Chapter 37

Chapter

Thirty-Seven

PHOENIX

“Dio said they arrived safely,” I tell Athena. “He said that Ani was sick for most of the trip.”

Athena looks up from the papers that scatter a large table that she uses as a desk when she visits me in the attic. “Sick? Is she all right? Do we need to get a doctor out to the villa?”

I’m not used to seeing worry cross Athena’s face. She rarely shows any emotion, and worry is something she rarely does. If she does worry about anything, she does a damn good job concealing it. Our father taught us early on in life to not reveal emotions. They make us weak. The Godwin family will not survive if there is weakness present. A face that is impossible to read makes a strong, feared man.

That belief has served us well up to this point.

“He assured me it was just pregnancy sickness, but I’m going to have a doctor check her and the baby out tomorrow. I’ll have someone come to the house,” I say. “I haven’t given the house staff any set rules or restrictions on whether I will allow Ani out of the house or not.”

Athena takes a long moment staring at me before she looks back down at the papers and gets back to work. We sit in silence, which is what we often do when we are stewing on something. One thing about my relationship with my sister is we aren’t impulsive in our speaking or actions. Plus, all the talk about Ani is crossing a line we’ve never really crossed before. It’s personal talk. Athena doesn’t like personal, and I’m the same. If we don’t have to discuss business, then we pretty much keep to ourselves. It’s clear we both don’t want to talk about Ani, or the baby, more than we have to. That much is obvious.

“I’m concerned we may not have enough security there,” Athena says casually without looking up from her reading. “Our dear uncle is planning a big move for Poseidon. I can feel it. I can smell it. I don’t want there to be any collateral damage. I wouldn’t put it past him to somehow utilize Ani and the baby to attack us.”

“Then we’ll get more.” I will have Dio arrange that before heading back to the States. Athena isn’t an alarmist, but she has exceptional foresight and can almost see what is in store for us. I’ve never doubted her hunch.

“It doesn’t seem fair to keep her locked away inside, however. Not everyone is a hermit like you, dear brother. You already did that, and well… you had promised her that once her punishment was over, it was over.”

“True, but she’s carrying my baby. A Godwin. So, I have to take her safety into consideration from this point on. She’ll never just be a normal woman walking the streets of the Eastside of Heathens Hollow again. Life has changed. Once people get wind that another Godwin heir is being added to the family tree, she’ll be a marked woman from that point on.”

“She may be more of a prisoner now than she was in the manor,” Athena says.

“It’s our reality. Her new reality.”

“I know Spain was my idea, but she’s a long way away if she…” I can see the wheels spinning in Athena’s head.

“Needs us?” I answer for her. “Yeah, I’ve been thinking about that.”

“And who is this Ricardo guy looking after her? Do we even know anything about him?” Athena asks, obviously not focusing on work any longer. “How do we know our uncle or even our father can’t get control over him?”

“He’s vetted, but I already asked Dio to grill him and watch his every move while he’s there. We may want to have Dio stay in Spain a little longer than planned. Just to be sure,” I say.

“I’ve been thinking about our grandfather a lot lately,” Athena says.

“How so?”

“He was a feared leader of the family. No one gave him shit. It was known to never mess with Cronus Godwin.”

“Yeah. So? We’re feared as well. Our father most certainly followed in his footsteps, too. ”

“Right. Some would even say we’re feared and respected even more.”

“Your point?” I’m not sure what she is getting at.

“Our grandfather was able to rule with an iron fist, but he was never that way with Grandmother. He loved her. Cherished her. There wasn’t a thing he wouldn’t do for her. He was the same with us when we were young. He softened at home, but no one ever saw that side of him beyond our four walls.”

“He was a good man,” I agree.

“So, why are you completely ruling out doing the same? Is it so unheard of that you can’t have a family?”

I point to the attic. “Look around, dear sister. I think the answer is clear.”

“It doesn’t have to be, brother. You have a son or daughter coming.”

“You’ve never been one to not just get straight to the point. Where are you going with this?”

Athena leans back in her chair. “When you came up with this crazy idea of having Ani pay for lying to you via her body, and then having your baby, it was crazy. But you do you, brother. No matter how much of a psychopathic idea it may be. And I saw your point about having a baby to keep the Godwin family name alive and not just be the child of Daphne who both of us will never trust. But the reality is, you started a family. Whether you want to face that fact or not, you did.”

“So, are you saying you want my psychopathic ass to raise this baby? Try to be a good father?”

“I’m just wondering why you’ve ruled that out?”

I lean forward on the desk and lock my eyes with my sister. “We’ve talked about this and all the reasons why.”

“I know. I guess I’m second-guessing your decision. It feels weak. Like the decision was made from a place of fear. I don’t like the way that feels,” Athena admits. “We are motherfucking Godwins. We don’t cower in the shadows.”

I know what she is talking about. Ever since leaving Ani on the bed with her heart ripped out, I couldn’t shake my own level of sadness. I did feel weak, but then again, I’ve never claimed to be a strong man. I’ve left that role for my siblings.

“She deserves better than me,” I say.

Athena smirks. “She sure as fuck does. I won’t argue there.”

“So, what are we saying here?” My heart speeds up, and my brain swirls with possibilities. The heavy, thick depression that has been plaguing me since my arrival back in the attic seems to be dissipating as our discussion progresses.

“You told me Ani said she wanted to be with you. She said she loved you.”

I nod.

“You have a woman who sees you for who you are. She knows what you do in the shadows and isn’t asking for you to quit being who you are. She’s open to your darkness. She’s willing to have your baby and not demanding anything for it.”

“Not to mention her sexual tastes mesh with my kinky ass,” I say with a small chuckle.

Athena makes a gagging sound and scowls. “Too much information.”

“But she did lie to me. She got Apollo into what could be a mess later. She’s still Daphne’s sister.”

Athena’s smile fades. “True, and there is a part of me that wonders if I can truly ever trust her to be part of the Godwin family. I don’t trust. I don’t forgive. I don’t allow someone in. I know this. And you’re the same way.”

“We don’t trust, or we risk everything for letting our guard down. It’s how we survive. Or at least, it has been our creed up until now.”

I pause for a long moment. “I think I’m over all that. My gut tells me she isn’t the person I believed her to be. I see good,” I admit, or maybe even defend. Athena hasn’t seen what I have, but Ani is… more than what I ever gave her credit for.

Athena surprisingly nods in agreement. “I think you’re right. You’ve always had a good gut instinct.”

“Let me ask you a serious question,” I say. “If I marry her. Claim her and the baby as mine forever. Do you really see her becoming part of the Godwin family? Or do you see her resisting like Daphne did?”

“Only you can answer that,” Athena fires back. “Do you love her?”

“Well, I sure as fuck wasn’t planning on falling in love with the woman when this all began,” I answer.

I stand up and pace the room. I don’t do relationships. True relationships. And the women I’ve had in the past—no matter how insignificant they were—I have never loved. Quite the opposite. I am overprotective, over-possessive, and what is mine is mine, but I never love.

Mine.

Ani is not just mine… I love her .

Am I going to be all right with that fact? It has given her power. My love will forever be a chink in my armor.

“And what about raising our father?” I begin. “He’s toxic. You know this.”

Athena smirks. “We’re all toxic. Nothing is going to change that. But something about Ani tells me she’s accepted that fact.”

I sit back down and stare at my sister. “I know for a fact that I want Ani. I want this baby. I have no idea how everything else will work, but I know the basics. There is a primal need inside me that wants her in my arms. Never to let go.”

“I think you have your answer,” Athena says.

“I do, too. My gut is screaming for me to listen to my heart and to tell my cautious mind to shut the fuck up.” I run my hands through my hair and take in a deep breath. “Jesus Christ. Am I really considering this? What am I saying here?”

“I think you need to take the Godwin jet to Madrid,” Athena answers.