin a new life at a private clinic, working with troubled teens. He didn't need love to keep him going anymore. Pink had himself.