CHAPTER 53 A King-Size Bed

Henrietta

Yes, Keith and I were courting. And besides the fact that he was very pretty, he was also very good company.

We were of similar stations, so my parents couldn't complain—excepting the whole mortal enemies, assassins, and kingdom war part. I didn't have any fiancé waiting for me back home, although my mother had brought up a number of court lords and ladies as marriage partners over the years, mostly as a threat to get me ready for the next dungeon delve.

"If you can't level up faster, the least you could do is marry someone actually competent. How about Lady Luise? She'll make a fine jewel for the kingdom when you're king," she'd say.

"Lady Luise beat her maid to death last week with a candelabra. I don't know if she'd make a good queen?"

"Tut-tut, she'll need that determination to rule beside someone as weak as you, dear. Now, go level up properly—if you can't grow a backbone, you can at least get strong enough to be impressive to hide your disgusting naivete."

It wasn't much of a threat; I'd always assumed my marriage would be a political marriage—with no offspring because of the curse. Any partner would just be for show, and with my parent's tastes I knew I wouldn't enjoy the match.

While I was very seriously considering Keith's … interest, and I was getting used to the idea that people were encouraging our relationship, that wasn't the same as outright being called queen of the Dark Enchanted Forest by a beautiful princess.

Penelope's long black hair was tied in a ponytail that braided down to her knees. Her eyes were slim and delicate like her fox heritage, though she didn't show a hint of any tails.

"Thank you, Penelope," Keith told the woman. "The princess and I will let you know if there is anything else."

"We are at your service!" If I didn't know any better, I'd say Penelope smirked at Keith before grabbing Olen's arm and dragging him back to the kitchen. "I hope you like your drinks with extra glimmer?"

"It's wonderful, thank you." I praised.

Lavender was back at the bar, enchanting drinks. The Lavender. The last time I'd heard of the Lizard Wizard, she was in a party of adventurers in the Depths of Despair Dungeon. Not many talking animals went from helping deserving lost heroes to becoming legends in their own right. If I recalled correctly, Lavender had started by giving directions to a seventh son.

I pulled my eyes away to focus on Keith. He was watching me with that look he sometimes got. The one that said he was very happy and content. He'd finally relaxed a bit with food in front of us.

"Thank you." I braced myself to sample the stew.

"For what?" Keith tilted his head. He lifted a spoonful of broth and blew on it gently.

"For letting her know I wasn't the queen yet in a way that didn't cause a spectacle." I eyed my own bowl.

Keith shrugged.

This was my second tavern stew in as many days, and I had to immediately apologize to Marvin because there was a reason this stew was talked about across the entire Dark Enchanted Forest. It was golden, creamy, and slightly sweet. I tasted hints of curry mixed with cardamom, and the spices heated my tongue without being uncomfortable. The potatoes were soft deliciousness infused with the flavors of mushrooms and carrots and onions. The beef melted in my mouth.

The broth was unique and flavorful in a way that I'd never tasted before. I moaned with pleasure. Keith twitched.

"This is amazing." I finally had enough cognitive function to speak. "Do you think Panlith would forgive me if I hired a singing princess and beastman to cook at the palace once a week?"

"Panlith hasn't taken a day off since he took over that kitchen five years ago," Keith told me. "His house collapsed during a heavy rainstorm, trapping him and his family under the bog. His wife and children could be [Resurrected], but his body was washed downstream and took too long to find. After Chloe [Raised] him, he showed up and hasn't left the kitchen since. I think he would fight tooth and nail to keep it that way."

"Wait, wait, wait." I coughed on a sip of the bubbling spritzer. "Panlith is a zombie?"

"No." Keith enjoyed another bite of stew. "He's a ghoul lord. He's obviously retained his intelligence."

"Huh." I'd had no idea. Though I'd wondered why he was always in the kitchen even when everyone else took days off. "Are there any other undead that I know?"

"Gimtak is also a ghoul lord." Keith listed on a finger, "Phillip the Skeleton Porter, Brian the Vampire Accountant, and Milith the Wight."

"Do they all not follow the four-day work week?" I'd seen Gimtak delivering Keith's mail every day. Though I only knew of Philip and Brian in passing. Milith was rarely in the kitchen, and only to grab something and run away.

"Just Gimtak and Panlith. That imp actually spends most of his time relaxing in the library or snacking in the break room. He's so fast and his [Teleportation] so high that he only needs a few minutes to deliver the royal mail each day. He has an army of winged delivery workers who do the rest of the kingdom work, and his son handles everything else. Gimtak is practically retired … Honestly, he might be retired and just doing it every day out of boredom. I'm surprised he hasn't asked for eternal rest yet."

My mind tried to wrap around all of the undead happily working about my new home. It was one thing to know Chloe was a powerful necromancer and another to know I was surrounded by creatures of evil. "Wow. I never would've guessed."

They were all so nice. My father would've had the army hunt down any hint of an undead in Drendil. He was particular about "keeping the kingdom clean," as he put it.

I was growing more and more sure of my decision to embrace evil every day.

Penelope returned with a beautiful glass jar piled high with ice cream, markle berries, whipping cream, and two connected-via-the-stem cherries on top. A shimmering glow of blue mist danced around the dish, compliments of Lavender's magic.

"On the house, dear royal guests," Penelope declared. Then she handed us two tiny dessert spoons. "Is there anything else you need addressed?"

As she asked, two bluebirds flew about her in graceful swoops and picked up our light wooden bowls. A chipmunk sat on her shoulder watching the dining hall, presumably to whisper in her ear should anyone be in need of service.

Keith looked at me, but I was happy and didn't need anything else. I eyed the ice cream and blushed a bit when I realized we were going to share it. Keith turned back to our hostess and said, "Yes, Princess Penelope, we would like to stay the night. Two rooms, please."

"Please, my king, I am your loyal subject and have been since I married Olen, last I checked … Penelope or Mrs. Orrin will do." Penelope's voice suddenly took on a very concerned pitch, though her face retained a smile as she told us. "And oh dear, but while you were enjoying our stew, a few guests arrived whom have taken our second to last room. We only have one left upstairs—but it does have a king-sized bed and a chair."