7. Jaxson

Icouldn’t stop thinking about why Rhys had bolted out of here as if he were being chased by a demon. I was certain that I hadn’t misinterpreted his behavior. I knew for a fact that I hadn’t.

There was an undeniable pull between Rhys and me. Whether it was due to him liking me or simply being drawn to me, I couldn’t say for sure. But one thing was certain: I was definitely drawn to him as well.

Besides, if anyone should run, it was me. The man had been lurking outside my window like a crazy stalker. I snorted and shook my head. Honestly, it should have me running for the hills, but even as I replayed the surreal events of the previous night, a small smile tugged at the corners of my lips. There was something about Rhys’ unexpected antics that I found oddly endearing.

I was good at reading people. There was no malicious intent there. My perception had saved both my life and my team more than once.

Then there was Emilia. I wasn’t sure what he’d done to her, but she’d slept almost through the night. She was fussy earlier but after a lot of begging, giving her a bottle, changing her diaper twice, and now she was reclined and napping in her swing. And I could focus on my work for a while.

Scrolling through my email, I scanned for any concerns from my current client list, and any inquiries for my services. As a freelance cyber security specialist, most of my time was spent conducting regular security assessments and analyzing where my clients” firewalls and security systems could be vulnerable to attack. Working for myself had allowed me to take the time I needed to cope with the loss of both my sister and brother-in-law, and to learn how to be a full-time dad to an infant. It was exhausting all the way around. And doing it completely alone was even worse.

And that brought my thoughts back to the baby whisperer. And how he’d soothed her so easily. And then there was the kiss that made me hard every time I thought about it.

Even though Rhys ran out on me, I was looking forward to seeing him again. I needed answers. As I worked, my mind whirled with questions. I’d seen something in his eyes. But here was something holding him back. The way he touched me and pushed me onto the sofa had been hot. I was convinced if Emilia hadn’t cock-blocked me, things might have gotten very handsy between us. Just thinking about it had me chubbing up.

I looked over at my phone sitting on my desk. He wanted to be here, so there was no reason not to reach out. So I picked it up, clicked on my message icon, and inhaled deeply before finally sending the text I’d typed out earlier. Why was I nervous about this?

I rolled my eyes, realizing I was being ridiculous. And I didn’t do ridiculous.

“Way to go, Jax,” I mumbled to myself. “ Way to put yourself out there.” I went back to staring blindly at the phishing reports I had to go through, but unfortunately, they couldn’t seem to hold my attention.

I glanced over at my sleeping baby in her swing. Why hadn’t I thought to put her in that thing earlier? She obviously loved it. Rhys had known exactly how what to do to make her happy. Maybe I was making her nervous with my unease. The only time I felt settled was when he was here with us. And if I wanted more of that, I needed to make it happen.

Grabbing my phone, I considered reaching out to Rhys once more. I had already considered that maybe this feeling was simply because I was feeling lonely, but I dismissed that thought. I knew myself well enough to know I was perfectly content with my own company. Besides, I still spoke to Shepherd every day. Some of the other guys, too.

There was something about Rhys. I could sense something special about him. When my tuition repeatedly confirmed what my gut already told me - there was a strong connection between us, I couldn’t quite explain. Despite the short time I’d known him, I trusted Rhys.

When he still hadn’t responded to my text, I decided to check in with Shepherd. Maybe he could give me some advice.

Me: You free?

My phone vibrated, and I got up to answer the call without disturbing my girl. Tapping the green button, Shep’s face instantly appeared on my screen. I could see the familiar blur of his office in the background, papers scattered across his desk and stacks of books teetering precariously.

“Hey. You sure you’re not busy?” I asked, rubbing the back of my neck. He was clearly in the middle of something.

“Nope,” he replied. I could see the genuine happiness in his eyes at seeing me. “How’s my little princess?”

I snorted, “Fine., but still competing with me for who can survive on the least amount of sleep record,” I deadpanned.

Shepherd chuckled, his eyes crinkling at the corners as he smiled. “Serves. you right for all those times you woke us up at the ass crack of dawn,” he teased, his voice warm with affection.

I snorted again but couldn’t help grinning back at him. “Guess she takes after me in more ways than one.”

His smile softened, a thoughtful look crossing his features. “So, what’s on your mind, Jax?” Shepherd always had a way of cutting through the small talk and getting straight to the heart of things.

I hesitated for a moment, debating how much to reveal. But then I sighed, knowing I could trust him with anything. “I met someone,” I finally admitted, watching Shepherd’s reaction closely.

There was even a part of me that wondered why I phrased it that way, but I would figure that out later.

Shepherd raised an eyebrow in curiosity. “Really? That didn’t take long,” he mused, a playful glint in his eyes.

I rolled my eyes at his eagerness but couldn’t help but chuckle. “It’s not like that. I mean, I don’t know what it’s like.” I stumbled over my words, feeling a flush rise to my cheeks.

Shepherd’s expression softened, his eyes filled with understanding. “Hey, it’s okay. Take your time.”

I took a deep breath, grateful for Shepherd’s patience. “His name is Rhys,” I began, feeling the weight of whatever had made him bolt the night before. Once the floodgates were open, I told Shep about him and how he’d saved my ass more than once. And how he’d managed to scare the shit out of me, slinking around in the garden in the dead of night.

“There’s something about him… something different.”

Shepherd’s eyes narrowed slightly, his analytical mind already piecing things together. “Different how?”

I rubbed my fingers over my unshaven jaw as I hesitated, unsure of how to articulate the strange connection I felt with Rhys. “I don’t know exactly. It’s like… there’s this pull between us. But he’s also… guarded.” I struggled to find the right words. Maybe it was me, but it felt as if Rhys had wanted to tell me something yesterday and decided against it.

Shepherd nodded in understanding. “And that’s usually your role?”

I rolled my eyes. “There’s just something about him, Shep. Something I can’t quite explain.”

Shepherd’s smile faded, replaced by a more serious expression as he studied me intently. “What do you mean? I know I don’t have to tell you that you can’t be too trusting with strangers even in a small town, Jax.”

I nodded, understanding Shepherd’s concern. “But he’s not a stranger, Shep. He’s Jayson’s cousin. Maybe all these feelings are surfacing from missing my family. He said we were family now. But there’s just this… strong sexual connection between us, but it’s not about sex. It’s hard to describe. It’s like I know him or have been waiting to meet him if you believe in that shit.”

Shepherd leaned back in his chair, his brow furrowed in thought. “Well, you’re the one who said it, so you must believe it.”

Trust him to point that out.

“Yeah, I know. I’m not just trying to get an inch scratched. We both know we can do that easily.”

He nodded in acknowledgment.

“I can’t shake the feeling that I need to see him again.”

“So call him. I’m sure you have his number. And if you don’t, you know how to get it.”

I grunted. “Yeah. I have it.”

Shep rolled his eyes at me. “Don’t complicate things, Jax. Follow you gut. If you spend time with him, it’ll get clearer one way or the other. And I’m guessing he’s met our little princess.”

I nodded as a smile took over my stupid face. “You should see him with her. I swear he has the magic touch. And babies apparently can tell good people. She literally goes right to sleep when he holds her. Even I fell asleep with him in the house while he was here.”

He knew what that meant.

Shep held my gaze. “Call him?—”

Emilia’s babbling had him pausing. His grin was ear to ear.

“She sounds happy.”

I nodded. “She is. And who knew the magical powers of a baby swing.”

Pushing off the wall, I made my way back to her.

“Don’t look for problems. Have a little faith in yourself that you know how the fuck to handle things. Trust yourself, and give yourself a fucking break .”

Emilia swung back and forth, and her eyes brightened when she saw me. I stood there for a moment, gazing down at her cherubic face, legs kicking as she moved.

“Yeah, you’re right.”

Lost in the sweet moment with Emilia, my thoughts inevitably drifted to Rhys—the man was an enigma, and somehow he’d managed to unravel layers of emotions within me. I wish he could see her now.

I found her pacifier when she began to grunt. Emilia’s face turned pink and a familiar foul odor of baby poop filled the air.

“I know what that means, baby-girl.” I said to her. Shep chuckled in the background.

“Don’t laugh, buddy. Your day is coming,” I scolded. “Next time I see you, I’ll let you do the changing of the diaper.”

“I’ll let you go take care of business. Talk soon, Jax.”

I smiled at my best friend. “Yeah, thanks Shep. Talk soon.”

He nodded, but before he ended the call, he pointed at me. “Call him. And trust yourself to know what to do. It’s okay.”

Shep ended the call without giving me time to respond. I grinned and stuffed my phone in my back pocket. Lifting Emilia out of the swing, I took her in my arms and carried her up the stairs to change her diaper.

“You like him, don’t you?” I asked as she stared me in the eyes and released a gassy fart.

The moment took me by surprise, and I couldn’t help but laugh. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d laughed like this.

“I’m going to take that as a yes.”

I worked her out of her onesie and removed the offending diaper. The smell of baby poop had become familiar, and I no longer gagged at the odor.

“We’re getting the hang of this, baby girl. I’m not as much of a rookie as Rhys claims. I can do all the baby stuff. He has nothing on me,” I boasted, knowing that was bullshit. My girl must have disagreed because she released another gas cloud.

“Yeah, okay. You’re right. He’s better at all of this.”

Emilia gifted me with a sweet baby squeal that made me smile. She kicked her legs as I wrapped the new diaper snuggly and worked her into a new onesie. Once she was dressed and happy, I disposed of the nuclear waste of a diaper and took her back downstairs. It wasn’t quite time for a bottle, so I placed her back in the swing and set it to gently rock. Emilia went back to kicking her feet.

“Maybe you’re going to be a soccer player with those fast feet,” I mused as I placed kisses on the bottom of her bare feet. She squealed again, making me smile.

My phone pinged with an incoming text. I stood and fished it from my pocket.

Sheperd: Call him, set up a date, don’t complicate it.

Me: Okay, Dad. I will.

Shepherd: Fucker.

Shepherd: I expect an update.

Me: Of course you do.

He was right. I needed to get my shit together in more than one way. But I sat staring at my phone, trying to think of what to type.

My phone vibrated in my hand as a text message popped up.

Rhys: Would you mind if I stopped by… later?

Rhys: I could grab groceries. Maybe we could all have dinner and watch a movie.

He was a mind reader, too. I didn’t think about it; I replied.

Me: You asking me to Nexflix and chill, Rhys?

I could imagine his face going ten levels of hell red, and it made me smile. And I wondered if he flushed all over like that.

Rhys: Well, I wasn’t suggesting THAT, but okay. I’ll take one for the team.

I laughed, and Emilia squealed.

Me: Emilia says be here at 5.

I waited, staring at the screen. Thankfully, I didn’t have to stay long.

Rhys: See you then

Me: Can’t wait.

Rhys: Me either.

I looked at Emilia, who was kicking her feet almost double-time. She was going to be a fast runner when she could walk.

“No cock-blocking this time, okay?”

I grabbed her foot and kissed the bottom. She squealed in baby happiness, and I took that as a good sign.

After receivingthe text from Rhys, I found it hard to concentrate. I quickly tidied up the house, wanting everything to be just when he came over. I hauled Emilia and the swing up to my bathroom so I could shower. I was buying one for every room tomorrow.

I showered, but left my day”s worth of stubble on my face. I’d been told it was sexy, and I liked the way it felt on my balls the last time a guy had blown me. Dressed in jeans that hugged my ass and thighs but were loose enough to work with, I pulled on a henley that brought out my eye color. With a spritz of cologne under my shirt, I was ready for my date.

“let’s get you cleaned up and smelling pretty,” I said to Emilia.

Her gassy fart let me know she agreed with my idea.

At five o’clock on the dot, there was a gentle knock on the door. My smile took over my face, and even though I knew who it was, I was still surprised a little when Rhys stood there with his arms full of groceries.

“Let me take those,” I said, reaching for them.

His eyes sparkled, and I couldn’t help myself. As I reached for the bags, I leaned in and kissed his cheek. I felt his face break into a smile as I pulled away, and I knew I’d find a soft red flush there.

“Well, thank you,” he murmured. “I might have gone overboard with the shopping. I didn’t think to ask if you had any food allergies or preferences, so I bought a variety of things.”

I couldn”t help but smile at the thoughtful gesture. “This doesn’t look like you bought out the store,” I teased.

Rhys pointed outside with his thumb over his shoulder. “There’s more in the car if you don’t mind helping.”

I grinned at him and nodded. “I’ll put these in the kitchen, then I’ll grab them.”

He nodded and looked around. “Where’s my girlfriend?”

Stripping out of his coat, he looked at me expectantly. “In her swing in the kitchen. You go see her, and I’ll grab the other bags.”

His eyes lit up as he made a beeline for the kitchen while I retrieved the bags from the car.

Once I’d returned with the rest of the groceries, Rhys stood from where he’d been sitting in front of Emilia and began emptying everything. He’d even bought PBA-Free containers for the cereals, pasta and stuff.

“You can never be too careful with chemicals in plastic. I would have purchased glass ones, but they were out. I can order you some online. Amazon has a million.”

It was cute how nervous he seemed. I didn’t know why, because I was enamored with him as much as he seemed to be with me.

“Can I help?” I asked, walking up stand inches from him. I could feel an intense heat radiating from him, and I wanted to feel it against my bare skin.

“Sure. Thank you.”

As we stood side by side at the sink, washing containers in comfortable silence, I stole glances at Rhys, admiring the way his brow furrowed in concentration, a lock of dark hair falling across his forehead. There was a vulnerability to him now, a softness that seemed to melt away the barriers between us. I itched to reach out and brush the lock out of his eyes, but I doubted he’d appreciate a soapy, wet hand in his face.

After we finished, Rhys turned to me, his green eyes meeting mine with an intensity that made my heart race. “Thank you for inviting me over,” he said softly.

I smiled, feeling a rush of warmth at his words. “Anytime,” I replied, sucking on my bottom lip.

Rhys hesitated, but watched my lip disappear, only to return a moment later. His chest rose and fell with deep labored breaths. The surrounding air sizzled with desire, want, and need. The smell of him made me crazy, and I really had to fight the urge to take him right here on the kitchen floor.

He swallowed audibly and fixed his eyes on mine. “I know this might look like a lot, but…” his shoulder lifted and dropped, “but your fridge was empty and you’re probably busy trying to settle in, and I didn’t want you to think you were alone here and you that don’t have anyone. Because you do. You have me.” He said all of that in a rush, barely drawing in a breath.

I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. His words hit me right in the chest, meaning more than it should have.

“I just…” he trailed off as his cheeks approached a new level of red, “I guess I wanted you to know that I care about you… both of you.” His gaze flickering to where Emilia happily enjoyed the swing, watching us.

His words hung in the air between us like a delicate promise, waiting to be acknowledged. I could see the sincerity in his eyes, a raw emotion that he seemed to struggle to contain. It was as if he were laying bare a part of himself that he had kept hidden for a long time, waiting for just the right time… and the right person to reveal it.

“I care about you too, Rhys,” I admitted, my voice barely above a whisper, filling the room with a sense of inevitability and longing.

Rhys took a step closer, closing the distance between us until I could feel the heat pulsing from his body. His hand reached out tentatively, hesitating for a moment before gently cupping my cheek. I leaned into his touch, sending a shiver down my spine, igniting a spark of desire that I had previously been too afraid to acknowledge.

Without another word, Rhys closed the gap between us, his lips meeting mine in a soft, tentative kiss. It was like a gentle awakening, a promise of something deeper.

As our lips met, a rush of emotions surged through me - desire, longing, and a sense of connection that I had never experienced before. Rhys”s kiss was tender yet filled with unspoken promises, each brush of his lips against mine igniting a dormant fire within me. In that moment, it felt as though time stood still; the world fading away until all that existed was the two of us, lost in this newfound intimacy.

When we finally pulled away, Rhys”s gaze bore into mine, his eyes darkened with a depth of emotion that mirrored my own. There was a silent understanding between us, a shared vulnerability that only brought us closer together. Without uttering a word, Rhys reached for my hand, his touch sending a jolt of electricity through me.

“Jaxson,” he whispered, his voice barely above a breath as he searched my eyes for any sign of hesitation or doubt.

“I know,” I said. “I feel it too.”

That seemed to be enough. He smiled, then kissed my cheek before taking a step back. A new spirit and confidence took hold of him.

“Help me put stuff away. Don’t just stand there,” he teased, waiting for my reaction.

“I kinda like this sassy side of you. Is this who you really are?”

I couldn’t stop watching Rhys as he took in my words, his tall frame moving with purpose as he filled my kitchen with an abundance of food.

His eyes flitted to mine as he bit his lip. “Maybe. Guess you’ll have to find out.”

I growled, but couldn”t help but feel a swirl of emotions within me. His green eyes flickered with a mixture of shyness and determination. The sight of him carefully placing Emilia”s formula on the shelf alongside the fresh fruits and vegetables sent a pang of warmth through my chest.

I pushed away from the sink and helped him put everything away. I was stunned at the sheer amount of groceries he had bought. Rhys filled the kitchen with rows of neatly arranged items - there were packets of cereal in the pantry, loaves of bread stacked on the countertop, and cuts of meat nestled in the freezer. But it wasn’t just the food that overwhelmed me; it was the thoughtfulness behind it all, the way Rhys had taken the time to consider not just what we need now, but what we may need in the days to come. As we worked side by side, our arms occasionally brushing against each other, I couldn”t shake the feeling of warmth that bloomed in my chest. It was more than just gratitude for his kindness; it was a deep sense of connection that seemed to grow stronger with each passing moment.

As we finished organizing the last of the groceries, a comfortable silence settled between us. Rhys turned to me, his gaze soft yet intense, as if searching for something.

“I need to pay you for this,” I finally said, breaking the quiet that surrounded us. “This… wow… it really means a lot.”

He shook his head. “No. This was me taking care of you. I didn’t do it for you to repay me. I did it because I wanted to.”

I’d thought I would be alone here. I hadn’t expected him. “Then you need to be here to help me eat all this.”

A gentle smile tugged at the corners of Rhys’ lips, his expression warm and genuine. “I can do that. I want to be here for you, Jaxson. For both you and Emilia,” he confessed, his voice a whisper.

His words resonated deep within me, touching parts of my heart that I had locked away since losing Lee and Jay. I could feel the weight of his sincerity, the depth of his emotions that mirrored my own desires for everything I’d lost, but also something I didn’t even know I’d been searching for.

A stable and loving home… a family of my own.

In that moment, I realized that Rhys wasn”t just offering groceries; he was offering support, care, and a future filled with all of those things. And more.

“I—” before I could even figure out what I planned to say, Emilia’s shriek had both of us looking towards the swing.

Rhys and I exchanged a quick glance before heading towards her.

“Are you hungry with all this talk of food, girlfriend?” Rhys suggested softly, his hand moving to brush a gentle finger against Emilia”s cheek. His tenderness towards her touched something deep within me, stirring emotions I didn’t even know I had. “How about I get you a bottle ready?”

I put my hand on his shoulder. “I’ll get the bottle, you take care of her.”.

Rhys beamed at me and nodded. As I prepared the bottle with a more practiced ease, he picked her up out of the swing and settled Emilia onto his lap. I handed him the bottle, our fingers touching again.

The sparks between us were blazed into my skin. And when he looked at me as he held her carefully in his arms, an unsettled part of me thought I might have found the missing piece of me.

Once she was fed, Rhys handed her to me so he could start on dinner. I stood in the kitchen, my girl in my arms, her pulling at the back of my hair, as I watched him move around my kitchen. I watched him wordlessly with a sense of wonder and gratitude, overwhelmed by the unexpected turn my life had taken.

“I feel like she’s more relaxed because you’re here,” I confessed. “It’s never been this easy.”

Rhys moved closer, his gaze soft as he looked at the two of us with an expression that held a mix of tenderness and longing. “She”s relaxed, because you’re relaxed, Jaxson.”

He ran his hand over her head, causing her to turn toward him. He leaned forward and her hand found his hair.

“She’s got quite a grip,” he laughed, working to free himself from her grasp.

“Soccer is in her future,” I added. “She’s going to be so damn fast on her feet.”

“I would agree,” he replied softly, glancing down at Emilia”s serene face. Rhys”s words reminded me of what I had known all along - my niece was a precious gift, a beacon of light in the darkness that had shrouded my life. Even when things were difficult, I would never stop being grateful she was here.

As our eyes met in the light of the kitchen, I saw a reflection of my own longing mirrored in Rhys”s gaze. There was a silent understanding between us, a shared desire for something more.

“I believed you promised me dinner,” I said, my voice sounding huskier even to my ears.

“That I did. Want to help?”

“Always,” I whispered, my words heavy with meaning.

I put Emilia back in her swing and gave her the pacifier. I knew she’d be out before long.

The atmosphere was comfortable, yet tinged with an unspoken tension lingering from the events of the previous night and the pull that was between us. As we chopped vegetables, conversation flowed between us. Rhys took a deep breath before speaking up, his voice tinged with sincerity.

“Jaxson, I need to apologize for last night. I… I maybe panicked a little,” he sighed, “I don’t want—” he shook his head, “I was worried things were moving too fast between us.”

I paused, glancing over at him, noting the furrow in his brow and the hint of concern in his eyes. “Rhys, we”re both adults,” I replied gently, hoping to reassure him. “We have no check sheet or timetable to adhere to. If it’s okay with you, I’d like to take things at whatever pace feels right for us.However long it takes for us to get there is irrelevant. I’m not going anywhere.”

Rhys nodded, though the worry didn”t quite fade from his expression. “Yeah, that sounds good, ” he murmured, his voice quiet. “It”s just… I don”t want to mess this up, you know?”

I reached out to place a reassuring hand on his lower back, offering him a supportive smile. “Hey, we”re in this together,” I reassured him. “We”ll figure it out, one step at a time.”

He nodded, but just like the night before, it felt like there was something he wanted to add, but didn’t.

I leaned down and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “Relax, baby. It’s all going to be okay.”

He nodded as we continued to cook together. What was left of the tension eased, replaced by a sense of companionship and understanding. Rhys and I had a lot in common, and he was just fun to be around.

Yet, beneath the surface, I couldn”t shake the nagging feeling that there was more to Rhys” worries than he was letting on.

I would be there for him, whatever challenges lay ahead, and to help him navigate whatever was weighing on his mind.

I was here.

He had me.

He just didn’t know it yet.