Chapter 21

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

Liza

Saying goodbye to Eli was the hardest thing I'd ever done. He had another plane to catch, so nothing like the threat of missing a flight to force you to say goodbye faster than you would have wanted to.

I'm an absolute glutton for punishment because I couldn't help myself from watching every one of his games. It hurt so much to watch him appear on-screen, but what completely gutted me was that I could tell just how affected he was too.

The way he'd walk up to the plate to hit wasn't with his same swagger, and I could tell he wasn't as focused on the game as he had been in the previous games. After watching him make some stupid errors, I broke out in tears when I heard the coach yelling at him.

I couldn't hide my sadness from my aunt so I broke down and told her everything last night. Though I hated hearing we were right to break it off, she agreed it was really for the best.

Now, it's Monday morning, and I should be excited about my first day at work, but I can't help but think how this job ruined my life.

I know I need to change my train of thought, and I will. I just need to sit in my pity party for a few more days.

All the teachers are back this week to prepare for the upcoming school year, which officially starts next week. I'll think about what will happen then, but for today, I'm just focusing on my job and my lesson plans.

I pull up to the parking lot of Leighton River High, noticing just how different this school is from the schools I attended. My aunt mentioned how much more money Leighton River has due to TimeLand being there, but I had no clue it would be this extravagant. I feel like I'm walking on to a high school campus in Silicon Valley, not small-town Montana.

I guess tech money doesn't change much based on the town you're actually in.

Walking through the halls for the first time does crazy things to my head. On one hand, I remember what it felt like, being a freshman in high school and entering the halls for the first time, but on another hand, knowing these are the same halls that Eli walks through makes it hard to breathe.

How will I survive being here every day, knowing he's here, too, and I can't say one word to him? The thought makes me blink back tears.

If I can't even make it through the halls without him here, how can I survive the first day, let alone the entire school year?

I open the front office door and am greeted by the sweetest old lady who stands, holding her hand out to me. "You must be Liza Hernandez."

I shake her hand. "That's me. Are you Mrs. Holding?"

"Yes, but please call me Beth. Here." She motions for me to walk around the front desk. "Come on back, and I'll show you around. Earl should be back here, waiting for you too."

Earl must be Mr. Shaw, who is retiring and said he would walk me through everything for this week to make sure I'm prepared for the year.

She guides me through the offices, pointing out the principal's, vice principal's, and counselors' before bringing me to the teachers' lounge, where an older gentleman is sitting, reading the newspaper.

"Earl," Beth says. "I'd like for you to meet Liza Hernandez, our new teacher you'll be helping this week."

Earl closes the paper and stands to greet me. "Boy, I sure am glad they found you," he teases. "I was beginning to think they'd keep me here another year!"

We all laugh at his words.

"I'm officially here to relieve you from your duties so you can enjoy retirement."

"Oh, I like the sound of that."

He winks, and I laugh at how cute his excitement is. By the looks of it, he should have retired years ago. I'm guessing he's in his eighties now.

"Don't let him fool you," Beth whispers but makes it obvious that she knows he can hear her too. "He'll still come to hang out here daily. He loves this place more than anyone else."

He shrugs. "She's right. It was just time I finally hung up my hat because I was starting to have trouble hearing any questions the kids had. Okay"—he motions for me to follow him—"let's show you to your classroom."

I say my goodbyes to Beth and follow Earl through a side door that leads to his classroom, which is the very first one on the right.

"Well, you don't have much of a walk, do you?"

He pats my arm. "You're welcome for that. Seniority has its benefits, and now, you're getting to take advantage of it as well. Some teachers have to hike across the entire campus to get to their classrooms. Not me. I'm right here."

He opens the door, and I pause at the threshold, finally taking the moment in.

This is my classroom. I'm going to teach right here.

For the first time since Eli ripped my heart out, I feel semi-happy again about taking this job. I've worked very hard to get here, and I know I need to enjoy the fruits of my labor.

The day is over before I know it, and my excitement has transformed to fear, dread of the unknown, and anticipation of what's to come, all wrapped in a huge stack of papers that I'm taking home to go through.

Earl was great, but I realize now just how much work this first year will be. Having his lesson plans will help tremendously, but understanding his 1970s organization of it all was a little much.

He did do some things electronically, but most of it was stashed in filing cabinets, just waiting to be photocopied for this year. I tried not to laugh when he talked about how what worked then is still good today. Though there can be truth to that, he really was just causing more work for himself in the long run.

Now, it's my job to bring this class to the twenty-first century with technology as well as updating some of the references to things the students can understand and actually connect with.

As I walk to my car, I see action on the football field and am instantly brought back to my high school days, where I was a cheerleader for all four years. Wanting to relive those moments, I put the stack in my car and head to the stands to get a look at the players.

On my way there, I feel like I'm punched in the gut when I see Eli's truck parked next to one that I can only imagine is his friend Dalton's by the way he explained it earlier and another black one.

I think back to what I knew about the trip he was last on and realize I never got the actual day he'd be home. I knew that was his last baseball trip, but he'd been so involved with baseball that I forgot that he played football altogether.

Everything in my body is telling me to turn around, but my feet continue to move like my heart is willing them forward and my brain has no say in the matter.

Once I'm in the stands, looking over the field, I see Eli plain as day as the leader in the huddle, then stepping back into the quarterback position.

How did I not know he was the quarterback?

I shake my head in thought as I wonder what else I didn't know about him.

We didn't talk much about sports, which surprises me now as I look back. It seems to be this huge aspect of his life that I didn't know much about. I only knew he traveled for baseball and was gone—a lot!

He throws the ball for a play that's caught in the end zone, then runs to the sideline, where his coach is calling him over. As he takes his helmet off, his eyes lock on mine, and I freeze, not able to breathe for a moment.

I don't know if I should turn around to leave or wave to say hello, but in this moment, my brain is completely nonexistent, and I'm left standing here like an idiot, staring at the man I love while my heart breaks all over again.

"Jones," I hear the coach yell, breaking the spell we had on each other.

He turns to his coach, and I finally figure out how to breathe and move once again.

How? How am I going to make it through the day when I can't even function with him this far away?

I turn to leave with the only thoughts running through my head that I need to leave Leighton River, not sure if I'll ever come back.