Chapter Four

The house felt like a tomb. Then again, Adam wasn't sure it wasn't his hollowed heart that made it seem that way. He hadn't seen Pink all day. Adam told himself Pink had school. They would have time to talk later. Adam would get the chance to explain he had been drunk last night. He needed to make Pink understand he was twice Pink's age. Adam didn't want to be like the men who had hurt Pink. He loved Pink. But he couldn't make himself be magically undamaged, and Pink deserved better.

The time for Pink to be home came and went. Pink didn't appear. Normally, Adam would have heard from Pink three times about nothing by now. He had expected the silence. Adam couldn't forget the hurt in Pink's eyes. But Adam hadn't expected Pink to avoid coming home at all.

Dinner came. Adam made his way to the dining room. Everyone seemed oddly subdued. Adam wondered if his guilt made it feel that way.

He made it exactly two minutes into dinner before he broke. Adam leaned Snow's way. "Where's Pink tonight?"

Snow's hazel gaze moved his way. Adam felt in his soul Snow knew about them. "He's decided to stay with a friend for a while."

Fuck. Adam didn't know what to do. He needed to know more. "Why?" Thankfully, the question came out sounding confused rather than giving away the way Adam felt like he couldn't breathe.

Quentin's blue gaze locked on Adam.

Adam tried to keep his expression neutral. He nearly breathed a sigh of relief when Quentin answered, as if he saw nothing wrong with discussing the topic with Adam.

"I thought he texted you his every thought."

Adam forced a fake chuckle. "Obviously not every thought."

Unfortunately, Quentin didn't laugh. He looked upset, making Adam realize the true reason everyone walked on eggshells. No one could stand Quentin being hurt. Quentin made a gesture like he had nothing. "He just said he needs some space, and it has nothing to do with us."

Adam's gaze moved Snow's way.

A muscle in Snow's jaw ticked. He wasn't looking at anyone. Adam rubbed his chest. He knew where Snow's head was. Pink had already tried taking his own life once and nearly succeeded. Snow couldn't save him this time if Pink pulled away and disappeared.

"How worried should I be?" Adam wouldn't mince words.

Snow made a helpless gesture.

Adam hated himself more in that moment than he ever had. He had known Pink struggled with his mental health, and he had taken a sledgehammer to everything with his stupid lust. If he could just talk to Pink.

"Who's this friend?" Even Adam heard how cockney his accent went, proving how upset he was. He always tried hard to smooth his accent. Not tonight. His voice betrayed him.

"Some guy named Knight."

Adam's eye twitched. He didn't know who this Knight guy really was, but Adam would find out. Adam would find Pink and drag him home. They would work this out and everything would go back to normal. Quentin and Snow would have their son back. Pink would return to his safe and steady home. Adam would suffer until the day he died. The way God intended. People like him didn't get a happily ever after. Pink would, though, if it was the last thing Adam did.

With his mind locked on making plans, the table slowly cleared until only Adam and Royal remained with his untouched plate. The weight of Royal's stare finally penetrated Adam's fog. He turned his head. With his elbow on the table, Royal had his chin propped up by his fist as he openly watched Adam. His gray eyes were almost eerie. He was one of the many who had come through the house over the years that didn't try too hard to endear themselves.

"What?"

Royal shrugged. "I'm waiting to hear your plan."

"About what?"

Royal ignored the way Adam played dumb. "You love Pink. Pink loves you. He's moved out and you're trying to decide how to handle that. I'm betting your plan is dumb."

Adam fought the urge to lash out. He wanted someone to feel the way he did. Empty. Angry. Isolated. "Don't be stupid. Pink doesn't love me, and he hasn't moved. You heard Quentin. He's staying with a friend. Why would I do anything about that?"

"Hmmm." Royal leaned back in his chair. "I didn't hear a denial about you loving Pink. But I did hear a bunch of bullshit about Pink not loving you. If you believe that, you're even dumber than I thought… or blind. Not that it matters. All his stuff is gone. That sounds like moving out to me. So, again, I'm interested to hear your plan."

Adam looked away, returning to his thoughts. He didn't have to entertain this. Quentin said Pink was going to a friend's. He didn't say anything about moving. Adam sure as hell trusted Quentin over this guy. Except Snow and Quentin had looked a little too upset over Pink's absence. That didn't sound like a weekend with a friend.

Royal pulled out his phone. "Fine. I'll save you a little time and trouble." He clicked around for a second before reading aloud. "Knight Blankenship. Thirty-two-year-old retired Special Forces officer. No idea how many operations he ran since that's classified, but he has a Purple Heart. Nowadays, he teaches art at the local community college with a heavy emphasis on sculpture. His record and life are squeaky clean." Royal set his phone aside. "On a personal note, I talked to him when he was here last night. He was very unconcerned about you as competition. In fact, he looked downright cocky." Royal stood. "It seems he was right to be. Pink is the only one of you two who's brave enough to reach for what he wants, and now he's gone." Without looking back, Royal left Adam alone with his pain.

As much as Adam wanted to yell and rage, Royal was right. Pink was so much stronger and braver than Adam had ever been. He wanted to live again. Decades of freedom, and Adam still didn't know how. That meant he had to leave Pink alone to find his happiness without Adam's interference. What a fucking nightmare.

Knight's house was nicer than Pink expected. He had always heard bad things about a teacher's salary. He wasn't surprised by how much art Knight owned, though. Knight seemed to genuinely love finding the beauty in things.

Mentally and physically, Pink was exhausted. Knight had stayed up the entire night with Pink, listening to the horrors of his life. He hadn't judged. Knight had also been surprisingly unsurprised to learn places like the academy existed. It seemed he had been part of the special forces in another life and had seen horrible things. He, too, knew what humans were capable of doing. Pink couldn't explain it, since Knight was nowhere near the first to know his story, but Pink felt unburdened in a way he hadn't before. Maybe because Knight didn't see him as a child. He recognized Pink was a man now. Just one with an ugly past. Knight also hadn't looked at him differently afterward. That shifted something in the way Pink looked at him.

Knight asked Pink to stay and separate himself from a home that never stopped reminding him of the past. They had spent a couple of hours discussing it. Pink had to admit all Knight's arguments rang true. At Quentin's, he wasn't leaving anything behind. Not really. He stayed immersed in his old self every day. So he agreed. One quick call later, Royal had delivered his things. Pink had chosen Royal because he knew the guy didn't care about him. He had known Royal wouldn't argue. In fact, for whatever reason, Pink had a suspicion Royal would be glad to see him gone. None of that mattered anymore. He now had a place with Knight.

"Are you ready to go?"

Pink tore his gaze away from a painting of two faceless girls passing a red and white beach ball. He focused on Knight. In a tank top and shorts, a lot of delicious muscle was on display. Pink had to admit, Knight turned heads. It made Pink's chest swell with pride, thinking Knight would choose him if Pink was whole enough to choose him back.

He nodded and took Knight's outstretched hand. Together, they headed to Knight's already loaded truck. Panama City Beach was only about three and a half hours away, but Pink looked forward to the trip. He hadn't been on an actual vacation in… well, ever. They were cutting out on school a little early for the year. That time wouldn't harm either of them. Knight had vacation time saved. As long as Pink passed the certification test, he would be fine. They were good to go. He had never felt more normal.

Pink took over the radio the moment they were on the road. "What type of music do you like?"

Knight kept his gaze locked on driving. "Anything. You pick. I've been all over the world, listening to several cultures' music. There's nothing I can't tolerate."

A laugh burst from Pink. "I don't want you to just tolerate it."

"What's your favorite genre of music?"

Pink rolled his eyes. Knight seemed determined not to pick. "I've only been exposed to most of the music from the past three years. I'm not the expert here."

Knight smiled. It was a gorgeous sight. Pink wished he could love him. Life would be so much easier. "Fine. Find us a nineties station."

With a nod, Pink paired his phone with the radio and searched the genre. He found a nineties greatest hits station and hit play.

The first song was fast and happy with lots of guitar and drums. Knight sang along. Pink watched him. He was such a good and happy person—like a ray of sunshine. A blessing.

Knight glanced his way, catching him staring. He laughed. "What? Is my singing that bad?"

A smile exploded across Pink's face. "No. I was thinking how lucky I am we met. Thank you for being you."

Knight's expression changed, turning almost sad. He steered into the gas station. Without a word, he circled the truck and put the gas nozzle in the tank. Pink watched him in the side mirror and wondered what he had said wrong. After locking the nozzle in place, letting the truck automatically fill, Knight moved to his door and opened it.

He took Pink's hand. "Come here."

Even though he didn't know what was happening, Pink unbuckled his seat belt and slipped from the truck. The huge vehicle hid them from sight. Before Pink knew what to expect, Knight's body molded against his.

"Knight?"

At the sound of his name, Knight slowly backed away, as if he hated giving up Pink's body, as a man came into sight. He was dark-haired and all smiles. Pink had an odd thought. He looked like a surfer. His hair was windblown and his skin tanned. He was built similar to Knight.

A bright smile lit Knight's face. "Cannon. Oh my god. It's been forever." The pair hugged one of those deep embraces, where they patted each other too hard on the back.

When they pulled away, Knight's friend's—who Pink assumed was Cannon—eyes flickered Pink's way. For a moment, recognition flared in his gaze, and a bad feeling rose in Pink's gut. The only way Cannon would know him would be from Bare Studs. It wasn't like Pink could recall every man he gave a lap dance, but they would have no trouble recalling him. His certainty on the matter doubled when Cannon immediately hid his reaction.

Knight turned Pink's way and waved him forward. "This is my friend, Pink. Pink, this is Cannon. We served in the military together."

Pink pasted on a small smile and nodded. "It's nice to meet you." He didn't offer his hand. Pink didn't like to be touched by strange men. Thankfully, Cannon didn't try.

"You too." His gaze moved back Knight's way. "What are you two up to today?"

"We're headed to Panama City for a week."

Cannon smiled. He looked friendly. Pink hoped he would go away soon. "That sounds awesome. I haven't been there in years. I'm just running in here real quick to grab a drink before I get back to work. You two have fun on your trip." His gaze moved between them again before settling on Knight. "Call me when you get back." Cannon sounded almost cryptic. "It's important, okay?"

Pink's heart fell. No doubt Cannon planned to warn Knight about him, in case Knight didn't know Pink used to strip. He took a step back, hoping no one noticed him slipping away while they finished their conversation. The pair hugged again, and Cannon headed for the store. Before Pink made it back inside the truck, Knight turned his way. He immediately backed Pink against the vehicle again.

"Back to where we were."

His mouth covered Pink's before Pink fully understood where things were headed. Pink's head tilted and his mouth opened, accepting the kiss. He didn't know why he didn't deny Knight. There was no passion, but there was tons of skill. Without thinking, his hands found the hard pads of Knight's chest. Instead of pushing him away, Pink's hands slid upward until they met behind Knight's neck. It hit him. He trusted Knight. Pink knew this wouldn't go beyond a kiss. Knight's hands stayed respectfully on either side of him on the truck, keeping him pinned in place without actually touching him.

The lock on the gas nozzle popped, bringing Pink back to reality. Knight pulled away. His heated gaze stared down at Pink. Pink's breath caught.

"Still just friends, I know. But I'm here if you ever want more. You're not the one who's lucky we met."

With those words ringing in Pink's ears, Knight moved away to finish his purchase. Pink climbed back into the truck with his head spinning. For a critical moment, Pink hated that he loved Adam. That love poisoned everything good. Now he was just empty.