8. Rhys

Sitting in my office, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was a complete idiot. Last night had been nothing short of amazing—spending time with Jaxson, sharing dinner, watching a movie, and those lingering kisses. But even with all the amazingness going on, guilt gnawed at me.

I’d rehearsed the conversation we needed to have so many times, determined to come clean about who I really was. I’d stood in my bathroom in front of the mirror practicing what I needed to say. I’d even mentally prepared myself for the revelation.

But every time I looked into Jaxson’s eyes, my resolve had faltered. How could I tell him I was a shifter, about Emilia and her likely heritage? What if he ran in the other direction? We were new. He clearly felt the connection. Was I committing a lie of omission by waiting to tell him?

Yes!

Stupid, honest subconscious.

The weight of my deception bore down on me, suffocating me with its magnitude. I knew I couldn’t keep hiding, couldn’t keep stringing Jaxson along under false pretenses. Yet, despite my best efforts, fear held me back.

As I sat there, struggling with my inner turmoil, I made a silent vow to myself. Tonight would be the night. Tonight, I would face my fears and tell him the truth, no matter how daunting it seemed. Jaxson deserved to know the real me, even if it meant risking everything we could be.

A text came in on the sibling chat, but I didn’t open it immediately. Then it hit me. I had someone who’d already been through this. I got out of my chair and hurried out, heading for Gabe’s office.

I hoped he would give me some clarity in the midst of my total confusion.

Gabe had told Kian about himself, so I knew he could offer me guidance. He had gone through the exact same thing when he had to reveal his true identity to him. Despite being my best friend, I never told Kian about my secret during our years of sharing a dorm room in college. I’d been eaten up by guilt then, and now holding back the information from my unknowing mate was times a thousand.

When I stopped outside his closed door, I rapped my knuckles against it and strode in without bothering to wait for a reply from him.

I walked in and took a seat across from Gabe. “Hey, Gabe. You got a moment? I need to ask you something.”

He rolled his eyes but motioned for me to go on. “Sure thing, Rhys,” Gabe replied, his gaze curious as he leaned back in his chair.

I hesitated for a moment, unsure how to broach the subject. “How did you tell Kian about being a shifter?” I finally asked, my voice betraying the weight of my uncertainty.

“I know you’ve heard this story before.”

“Yeah, but I don’t remember the details,” I sighed and blew out a breath. “Can you just tell me?”

He chuckled softly, a glint in his eyes. “Well, I basically just blurted it out,” he confessed with a shrug. “And then I shifted right in front of him.”

I nodded slowly. “That’s what I thought.”

It seemed so simple when Gabe put it that way, yet I couldn’t shake the fear that gripped me whenever I thought about revealing my true nature to Jaxson.

“Seems like it worked out pretty well for the two of you.”

Gabe grinned, a fond smile playing on his lips. “Yeah, it did. But as you know, he was shocked at first, of course, but he took it surprisingly well. He loves me for who I am, shifter and all.”

My oldest brother looked at me and smiled like that was the end of the story.

I raised my eyebrows and responded with disbelief, “That’s it? That’s the only advice you have for me? You know I have to tell him and all you give me is,” I did my best impression of him, “he loves me for who I am.”

Gabe chuckled at me. I didn’t think it was funny at all. “Okay, calm down. You know I had a long conversation with Mark, right?”

Mark was the family accountant and was married to a human.

I nodded. “He’s with Thomas.”

Gabe nodded. “That’s right, for almost twenty years. And Thomas is human.”

I rolled my eyes like this was earth-shattering news. Didn’t he understand what I needed from him? “I know, but what did he say that helped you so much?”

Gabe reclined further in his chair and looked at the ceiling, evidently trying to remember what wisdom had been shared. After an agonizingly long time, he looked back, and me and smiled. “I guess he just reminded me it’s like every other relationship. It requires work.”

I narrowed my eyes and gave him the finger. Then added a second one for good measure. The asshole. Gabe burst out laughing. When he got himself under control, he leaned forward, evidently more than amused by my response. I hated being the baby sometimes.

“Look, Rhys. It’s like this. We shifters are privy to some pretty powerful information once we meet our mate, right? We know, without a shadow of a doubt, that person was handpicked for us.”

I nodded, my ire beginning to wane.

“But that doesn’t mean the relationship doesn’t need work.” He sighed, “I bet every bit of your brain, including your bear, is pushing you to claim your mate. Or rather to be claimed by your mate.” Gabe’s brow furrowed and he opened his mouth, but then quickly shut it.

I could bet he was thinking how Jaxson would claim me since he wasn’t a shifter, but honestly, that was the least of my problems, not that the thought hadn’t crossed my mind.

“I know from the moment you scented him, your bear has been pushing you to be claimed?” It sounded more like a question than a statement. Like he wasn’t sure how it worked in the reverse.

“Yes?” I didn’t feel the need to elaborate. When the time came, Jaxson and I would figure it out.

If it ever comes,a very sarcastic voice supplied.

Gabe must have decided it wasn’t his business, at least for now, so he went on. “I bet it feels like there is this huge part of yourself that you can’t share with him, and you want to share everything. Right?”

I pointed at him. “Yes, that. That’s exactly it.” It felt good hearing my fears understood… okay, maybe good wasn’t the right word.

Gabe nodded sagely, like he knew what I needed all along and was just torturing his little brother for the fun of it.

“I’ll tell you what Mark said to me.” I leaned forward, ready for whatever advice could help me. “Trust that the Gods know what they’re doing. Trust your mate. They didn’t make him smell that way for no reason.”

I snorted. “That’s it?”

Gabe let out a weird combination snort and chuckle. “Mark made me realize that every relationship, no matter what kind, takes a leap of faith. I won’t sugarcoat it for you, little bro. The reality is, even after you tell him and show him everything, he could still run away.”

My hope sunk as my heart was pounded in my chest. I knew Gabe could hear it. But he’d just verbalized all of my deepest fears. I dropped my gaze to my hands where I had them clasped together so hard my knuckles had turned white.

Gabe must have recognized my despair. “Trust me, I had that nightmare on repeat,” he admitted.

I sighed.

But he wasn’t done shooting holes in my balloon of hope.

“Don’t forget, there’s always the chance he might spill the beans to the wrong person,” Gabe chimed in, adding to the endless list of worst-case scenarios that had been haunting me since I first laid eyes on Jaxson.

“Which could put everyone of us in danger,” I said. Another thing that haunted me.

Gabe remained surprisingly calm as he responded, “As Mark helpfully pointed out, most people won’t believe him.”

I sighed.

“You could always choose not to ever tell him.”

His words struck me hard. The mere thought of not telling him made me flinch involuntarily.

“But we both know that our bears are a huge part of who we are. Not only that, but they’re possessive assholes. They’d want to meet their mate too.”

It was a fact. I wanted my mate to truly understand and connect with the bear within me; we were inseparable, two halves of the same coin.

“Sometimes we fixate on the convenience of having a shifter as our mate, because they would immediately know what we are without need for an explanations. But the truth is regardless of their shifter status, we still have to put in the effort to make the relationship work. It’s about compromise and getting to know each other. Being a shifter simply confirms that they’re meant for us. But ultimately, it doesn’t change the fact that we possess something special - a gift, even.” He stopped speaking and locked eyes with me, as if waiting for my question.

So I obliged, asking him what he meant by “Which is?”

“You realize he picked you, right? There’s no animal instinct guiding him. Maybe there’s a little divine intervention from the Gods since I believe the mate bond starts to form regardless of whether your mate is a human or a shifter. But he’s choosing you without any guarantee. He wants you without any certainty. There’s something truly remarkable about it, when you think about it.”

His words sank in and I couldn’t deny the truth behind them. Jaxson seemed to have an interest in me… or at least something in me.

“Trust me when the time is right, you’ll tell him. And gods willing, it will go perfectly. Or if you don’t want to wait, just do what I did. It worked for me,” he said with a grin.

I rolled my eyes again, but managed a smile. It had. My brother and my best friend were incredibly happy together and I really couldn’t be more thrilled for them. But thinking about it, I didn’t think confronting Jaxson in the same way was the best course of action. The idea of surprising him by shifting was tempting. For one, it was a dramatic gesture that would leave no room for doubt and bonus it would get it out of the way. But it could also backfire and blow up in my face. As I mulled it over with what I knew about him so far, I wasn’t so sure.

I couldn’t shake the feeling that surprising Jaxson in my bear”s form might not be the best idea. After all, how would he react if he suddenly found himself face to face with a fully grown bear in his living room? I could almost picture the fear and confusion that would cloud his expression, when the instinctive urge to protect himself and Emilia kicking in.

I couldn’t let that happen. Suddenly, with a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach, I realized surprising Jaxson in such a manner could do more harm than good. It might push him into defense mode, triggering a reaction that could irreparably damage this thing we were building between us.

Plus, he had a gun… so yeah, definitely #MAJORBADIDEA… abort.exe.

I sighed heavily, running a hand through my hair in frustration. This wasn’t how I’d envisioned things playing out when I met my mate. I always imagined it going perfectly, which was absolutely ridiculous looking back.

I’d hoped that revealing my true nature to him would bring us closer together, strengthening the bond between us. But now, faced with the reality of the situation, I couldn’t help but feel lost.

I chewed on my bottom lip, heart heavy with the weight of my secret. I had to find another way, a more delicate approach. One filled with care and sensitivity. It wouldn’t be as dramatic, but it was the right thing to do for both of us.

And it would go well. It had to. He was my mate. There was no other outcome, right?

I couldn’t deny that talking to Gabe had given me a small glimmer of hope in the midst of all my uncertainties. If Kian and Cooper had accepted Gabe and Graham, then there was no reason for mine to go differently, right?

The odds were in my favor that Jaxson would also accept me, bear and all.

“When are we going to get to meet him? You know the family wants to size him up.”

Horror streaked through me at the thought of my brothers interrogating Jaxson. “No time soon. It’s not time yet.”

Standing abruptly, I thanked Gabe for his advice and left his office, feeling a newfound determination to face my fears and tell Jaxson the truth before my family bullied their way into my budding relationship. Good intentions or not, I couldn’t let them near him yet.

But if I didn’t shift, then I didn’t know how else I’d prove it, either. After all, Jaxson wouldn’t just take my word for it, right?