10. Ella

CHAPTER 10

ELLA

I've just gotten my hands on the latest romcom by one of my favourite romance authors, which was only released today. I'm standing in the aisle reading the blurb of something that looks deliciously smutty when a man's voice interrupts me.

"Hey, are you Ella?"

I look up and see some blond guy walking over to me.

"Uhhh… yes?" I have no idea who this guy is, though he does look somewhat familiar. He's tall-ish, slim, and muscular, blond-haired with a chiselled jaw, and a smattering of stubble.

"I thought it was you. It's me! How are you going?" he says confidently, thinking that I‘d recognise him. I just stare at him blankly.

"Sorry, I don't know who you are…" I trail off.

"It's Conor. I work with Clay. We were supposed to meet up for a drink last week."

Immediately the blood drains from my face. I recognise him now from the picture Millie sent me before our date. What. The. Fuck . "Oh. Wow, hi?"

"Sorry I couldn't make it last weekend. Just got busy, you know? No hard feelings I hope. Anyway, what're you up to? Just a bit of shopping? I'm here to get some texts for work, finance guides and whatnot. You look different in person, compared to the photos, I mean," he says, completely oblivious to the fact that I am shrinking inwardly on myself. The way this guy holds himself is so self-assured, so confident.

He got busy. He. Got. Busy . I don't think I've ever heard such a pathetic excuse. No respect or even decency to try and get in touch, despite Clay trying to contact him all week. And now he's trying to chat with me as if everything was fine? But also, what photos is he referring to? Millie told me they didn't show him any.

"You got busy. Really? That's the excuse you're going to give? I waited in that bar for an hour and a half. You could have at least had the decency to try and contact me afterwards to apologise. And what photos are you talking about?" I can feel myself starting to get all hot and flustered. My palms are starting to sweat, and my heart is racing.

"Did you really wait for an hour and a half? Why would you wait that long? I was watching cricket with the boys and time got away from me. I didn't have your number, and I figured because it was a blind date I didn't need to reach out. As for the photos, I was a bit hesitant when they said you were a librarian but a couple days ago, I thought I'd look you up and I found your Instagram account. You're definitely not the stereotypical librarian I had in my head." He smirks.

I can't believe he looked me up on Instagram, and is trying to compliment me by saying I don't look "stereotypical". Gross.

"I waited that long just in case you were late. Or had gotten the time wrong. Reaching out would have been the respectful thing to do, given how much of my time you wasted. But never mind, after this interaction, I feel like I should be thanking you for not showing up. You are definitely not my type." I can feel my eyes starting to burn. One of the things I really dislike about myself is the fact that I can't stand up for myself without crying. It drives me insane and makes me look weak in front of the other person.

"Well now, that's a bit harsh. You don't even know me. I'm sorry for not showing up, but we could always get a coffee now if you're free." He puts on what I assume is some sort of smile he uses when trying to get female attention. I think my vagina is shrivelling up at the sight of it.

"Yeah… I don't think so, buddy," I say. Suddenly, a warm body appears ne xt to mine and an arm wraps itself around my shoulders. I immediately know it's Xavier; his smoky scent envelops me and I'm so relieved. Saved by the lumberjack once again. I look up at him and our eyes meet, but there's concern shining in his. I relax under the weight of his arm.

"Hey, you've only got two books! I'm so proud." He starts running his fingers along my shoulder and I immediately break out in goosebumps. The effect is calming and grounding. He must be able to tell I'm uncomfortable. He then looks at Conor. "Oh, sorry. Who are you?"

"I'm Conor, who are you?"

Xavier frowns for a moment, and then I feel his body stiffen next to me as the realisation hits him. I showed him Conor's photo that night at my house. His arm tightens around me, and when I look up at him again, his eyes are burning into Conor's. Oh, he's pissed.

"So, you're Conor." He looks him up and down giving him a thorough perusal. With a sneer, he looks him in the eyes and says, "Yeah, that makes sense. You seem the type."

"What makes sense? What type?" Conor's confusion is evident in the furrow of his brow as he looks between the two of us.

"The type of guy whose ego is bigger than his dick and thinks it's okay to stand up a beautiful woman and not apologise for it." I try to hide my smile but fail.

"What the fuck man? Who even are you? I told her I was sorry. It's not your concern."

"Who I am is irrelevant. You hurt my friend, so that makes it my concern. I think it best if you just walk away. Bye-bye." Xavier starts to turn me away.

"Hang on a second. Ella, can I give you my number at least? I can try and make up for last weekend?"

"No thanks, I'm good." Conor stares at the two of us, realises he isn't getting anywhere, and storms off. Xavier and I stand there watching him go, his arm still around me. Once we see him heading down the escalator, I start to calm down. I didn't realise how tense I was. We walk towards the back of the bookstore to a more secluded corner, where I can recover away from the crowds.

"Oh my God. Why, of all places, did I have to bump into him in a bookstore?" I groan and bury my head in my hands.

"Hey." Xavier pulls my hands away from my face and takes my hands in his. "Are you okay?"

I huff a laugh. "Yeah, I think so. Just pissed off. He's ruined my morning and I was having such a good time."

"What excuse did he give for standing you up?"

"He got busy. Was watching cricket with the boys or something." I mumble.

"That's pathetic." Xavier spits. "He's a piece of shit. Be glad he didn't show up, guys like that are a waste of time."

"Yeah, you're right. Whatever. A guy like that wouldn't be into someone like me anyway."

"What are you on about? Someone like you? What do you mean?"

"I mean… you saw him. He's like, stereotypically hot. And I'm… me. Book nerd, lover of carbs, and a hopeless romantic. There's no way he would have been attracted to me even if he did show up on the date." I can feel a lump forming in my throat and pressure building behind my eyes. I take another deep breath. I refuse to cry in public over this. It's pathetic.

Xavier just looks at me like I've sprouted a third ear."Ella, stop. Fuck that guy. You are gorgeous."

I shake my head. "You're only saying that to try and make me feel better."

"The fuck I am." He grabs my chin and forces me to look at him. "I'm saying it because it's true. You are intelligent, passionate, and witty. You're beautiful. Any guy would be lucky to go on a date with you. I feel lucky being here with you, in your favourite place." A single tear escapes and slides down my cheek, and he brushes it away with his thumb."You don't believe me." It's a statement, not a question. And he's right. But it's so hard to truly believe what he's saying, after being alone and unwanted for so long.

"I want to believe you," I whisper. "But it's hard. Xav, I've been alone for so long. It's hard to believe you when no one wants me?—"

Suddenly, I'm cut off, as Xavier's lips crash onto mine. It takes me a second to register what is happening. He's kissing me. HE'S KISSING ME . I hesitate for just a moment, but before my overthinking brain can ruin this, I relax into it and kiss him back. His tongue softly brushes against mine, and something inside me ignites. I lose all self-control and kiss him with everything I've got. He grabs the back of my neck and pulls me closer to him. The kiss intensifies, and I let out a soft moan as he nips at my bottom lip. He tastes so sweet. He pulls away and starts to trail soft kisses along my jaw before reaching my neck. Pleasure rocks through my whole body as he kisses the spot behind my ear before his lips find mine again. I don't know how long we kiss for, but eventually he slows, and then stops. He rests his forehead against mine.

"Now… what were you saying, about no one wanting you?" he asks, breathless. We're both panting. "Because this…" He pushes himself against me and I gasp as I feel the evidence of his arousal. "Is me showing you. You are wanted. You are so fucking beautiful, and I don't want to hear any arguments coming out of that mouth of yours. Understand?" He takes a step back and looks at me. I nod. "Good."He stares at me for a moment longer, before he clears his throat and runs a hand through his hair nervously, a far cry from the confidence he showed mere seconds ago. It's almost like he can't quite believe what he just did either."Now, let's go pay for these books. Shall we?"

I'm still speechless so I just nod again. We walk over to the register and pay. What in the seven circles of hell just happened? Xavier kissed me. I kissed him back. I could feel how hard he was, for me . And I can feel the evidence of my own arousal between my legs. I walk out of the store with slightly swollen lips, turned on as hell, but possibly more confused than ever before.