11. Xavier

CHAPTER 11

XAVIER

"Shit." I jump back as glass shatters everywhere. This is the third glass I've smashed since my shift started tonight. I'm distracted, clearly, by what happened this morning with Ella. I don't know what came over me. Seeing her so visibly shaken by her encounter with that douchebag Conor, I felt such a fierce need to protect her and to make sure she was okay. Then when she started going on about how she's not beautiful and nobody wants her, I snapped. I'll admit it, the last couple of weeks, my mind has often wandered to what her lips might feel like against mine. But I swore to myself that I would keep our relationship strictly platonic.

All I know is I wanted to prove to her how beautiful and desirable she is. She didn't kiss me back at first, and I was worried that I overstepped. But then she kissed me back with such fervour, I lost all sense of the world around us. It was just Ella and me, living in the moment. She didn't say much on our walk back to our cars—I think she was in shock, because I sure was. She gave me an awkward hug, thanked me for a great morning, made another joke about her hero, Mr Bartender Man, and then hopped in her car and drove off. It felt similar to when I was a teenager and I'd just gone on a first date. Neither of us knew how to act around each other.

"What's up with you tonight, boss?" Lena smirks. "You're in your own head about something, I can tell. "

I hate that my feelings are so blatantly obvious, I can never hide things from anyone."I know, I'm just distracted. I'll be right. Hand me that broom, would you?" She hands it to me, and I proceed to sweep up the broken glass.

"Would a red headed librarian be the cause of that distraction?" she asks with a knowing grin.

"Maybe," I mumble. I scoop up the glass and toss it into the bin. "Not that I would tell you anything about it, seeing as you'll likely go straight to my ex with the gossip." I lift a brow at her. I haven't had the chance to discuss her conversations with Jade yet. Might as well bring it up now.

She laughs, albeit nervously. "Ah. She dobbed me in. She asked me how you were doing, so I told her. All I said was that you'd made a new friend." She shrugged. "I didn't insinuate anything. Jade's my friend too, you know. I can't not talk to her about things just because you two aren't together anymore."

I sigh. "I know. I just don't appreciate my ex-girlfriend asking me questions about my dating life, based on information she's garnered from you. It's… weird. If I start seeing someone, I want her to hear it from me. Not that I'm seeing Ella, we're just friends. Understand?"

"You got it boss. From now on, I will not talk about you to Jade." She mimics zipping her lips shut. "Now, tell me what's happening with Ella. ‘Just friends' my arse."

"Yeah, not gonna happen Lena. I'm not telling you shit." I laugh. "The ladies on table 12 need a refill. I'm going into the office for a while, so call out if you need me."

"Ugh. Such a party pooper. I'll get it out of you eventually Xavier James!"

"Unlikely," I mutter. I head into the office and try to focus on the paperwork in front of me. No matter how hard I try, I can't concentrate. I have so many conflicting feelings in my head. I hope Ella is okay. I haven't heard from her since this morning, so I send off a text just to check in.

Xavier

Hey. Hope your Saturday night is going well. What are you up to?

I again pick up the invoices I'm supposed to be going over but I'm just skim reading them at this point. All I can think about is the feeling of her lips on mine, the soft moans that came out of her delicious mouth… and despite everything telling me I shouldn't do it again, it's all I want to do. I want to run my hands through her hair, feel her skin on mine. I want to taste every inch of her.

I had a simple one-night stand after Jade and I first split and it wasn't exactly a night of passion. With Ella, I can imagine it would be electric. I'm really not ready for another relationship yet. However, if I could maybe start something casual with Ella, something that would satisfy both of our needs... I should talk to her, make sure she's really okay and possibly hint at the idea of a little bit of extra fun.

Just as I start to think about all the things we could do together, a knock on the door shakes me out of my daydream. I have to adjust myself before telling whoever it is to come in. Good one Xavier, give yourself a boner at work. What am I, 14 years old?

Lena pops her head in. "Hey Xav, we need a keg changed."

"Sure, I'll be right out," I grunt.

"You all good?" she asks.

"Yep. I'm perfect." Then, my phone dings with a response from Ella.

Ella

Hey, my night is going great! I'm curled up on the couch reading my new book. Hope you're having fun at work! x

I wish I was curled up on the couch reading, but alas, I have a keg to change. I pocket my phone and get back to work. My daydreams will have to wait until I'm home, alone .