CHAPTER 54 Phrasing, Penelope, Phrasing!

Keith

It was Keith's turn to almost spit take, though he maintained his composure in the face of the two princesses with a barely concealed eyebrow twitch.

The years of training under his godmother Feliwyn had come in really handy of late.

Penelope was just as much a tease as her parent, Their Royal Highness Rowen, and Keith needed to be sure she didn't realize how much her words had affected him.

Like the adorable Ria was affecting him right now. She happily placed one of the two cherries into her mouth and popped the stem off with her teeth. Then she let out a happy sigh that made him painfully aware of just how hard it was to look away. He had to drag his gaze back to their hostess.

"That is unfortunate," he told Penelope. "Perhaps we could book the room for Lady Amaryllis and find accommodations elsewhere."

Penelope shook her head sadly. "It is a shame, but the armies marching around have sent more merchants to our town. Everyone is steering clear of Drendil's border, and the whole of Gren's Keep has no—"

"Sorry, my liege." Olen ambled up behind his wife just in time to cut her off. "We'll make room for you and Princess Henrietta upstairs. The Bobbin Brothers were going to have a room each, but I'll let them know there's been a change of plans."

"I appreciate that," Keith said, at the same time Henrietta asked. "Are you sure?"

He was taken aback by the implications of her question and stared at her, then remembered to close his open mouth.

She blushed. "I mean, I've slept in a chair before; it's not too much of a hardship …" Ria shrugged it off with much more rationale than Keith could muster before continuing. "And besides, we'll be sleep—camping together in the dungeon tomorrow, won't we?"

"Unlikely. We could easily complete the Hollow Gorge in a single day. It might be a close call in the Deep Shoals Dungeon," Keith explained. "But we can still try—they've set up portals on each floor so that anyone can hop out when they're ready. We use the dungeons for revenue, and it's safer for the porters that way."

Keith took a second to pop his own cherry. He savored the taste.

"But then we'd have to start from the first floor again the next day …" Henrietta watched Keith eat very intently, and he wondered if he should've let her have both cherries.

"That is true." Keith nodded.

"So are you two sleeping together, or do you need separate rooms?" Olen scratched his head and then squeaked in a very high-pitched voice when Penelope elbowed him in the ribs.

"Separate, please," Keith insisted. There was no way he could sleep if Ria was there. She might watch him sleep … He might watch her sleep. This trail of thought needed to stop.

"Alright, Your Viciousness," Olen replied, rubbing his side as his wife face-palmed. "I'll let the brothers know. Give me a bit of time to clean up your rooms; you can head up in an hour. I'll leave the keys with Lavender."

"Thank you, Olen," Henrietta said before Keith could. "And thank you, Penelope, for this delicious dinner. I'm seriously impressed! Everyone across the Dark Enchanted Forest was raving about you, and I can see why."

"And you are a very kind guest," Penelope smiled with pride. "You come back anytime, Princess."

Henrietta leaned forward and peeked over at the bar. "Can I ask, how did you get Lavender the Lizard Wizard to work at your restaurant?! She's amazing!"

Penelope chuckled and tossed her long black braid over her shoulder. "I dueled her in a wizard fight at the Peldeep Festival of Lights. She was so determined to learn my illusion spells, so she set out to find me again, and, well …"

"I found her first." Olen wrapped an arm around Penelope. "And I carried her off to the Dark Enchanted Forest to be my wife."

"More like I rode you like a horse," Penelope replied dryly. "He was in his bear form, of course."

"Phrasing, Penelope! Phrasing!" an elderly otterfolk lady at the table beside us called out. "Also, I'd like dessert, please."

"I'll be right there." Penelope gave Keith and Henrietta a small curtsy and patted her husband affectionately on the arm. He released her to go back to work.

"Enjoy the rest of your dessert," Olen told them. "I'll go up and get your rooms ready."

When they were by themselves again, Ria asked Keith, "So which dungeon should we hit up first?"

"The Hollow Gorge is closer. Its entry is in the pass that leads down toward the Deep Shoals," Keith explained. He knew that Henrietta had completed the Depths of Despair Dungeon off the eastern coast, but he wanted to be sure, so he asked, "Can you swim?"

"Of course!" Ria said between a mouthful of whipping cream. She licked a spot of cream off the curve of her lip. "I spent many years—"

"I'm back!" Lady Amaryllis burst into the tavern with Guardswoman Puma right behind her.

Keith sighed. All he'd wanted was a peaceful dinner with the princess he was courting.

Ria stood up to greet them. "Thank goodness …" She paused and looked at Keith. "Or is it ‘thank evilness' in the Dark Enchanted Forest?"

Keith shrugged. "I've never heard either saying."

Henrietta continued, "Anyway, I'm thankful everything worked out. I'm so sorry, Mistress Puma. I completely reacted on instinct. Do you forgive me?"

"See!" Lady Amaryllis cut in, sounding smug. "I told you she wouldn't hold it against you."

Henrietta argued, "Amy, she hasn't even—" at the same time Mistress Puma said, "Lady Amy, now is not—"

The two women stopped and stared, realizing their confusion. They decided to ignore the elf girl entirely.

"Princess." Mistress Puma bowed. "I'm sorry for not recognizing you upon your arrival."

"And I'm sorry for throwing you into the woods," Ria replied.

"Think nothing of it." Mistress Puma smiled. "If you'll excuse me, I must resume my shift for the evening."

"Of course! Don't let us keep you!"

Mistress Puma left, but Keith noted with disappointment and a hint of annoyance that Lady Amaryllis was pulling up a chair to join them.

"So what's the plan?" the intruder asked.

Ria waved for a server to come take their new guest's order. She told Lady Amaryllis, "I have a room upstairs tonight. Want to share?"

Keith was suddenly disappointed in, annoyed at, and very envious of Lady Amaryllis. He regretted giving up the shared bedroom idea and decided that he would need to get rid of this young elf travel companion as soon as possible.

As soon as they went upstairs, he connected with a golem and left a message in Green Oak, the elven city. They could come collect their errant saintess sooner so he could have a romantic date with Henrietta.

Not that it mattered, because Fate had other plans.