5. Ella

CHAPTER 5

ELLA

I wake up the next morning and stare at the ceiling for a while, replaying everything that happened last night. I do have a slight headache from the wine that we drank, but otherwise, I'm feeling okay. Well… at least physically. I'm still feeling the hurt from being stood up, but I am now also feeling confused after what happened with Xavier last night. If it wasn't for him, I probably would have come home and cried myself to sleep, feeling like a sad and unwanted loser. He saved me from that—his distractions worked a charm.

I definitely still need to talk to my therapist about how I'm feeling, and thankfully I have a session with her on Monday. But there's also now some tension between Xavier and I that I can't quite place. He openly admitted to thinking I'm hot. And he gave me the best hug I've had in a long time, but I thought that maybe he would have tried to make a move. Or at least kiss me. So, I can't actually be certain if he's interested in me or not. Am I interested in him? Yes. Unfortunately so. He's shown me more kindness in our few interactions than any man has in the last five years. That shouldn't automatically make me want him, but he's also very attractive. And easy to be around. And smells nice….

Okay, I should stop. I should also probably get out of bed and make sure he's okay. I get up and do a once over in the mirror. I'm not looking too much like a trash panda, and my pyjamas are cute enough to be seen in, so I open my door to say good morning. Though, when I look around, I don't see him. The only evidence of him being here is the second wine glass that was left on the sink, and the lingering scent of his cologne. He seems to have packed away the linen from last night. I notice a note on the dining table and read it.

Ella, thanks for letting me stay last night. Sorry I couldn't stick around this morning. I hope you're feeling okay today. Thank you for the book. I'll text you with updates.

Xavier x

"Oh… well I guess that's that then."

I think of the way he hugged me last night, and the feeling of his thumb rubbing circles on my ribs. He was just being friendly, I suppose. It meant nothing if he didn't even want to stick around this morning. Disappointment settles upon me, and I hate myself for it.