Chapter 8

Zerien

A s our vessel began its descent over the landing pad of the palace, my heart sank at the sight of the greeting party awaiting me. Granted, a much smaller number of people had congregated there than if Siona had been present, but in my current state of mind, it was still way too many. To my dismay, I noticed the wretched presence of Lucius Feydar, the head of the Senate, alongside a handful of other Senators and my father's Council.

Lucius was one of my most ardent detractors. Like my sister, Jastira, he disagreed with my unwavering refusal to ally in any way, shape, or form with the Guldans. More than once, he brought up the fact that my soulmate being of Guldan origin was further proof that Fate intended for our two people to be bound. That argument resonated with many of the people opposing my current stance on the matter.

I wondered if he was a part of the rebellion attempting to overthrow my rule. He certainly tried to undermine any of my efforts and policies at every turn. For all that, I didn't believe him capable of treason any more than my sister.

That didn't stop me from keeping a very close eye on both of them.

But right this instant, I could have really done without the needling and confrontation that would inevitably ensue the minute I stepped outside of the vessel.

The ramp lowered, and I disembarked, closely shadowed by Drade and Naax. My chest warmed as my father immediately approached with an affectionate smile. He looked so incredibly regal with his white ruvyn embroidered with gold threads. The traditional Sarenian garb consisting of a long, ornate skirt and a sleeveless, skin-tight top, with a deep, V-shaped collar, hid nothing of his muscular yet slender body. At forty-eight, my father looked more like my older brother than my genitor. Considering how young our people usually sired their first offspring, this wasn't surprising.

That he would relinquish his crown to me before he even reached fifty—a Sarenian's official age of maturity—spoke volumes of how much he believed in me being the best person to lead us through the impending war.

Not for the first time, I wondered if he misplaced that blind trust.

"My son, welcome home," my father said before giving me a brief embrace.

"Thank you, Father," I replied while returning the gesture.

He pulled away but kept his hands on my shoulders as he studied my features. "I hope you had a good journey back?"

I smiled, understanding his underlying meaning as to whether the last couple of days had helped me find some sense of peace and sufficiently regain my composure to tackle the shitshow that awaited me here.

"Yes. It was decent enough," I said, earning me a glimmer of approval. "But I can't deny I'm glad to be home."

And that was truthful. Being trapped on that ship with nothing but my somber thoughts had felt like the worst of all prisons. Here at least, I could lose myself in work, touring the adoption centers, and hopefully even get to unleash my wrath on whatever rebels we might get our hands on.

"It is indeed good to have you back, my Prince," Lucius called out, ruining the moment. "But why so soon? And where's your mate?" he added, stretching his neck to look over my shoulder for someone he knew damn well wasn't present.

Although I slightly clenched my teeth, I plastered a neutral—if somewhat bored—expression on my face as I glanced left towards him.

"My Siona was detained," I said in a non-committal fashion.

"Detained?" he echoed with an exaggerated air of surprise. "By what?"

"Personal matters," I replied stiffly.

"Such as what?" he insisted, seriously pissing me off.

"The Prince said it was personal matters, which are clearly none of your business, Senator," Kaelin interjected in a clipped tone.

My heart warmed for my best friend and Head of my Council. Looking at her, most people would only see a stunning young female instead of the fiercely loyal and utterly ruthless mastermind behind that delicate appearance.

"The future Queen is a State matter," Lucius countered with a haughty tone. "Her continued absence a handful of weeks before the coronation is becoming concerning."

"When I have information necessary to be shared with the Senate, I will. Until then, there is nothing to discuss."

Lucius opened his mouth to argue further, but I didn't give him the opportunity.

"The future Queen is well. Even though it will greatly sadden you to hear it, I'm happy to report that our alliances with the Braxians and Veredians are still thriving. Thank you for greeting me upon my return. But if you will excuse me, I must meet with my Council and get updates from the Secret Service about the traitors in our midst."

Lucius bristled at my direct barb regarding his reluctance to ally with the Braxians, but even more so at the pointed look I gave him while mentioning the traitors. I still had no idea whether such a label applied to him, but I never missed an opportunity to remind him I had my eyes on him as his behavior raised many unsettling questions.

Without waiting for his response. I marched towards the entrance of the palace, my father to my left, Kaelin to my right, both our Council members—or at least the few who had shown up—following in our wake, and our guards closing the march.

However, I didn't miss the way my sister narrowed her eyes at me when I dodged Lucius's question. As a member of my Council, she would need to be informed of the situation with Siona. I groaned inwardly at the earful that would inevitably ensue. Although Jastira acknowledged that Siona was my soulmate, she challenged having her as my Queen instead of merely a concubine. Like many, my sister believed a Sarenian female should sit on the throne.

Forcing myself to adopt a relaxed and dignified pace instead of running out of there as I ached to do, I made my way to my personal quarters. They were in fact an entire wing of the palace, including nine rooms as well as a private garden. My father and Kaelin accompanied me while our respective Councils went off to the meeting rooms where we would gather momentarily.

"I'm sorry for this annoyingly large welcoming party," my father said in an apologetic tone as soon as the doors closed behind us in my entrance hall, right next to my formal sitting area. The latter mostly served to entertain guests, and a second one was reserved for me personally or people from my inner circle.

"There's no need to apologize, Father," I said reassuringly while continuing on to the formal sitting area. "I badly wanted to just sneak back in, but hiding would have raised far too many suspicions… even more than there already are."

"Agreed," Kaelin said. "But that still doesn't stop me from itching to slap that idiot."

I snorted, and my father chuckled as he cast an affectionate and amused glance at her. We entered the secondary living area. The tension stiffening my back immediately lessened upon finding myself surrounded by the comforting, familiar space. The pale sandstone palette of the stone walls, the light pastel colors of the furniture, and the tall pillars leading to the wide balcony overlooking my private inner garden wrapped me in a sorely needed sense of peace.

I all but let myself drop onto one of the wide couches facing the breathtaking view of the courtyard. Kaelin settled in the plush chair across from me, but my father remained standing, his hands clasped behind his back as he also gazed outside. The warm mid-afternoon sun flooded the room with light.

"Unfortunately, now that he has a new bone to chew on, Lucius will be relentless," I said grimly.

"He will be," my father conceded. "Thankfully, we're setting off on that tour first thing in the morning. His senatorial duties will not allow him to tag along. So however much noise he makes, you won't have to put up with it, and people will merely see it as more of his usual annoying antics. You remaining here and giving nothing but evasive answers would be a lot more damaging."

"I couldn't agree more," I said, still irritated by the obnoxious male.

"Any word from Siona?" Kaelin asked, her voice soft but her stare intense.

My shoulders slumped, and I heaved a sigh. "Not a word. Not the slightest message. I keep wondering if maybe I should be the one to reach out to her first. After all, I'm the one who left. But to tell her what?"

"That you love her?" my father suggested in a way that implied it should be self-evident.

Although I nodded, my face clearly said I wasn't convinced. "I have considered it more than once. But I fear she would perceive it as me pressuring her. I want her to come because she wants to, not because she feels compelled to. Until I have an alternative to offer, I don't see how any communication won't be perceived as pressure tactics or me trying to guilt trip her."

"I agree," Kaelin said softly but firmly. "You should wait until after the tour ends. It will only last five days. By then, you will hopefully have great news to share, removing the main pressure or burden which seems to be the deal breaker for her."

My father pursed his lips, clearly disagreeing. "I'm not convinced that messaging her would be as harmful as you anticipate. She's young and undoubtedly as heartbroken as you are. Reassuring her of your continued affection could go a long way in helping mend the rift. But I will defer to your judgment."

"I will sleep on it," I said, deeply conflicted.

He opened his mouth, but his com chiming cut him off. He glanced at it, frowned, then gave me a look both apologetic and annoyed.

"I must go. Welcome home, Son. Do not be disheartened. Everything will work out the way it is meant to."

He approached me and gave my left shoulder a comforting squeeze before heading out of the room. As soon as the door closed behind him, I glanced at Kaelin, who was studying me with her legendary unreadable expression.

I gave her a disillusioned smile. "You called it," I said with self-derision.

She gave me a sympathetic smile. "I expected drama. But I never expected this . How are you feeling?"

"Heartbroken. I never thought anything could hurt this much," I replied, forcing myself to smile even as I felt as if scorching hot serrated blades were lacerating my heart. "I keep wondering how I didn't see any of this coming. Could I have handled it better? Maybe I should have stayed there and tried to work things out… tried to sway her. Then again, maybe she's right. Maybe I'm expecting too much from her, too early in our union."

"The war is nearly upon us!" Kaelin interjected, stunned.

"Yes, but Siona made a valid point. Whether she gives me an heir in three months or in a year, by the time the Great War begins, our child will still be an infant. What difference does it make whether he is two years old instead of one?"

"The difference is that without an heir, your reign will end before it even begins," Kaelin said sternly. "You have too many detractors, Zee. Our people are still reeling over you not only agreeing to a conditional peace with the Korletheans, but actually bringing a few of them to sit in your court."

"There was a very good reason for that!" I exclaimed.

"I'm not disputing that. As much as I hate the Korletheans, I agree with the decision you made. But most of our people don't. You shun the Guldans yet plan on marrying one. Once the people find out she doesn't want to bear you children, they will rise up and say you've grown too soft to lead them to the greatest war in generations!" she said forcefully.

"You think I don't know that?" I snapped. "You think those thoughts have not been torturing me ever since she and I had this fight? Right now, I should be living the happiest moments with the love of my life. Instead, I'm sitting here resenting the throne I've spent my entire life preparing for. It hurts, Kaelin. I miss her. I miss her so much, I can't breathe."

My voice broke on those last words. A pain too much to bear cut through my chest. My vision blurred, and a sound I last made more than ten years ago when my mother passed escaped me. Something broke inside me as tears freely started pouring down my face.

"Zerien, no!" Kaelin exclaimed in a whisper.

Shock, horror, and disbelief filled her voice. Seconds later, her arms wrapped around me. I drew her into my embrace, buried my face in her neck, and cried every tear in my body. It shamed me to display such weakness, and yet I couldn't stop.

Holding me in silence, Kaelin caressed my hair and my back while I continued bawling helplessly on her shoulder. I couldn't say how long it lasted, not that it mattered. A single second of making such a spectacle of myself had been too long already.

Mortified, I pulled her away from her embrace and wiped my face. "I'm sorry," I said, refusing to meet her gaze.

"Zerien, look at me," she ordered, her voice stern and commanding.

Shocked, my eyes flicked towards her with a will of their own. I couldn't remember the last time she had addressed me in such a fashion.

"Don't you ever apologize for showing vulnerability in front of me. I'm here for you. If you need to cry, then do so. Don't let it fester. Just make sure no one else but your father and I—and eventually Siona—ever see you this way."

Shame still burning my gut, I gave her a sad smile. "I guess I'm not so strong after all," I said in self-derision.

"On the contrary," she said with a conviction that took me aback. "You are the strongest, fiercest, and most ruthless male I know. There's a reason you're our future Emperor. Today, you've simply shown that deep inside the alpha predator there also is a heart. And that is why you will be the greatest Emperor to ever sit on the Sarenian throne. Whatever it takes, I will see to it that you rule our planet with your soulmate by your side. You will lead us through the Great War and to victory. This, I pledge."

Another wave of emotion threatened to engulf me. I swallowed past the lump swelling in my throat and gently caressed her face.

"I love you, Kaelin."

The glimmer of affection in her silver-gray eyes swiftly gave way to mischief. "Of course you do. Not only am I fucking awesome, I'm also the most loyal friend you'll ever have. Now go clean yourself up while I change out of this soaked dress. We have a meeting to attend, and your sister's going to make it insufferable."

I snorted even as I groaned inwardly. A tender smile played on my lips as I watched her strut her way out of my quarters with her usual provocatively sensual gait. Shaking my head, I headed to the hygiene room to freshen up.

T hirteen days had gone by since I parted with Siona—twelve days that felt like twelve years. And yet, the pain of our separation remained raw and unrelenting. Putting up a happy front and maintaining a nonchalant demeanor as if all was well with the world was proving more and more excruciating every day. Whatever the outcome of this so far pointless tour, I would go back to get my female as soon as we were done.

We had two more days to go. If I left immediately after, I could go to Venus Hive, convince her to come back with me, and return home in time for my coronation. It would be a close call, but I could make it. If she had gone back to Braxia, it would make it nearly impossible to be back in time but fuck it. The coronation would have to wait. I refused to live without my Siona any longer.

Our shuttle settled on the landing pad of the fourth adoption center in just as many days. The excitement I felt on the first couple of days faded only to be gradually replaced by a sense of doom and increasing anxiety.

I had visited with hundreds of children, their adorable little faces lighting up to receive the attention of their Emperor and Crown Prince. Despite the genuine joy that seeing so many of our young happy and thriving, my heart broke a bit more each time as the connection I so desperately wanted systematically failed to manifest itself.

Following the experiment performed on us, both Sarenians and Veredians inherited the Korlethean trait that allowed us to instantly feel the connection with blood relatives as well as recognizing our soulmates. For the latter, Sarenians and Veredians instantly felt a pressure at the back of our napes the moment we were within range of our soulmates. My people additionally had the ability to actually see the Tuning of two souls in perfect harmony. But for blood relatives, it was a clutching sensation at the chest level, as if her hand had reached inside our chest to clutch at our hearts. The closer the blood tie, the stronger the reaction.

In that sense, the last few days had been bittersweet. While I had not found any offspring of my own, two of my guards had connected with theirs.

As an amphibian species, our females gave birth to our tadpoles in a river at the end of the third month of gestation. For the following six months, the tadpole would grow on its own in the water, only beginning the journey to the closest adoption center once it was ready to shed the sack that formerly formed its tail and begin using its legs. It was an instinctive process.

The Matriarchs and Patriarchs running the shelters would take in the infants once they had climbed their way out of the water and up the small hill to the shelter. There, other Matriarchs and Patriarchs looking for more younglings to raise would come to select their new wards. Infants rarely remained more than a week or two in the center before they found a home.

In the years that followed, their adoptive parents would take them to a series of predetermined locations where the younglings were most likely to reconnect with their biological parents. On average, such a reunion occurred between the ages of eight and eleven.

The adoption center facilities otherwise served as primary schools where those same adopted children would attend classes.

Repressing a sigh, I walked down the ramp with my father by my side. Matriarch Ilora approached us with a huge smile that I couldn't help but to return. It always amused me to have these older females look at my father and I with such awe. Then again, being closer to their age, my father retained most of their attention, which was even more amusing to me.

"Emperor Nemrox, Crown Prince Zerien, it is such a tremendous honor to receive you at our center. I am Matriarch Ilora. I'll be your host today," she said in a voice shaking with excitement.

Judging by the daintier size of her fins—the long appendages that grew on our backs once we reached full maturity at the age of fifty, and which allowed us to glide on air currents and to swim faster on the water—Ilora had to be in her early fifties.

"Thank you for your warm welcome, Ilora," my father said with that seductive smile that had the poor Matriarch looking weak in the knees. "But please, call me Nemrox."

I bit the inside of my cheeks not to smile in amusement. He wouldn't seduce her. Judging by the bracelet on her arm, she belonged to a pod—a standard polyamory unit of one Matriarch and usually three to four Patriarchs. But this basic interaction constituted a great compliment to the female targeted. She would undoubtedly go home and tell her mates and friends how the Emperor himself had flirted with her.

"You honor me, Emp… Nemrox," she said, her cheeks darkening with the loveliest blush. "The children are incredibly excited to meet the two of you. It has been too long since we've had such a pleasure."

"It's been too long indeed," my father replied.

"Please, this way," Ilora said, gesturing at the tall gate ahead, leading to the sports field at the back of the center. "The little ones have been rehearsing feverishly since we announced your visit."

As was tradition, the children would perform a little show for us involving dance, singing, and in some cases athletic or acrobatic demonstrations. Snacks and refreshments would then be served while my father and I mingled with the children for a couple of hours.

"I'm certain it will be spectacu—"

My steps faltered, and my right hand flew to my chest under the unexpected squeezing sensation. My father and Ilora turned to look at me inquisitively when I stopped mid-sentence.

"Zerien?" my father said.

I glanced at him, the shock I felt suddenly reflecting on his face as the same realization dawned on us. An air of pure joy descended over his features.

"Are you feeling the bond?" he asked, hope filling his voice.

"Yes," I breathed out. "Yes, I do!"

Still clutching my chest, I looked back at the gate before starting to run towards the courtyard.

"My Prince!" Drade called out behind me.

The sound of his footsteps chasing after me resonated loudly in my back, but I only slowed down and then stopped when the gate opened, and a small figure burst out. The squeezing sensation multiplied a thousandfold as the most beautiful little boy stepped out of the courtyard. His skin was a very pale shade of blue, his eyes, the same silver-blue color as mine, and my midnight-blue hair. The small tips of his still growing horns glimmered under the bright light of the early-morning sun.

He stopped dead in his tracks. Eyes wide, he fisted the belt of his black toga uniform. His lips parted in shock, and then a huge smile settled on his perfect little face.

"Papa!" he called out before starting to run again.

This snapped me out of my dazed trance, and I raced towards him as well, meeting him halfway. He threw himself into my arms. I caught his small body and squeezed him into a bone crushing hug.

"My son!" I whispered.

He returned my embrace with all the strength of his little arms. A groundswell of emotions rushed through me as we held each other, cheeks against cheek. Something settled inside me, and the pressure in my chest receded now that the bond was confirmed. With much reluctance, I pulled away to look at his perfect little face. I stared in awe, recognizing so many of my features in him when I was around that same age.

The silliest pride surged within me at the sight of the perfect little horns poking out of his forehead. On average, Sarenians had eight of them, which almost formed a crown. But judging by their tight spacing, Eldrin likely possessed ten or eleven of them. Our people considered that a sign of strength, power, and leadership.

He giggled when I covered his face with a few kisses before putting him back onto his feet and then crouching in front of him.

"My perfect son," I whispered with wonder, both of my hands resting on his upper arms as I examined him from head to toe. "What is your name?"

"My name is Eldrin. I'm seven and a half years old," he said, his silver-blue eyes sparkling with happiness. "I can't believe the Crown Prince is my father!"

"I am," I said with a silly chuckle. "Which makes you a little prince, too! There is so much—"

My voice trailed off, and I gave him an inquisitive look when he frowned and rubbed his chest, as if dealing with a persistent discomfort. He blinked, peered at me in confusion, then stretched his neck to glance over my shoulder. His jaw dropped, and his eyes widened. Baffled, I turned to see what had caught his attention. To my shock, Kaelin was standing five meters away, next to my father, her right hand clutching her chest as she gaped at Eldrin and me.

"No way!" I whispered disbelievingly.

"Mama?" Eldrin said, his voice hesitant.

Too stunned to speak, my head jerked between the two of them as this nearly impossible reality sank in. Kaelin's lips quivered, and she nodded before rushing towards us. I remained in my crouching position, staring numbly as they embraced.

I knew Kaelin had children. If memory served me right, she had given birth to six offspring over the years. The last time she and I had been intimate dated back a little over eight years ago—more than two years before Siona and I met. That meant we would have conceived our son in those final days.

What were the odds?!

It suddenly struck me how stupid of me not to have considered that possibility. And yet, there couldn't have been a better outcome. Kaelin fully supported me. She wouldn't attempt to use our son as leverage to undermine Siona's position, unlike other females might.

My heart swelling with hope, I closed the distance with the two of them. Kaelin and I exchanged a look. The same pride and deep affection I felt was mirrored in her eyes. We smiled at each other.

"Thank you," I said with deep gratitude before kissing her forehead. She beamed at me, and together, we hugged our son.

"Such a perfect match," Jastira suddenly said behind us, breaking the magic of the moment. "This is exactly the outcome we needed."

I stiffened as I glanced at my sister.

"Jastira," my father said in a stern voice as he glanced at her.

She lifted her chin defiantly. "Our people love Kaelin. She's smart, strong, and from one of the purest and most powerful bloodlines of Sarenia. She would make a perfect Queen. And many hoped for such a union."

"Absolutely not!" Kaelin exclaimed, as if my sister had said something obscene.

"Ouch?!" I said, glancing at her with a pretend hurt expression.

She gave me the least sincere apologetic look. "I'm sorry, Zee. I love you, but I'll never marry you—not that you asked."

"Still ouch," I replied teasingly, before winking at her.

Kaelin smiled before glancing at my sister. "Six years ago, I might have considered it, but now never." She turned back to study my face wistfully. "I want a male to look at me with that same expression you get whenever you think of your Siona. I want the male Fate destined for me and refuse to be settled on. Anyway, turning your back on your soulmate is a crime against the gods and Fate herself."

Jastira waved a disdainful hand. "No one asked him to cast to her side. You can be Queen while she's his concubine. Pods are a thing among her people, remember?"

"For those who want them. I will never be one of them, nor will Zerien," Kaelin said sternly before turning to our son. "Never settle and never accept to be settled on, okay?"

"Never settle," he repeated with a conviction that made me smile and filled my heart with affection.

Kaelin and I both gave him another hug and a couple more kisses before introducing him to my father.

"My first grandchild," Father said proudly.

"Hello, Emperor Nemrox," Eldrin said timidly.

"No, Eldrin," Father said as he crouched before him. "You call me Grappa."

My throat tightened as I watched him draw my son into his arms and then glance up at me. Words were unnecessary. The look in his eyes screamed his pride in me and happiness for me. To him, this was confirmation of all he had always believed would come to pass for me—confirmation that I was indeed the chosen one as each piece of the puzzle fell into place.

After releasing my son, my father turned to Kaelin. He cupped her face between his hands and tenderly kissed her forehead.

"You always come through for us," he said softly. "You may not be my blood, but you truly are a daughter to me."

As much as his words pleased me, I didn't miss the way Jastira rolled her eyes upon hearing them. Jealousy didn't prompt that reaction. She simply had very different views on how we should handle politics. In more ways than one, my father's statement couldn't be more accurate. Kaelin was more a daughter to him than my sister ever would be.

That divergence of opinion was one of the main reasons she sat on my Council. You needed someone to challenge your views to make sure you didn't fall into complacency. Although our personalities definitely didn't align, I trusted she had the best interest of the empire in mind.

"My house has always served the throne," Kaelin said to my father with a gentle smile. "I had not expected to serve this way, but I'm glad I did. I would give my life to protect your son's reign."

"I know that, and thank you for it," he replied. "Siona will need you when she gets here."

My heart sank when Kaelin pursed her lips before giving him a stiff nod. "I will do what I must."

"You will love her," I said gently.

My heart sank further at the quickly repressed glimmer of doubt in her eyes.

"She's my best friend's soulmate. So you must be right," she said in a neutral tone.

"I definitely am," I said with conviction before turning back to our son. "I want nothing more than to bring you to the palace with me. But you and your friends have prepared a presentation for us, haven't you?"

He nodded frantically in a way that was beyond adorable. "We did! We worked really hard!"

"Then let's go see it!" I said gently.

The guards—who had been keeping the Matriarch at a certain distance from us while we made my son's acquaintance—allowed her to rejoin us. She fussed excitedly to have witnessed that reunion. That, too, made me chuckle. The lovely female would have many tales to recount to her friends, including the fact her establishment had mentored the Crown Prince's heir.

We settled into the VIP box of the courtyard. For the next hour, we were entertained by a series of delightful performances by the children. To my shame, I would only focus when my little Eldrin was involved. Otherwise, my mind would wander off to my mate. I was dying to leave this place and go break the news to her.

Halfway through the show, Drade approached me.

"My Prince, we received a com request from Siona. We informed her that you were currently otherwise engaged but that you would call her back as soon as you were done," Drade said.

My heart leapt. "A com request, not a message?"

"A vidcom request, to be more specific," Drade amended. "The message emanated from a ship. Judging by the strength of the signal, she must be less than two days away from Sarenia."

My brain froze.

Less than two days away?!

My female was coming here. Did that mean she had chosen us over her misgivings?

"Thank you," I said.

Drade nodded before making himself scarce again. The rest of the show and of the event dragged on endlessly. The only thing that now mattered to me was talking to my soulmate.