Chapter 55

Chapter Fifty-Five

“ S o, how are things with your hot neighbor?” mumbles Kelly as we stand her kitchen preparing dishes and sauces to take to the backyard.

I was trying to avoid the subject and instead talked her ear off about how proud I am of June and the new path she wants to take. I guess it didn’t work…

“Shh!” I hiss at her and glance to see if Thomas or June are nearby.

Kelly has invited us over for a barbecue today to introduce yet another new guy, who’s set to undergo the test of surviving a day with her kids and friends. It likely won’t last, as usual. She’ll eventually show him the door, frustrated when she realizes he’s either after her money or just wants to get her into bed. Kelly is an incredibly attractive woman for her age and has never had trouble finding a boyfriend. But somehow, she can’t keep one.

“Don’t worry. I made sure we’re alone before I asked about your secret affair with your handsome young neighbor,” Kelly teases me with a laugh, albeit in a lowered voice.

I give her a bitter look because I don’t find it funny. At least not when my husband and daughter are within earshot. Kelly looks at me urgently and expectantly as if she’s about to burst with curiosity. Sighing, I expel the air and lean against the kitchen counter.

“He had dinner with us the day before yesterday,” I explain meekly, avoiding her gaze because I know what she’s about to say.

“He… what? Cora!” she is outraged at me because I didn’t tell her sooner.

But what was I supposed to say? That my daughter has her eye on the same guy I’m having an affair with? That he got me so hot all evening that I just wanted him to take me, no matter where? Or even worse? That I was jealous of my daughter being alone with him in his house instead of worrying like a good mother. Oh, and there’s the little side note that my husband let his violent asshole side out and forbade me to see my lover—which he doesn’t even know about—again? Plus, the involuntary orgasm withdrawal because I just can’t finish… Could life be any more chaotic?

“So tell me! How did it come to this? What happened? And what now? Cora, damn it, don’t leave me hanging like this!” she whines but tries to keep her voice low.

I look around again to be safe before I lean toward her so that this conversation stays between us.

“He surprised me in the kitchen when I was cooking dinner after gardening. We… he… lay me over the kitchen counter…” I leave it unsaid and give her a meaningful look. “June came in when we…,” I follow up, realizing how my cheeks glow when I think about how damn good it felt the way Ezra took me there, bent over the counter.

“She caught you?” Kelly asks heatedly, looking at me with wide eyes.

I quickly shake my head and continue in a lowered voice.

“No. We just barely avoided it. But that’s how she met him and… Kelly, she likes him,” I blurt out, completely exasperated.

I run my fingers through my curls and look out into the backyard at the children playing and the men talking. I know these thoughts are wrong, but I don’t want Ezra to look at my daughter or pay attention to her. Unfortunately, for all the wrong reasons…

“That sucks,” Kelly comments dryly, which makes me laugh mirthlessly and turn my gaze back to her before nodding dejectedly.

“Yeah, it sucks. Especially because I shouldn’t feel like this, none of this should be happening. Damn it, Kelly! What was I thinking?” I grumble at myself and want to burst into tears, but that wouldn’t be helpful.

“Oh, sweetie! You were just thinking about yourself for once. And you don’t need to feel guilty about it now. Ezra likes you, doesn’t he? He’s interested in you and not in June, or am I wrong?” Kelly asks.

“But isn’t that sick? I’m… I’m competing with my daughter for a guy I shouldn’t be interested in? This… this can’t happen,” I say, pulling my hair.

“June isn’t in love with him, but understandably, finds him interesting. He’s just different from the little boys she knows from college. You’re not a bad mother just because you’re thinking of yourself once, Cora. It’s not like you’re going to steal her boyfriend or anything. And… yes, I know you don’t want to hear this now, but… your marriage is over, sweetheart. You’re still trying to convince yourself that it’s not, but you know it is. And please don’t lie to me now because, unfortunately, I know far too well what happens behind closed doors. I know he hits you, and yes, I hate him for it!” she spits out angrily but pats the back of my hand encouragingly.

Snorting, I snatch my hand from her and push myself away from the kitchen counter to cross my arms in front of my chest and look out of the window again. I gaze at Thomas and how he’s talking to Kelly’s new boyfriend.

“And your advice to me now is to run off with the young neighbor and end my marriage?” I ask snidely, without looking at her, avoiding her suggestion.

I can’t have this conversation with her now because I know I should leave Thomas for the way he is and the fact that he beats me. After all, I advised her to do precisely the same with her first husband. Still, it’s not that easy for me. This is not only because of June’s studies but also because of her new plans. Only Thomas can fulfill them for her. I would never forgive myself if I jeopardized my daughter’s future by leaving her father. I prefer to ignore all that and concentrate on other things.

“No. Don’t feel guilty just because you’re doing what your husband has been doing for years and with dozens of young women. Who says he’s faithful now, huh? Have you had sex lately? Has he tried? Then he’ll hit you again, like he used to when he was unfaithful so often,” she mocks, unfortunately hitting the bull’s eye.

“No, we didn’t, because… he couldn’t. I stood naked in front of him and wanted him to take me on the dining table, and he…” Sighing, I turn to her and can’t stop the tears from welling up in my eyes. “Am I no longer enough for him? Have I become so unattractive to him that he doesn’t want me anymore and, therefore, falls back into old patterns? Does he hate me so much that he thinks I deserve to be beaten?” I burst out and start sobbing, but I quickly put my hands to my face to somehow block out the tears and the noise.

“Oh, sweetie.”

Kelly hurriedly takes me in her arms and hugs me tightly. I allow it and snuggle up to her shoulder, crying myself dry because I can’t hold back all the tears now.

“Come on. We’re going upstairs,” Kelly murmurs in a calm voice and pushes me up the stairs so that I can calm down in private. No one can see me like this.

I gratefully follow her instructions, and we go into her bedroom. Sighing like a wet sack, I sink onto her bed. My shoulders immediately slump, feeling sorry for myself.

“You see, and that’s exactly why I told you to think about yourself. Because Ezra doesn’t make you feel like you’re not desirable, does he? He treats you the way you deserve and does you good,” Kelly rebukes, sinking on the edge of the bed next to me and taking my hand in hers.

I smile weakly and squeeze her hand before nodding gently.

“There you go. Ezra, the young and mega-hot guy, desires you. He wants you, and you’re enough for him. So screw your husband and just have some fun, and then, when it’s over, you can worry about your marriage. I told you this the other day. But throwing it all away now, when June is going her own way, might not be a good idea. Especially not if she wants to build something with you. Wait a little longer, and then, when the time is right, you can always leave him or confront him about the fact that your marriage has failed and see what he says about moving on… God, what I wouldn’t give for the look on his face when he finds out. Can I be there, please?” Kelly jokes, grinning devilishly at me before she starts laughing.

“You’re terrible,” I reply, sniffling, but I can’t help grinning.

Silence falls over us, and I try to organize my racing thoughts somehow. I still don’t want to come to terms with the fact that my marriage has failed. It feels like I’ve failed as a wife and mother. Like I haven’t given my all to make this family last. But deep down, I know I’ve done everything I could over the last few years to prevent this. But it takes two to make a marriage work, and when one stops trying, the other inevitably runs out of steam at some point.

“Are you okay?” Kelly asks me after a long moment. I’m grateful she gave me a few minutes to get my thoughts in order.

Sniffling, I nod and give her a small smile.

“Thank you,” I murmur.

“Always, sweetie.”

We sit on her bed longer, and I let her hold me. Lean on the shoulder I’ve leaned on for many years, seeking comfort whenever I’ve needed it. I love Kelly and am grateful to have her by my side. Even though I don’t share all of her views, I’m still grateful to call her my best friend.

After I calm down and freshen up so my little emotional outburst won’t show, we return to the others and have a lovely evening. Her new guy, Dave, seems like a really nice person, and maybe I was wrong; he might stay longer than his predecessors after all. I would like Kelly to finally be happy and get her happy ending.

“I’m going to Linda’s for a sleepover tonight,” June says goodbye as we get out of the car, having just returned from seeing Kelly.

“Doesn’t she have classes tomorrow?” Thomas asks suspiciously and follows her inside, as June will no doubt want to pack some things for the night.

“Yes, but not until midday; she stays with her parents overnight and leaves in the morning. She had a date today and wants to tell me about it,” she explains to her father and then looks to me for help.

“Have fun, dear,” I reply, smiling encouragingly at her.

She beams and hurries up the stairs, only to come back a little later armed with a small backpack. She gives me another kiss before she leaves the house, leaving me alone with my husband, and I can already see his displeasure without even having to look at him.

“It was a nice day,” he remarks.

I snort because I can’t believe he's just sweeping everything that happened the day before yesterday under the rug.

“Do you have something to say, Cora?” Thomas asks me, a dangerous tone lurking in his voice.

I quickly turn to him. That’s enough!

“Yes, lots of things! But first, I need to know whether you’ll beat me across the house if I dare to open my mouth,” I hiss angrily and give him a warning glare.

“Cora, don’t mock me!” he growls darkly and steps toward me.

Exhaling, I shake my head and turn away from him. There’s simply no point in arguing or discussing with him.

“That’s all right. I’m going to have a glass of wine,” I tell him coolly, leaving him standing there.

I hope he’s taken the hint and will let it go now. Because I just can’t take any more. This constant arguing. Nothing works in our marriage anymore. Not even sex.

Angry at the whole situation and him, I pull open the door of the wine fridge and take out the open bottle to go straight outside. I would love to burst into tears right now and just cry my heart out, but that won’t solve my problems, and I don’t begrudge him this victory.

Sighing, I step onto the patio and look into my dark garden. Only the small lights that line the path to the pool and pavilion at the back provide some light. I put the wine and glass down on the patio table and gaze up at the starry sky, lost in thought, perhaps to find a solution to my myriad problems, although I know it’s certainly not written in the stars.

“Good evening, Mrs. Shepherd,” I hear unexpectedly close behind me, and I can already feel his lips on my neck.

Gasping, I instinctively tilt my head so that Ezra has good access, and I can’t help the smile that just spreads across my face. As if by magic, as if he has spoken a little spell, my problems are blown away for a moment, even though he is one of the biggest on my list. And yet my head is empty right now, and I automatically feel better as soon as I feel him close to me, and he caresses me so delicately with his lips.

“I’ve missed you. You haven’t been in touch since dinner on Friday, and I didn’t know what was going on,” he murmurs against my lips before kissing me longingly and pushing me back against the house wall next to the patio door.

Gasping, I push my butt and back against the wall and wrap my arms around his neck so I can return his hungry kiss, at least for this moment.

“Sorry. There’s been a lot going on here, and June, my husband…” I whisper between our kisses.

“I just heard what happened with your husband, yes,” Ezra mumbles, kissing me a little more demandingly.

“You heard us?” I ask, pulling away from him for a moment.

I don’t want Ezra to discover what’s happening between me and Thomas. Especially not that he hit me again. Because I know how Ezra feels about it, I'm unsure how he'll handle things now that there's more between us. The last thing I need is another complication.

“Mmm. But honestly, I’m not here to talk to you about him right now.” Ezra continues to kiss me.

Relief floods me because Ezra hasn’t heard everything and knows nothing more than that I’ve been arguing with my husband again.

“Oh no? Then why are you here?” I tease him in a whisper, grinning against his soft lips as a dark sound escapes from them.

I gladly accept the distraction he’s offering me here because that’s exactly what I need so badly. So, I put all warning thoughts on hold. Just like my guilty conscience, even though it’s barely audible.

Ezra moves a little closer to me so there is no longer any space between us, and I can feel his many pronounced muscles and how he holds me captive. I can also feel his big, hard bulge in his trousers, which gives me goosebumps, and I can no longer stop the throbbing between my thighs.

“Actually, to punish you, little beast, for leaving me lying there. But since we should be quiet, I’ll just fuck you here and now against the wall and keep your sweet mouth shut. You’ll get your punishment on our date tomorrow. I’ll spank your ass then,” he growls before he plunders my mouth again and doesn’t let me say anything more.

In one swift movement, his hand slides under my skirt, and with a powerful tug, Ezra tears my panties off, leaving me gasping for breath, startled and aroused in equal measure.

“You mustn’t roar so loudly today, little lioness, if you don’t want us to get caught,” Ezra murmurs, reaching for his belt.

A hot shiver runs down my spine. I should object now and tell him we can’t do this here. We must put it off until tomorrow so we don’t get caught. But honestly? It would be a lie because there’s nothing more I want—no, need—than for Ezra to fuck me here and now on his terms because he desires me so much that he can’t wait.

“Fuck me,” I gasp pleadingly because I, too, can’t wait to finally feel him inside me again.

“Say that again,” he urges me in a dark voice as he presses my hands against the wall above my head.

“Fuck me, Ezra!” I whimper as I can already feel his velvety tip at my entrance, but he makes no move to finally penetrate me.

I move my pelvis to rub against his hardness somehow because I can’t take it anymore.

“Fuck, Beauty. You don’t know how beautiful those words sound coming out of your mouth.”

As soon as he finishes speaking, he presses his lips to mine, grabs my thigh, and penetrates me with a powerful thrust. His kiss swallows up my moans, and I arch up against him, pleading. It feels so perfect to feel him inside me again. Ezra knows exactly which buttons to push to make me feel pleasure, too. Every thrust, kiss, bite, and touch from him arouses me.

He lets go of my hands and now lifts me fully onto his hips to penetrate me even deeper, making me moan louder than I should. He immediately puts his big hand over my mouth as he thrusts into me faster and harder. I claw tightly at his shoulders as I wrap my legs tightly around his torso so that he can continue to penetrate me so wonderfully deep and drive me out of my mind.

“Dress off,” he orders with a growl, and I obey immediately because I really want to feel his lips and tongue on my breasts again.

I let out another loud moan, which is muffled by his hand as he greedily bites my nipple and then licks it. This contrast eventually drives me mad, and yet I enjoy his touch far too much.

“Come for me, Beauty. Show me how much you’ve missed my cock. Ride it!” Ezra moans softly in my ear before he puts even more force into his thrusts and yet kisses so infinitely gently over my heated skin up to my nipples.

As the tip of his tongue licks gingerly over my nipple, I come and moan all the pleasure I owe him into his hand, which is still on my mouth. Everything twitches and tightens, pulsating, which also makes him come shortly afterward and squirt inside me. This feeling when he comes deep inside me feels so incredibly good. Just like how irresistibly he moans. His grip, the one on my bottom and the one over my mouth tightens for a brief moment as everything on his gorgeous body tightens with excitement. His steely muscles harden and feel even better… This man is pure sex and excites me more than ever before.

Panting, he let me back to my feet after a long moment of needing to catch our breath. My knees are soft, and I automatically feel empty when I can no longer feel his hardness pulsing inside me.

Ezra doesn’t immediately pull away from me as he plants one last kiss on me, knowing we can’t stay here together forever.

“Tomorrow night, you’re all mine. No playing hide and seek. No interruption and no holding back. Be at my boxing club at 8 p.m.”

It’s a clear command, yet Ezra makes it sound like a declaration of love that couldn’t be more appealing. So I nod eagerly. Ten horses couldn’t keep me from joining him tomorrow.

“I’ll be there,” I breathe tremulously, already so aroused again, just at the thought of what he’ll do to me tomorrow.

“Good girl,” he replies in a vibrating voice before planting another possessive kiss on me and disappearing the next second.

Panting and with a pounding heart, I try to catch my breath as I straighten my clothes so that I can go back to my hopefully sleeping husband to count the minutes until tomorrow night.