Chapter 36

Chapter

Thirty-Six

ANI

As I finish washing out my mouth from my new morning ritual of throwing up my breakfast, the butler from Olympus Manor knocks on the open bathroom door. His presence doesn’t surprise me, even though I’ve only seen him a few times before, and always while he’s serving us food. And I had always been naked.

This time, however, I’m fully dressed in a light, summery floral dress with pink high heels. He doesn’t say a word and hands me a letter. The words on the note are like a punch to the gut, but they should make me happy:

A dove has wings for a reason and doesn’t deserve to be inside a cage.

~Phoenix

I haven’t seen Phoenix for a full day, which can only mean one thing. “Has he left already?” I ask, staring at my reflection in the mirror and leaning against the sink for support.

“He returned to Olympus Manor,” the butler replies.

“He’s not coming back to Seattle.” I already know the answer. I knew it the minute he had left the room, that what we had was over.

“No. But all the arrangements have been made for you to leave as well. Is there anything you want to pack or bring with you?” the butler asks.

“Well, that all depends. Do I have to earn my comfort items in this new place you are taking me to, or will I have access to a bed at least?” I ask with a smile. I refuse to cry. Absolutely refuse. Damn those tears that burn my eyes.

“Everything will be provided for you there. Mr. Godwin wanted me to tell you that you’ll have a generous allowance as well, so I’m sure you can purchase anything that wasn’t thought of. Also, there will be a full staff waiting for you there to assist with you and…” the butler looks at my stomach. “There will be people there to help with you and the baby.”

Fury builds inside of me, but it’s no match for the overwhelming despair and sadness that overpowers all other emotions. “I’m fine. I can go anytime you’re ready.”

“Mr. Godwin has asked me to make sure you call your sister and inform her you got a job overseas. To explain your absence to her.”

I nod. “Yes, of course.”

“Would you like me to write a script out for you?”

“I’ve got it.” Daphne’s been so distracted lately that she won’t pick up on my blatant lies. Plus, she’ll be so happy to hear that I got a job and won’t be returning to the Eastside of Heathens Hollow.

“After the phone call, we can leave.”

I won’t ask where we’re going. I don’t care. I won’t ask when I’ll see Phoenix again. I don’t care. I won’t ask any questions about my future. I don’t care. It’s just me and the baby I carry. No one else. Just us.

As I step into my new home, an older man in a pressed gray linen suit with a baby blue tie says, “Welcome to your new home, Mrs. Godwin.”

I correct him by saying, “My name is Ani Parker,” and then look over his shoulder to find a place to sit. My journey has exhausted me, and I’m suffering morning sickness, night sickness, and every-hour-of-the-day sickness. All I want is to find a bed and sleep for days.

The man offers his arm to assist me, and I take it out of need as I worry my knees will collapse underneath me. He tells me that my room is ready if I want to rest, and that dinner is still a few hours away but can be pushed back if I’m still napping. I agree, and he leads me up the stairs to my room. The butler, whose name I now know to be Dio, is trailing behind me, tells the man that he will be staying for a few days to help me get settled in and train the staff on what Phoenix Godwin expects for Mrs. Godwin.

Although I am too tired to tell them to stop calling me by a name that isn’t mine, I take in the Spanish villa, which is fully furnished with rustic furniture and antiques. Romantic paintings of the countryside and small Spanish villages hang on the aged walls of yesteryear. The smell of savory food being cooked in the kitchen adds to the idyllic environment, but it is just another version of a prison, and this time, I will be alone.

The man who introduces himself as Ricardo shows me to my bedroom, and I half-expect to see the room empty, as my room was when I first began my penance. However, it is far from that. The beautiful bed dominates the room, with a carved wooden headboard and engraved flowers that match the nightstands, the large armoire, dresser, and small desk and chair beneath the window. Everything in the room is custom made, including the patchwork quilt on the bed.

Ricardo leaves me alone to rest, but not before telling me that there is a private bathroom behind the door on the right of the armoire, fully stocked with all the hygiene items I could need, as well as towels and washcloths. He assures me that if I need anything, I should not hesitate to ask. As I collapse on the bed, I make a mental note to ask Ricardo about ordering some pregnancy books, as I know nothing about pregnancy and have no one to guide me.

I try to let the exhaustion wash over me and quiet my mind, but I wonder where Phoenix is, and if he will want to be involved with the pregnancy at all. As I try to fall asleep, I know that this is not some romantic love story where I have a doting spouse to be with me every step of the way.

This is madness. Complete madness. I place my hand on my belly. How long will it be before I start showing? I’ve been a loner in my previous life and don’t have any girlfriends who went through this. I don’t have a living mother to guide me or some trusted aunt. Though I know Daphne would love to be here by my side, this isn’t a possibility, either. It’s just me.

I roll over to my side and try to allow the pure exhaustion to wash over me and quiet my mind. A clock ticks a few doors close downstairs, and heavy footsteps go up and down the stairs.

I need to sleep. Sleep. Sleep .

Would anyone other than Phoenix care about this baby in his family?

Go to sleep, Ani. Go to sleep and stop thinking about them. You aren’t a Godwin and never will be. Stop!

I can’t remember the last time I’ve been this tired, and yet I can’t fall asleep. My mind won’t cease for even a moment.

Why has Phoenix done this to me? How can he just leave without saying goodbye? I’m carrying his child. Shouldn’t he have at least escorted me across the world himself?

How could I have gotten this so wrong? Yes, it started off as me fucking up by lying and him making sure I paid the price. But there was more between us. I truly believe that. Our bodies respond to each other… correction. My body responds. Clearly, I’m nothing more than just a fuck for him.

So why am I mad? He hasn’t broken any promises. He told me from the beginning what to expect. He’s only following through with what he’s always planned to do. Do I really have a right to be mad?

I’m not mad.

I’m heartbroken.