Chapter 54

Chapter Fifty-Four

When will you finally realize it?

I would have preferred to end the evening with you last night instead of showing your daughter around my house and listening to her chatter about her many interior design ideas. If I’d known that I’d be tying her to my leg and wouldn’t be able to get rid of her, I would have stayed out of it. But I felt sorry for her, and especially for you, yesterday. Fuck, Beauty! When are you going to realize it…?

I wanted to beat the shit out of him for the way he treated you and your daughter so badly yesterday. And in front of a stranger. You don’t deserve that, Beauty. You need a man by your side who won’t embarrass you and who will care for you every single day—every fucking second. Always. Anytime!

That’s why I had to step in and offer June this job—to help her gain independence from her tyrannical father. I understand what it’s like to be coerced and constrained, forced into a narrow mold meant for you, no matter how much it digs into your flesh, squeezes you in, and robs you of the air you need to breathe.

But still, I have to say I’m disappointed, Beauty. I had expected you to come to me at night and reward me for how well-behaved I was at dinner. After all, I kept my fingers to myself almost the entire time, even though it was almost impossible because you are fucking perfect. I just have to touch and kiss you when you’re near me. I have to be close to you.

But you? You can just spend a whole day and evening pretending I’m not there. As if I— we —don’t exist. That makes me angry, Beauty, and I don’t want to get angry with you because then I might do something stupid. But I don’t want to be unreasonable with you. I don’t want to lose myself again in this raging anger that will take hold of me if you don’t calm me down. I am no longer that man. I can’t be around you anymore; otherwise, I’ll lose you, too, and I won’t be able to survive. I’d rather lay the world to waste before I have to be without you. So you have to stop making me so unspeakably angry.

For example, you shouldn’t spend another evening without me. But it’s about your daughter. I understand that. She’s important to you and, therefore, to me too. Still, I’m almost losing my mind because I miss you so terribly. That’s why I had to follow you. Now I’m sitting in the back row watching some tear-jerker movie you had to see. You’re torturing me, Beauty! But I know you’re worth every torture and every pain.

You’re sitting in the middle and seem to enjoy spending the day with your daughter. You’re beaming almost the whole time, and you laugh a lot. You are happy. I want you to be happy, but not without me! Beauty, this has to stop. I can’t keep shadowing you all day while you leave me hanging.

I’m neglecting my club and my regular clients who need training. But I can’t focus on them and their problems if I don’t know what you’re doing, how you’re doing, who you’re with, or when we’ll see each other next. Fuck! You make me a fucking junkie who’s nothing without his dope. And you’re my heroine, baby!

You’re eating popcorn and watching the movie with rapt attention, laughing softly whenever something funny happens. I haven’t seen a single second of the film because my eyes are fixed on you. I simply can’t look away. My mind is filled with images of what it would be like if you were sitting next to me. Back here in the last row. The two of us are all alone. Undisturbed.

I know exactly what I would do to you. You would have been told to wear a dress or a skirt. For what? You would have found out pretty quickly… Because I certainly wouldn’t have been able to keep my hands off you for three seconds after the light turn off.

I would get you really hot. Caress you and massage your sweet pussy until you are leaking for me. I’d sit you on my lap so you’d think you were just sitting here so you could see better.

I would push your panties to the side, open my pants and fuck you deeply but slowly so that no one would notice what I was doing to you. I would have to muffle your soft moans with my hand on your mouth. You would sit on my cock like a queen on her throne and ride me. Fuck!

Just the thought of your wet pussy screaming for me is enough to make me completely hard. My cock pulsates in my pants and demands attention. I adjust it in my jeans, but it only twitches so violently I can hardly stand it. I need to fill you up again, Beauty, and not be interrupted this time. Fuck! I can’t take it anymore!

My gaze fixes on you, and I scan everything you show me. Your elegant neck, which I want to bite into again and which is so beautifully exposed because you’ve put your hair up again. Your full lips, which I can only guess at because I’m sitting sideways behind you, entice me, and I finally want to see them around my cock. You as a goddess on your knees in front of me, your gaze that only sees me and your full lips as they play with my cock and my control. Because only you do, I allow you to drive me out of my mind.

I rub my hardness through my pants and grumble deeply. Shit! I’m going to squirt in my pants if I carry on like this. So, for better or worse, I have to get some relief on my own, at least for the moment. But don’t worry, Beauty. I’ll wait for you tonight.

I get up quietly and leave the movie theater to go to the bathroom because I have to take care of the problem in my pants if I don’t want to be arrested for causing a public disturbance. Again .

Once in the stall and the door locked behind me, I immediately unzip my pants and pull my throbbing cock out. There’s no one here; I don’t have to hold back.

My thoughts drift back to you, and I see you kneeling here and now in this little cubicle in front of me. You beg for my cock and finally take it between your beautiful lips.

“Fuck, Beauty!” I growl and claw at the top of the cubicle with one hand while my other hand moves faster and faster over my hardness.

But in my mind, you’re playing with my arousal by lapping at my tip with your tongue. You want to drive me even more crazy. Is that wise…? I already feel like the Mad Hatter who is losing his mind.

Moaning, I lean my head back and jerk off faster and faster, seeing your green eyes in front of me and how they look up at me, challenging me and showing me that I only belong to you. Burying my hand in your curls, I fuck you deep in your throat while you kneel in front of me and are completely at my mercy.

“Fuck!” I moan as I pour myself into the toilet, disappointed that it wasn’t your warm mouth that blissfully received my cum when I came back to reality.

“What kind of pervert are you?” I suddenly hear from behind the door.

I stow away my still hard cock, because it wasn’t allowed to come inside you and is therefore not satisfied before I flush and step out of the cubicle. A guy, maybe in his mid-thirties, stands in front of me and looks at me with a disgusted expression.

“Just fuck off!” I growl and realize how my mood is tipping more and more. Can you see it, Beauty? I’m losing myself more and more because of you!

“You should fuck off! What kind of person are you? Jerking off in the toilet and then…? Are you harassing women and raping them in a dark alley, or what? You’d better leave, or I’ll call the police, you pervert!” He won’t stop.

“What did you just say?” I spit angrily at him and grab him by the scruff of the neck, then bang his head hard against the sink.

I don’t want to fight, but I don’t like being lumped together with a rapist. I’ve never touched a woman against her will. Not even you, when I fucked you in your bed for the first time because I couldn’t take it anymore. Because you wanted it, you just didn’t know how to deal with it yet, so I simply decided for you. I gave you a few drops to make you sleepy and then gave you what you wanted. God, it felt good to finally fill you up and then fuck you in your marriage bed… It was the cherry on top of the cake.

I keep banging this jerk’s head against the sink until, at some point, his legs give way and he collapses. Gasping, I look down at him and see the blood running all over the white tiles. It seeps quickly from the laceration on his forehead and shows me I should get the fuck out of there as soon as possible.

There you have it, Beauty! That’s what happens when you leave me out in the cold. I lose myself and do bad things. But I’m not that guy anymore.

After I make sure to get out unseen, I wait for you at home. I want to wait for you when you were getting ready for bed so I could finally fill you up again. But you came home later than you should have and then went straight to bed with your husband, who was already asleep, without glancing at my house. Fuck, Beauty! What are you doing? Why are you fucking with my head so badly?