Chapter 42

Chapter Forty-Two

Calm down! I need to calm down!

B eauty, you have no idea what you’re doing to me. You’re asking me to do the impossible. I’m supposed to watch and accept you covering your sexy body with such a hot dress—for your wimp of a husband and not for me? I’m supposed to tolerate you letting him fuck you when you know he can’t give you what you need?

I desperately press your wet panties to my nose and breathe in your irresistibly sweet scent so as not to lose my mind completely. This wetness belongs to me alone because of me and my touch. You desire me, Beauty. You want me. When will you finally realize that?

I cross my dark garden with long strides and go into my house. I leave the back door open for you because I know you’ll use it tonight and come to me.

Again, I press your panties to my nose and inhale your scent like a drowning man, as if it’s the first deep breath I’ve taken after being underwater for too long. You are my long-awaited salvation. Only you keep the darkness inside me at bay, and you are the one who can throw everything inside me into chaos if you are not finally mine.

I’d love to kill that little moron. When I think that he’ll spend the whole evening staring at your cleavage and then probably not even undress you completely later to thrust into you three times and then fall asleep satisfied while you don’t even feel anything, I feel sick and want to castrate him. Although there’s not too much left to cut off if he can’t get it up with a goddess like you. Fuck, Beauty! Don’t make me do it!

I can’t control myself, and I want to hurt him because he has the right to be near you and the great privilege of falling asleep and waking up next to you. To hold you in his arms at night. It makes me sick and plunges my mind into an evil darkness that I must never allow myself to fall into again. If I do, it could consume me completely. I will kill him with my bare hands, Beauty, if I give in to this darkness inside me again.

Do you want me to kill him for you? I would do it. Immediately. But I mustn’t do that. You have a kind soul. You don’t want that. Or do you? Fuck!

There’s already enough blood on my hands. I don’t want to be that man anymore; I no longer wish to forget myself so much that I can kill a man with my bare hands. I left that part of me behind me—left him in jail, where I’ve spent the last six years. I couldn’t take care of my sick father or attend his funeral because I was that horrible person back then. But I’m not like that now. I can’t be anymore. For you!

You make me a better person, Beauty. For you, I want to pull myself together and give you the time you need to finally choose me. You’re worth it. The others don’t even compare to you. It feels like I had to clear everyone else out of the way just to make sure the path was open for us. So that I could meet you, get to know you, and love you. Fuck! Do you see what you’re doing to me, Beauty? I’m entirely yours. Everything. When will you finally realize that we’re perfect for each other?

I storm up the stairs in the dark and into my bedroom. Your house is in the dark. So you’ve already left for your date. Date! As if he knows how to take you out on a proper date.

I angrily slam the bathroom door shut behind me and switch on the light, then get rid of my clothes and get into the shower with your panties in my hand. I need to clear my head to relieve the pressure. Otherwise, I’ll go after you again and maybe kill him in the parking lot. No! I have to pull myself together. You’ll be in my bed tonight. Even though it won’t be long, I’ll own you for a moment tonight and hold on to that.

The water splashes on my head, and I press your lace panties to my nose again while my other hand moves to my rock-hard cock and grips it. I’m always hard when you’re near me. Like a fucking teen in his exploration period. But I don’t give a fuck. You’re the hottest woman I’ve ever laid my eyes on. Your curves, your mouth, your eyes, the way they beg me to give you more. Your wonderful breasts. Everything about you is perfect for me and makes me so hot that I could come instantly just thinking about your beautiful body.

My movements quicken as I desperately press the piece of fabric over my mouth and nose. I imagine licking you again, pampering you, and making you scream once more. You want me. Fuck, I want you, Beauty! More than anything else in this fucking world!

A harsh moan squeezes out of my throat, and I drop my head back as my cum mixes with the hot water and disappears down the drain. What a waste. My cum looked much better on your body.

Again, the images of our evening in my club flood my mind. You were so sensual and submissive. Fuck! You were begging for me to take you harder and chastise you more. No problem, my little lioness. I’ll give you everything you want. Everything!

But I still have to hold out. For you. For us. That’s why I’m also focusing on the positive things. For example, you said that you would come to me tonight. I’ve just denied you your orgasm, and your husband will do the same to you.

You’ll think about me—about us. You’ll get hotter and hotter; your breathing will speed up and keep you from sleeping. You will be restless and think about us again and again until you can’t take it anymore. You will remember my words and then come to me all by yourself. Your path will lead you straight to my bed, where I will wait for you naked to give you what your husband is unable to give you.

You will realize it. And that’s why I’m going to pull myself together and be patient. I will react differently than usual and not get rid of him because I won’t have to. You will choose me because I am the one who knows you. Who loves you and desires you the way a woman—a goddess like you—should be desired.

Because you are different. Because you are perfect, Beauty. Perfect for me.