Chapter 43

Chapter Forty-Three

T he entire drive to the restaurant, all I can think about is Ezra and what he’s done to me again. I’m not wearing panties, and I’m going out with my husband, even though someone else has just made me so hot that all I can think about is him and his touch.

I’m annoyed with myself because I allow Ezra to get inside my head and play these games with me. But that’s over now! I will not let him spoil my evening with my husband. I deserve to have a nice dinner with a hot dessert in our bed and to enjoy this evening with my husband. Ezra has no right to interfere here. And if I feel like it, maybe I’ll think about a second dessert in his bed. Because I feel like it and because I have decided, not Thomas or Ezra, that I finally want to think about myself and take control of my own life!

“You seem distracted. Is everything all right? Did you have a good day?” Thomas asks me as we sit at our table and examine the wine list.

Okay, I was staring at it instead of actually reading it. But I will be present with my husband and enjoy the evening he has planned for us… Unfortunately, my plan lasts precisely three seconds before I realize again that I’m not wearing any panties and I’m still throbbing violently between my thighs. I cross my legs with a smile, only to realize it’s getting worse.

“I…,” I stutter, trying to ignore the feeling of my rising arousal as I struggle to focus entirely on Thomas and block a certain someone out of my thoughts. “I was thinking. Sorry. And yes, I had a lovely day with Kelly,” I reply, returning my gaze to the list.

“You’re doing a lot with her at the moment,” he states, and I don’t know whether he thinks it’s good or bad.

“And that’s…?” Leaving the question open, I look up at him again.

“I told you to do something with her again, but not always. I don’t appreciate her lifestyle, and I don’t want her to be a bad influence on you or take your time away from our family. But yes, she’s a good friend to you, and you seem cheerful and happy when you’ve spent time with her,” he replies with a smile as if his announcement and outburst last night hadn’t happened.

Thomas calls the server to our table. After he takes our order and leaves, Thomas looks at me questioningly. He rarely cares what I do in my free time when he’s still at work or the club playing golf. So why now, of all times, when I’m trying to keep something secret from him? Or has he noticed something? Has he seen us?

My pulse quickens at this thought, but I calm down just as quickly. Because if Thomas had really seen me and Ezra or knew something, he would never have kept quiet. Thomas is jealous and bossy. He doesn’t like to have anything taken away from him.

Right from the start, he made it clear that I belonged to him and disapproved of me talking to other men. I used to think it was charming. I liked the fact that he only wanted me for himself. But now I know better and hate that quality in him. It has come up sporadically in our arguments over the years.

“You really seemed to have had fun with her at that boxing gym yesterday,” Thomas picks up the conversation again, and I can hear his suppressed anger.

“It was a very educational and interesting experience, yes,” I reply quickly, taking a generous sip of the red wine the server just brought.

Thomas’s gaze becomes more piercing, and I know he wants to talk about Ezra and his jealousy concerning our meetings. And usually, when he implies something like this, I always find it ridiculous because it’s completely far-fetched. But in this case…

“I can’t believe you spent the evening with that young guy without telling me anything. As if you had something to hide,” he spits quietly so the surrounding guests can’t hear us talking.

My heart skips a beat as I frantically consider what to say to him to avoid further suspicion. I don’t feel like arguing right now, and, above all, I don’t want to talk to him about Ezra. My… what exactly is he to me? I don’t even have a name for it. Now, with my husband sitting opposite me, is not the time to figure it out. I’m not playing along today. So I stand up.

“I’m going to go powder my nose. You’re welcome to join me when you’ve calmed down.” I walk past him, only to bend over him again from behind. “Oh, maybe you should know that I’m not wearing panties,” I whisper in his ear before straightening up again and heading for the restrooms.

It’s not usually my style to provoke him or react so sharply because the risk of him ruining our evening is too high. Over the years, I’ve learned it’s easier to keep quiet and let him have his way. When Thomas thinks he’s won and is happy, things are simpler.

But I don’t always want to give in. I don’t know why I’m suddenly bursting with new self-confidence. Maybe it’s because I’m remembering how sexy and sensual I used to be before I became a mother so early in my life. I used to love provoking Thomas with my charms. He was a completely different man before we became parents at a young age. Not quite as tense, serious, or easily irritated.

Maybe that’s why I want to prove that I can still be the sensual woman I used to be. I want us to become the couple we were before everything became so complicated. And if that requires a little quickie in the restroom of a posh restaurant, why not? I’m wet, hot, and not wearing any panties…

I’m touching up my lipstick in front of the mirror and powdering my face a little when I see Thomas enter the room through the mirror behind me. A subtle smile slides across my lips as he takes quick steps toward me and immediately turns me around to kiss me ravenously.

“I have no idea what’s going on with you right now, but if this is what comes out of it, I’m fine with it… Fuck, Cora, I’m so hot for you right now,” he growls excitedly against my lips before kissing me again and grabbing his belt.

I push him backward into a stall. If someone comes in, we won’t be seen. I lock up behind us but then stop him from opening his pants any further and grab his hand to push it between my legs.

“Fuck, Cora. I want you. Now!”

And he’s already pulling his hand out from under my dress and grabbing his fly.

“Thomas, darling. I’m not wearing any panties, and I’m wet. Don’t you think a man could use that information wisely?”

The images of Ezra kneeling behind me and licking me until I came immediately flash through my mind. Repeatedly, Ezra took care of me and my pleasure before he even thought about himself. For God’s sake! Get out of my head!

“Come on, Cora,” Thomas begs as he pulls his pants open.

He steps up to me and pushes me back against the stall, takes my leg in his hand, and buries himself inside me with one thrust.

My fingers claw into his collar, and I try to let this particular feeling rise inside me. I close my eyes and match his movements but realize I can’t feel anything. There’s nothing left of all the excitement I felt a moment ago. Damn, it’s not even bad what Thomas is doing to me here. But why does it feel like it’s not enough?

“Spend the evening with your husband and think about me. How much do you wish I had ended this now? How much do you want me to make you scream with ecstasy again and then sleep with your husband and tell yourself that’s enough.” Ezra’s words suddenly flash through my mind again. Damn!

“Thomas… wait,” I beg and try to push him off me.

It just doesn’t excite me anymore, and I don’t want that. Not like this. Not when I have another man on my mind and can’t enjoy this. Damn it, I don’t want it like this! I want to have sex with my husband without feeling bad about it because that young asshole did things to me that still make me shake—and only by memory.

“I’m almost there,” Thomas gasps breathlessly and thrusts himself into me a little faster. “Oh God, that’s good!” he moans.

“Thomas, stop it!” I object and try to push him off me again.

“Wait… in a minute… I… fuck!” With that, Thomas thrusts himself deep inside me one last time, and I feel him come inside me.

Panting, he rests his sweaty forehead in the crook of my neck for a moment before he lets go of me and presses a fleeting kiss to the corner of my mouth.

“That was incredible, baby. We should do that more often. Clean yourself up, then come to the table. Now I’m even hungrier.”

Thomas grins ear to ear before giving me another pat on the bottom and leaving the stall and the room. I don’t even know what to say or think. It’s like I’m standing beside myself, staring at this bizarre situation. I wanted him to stop because I wasn’t enjoying it anymore, and for him, it was just the best sex of his life.

Completely speechless, I shake my head and leave the stall after relieving myself and freshening up as I stand in front of the mirror while washing my hands and looking at myself. It’s as if someone else is standing in front of me.

A moment ago, I was so full of lust and wanted to spend a lovely evening with Thomas, and now I feel empty. Is it because of you? Is it because you made me feel so much more in one evening than my husband has in twenty-one years?

I don’t know. Right now, I don’t know anything. I dry my hands and return to our table to spend the rest of the evening with my husband, listening to him as always, smiling, nodding, and laughing at his jokes. All his interest from earlier has completely evaporated. Thomas doesn’t ask me a single question for the rest of the evening.

I accept it and let the evening end with Thomas going to bed as soon as we get home. He doesn’t even ask if I enjoyed the evening. I feel invisible. But I decide to head to bed as well; I’ve had enough overthinking for today. But first, I need a quick shower.

After peeling myself out of the sinful black dress and putting my hair up, I stand in the shower and let the water run over my shoulders. I quickly clean myself and notice how everything tingles again as my pussy craves attention.

I’m briefly tempted to do it to myself, but Ezra clouds my thoughts again. He would press me against the tiles and have his way with me. I drop my hand in frustration and decide to clean myself and get out. I don’t begrudge him being right. So he won’t either.

I will go to bed and fall asleep quickly. There will be no sexy thoughts of the hot neighbor waiting for me in his bed to make me scream with ecstasy again. Who won’t ignore me and my needs like that and let me come first before he joins me for a second orgasm? Damn! Get out of my head, you bastard!

After throwing on one of my lace nightgowns, I lie down and try to do as I promised myself. But even after what feels like an eternity, I toss and turn, sighing. The throbbing between my legs gets worse and worse, and the louder Thomas snores, the more my patience threatens to break. My gaze wanders to Ezra’s house as if of its own accord. But it is in complete darkness. He’s probably already asleep or not even at home and was messing with me. He wanted to provoke me so that he’d be in my head, and damn it, he’s done it. I can’t think about anything else but how much I want him now.

Snorting, I get up and leave the bed, quietly sneaking downstairs. I turn off the alarm so I can slip back in later without being discovered. Then I slip out the front door and hurry over to his house. I have no idea what I’m doing here, but it doesn’t matter because as soon as I open his back door, which he has left open for me, and his familiar scent wafts into my nose, all thoughts are blown away, and my brain switches to autopilot.

Quietly, I creep through his dark house. The only light comes from outside, shining through the windows, casting faint shadows. I can barely make out his furnishings, noticing hardly anything. The house is almost empty. He hasn’t lived here long, and when he’s not at the club, he’s working on the house. There’s probably not much time for furniture shopping.

I pause for a moment in front of the stairs and look up. There’s no light on upstairs, either. Was it a mistake to come here?