44. CODY

CODY

2016

“ Y ou didn’t need to hit him, Cael Cody.” Mama pressed the ice to my face and I hissed in pain as she gripped the back of my head in anger.

“Yeah, I did,” I said with conviction.

He deserved more.

My skin was crawling.

Mama had sent me up to drop off a crate of vegetables and I heard her crying from the porch. Anger flared inside of me like I had never felt before in my entire life and I saw red. Kiefer’s hands were all over her and she was begging him to stop.

You should be grateful .

Tears streamed down my cheeks and Mama's hold loosened on my hair.

That asshole had hurt my Clementine and who knows what he would have done–

“He’s lucky I only hit him once,” I choked out.

Dad went to stay at the Matthews’ house until they got back from the city, but Clementine had gotten off the floor without saying a word to me and marched to her room. I sat at the bottom of the stairs and listened to the shower run for nearly an hour before I called Mama. She rushed over and, the second she saw my face, she called Dad.

Mama got Clementine out of the shower and tucked in bed, but I could still hear the haunting sobs that echoed from the loft. I would never scrub the sound from my memory .

All I wanted to do was find that asshole and hit him again, over and over, until he begged me to stop, and then hit him again. My hands curled into fists at my side as the nausea built in the pit of my stomach.

“Violence isn’t ever the answer,” she gripped my chin, “but I’m sorry you were right about that boy; you shouldn’t have to carry that guilt.”

“I don’t feel guilty, I feel angry,” I snapped at her, and her brows pinched together.

“My boy is never angry,” she whispered. “You don’t even know how to feel that way. Dig deeper, Honeybug, ‘cause it’s something else eating at you.” She tapped her finger once beneath my chin.

“Alright, maybe I feel a little guilty or sad, but what was I supposed to do? She was already spending less time with me, and if I spent all that time talking about how horrible Kiefer was…”

“She would have fought you on it,” she finished my sentence.

“So what was I supposed to do?” I practically whined. “Make her sad?”

“You did your best and you protected her when it mattered, Honeybug,” Mama reassured me. Truck lights flashed at the Matthews’ house and my heart shattered as we watched them both hurry into the house.

“I don’t know what to do now. Do I go see her?” I asked, stumbling through unknown territory.

“Give her the night,” Mama suggested. “We can go over in the morning.”

I nodded, excusing myself, and went to sit in the chair that faced the front windows to watch her house. I wasn’t going to get any sleep anyways so I would wait until the sun came up to make sure Clementine was okay.