Chapter Six

Pink blinked at the ceiling. He had fallen asleep on the couch, but he was in bed. A smile tugged at his lips. He didn't deserve Knight. Then he truly woke and realized it wasn't his bedroom ceiling. Pink shot up straight. He didn't recognize the room at all. An envelope waited on the pillow beside him. Pink snatched up the letter and tore into it, hoping for answers.

Pink,

I'm sorry. I didn't know which bedroom was yours, but you looked uncomfortable on the couch.

Pink looked around. His shoulders relaxed. He was in one of the spare bedrooms that never got used. Since Pink had never had a reason to step foot inside, he hadn't immediately recognized it. His heartbeat slowed. His gaze returned to the letter.

To start, you have no idea how mad I am at you. How dare you apologize to me for the only night I got to touch you? When I said that wasn't what I wanted, I didn't mean I didn't want you. I meant I never wanted things to happen that way. You deserved to be taken to bed and made love to properly. Not on the floor while I'm too drunk to control myself. There're a lot of things I never said to you. Since you're oddly sleeping through me writing this entire note, I'll put it here. Maybe you'll wake up before I'm done.

First off, I love you. Damn. You have to know that, right?

A tear slipped down Pink's cheek. He wiped it away and kept reading.

Everyone else knows it. Royal can't stop telling me how dumb I am for staying silent. Setting aside my anger over your apology and my stupidity for staying quiet, there's still so much you don't know. Things no one knows. We're so alike. Ridiculously alike. It's almost scary. So, here it goes…

I'm five years younger than everyone thinks. When Quentin rescued me, he had been looking for someone close to his age of twenty. Of course, the academy didn't keep people that old, unless they needed new instructors, and the boy agreed to continue on as one. What they had in stock was a fifteen-year-old who looked twenty. So, I was told to lie or die. Then Quentin took me in, and the lie continued because I was terrified of losing my home. I thought he'd send me back, and I'd die in that hell.

Pink pressed the letter to his chest and sucked air. Maybe no one else would understand the pain behind the words Adam wrote, but Pink did. He knew what it was like to lie and pray that dishonesty kept a roof over his head. He forced himself to go back to reading.

They also told Quentin I had been trained in the assassin program and could protect him. I've always been a big guy. So I looked as if I fit the part. Unfortunately, in my much younger years, my size was more fat than muscle, and some men love a pudgy boy.

Pink covered his mouth. Bile rose in his throat. But Adam deserved for him to keep reading, so he did.

During my years as a pet, I worked hard to turn that fat into muscle, and learn the things the other boys did, praying they'd switch me to the assassin program. That's not what happened. If Quentin hadn't bought me when he had, I was headed for the killing fields. So, that's why I've never left Quentin. My home and place are with him. That's also the real reason I don't date. The idea of anyone touching me makes my skin crawl. Until you. From day one, you casually touched me all the time without thought. Instead of cringing away, I've done everything I can for more. I don't want you to be sorry. That one night with you was the best night of my life… until it was over, and you left, and I didn't know how to fix it. I still don't. My inability to connect with people hasn't mattered to me before now. But it matters now that I don't know how to reach out to you. I don't know how to fix this. But I know I love you and I honestly feel like you love me too. If you don't, then please God burn this letter and forget this happened. Maybe burn it anyhow. I never want anyone else to know what I've told you. Just please don't completely leave my life. I thought you were my best friend until you found someone to replace me.

Pink's throat swelled. He didn't know how much more pain he could take, but he didn't stop reading.

I thought you were my soulmate. Not his.

Damn. He had heard that.

I know I'm cold, and I don't know how to be what you need, but I want to try. Please let me try. I don't know what else to say. Hopefully, I'll hear from you sometime. I can't believe you slept through this whole damn letter. Have you taken up drinking?

Love you,

Adam

A watery laugh burst from Pink. He hadn't taken up drinking. Talking to Adam had mentally depleted him. He hadn't known how emotionally drained he was until they had finally spoken. Then he had a moment to relax and finally slept for real for the first time in ages.

Pink crawled from the bed with the letter clutched to his chest. He opened the door and darted across the hall to his bedroom. He had plugged his phone up to charge before Knight and he had started a movie. Pink snatched it up and found Adam's number. He knew he could call, but that wasn't them. Pink crawled into bed and burrowed beneath the covers before sending a text.

Pink: You should've woken me.

Immediately, three dots appeared, showing Adam was typing. Pink couldn't stop smiling at his phone. His cheeks were still wet from crying. He didn't care about anything except talking to Adam.

Adam: You were passed out solid. Plus, I didn't know what would happen if you were awake. Maybe I would've frozen and not said the things I needed to say. Maybe I would've scared you and had you screaming for Knight.

Pink: You've never scared me.

After a moment, Pink realized he had thoughts to add.

Pink: I think that's how I knew I was in love with you. You're the only person who doesn't scare me, at least a little. I don't regret you if you don't regret me.

Adam: I want to see you.

Pink bit his bottom lip. He didn't need to think about it. Pink just didn't know how to start.

Pink: Okay. Tell me when and where.

Adam: Meet me at the restaurant where you got ghosted. Six?

Pink: I didn't get ghosted. I canceled so I could be with you, but yeah. Six sounds good.

If Pink could wait that long.

Adam: Sounds like we still have some things to tell each other.

Pink imagined that was true. It seemed they would find out soon enough. Pink just hoped they could figure it out together.

Until he headed inside the restaurant, it didn't occur to Adam that Pink might not come. A few texts didn't mean they were okay. He felt sick just thinking about it. When he spotted Pink's hot pink hair right away, his head spun in relief. Adam wasn't good at expressing himself or showing his emotions, but he loved Pink. The last four months had been wretched.

As he reached Pink's side, he held out the roses he carried. Pink turned his head, catching sight of the flowers first. That split second gave Adam a chance to study Pink's face. He had missed Pink like crazy. Pink looked tired. A bright smile lit his face at the sight of the roses.

He met Adam's gaze. "Awww. That's so sweet." Pink accepted the flowers as Adam slid into the booth across from him. He clutched them to his chest and sniffed them before setting them aside. "They're gorgeous. Thank you." Pink eyed Adam. "You're in jeans and a t-shirt. I think I've seen that maybe four times in the last three and half years."

Adam fought a blush as he shrugged. "I'm off today."

Pink chuckled. "Technically, you're off every day. Quentin doesn't really expect you to do anything for him."

Adam knew that, but everyone knew why he still did. He owed Quentin everything. Adam changed the subject. "You look amazing." He really did. Pink was always dressed in a way that drew the eye. Tonight, his black short sleeve button down was unbuttoned just enough to show his sexy hairless chest. He looked exactly like the type of guy everyone expected to see on the cover of a fashion magazine. Of course, Adam understood something most people didn't. Being born beautiful was more often than not a curse.

A sweet smile hovered on Pink's lips. "Thank you. You too. I got here a little earlier than intended, so I went ahead and ordered for us."

Adam nodded. "That's fine. You know what I like." And Adam wasn't really hungry. Honestly, he felt a little sick. Just because Pink agreed to meet him didn't mean he was forgiven.

An uncomfortable silence fell between them. Adam hated that. Silence had never felt this way with them. Pink's gaze never wavered from him and Adam felt exposed. This was why he never told anyone about his past.

"You're looking at me differently now." Even Adam heard the defeat in his voice.

"Of course I am," Pink said, not even bothering to deny it. "This is the first time I've been allowed to hold your stare without praying you don't see how in love with you I am. You have no idea how much that's ruled every thought when we're together. I lived in constant fear of you seeing the truth and putting a wall between us." Pink shrugged. "I knew I could live with a lot of things, but you distancing yourself from me wasn't one of them." A sad smile touched Pink's lips. "I was right."

Adam's anxiety was real. He knew they needed to talk, but he didn't know how. Adam had to start somewhere. "I just want things to go back to the way they were."

"I don't." Pink didn't mince words. "The way things were kept us apart. I don't want to go back to sleeping with a bedroom wall between us, wondering if I should move on with my life."

Food appeared in front of them.

Pink smiled at their waiter. "Thank you."

The man's gaze never wavered from Pink, which was pretty typical. "Do you need anything else?"

Pink looked Adam's way. "Do you need anything?" Adam shook his head and Pink focused on their server. "I think we're good. Thank you."

With a nod, the guy reluctantly walked away.

Adam shook his head. "You're irresistible to everyone."

Pink looked adorably confused. "What do you mean?"

Adam shook his head again. "It doesn't matter." He picked up his fork and poked at his food.

Pink didn't. He stayed focused on Adam. "Can I ask you something about your letter?"

He set his fork aside. Adam didn't feel well again. "I guess."

"It's not about you," Pink said, looking like he needed Adam to understand he didn't want to upset him. "It's more about Quentin."

Adam picked up his fork again. He could talk about Quentin. "Okay."

Pink chewed his lip for a second. Finally, his shoulders fell. He lowered his voice, obviously hoping to keep their conversation private. "I feel a little guilty for my thoughts since I read your note. But I never really thought about that first time Quentin actually bought a whole-ass person and it bugs me. I mean, how does a person decide one day to buy someone? How does a person even—ethically—know something like that exists and decide to go to the auction? I guess I'm more bothered than I realized."

Adam nodded. He understood. "Thankfully, it didn't really happen that way. When Quentin first got sick, he knew he needed help, but with his money, he was scared to let just anyone care for him full time. His cousin—back when his family was still in his life—and by the way, this is why they aren't anymore. Anyhow, his cousin gave him a card and told him to contact this guy about hiring someone. He said, for the right price, Quentin could basically describe exactly what he needed employee wise, and they would deliver." Adam set his fork down and kept going. "But, as you know, auctions don't happen every year. They happen every few years when the next batch of boys are fully trained. When Quentin called, they'd just had their auction two weeks earlier. They were still in the process of buying a new batch of kids. Basically, all they had in stock was me. There were a few instructors too, but they didn't fit Quentin's criteria. So he never actually went there. They sent me to him. Until I arrived and—eventually—opened up to Quentin, he just thought he had paid them a finder's fee and then me a yearly salary. Obviously, he was horrified when he learned the truth. We talked about a lot of options. In the end, the entire society and academy business are too well connected all around the world. There was nothing to be done, except for him to save who he could." Adam shrugged. "Not all of us can be saved. A lot of us turn out just as twisted as the people who tortured us. That's just life."

Pink nodded. He looked crestfallen. "Yeah. They'll never be completely shut down. In Greece, I saw senators and all sorts of judiciary type people, ambassadors, and embassy officials. When I came to the states, I saw familiar faces on TV, posing with their families." Pink took a breath. He looked sad. "There're more bad people in the world than good."

Adam wished he could say it wasn't true, but it was. "One of the many reasons I never left Quentin." A thought hit Adam and he couldn't stay silent. "But you're so much braver than I've ever been. You're not like me. Despite everything, you took that job at Bare Studs. Then you went to school and moved out from underneath the family. Maybe the world is an awful place, but you haven't let that stop you. I'm proud of you."

"I've been scared shitless every step of the way." Pink looked sad. "Especially after the whole Nikola thing. Before then, my bravado was more me flexing my freedom. Then Nikola showed up at the club, reminding me of the past, and I realized I'll never be safe." Pink rubbed his arms. "It's been three years and I still expect him around every corner."

"You won't see him again." Adam couldn't say more. Some secrets had to go to the grave. Nikola was one. Nikola had been one leader of the Serbian chapter of the society. He had found Pink at Bare Studs, pretended to be just some guy, and ultimately caused Pink's suicide attempt. Pink hadn't been the only one triggered that night. Adam knew Nikola for a reason. Leaders did enjoy passing around their pets.

Something in his tone must have warned Pink to let the matter drop. He changed the subject. "On a happy note, I have a new job."

Pink sounded too proud for Adam to scoff at the idea of Pink working. He was meant to be pampered. "That's great. Where at?"

Pink picked at his food, taking small bites as he answered. "I've been blasting my resume all over, and of course, the hospital wanted to hire me. They'll hire anyone with the proper certification and a pulse. But I didn't really want to kill myself for next to no pay and that's exactly what would've happened there. I heard a lot of nightmare stories at school. Anyhow, there's a nonprofit within walking distance of Knight's place. They interviewed me and the job is perfect. For me, anyhow. Not just anyone would want to work at a place that caters to troubled teens. They called two days ago and gave me an offer. It's not a lot of money, but it's the position I wanted. I'm so excited."

"When do you start?" Adam wanted to keep Pink smiling. His excitement was infectious.

"The first of next month. Since they're a nonprofit, they can't hire anyone new until the next budget is passed. They said I definitely have the job, though."

"That's amazing." Adam meant it. It was just like Pink to want to help people. "You're amazing."

Pink blushed. Adam wasn't surprised when Pink changed the subject again. He was always uncomfortable with praise. "What are your plans after this?"

"Hopefully, something with you."

The sweet smile that had stolen his heart touched Pink's lips. "I'd like that."

Relief poured through Adam. He didn't know how to get back to what they used to be, but he also wanted to be more. Adam was just a mess. "How did you get here?"

"I took an Uber."

Adam looked around. "Do you want to get out of here?"

"Sure." Pink eyed the room. Adam knew the moment Pink made eye contact with their server. The guy practically ran to the table.

"Can I get you anything?"

"The check," Adam said, hearing the irritation in his voice.

"To-go boxes, please," Pink said over him, obviously trying to be nice.

The server scurried away.

Pink flashed him a wry look.

Adam shrugged. "You're too sexy for your own good."

"He's just trying to get a good tip."

"Mhmm. Okay."

The guy was back in an instant with their check and the boxes. He didn't immediately set the bill on the table. The too-blond server nodded toward the paper in his hand. "I can accidentally lose this if you want to give me your number." Adam snatched the bill from him. "That's a bit embarrassing, isn't it? Do you flirt with everyone while they're on a date?" In his irritation, Adam couldn't hide his cockney.

The guy finally focused on Adam. His eyes widened. "Oh. I'm sorry. You look straight."

Adam rolled his eyes and dug some money from his wallet. He didn't look at the amount. It was more than enough to cover their dinner. That was all that mattered. He shoved the money toward the server. "We don't need any change. Maybe don't be a wanker in the future. It's a bad look, isn't it? You know what I'm saying, mate."

"Sorry again." He scurried away, obviously understanding Adam could easily break him in half.

Adam looked Pink's way. He found Pink smiling like an idiot. "What?"

Pink shook his head. "You. That accent came out hard."

Adam fought a blush. "I guess I got a little jealous."

"You never have a reason. There's no one else for me."

The air thinned. Adam drew a shaky breath. He didn't know how to be the open person Pink was, but he wanted to be. Adam wanted everyone, especially Pink, to know how much he loved him. "I love you. I wish I had told you before I fucked up everything good about us. Now it feels like you'll never see me the same."

Pink handed him a box. "Pack your food. I want to have you to myself."

Nothing could have gotten Adam moving faster. In record time, he had their meals boxed up and in hand. He stood next to the table, waiting for Pink to slide out of the booth. Adam nodded for Pink to go ahead of him. His gaze slid down Pink's body as they headed for the door. Not a night had passed since their night together, Adam hadn't thought about the way Pink felt beneath him. The memory burned inside him. He would never have enough of Pink.

Outside, Pink paused. "Where are you parked?"

Adam motioned toward the right where his SUV sat. As they neared the vehicle, it automatically unlocked. Adam reached past Pink and opened the door for him. He waited until Pink got settled before handing him the food containers. Adam circled the car and climbed inside. As Adam closed the door, Pink set their food and his roses on the backseat. Before he saw it coming, Pink was on his side of the car. His mouth covered Adam's. Adam didn't need to think. His hands were everywhere. He had to feel every inch of Pink. Until Pink, Adam hadn't known the meaning of aroused. He hadn't known what it was like to be willing to give everything. Lose everything just to be with someone. Telling Pink he was in love wasn't enough. He wanted to scream it from the rooftops and beg Pink to marry him. Adam's emotions were too heavy for one person and Pink's tongue was amazing. Not that it mattered. Adam wanted so badly to just be with Pink. He didn't think he would've cared if Pink kissed like a fish and slobbered on him. Adam had long surpassed caring about anything except the love. He needed Pink's love.

A knock landed on the window, sending Adam's heart racing into his throat. He had forgotten where they were. Adam's rapid heart rate didn't slow at the sight of Quentin and Snow waiting for their attention. Goddamn. He hadn't thought far enough ahead on how to deal with Pink's dads and his employer. Adam had wanted to be sure Pink actually wanted to be with him before upending his life. It seemed that option was out the window. Pink hit the button to roll down the window. He didn't look anywhere near as panicked as Adam felt.

Snow stayed stoic at Quentin's back.

Quentin looked between them. "I assume this means you'll be moving back home now."

A nervous-sounding chuckle burst from Pink. "I don't know. Um. I haven't thought that far ahead. Maybe. Most likely."

Quentin nodded. His gaze moved Adam's way. "I want to speak to you privately at some point tonight."

Pink seemed to shake off his fog. "No. I'm grown. This is a decision I made for myself."

Quentin flashed Pink a fatherly smile. "I'm aware. There was no missing the way you tried consuming Adam a minute ago. We still have things to discuss."

Pink blushed.

Adam stepped in. No one should embarrass Pink for showing his feelings without shame. "We'll talk. I won't give up Pink, though. I'm sorry, but that's just not an option."

A kind smile turned Adam's way. "Don't worry. I would never ask that of you, but we'll still be having a chat."

Adam gave Quentin a sharp nod. "Fair enough, then."

Quentin's gaze moved between them one more time. "Okay, then. See you two later." He took Snow's hand, and they headed inside the restaurant.

Pink dropped his forehead to Adam's chest. "Oh my God. Please tell me that didn't happen."

A laugh rose in his throat. Adam couldn't hold it back. Happiness poured from him. "Well, that'll teach us, won't it? Next time, wait until we're in private."

Pink's laughing gaze lifted and met his stare. "You know what this means, right?"

Adam's eyebrows rose.

Pink's smile grew. "Snow and Quentin aren't home."

Hunger slammed into Adam. "Put your seatbelt on."

Pink scrambled into the passenger seat and snapped his belt in place. Adam pointed the SUV toward home. He had plans for Pink. This time, no one would run.