Chapter 41

Chapter Forty-One

I hardly slept a wink because the carousel of thoughts just wouldn’t let up. It kept spinning in my head and wouldn’t let me think straight.

I realized it couldn’t work out between us, even if my husband didn’t exist. Ezra enjoys being able to seduce an older woman. His interest will soon fade, and he’ll return to his young lovers. Maybe I should enjoy it while I can and work on my marriage simultaneously. Try to get Thomas to change his attitude toward me so I don’t end up with a pile of rubble.

My cell phone rings next to me, but I don’t want to talk to anyone right now, so I ignore it. But as it rings again and again, it occurs to me that June could be trying to reach me and that she might need me. So, I blindly fish it off my bedside table and answer the call.

Thomas has already left for work, but before he left the house, he invited me to dinner to apologize for his recent behavior. Two weeks ago, there was nothing more important than working on my marriage, and if Thomas had invited me to a romantic evening in a restaurant and not in our bed, I would have been thrilled. But now it makes my insides twist because I don’t know whether I should be happy. I don’t know anything anymore.

I have no intention of leaving my husband. However, I can’t stop thinking about Ezra either. I’m also finding it harder and harder to ignore my husband’s misbehavior or continue to make excuses. Not when I can see that it can be different.

After Thomas leaves, I crawl back into bed with no intention of coming out again until it’s time to get ready for my date with my husband. But the annoying troublemaker on the phone thwarts my plans…

“Finally!” Kelly snorts at me, and I immediately regret picking up the phone.

“What do you want?” I mumble, realizing just how damn exhausted I am.

Not just because of the thoughts circling in my head but also because of everything Ezra has done to me. I’m sore, and everything is throbbing. I’m also pretty sure that my ass has a few marks on it. So I should ensure that Thomas only sees me in the dark in a few days and maybe not from behind. Nevertheless, I have no regrets. What Ezra did to me yesterday was far too fantastic.

“Get your ass out of bed and open the door for me. I brought some pastries because I’m sure you could use a few extra calories right now,” Kelly jokes.

I only pull my covers over my head even higher because I know she won’t leave until I’ve let her in and told her everything, down to the last detail. But maybe it’s not such a bad thing to talk to someone about it because if I don’t, my head might burst.

“I hate you,” I mutter into the phone before getting up and hanging up at the same time as Kelly laughs.

I shuffle downstairs without glancing in the mirror, not wanting her to wait outside the door any longer. After letting her in, I can still freshen up while Kelly makes us coffee. If she invites herself over, she might as well be helpful. Normally, I pride myself on taking great care of my guests, but today, I just don't have the energy for it.

When I arrive downstairs, I can hear her talking, but Kelly is probably on the phone with one of her ex-husbands again, so I don’t bother and open the door. But when I see Kelly isn’t alone on the porch and two people are staring at me, my eyes widen, and shame floods my cheeks. Crap!

“Good morning, Mrs. Shepherd. I saw your lovely friend and wanted to say hello,” Ezra greets me with that ambiguous smile on his sinful lips.

His eyes wander over my appearance with an interested look. Since I didn’t want to risk Thomas seeing the traces of our lust yesterday, I put on a pair of short sleep shorts and a matching shirt instead of my silk shirt. My hair must look terrible, and I haven’t even brushed my teeth yet.

I suppress the impulse to run my tongue over my teeth, dirty from sleep, because that would probably be far more conspicuous than simply making this embarrassing situation as brief as possible.

“Ezra. What a surprise,” I squeak, and I would love for the ground to swallow me whole.

I’m mentally slapping myself for my stupidity. Outwardly, I smile, but without showing my teeth. Better safe than sorry.

Kelly gives me a skeptical look before turning back to Ezra with her trademark smile. She puts a hand on his arm, and I realize I hate her touching him at all. But I say nothing and let her put on her typical Kelly show so I can finally escape upstairs.

“Sorry about her strange behavior. She’s quite moody in the morning. I hope you didn’t go too hard on good ol’ Cora yesterday. Or maybe you did, which explains her bad mood,” Kelly jokes and gives me a meaningful look over her shoulder before turning back to him.

I curse and could strangle her for playing her little game with him. Above all, she seems to be amused by the way Ezra and I dance around each other.

Ezra gives her his most engaging smile before his gaze shifts to me.

“Don’t worry, I can handle claws. She did pretty well yesterday, and I hope I didn’t overwhelm you, Mrs. Shepherd.”

He fixes me with that familiar, gentle gaze and holds me completely captive with it for a moment before I clear my throat to find my voice again. I’ve heard the implication. You…

“No. In fact, I think you’ve been holding back a bit, and I’m asking you to give more at our next training session. I expect more from my trainer,” I counter, which makes Kelly snort in amusement.

“But, of course, Mrs. Shepherd. Anything you wish,” Ezra replies with a certain twinkle in his eye.

“Good. I’ll get back to you when I need my next lesson. Thank you very much, and have a nice day, Mr. King,” I say goodbye to him before grabbing Kelly by the hand and pulling her inside.

She says a quick goodbye before the front door slams shut behind us. I quickly peek outside through the frosted glass next to the door to see if he’s still there. But he turns away, shaking his head. I can literally see his arrogant grin in my mind’s eye.

“What… was that?” Kelly snaps me out of my stupor, and I quickly turn to her.

My heart is still pounding heavily, and when I realize what I’ve just done, I slap my hand over my mouth and look at her with wide eyes. Kelly grins ear to ear and gives me a knowing glare.

“Damn, Cora darling. I’ve never seen you flirt like that before and in that outfit. Respect,” Kelly praises me proudly and looks me up and down amusedly.

I quickly turn to the large wall mirror hanging in the corridor behind the front door and realize that I look absolutely awful. Dark circles under my eyes right up to the tip of my nose, and my hair standing on end like a shaggy lion’s mane. If my roots had been greasy, I would have shot myself. Don’t even get me started on my outfit. But since Ezra has already seen me naked, it’s probably tolerable. Still, I would have preferred it if I hadn’t bumped into him today.

“I wasn’t flirting with him,” I defend myself and turn back to her.

Kelly raises her thin eyebrow at me to clarify what nonsense I’m talking about. Grumbling, I walk past her toward the stairs, rolling my eyes.

“If you’re going to turn up here unannounced, you might as well make coffee for us. After all, I’m always in such a bad mood in the morning,” I snort over my shoulder as I climb the first few steps. “I’ll freshen up and get dressed,” I tell her, ignoring her teasing comments as I make my way upstairs to my bedroom.

Once in the bathroom, I lean against the closed door with a sigh and briefly close my eyes to take a deep breath. I have no idea what has just come over me. His flirty smile and ambiguous statements irritated me so much that it burst out of me. Something like that mustn’t happen to me again, at least not publicly. At least this time, it was just Kelly. Either way, she will force me to tell her everything that happened between Ezra and me yesterday. Still, we must be more careful if we don’t want to be found out.

I feel like a felon planning to commit a crime and showing no remorse. I’m talking about cheating on my husband before breakfast. How could I have ended up here?

Shaking my head, I undress, tie my hair up, and shower to freshen up and clear my mind.

Once I’ve finished, I sit fully clothed in front of my dressing table and put on my makeup before rising to my feet. At least now I look like a human being again and can show myself to the world. Maybe without bumping into my lover, but I don’t want to hope too much. After all, I know Ezra and his perfect timing. However, he looked like he was on his way to the boxing club. Maybe I’ll have some peace and quiet from him today and can get my thoughts in order.

“What took you so long? Thinking too much about your hot neighbor?” Kelly teases me as I join her outside under the pavilion.

She also loves sitting here and has set up a lovely breakfast outside, complete with pastries, plates, coffee, and everything we need for a relaxing breakfast.

“Leave it. Kelly, I’ve really fucked up,” I whisper and look around in panic.

Kelly puts down the jug of fresh milk and looks at me in surprise. Maybe she thought I was kidding, after all, I could hardly believe that I went through it with Ezra yesterday. She looked at me like I was an alien.

“Did you really do it?” she asks me excitedly, her eyes sparkling again.

“It’s not something that should make you gleam like that. I did something terrible,” I reprimand her sternly and let myself fall back into the wicker chair with a sigh.

“You’re right—you’re going to hell, you naughty girl. But now spit it out and tell me what the hot neighbor was like, damn it!” she urges me excitedly to speak.

I can feel my cheeks burning again. God knows I’m not a prude or shy, but I can’t explain what Ezra did to me yesterday—I’m not like Kelly. I bite my lower lip, trying to avoid her gaze as I pour milk into my coffee.

“That good?” Kelly whispers in awe, waiting spellbound for my detailed report, which she definitely won’t get.

“More than that, and that’s the problem,” I sigh.

“You’ve tasted the forbidden fruit, and now you don’t want to give it up, do you? Understandable because he’s a real treat,” she gushes about Ezra as if she doesn’t see the problem with all this mess.

“I’m married, Kelly!” I hiss.

“Yeah, that’s right. Just like Thomas was when he cheated on you—how many times? Five, ten, twenty? Cora, I’m not telling you to leave your husband because you’re far too decent for that, and you’d never do it because of June, which is perfectly okay. You don’t want to take away your daughter’s happy family and allow her to continue studying. I understand that. But you’ve been given a gift, darling. You know it won’t last forever. So have some fun with him, and then focus on your husband again when it’s over. You’ll feel better because, on the one hand, you’ll get back at him, and, on the other, it’s nice that you’re doing something just for yourself.”

“That’s your version of doing something for myself? Couldn’t you have pushed me to find a new hobby or something?” I ask her incredulously.

Kelly shrugs her shoulders with a grin, which makes me grin, too. Crazy girl…

“So I’m supposed to lie and cheat on my husband, and then what? I’ll be no better than him, and my marriage is truly over.” I try to talk myself out of it, which would be my best friend’s job—thanks for that…

“You’re better than him, Cora. If only because you care. How do you know he’ll still be faithful to you? Why should you always have to give up everything and take the beating? And yes—I mean it exactly as I said it. I’m your best friend, and I’ll say the ugly things to your face. It’s not right to cheat on your husband. But it’s also not right to give up everything for him and always come away empty-handed.”

How could I be angry with her when she is the only one in my life who tells me the truth, not to hurt me, but so that I can reflect on myself and find the right path— my path?

“Thomas wants to have dinner with me tonight… and yesterday… He was angry with me because I hadn’t been in touch and haven’t been myself lately. I’m so confused and don’t know what to do.”

I pull my hair and look at her in despair.

“Doesn’t he have a better grip on himself by now? At least I thought so,” she asked, questioning what I’d said, and I could hear the disapproval.

“He has. He… didn’t touch me; he raised his voice a little… I’m not making it easy for him right now, Kelly,” I try to excuse my husband’s behavior, as I have done for so many years.

It’s almost like an automatism. I hardly notice when it happens. But Kelly’s eye roll and snide snort make it abundantly clear that I’ve done it again.

“Then you’ve already got your answer, sweetheart. So why are you still trying to talk yourself out of it? You want to save your marriage and defend your husband—that pig—as usual? Then, end things with the sexy neighbor—end of story. Thomas never has to know, and you’ll ride off into the sunset together again after a little detour,” Kelly replies with a shrug, but I can still hear the sour undertone in her every word.

Once again, I avoid her gaze. Yes, it could be so damn easy. It could be a one-off slip-up, and my husband would never have to know about it because he wasn’t infallible in our marriage either. I could chalk it up to a tiny bump on our long journey together and never have to think about it again. Yes, it could be that simple…

“Cora,” Kelly’s reprimanding voice rings out, but I avoid her gaze. “Cora, don’t tell me you’ve got a crush on him?”

My head jerks up, and my cheeks burn as I shake my head vehemently.

“NO!” my far too high-pitched voice shrills, and I hear for myself how ridiculous I sound. “No. I… don’t know. I don’t even know him. We haven’t had a proper conversation yet. He’s just… He sees me, Kelly. I’m not a ghost to him, and I’m not something he takes for granted. I know I shouldn’t be so attracted to him and that this behavior is not like me at all. But… he makes me feel good. I feel like I’m seventeen again and still have my life ahead of me. I love my daughter and my husband… but… sometimes, I wish I could have taken more control if I had fought more for what I wanted. Ezra gives me this feeling that everything happens on my terms. That’s… nice. It’s what I need right now, even though I know how wrong it is. I want to work on my marriage. I want to make love to my husband. But I also want to keep feeling the way I do with Ezra. At least for a little while,” I confess my feelings to her.

Kelly leans forward, grabs my hand, squeezes it once, and smiles gently at me.

“Then you should do what makes you happy. You deserve to be happy, sweetie. And if you need help, I’ll always cover for you. You’re allowed to make a mistake once in a while, Cora. Life is too short to always do the right thing.”

She gives my hand another firm squeeze and smiles encouragingly at me. I nod gently. I don’t know whether I should really feel better now or whether her words are making the spinning top in my head spin even faster. But at least I don’t feel quite so bad anymore. Maybe it’s okay to indulge in one mistake in an otherwise perfect life.

“I’m heading to the bathroom real quick, and then I’m going to get us some champagne, and we’re going to have a fantastic time today. All right?” Kelly asks me as she stands up and grins goofily at me.

I nod weakly again. I am so incredibly grateful to have a friend like Kelly by my side. Even though she drives me crazy sometimes, and her ideas aren’t always the best, she cares about me and wants me to be happy.

Kelly and I had a wonderfully relaxing day together. She has this incredible ability to help me let go of everything else and just live in the moment. Now, I'm genuinely excited for the evening ahead with my husband, especially with the plans he's made for us.

Thomas texted me earlier that he would be home on time and, after a quick shower, is ready to take his beautiful wife out. I have no idea what’s gotten into him, but I live by my new motto and roll with it.

Already dressed up, I take one last look in the mirror and check my outfit. Kelly picked it out for me earlier before she left, telling me to pull the stick out of my sweet ass.

Maybe she’s right. I should enjoy my life and allow myself to be happy, even if I have to give happiness a little help.

I turn in front of the mirror and have to admit that the longer I look at myself in the skin-tight black dress with the high leg slit, the more desirable I feel. It shows more cleavage than any of my other dresses, and the back is also low-cut. Of course, Kelly gave me this hot piece for my thirtieth birthday. Now I’m glad she did.

I’ve left my long brown curls loose in all their glory today simply because I like them just as they are. I’ve decided to leave them down, skipping the usual updo for my husband. I’ve also added high ankle strap shoes and, for once, a less subtle makeup look with my red lips and black-rimmed eyes.

Satisfied with my work, I go downstairs and wait for my husband to come home so that he can take me out. Once in the kitchen, however, I notice that I’ve left the fairy lights on in the pavilion and decide to switch them off quickly so that I don’t have to do it later when we get home.

Walking carefully along the path, I gather up my dress as it reaches the ground. With every step I take, the skirt gapes open, revealing the high leg slit in all its glory and my sun-kissed bare thighs. Typically, I would never have put this dress on voluntarily, but today, I feel ready for it and am happy to finally wear it.

“Damn it, Beauty. Don’t wear something so hot. You know I’d love to rip it off you,” I suddenly hear from close behind me, and I can already feel Ezra’s fingers grabbing my waist and pulling me back toward him while his other hand brushes my curls off my neck.

His hot breath on my skin gives me goosebumps, and I draw in a sharp breath as I feel his hard-on at my bottom again.

“Ezra,” I whisper in surprise and quickly look toward my house to see if Thomas is home before I hurriedly turn off the fairy lights so we can’t be seen immediately. “What are you doing here?” I finish my sentence in a lowered voice and turn to face him.

The small LED lights illuminating the path and the pool further ahead in the garden provide enough light for me to see Ezra’s face. His expression turns questioning. His gaze glides over my outfit today in confusion until the scales fall from his eyes. He thought I’d dressed up like this for him. Crap.

Ezra’s expression hardens, and he takes a step back, which gives me a sting that I can’t quite understand. All I know is that I don’t want to argue with him.

“I see. Then I wish you and your husband a pleasant evening, Mrs. Shepherd,” Ezra bids me farewell in a harsh voice, but he gives me such a gentle kiss on the cheek that it contrasts completely with his obvious disappointment.

“Ezra, please,” I try to stop him because this is not how I want it to be between us. “I’m married. You know that. That means I let my husband take me out to dinner and?—”

“What else do you want to do with your husband…?” Ezra interrupts me with a lurking voice that makes me flinch briefly.

But when he steps closer to me again and delicately traces the contours of my lower lip with his thumb, the strange feeling disappears and is replaced by the familiar tingling sensation that I know only too well when he touches me or is close to me.

“Will your husband do the same things to you as I do? Will he make you scream like I did? Have you ever come on his cock as much as you’ve come on mine?” he murmurs close to my red- painted lips, pushing me back against the beam of the pavilion with his presence.

As I bump against the wood, I gasp in shock and look up at him with wide eyes.

“Ezra…” I whisper, but my husband’s voice interrupts me.

“Cora?”

“I’m here,” I call out breathlessly. “I’ll be right in,” I add quickly so that Thomas doesn’t get the idea to come here.

“I’m heading upstairs for a quick shower, and then we can go, okay?” he calls to me, and I can already see him disappearing back into the house.

With a racing heart, I look at Ezra, standing so close to me that he pins me against the beam with his muscular body.

“Ezra, I have to go now.”

“Mmm. But not before I get another present from you,” he grumbles in his deep voice before I feel his rough fingers on my leg slit as they slowly move upward over my thigh.

When I realize what he means, I shake my head vehemently. But when he runs his fingers delicately over my core, I gasp in agreement, only to bite my tongue hard and grin at him in warning. Nevertheless, he pushes my lace panties aside to expose my pussy.

“Ezra,” I moan softly as his fingers run through my already wet folds. “Please,” I follow with a gasp and turn my head toward the house to see if there’s still a light in the bathroom, which tells me that Thomas is still in the shower.

“I’ll give you your panties back tonight if you’ve been a good girl,” he teases me.

“A good girl in the sense that I’m not allowed to sleep with my husband when I want to?” I hiss, trying to stop myself from moaning again at the same time as he rubs my pearl with just the right amount of pressure.

“I’m not telling you whether or not you can fuck him, Beauty. I’m just curious to see if you’ll beg me to do you again tonight after you sneak out of bed when your husband has fallen asleep. Or will you be thinking about me while you’re doing it? How I fucked you? How much you enjoyed the way I grabbed you.”

As he speaks, he enters me with two fingers in one firm thrust, swallowing my sound with a hungry kiss. Gasping, I pull away from him so he doesn’t smudge my lipstick, giving us away, as I push myself toward his hand.

“Spend the evening with your husband, thinking about me; how much you wish I’d let you come now. How much you wish I’d make you scream with ecstasy like this again and then sleep with your husband and tell yourself, that’s enough.”

Instantly, he pulls out of me and slides the already wet piece of fabric down until it lands on the floor at my feet.

“I’ll wait for you in my bed, Beauty. The back door will be open.” With that, he leaves me breathless and with a throbbing core after stealing my damp panties.

Dammit! I’m lost!