Chapter 18

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SKYLAR

SKYLAR CLUNG to Charlie, walking just behind the boy since all three of them couldn't quite fit abreast on the sidewalk. It gave him a perfect view of Charlie and Ward holding hands.

He muttered a curse under his breath as a bittersweet pang hit him square in the chest. This was exactly what he wanted. What he needed. It would be easier to walk away if he knew Charlie was settled with someone else. Hell, even if it was nothing more than the possibility of someone else, he'd take it.

But he knew it was going to hurt.

Skylar took a deep breath and tried to focus on the moment. He'd never get to experience a night like this again. Not with Charlie, at any rate. They came to a stop at the next house, and Skylar glanced at Charlie's face, seeing wonder and joy there. Skylar turned away, sniffing and blinking rapidly. He couldn't cry. Not now. There would be no way for him to explain what was wrong.

They moved on to the next house. As soon as they all came to a stop, Charlie gave a tiny grunt of annoyance.

Skylar blinked, then jumped back. “Sorry, Charlie. Here.”

Charlie shifted his stance, and the frustration vanished from his face as he looked up at the light display in front of them.

Ward turned, studying them both in silence for a moment. “Everything okay?”

“Oh, yeah,” Skylar rushed to assure him, forcing on a smile. When Ward didn't look immediately convinced, Skylar added, “Charlie can't stand on differing surfaces.” He pointed at the ground. Between the sidewalk and the street, there were narrow greenbelt sections where trees grew, but on that block, the greenbelt was all bricked over. Charlie had likely felt the difference between the bricks and the concrete without even looking, but now he stood firmly on the latter.

Ward frowned, looking confused.

Shit . Did that bother the man? Skylar scrambled to explain, “It's a sensory thing. It's like being bombarded with too much information at once.”

“Oh.” Ward gave a simple nod and looked down at Charlie. His expression turned fond, a soft smile playing on his lips.

Damn it . Skylar's chest felt tight with both envy and relief.

“ Oooh , look at that!” someone exclaimed.

Charlie tried to whirl around to see what they were talking about, so Skylar and Ward followed suit, keeping hold of Charlie's hands as they all turned to gaze across the street.

“I love that one,” Ward said, nodding at the display on the house across from them. Instead of lights, the trees in front of the house had oversized ornaments hanging suspended from what looked like fishing line. The lines were almost invisible in the dark, so the ornaments appeared to be floating in midair. When the slight breeze made the ornaments sway and rotate, they caught the nearby glow of streetlamps and Christmas lights alike, reflecting it all back in twinkling flashes. “They do that every year,” Ward went on.

Charlie gave a long, drawn-out squeak .

Ward smiled. “You like that one?”

Charlie bounced in place and nodded.

Ward's smile grew into a grin.

Fuck . Skylar had to turn away again, blinking hard.

They all continued down the street, stopping to admire more of the displays. There were Christmas lights everywhere, not to mention various lawn displays. One wrought iron fence bore artfully draped garland interspersed with wreaths, while another dripped with fake icicles. One lawn was packed with holiday-themed inflatables: Santa, snowmen, reindeer, and more. Then there was the light blue house bearing a sign that read The Home of Ebeneezer Scrooge . No sign of Scrooge himself, though. Skylar wished he could have seen that.

A tiny voice in the back of his mind whispered, Maybe next year . Except he knew that was impossible. Skylar would be long gone by then. He shook his head, banishing the voice before he could hope.

Another house played Christmas music through some speakers placed out on the porch. Charlie raced towards it, tugging Skylar and Ward along with him. They all came to a stop, and Charlie closed his eyes. He bounced in place and let out an erratic series of noises, completely off-beat with the song though he was clearly trying to match the tune.

Skylar couldn't stop staring at him, knowing how much he was going to miss things like this.

A couple walked past them, eyeing Charlie with thinly veiled disgust on their faces. Thank goodness, Charlie still had his eyes closed and couldn't see it.

“Freak,” one of the pair muttered before they got out of earshot.

Skylar tensed just as Charlie's squeaks instantly died. Oh no you didn't .

Before Skylar could do anything, he saw Ward move. The big man squared his shoulders and straightened to his full height. He opened his mouth, then paused just barely before yanking his hand free of Charlie's grasp and using both hands to cover Charlie's ears instead.

“Hey,” he barked at the passing couple. “Mind your own business.”

The pair scurried over to their car and took off down the street.

Skylar stared at Ward as a swell of emotion crashed through him. Bloody god-damned effing hells. In that moment, he felt himself fall a little bit in love with Ward.

Criminy . Who was he kidding? He'd been falling little by little from the first moment he'd laid eyes on the man, and it had only gotten worse with every moment they'd spent together. But seeing the way Ward leaped to Charlie's defense?

Yep, I'm totally screwed.

Charlie whimpered.

Skylar gasped, yanked out of his thoughts. He held tight to Charlie's hand and turned to look at him. “Charlie? You okay?”

Charlie slowly opened his eyes and glanced in Ward's direction. Mad? he signed.

“What's that?” Ward asked.

“He wants to know if you're mad at him,” Skylar explained.

“No,” Ward gasped. He crouched down, putting himself and Charlie at eye level. “Hey, buddy. I'm not mad at you. You did nothing wrong, okay? I was mad at them,” he went on, gesturing in the direction the couple had gone. “They had no call to be mean like that.” He gave Charlie a smile. “You go ahead and express your happiness however you want, okay?”

Skylar bit back a whimper. Holy fiddlesticks. Is this man for real right now?

Charlie considered that for a moment, his gaze wandering aimlessly as his head rolled. Finally, he gave a tiny nod and held out his hand. Ward was just about to take it when Charlie snatched his hand back and quickly signed, Potty .

Skylar gave a start, his focus yanked back to Charlie. “Oh. Shit. He needs a bathroom,” he explained before Ward could ask.

“Everything okay over here?” Mr. Pratt asked, the rest of the party coming back to join them.

“Charlie needs a bathroom,” Skylar repeated.

“Okay,” Mr. Pratt said. “How about we start back?”

Charlie scowled. Now , he signed.

“Hey, Charlie,” Ward murmured. “My place is just a couple blocks from where we parked. Would that help?”

Charlie barely hesitated before he nodded.

They all headed back down the street. When they reached the vehicles, the rest of the party decided to return to the house, so Ward promised to catch up once Charlie was settled. While the van took off down Vine Street, Ward made a turn and drove a couple blocks before pulling into a small apartment complex.

Skylar's heart started to race out of control. He was going to get to be inside Ward's space. Inside his home. Oh jeebus . It was a tiny piece of the man he never thought he'd get to experience. He practically held his breath as Ward unlocked the security door, then the main door, and ushered them inside.

Charlie stopped in the doorway, rolling his head as he eyed the space. It was tidy but sparsely furnished, though nowhere as austere as Skylar's own apartment. Still, this was where Ward lived. Skylar pictured the man settled into that couch, watching TV. Or maybe standing over there in the kitchen, frying up eggs and bacon for breakfast. Across from them, two doorways stood open. One gave a glimpse into the bathroom, while the other offered only the tiniest peek into what must be the bedroom.

Skylar swallowed hard.

“Bathroom's right over there,” Ward said, pointing.

Charlie took off his shoes, lined them up against the wall just inside the front door, and made a beeline for the bathroom.

“He doesn't like shoes inside,” Skylar blurted out as Ward pushed the door shut behind them. “And especially in the bathroom. Shoes do not go on bathroom rugs. Ever. Shoes are dirty from being outside, and bathroom rugs are supposed to be clean.” And I'm rambling again. Damn it.

Ward grimaced. “I actually don't have any bathroom rugs. I usually just throw a towel down on the floor.”

“Shit,” Skylar muttered, glancing at the closed bathroom door. “Charlie won't like that. Bathrooms have to have rugs, and they have to coordinate with the towels and everything else. This one time,” he went on despite himself, “Charlie had just pulled his bathroom rugs out of the dryer and put them down on the floor, and then his dad came in from doing some yard work and forgot to take off his shoes before he went to use the hall bathroom. Charlie picked the rugs right back up and washed them all over again.” Skylar winced. “Sorry. He's got a lot of rules and quirks–”

“Sky,” Ward gently interrupted him. He reached out and grabbed Skylar by the shoulders, his big hands squeezing gently. “It's okay.”

Skylar fidgeted. He started to hug himself, then shoved his hands into his pockets instead, only to yank them right back out. “Oh fuck.” He threw himself at Ward, trying to climb the man to get to Ward's mouth.

Ward grabbed him and spun them around, pressing Skylar back against the wall. The man claimed his mouth while those big hands roamed all over Skylar's body.

Skylar gasped for breath. “Oh my god. Ward!”

Inside the bathroom, the toilet flushed. Skylar froze, knowing he needed to push Ward away before Charlie came out and saw them, but he didn't want to let go. He kissed Ward again, the two of them getting lost in one another.

Damn it . He was supposed to be trying to get Ward and Charlie together, not giving into temptation for his own sake. But how could he resist this man? He wanted Ward more than almost anything in the world.

Skylar had no idea how much time had passed when Ward slowed his kisses and gently pulled back, breathing hard.

Ward glanced at the bathroom. “Is he okay in there?”

Skylar blinked. “Huh?” He followed Ward's gaze, then blinked again and shook his head, trying to focus. “Oh. Shit.” He breathed a laugh, then gave Ward a wry smile. “He's probably reorganizing your bathroom. Sorry. Sometimes, he does things like that because he can't help himself. I'll stop him.” Skylar started to pull away, but Ward grabbed his hand, yanking him back.

“Let him,” Ward murmured.

“Ward–”

“Sky, I can handle it.”

Skylar bit back a whimper, then threw himself at Ward again.

Oh fuck . He was in so much trouble. Skylar felt his knees start to give out as Ward consumed him, the man's mouth gentle but demanding, those big hands like fire, burning right through his clothes.

Skylar never wanted it to end.

The bathroom door opened. Skylar and Ward jumped back from one another, breathing hard.

Charlie took a few steps out of the bathroom, then stopped, eyeing the two of them. A look of confusion came over his face. He stood there in silence for a long moment, then scowled and signed, No Christmas?

Skylar almost heaved a sigh of relief. Maybe Charlie didn't recognize what had been going on without seeing it happen directly. But Charlie had also been in the bathroom for a long time. Maybe something about it had distracted him, so he would have been focused on that instead of them when he came out. Was the bathroom dirty? Or not organized the way he needed it? Skylar didn't want anything about Ward to be a turn-off for the boy. Not if there was going to be any chance of getting Charlie to like the man.

But all Charlie seemed to be concerned about was the lack of decorations.

“He wants to know if you don't like Christmas,” Skylar said. “I think he's confused after you wanting to go see all the houses.”

“Oh!” Ward looked around with a grimace. “No, I love Christmas. I have a few boxes of decorations in the closet,” he said, gesturing towards the bedroom. “I just didn't get them up this year.”

Charlie's scowl turned into a pout. Sad , he signed.

“Hey, Charlie?” Ward asked after Skylar translated the sign. “What if I get them out now? Would you like to help me decorate?”

Charlie's eyebrows went up. He let out a little chirp , his head rolling as he thought. After a moment, he pulled out his phone, then pouted again, his shoulders slumping. He glanced around once more, a look of longing on his face, then went to grab his shoes, signing, House now.

“What was that?” Ward asked.

“He wants to go back,” Skylar said, checking his own phone to see what time it was. “Shit. He goes to bed by eight, and he still needs to shower.”

“Okay,” Ward said. “We'll get you home,” he assured them, reaching for the front door.

“Thank you for this,” Skylar said, gesturing at the bathroom.

The big man smiled at him. “Anytime.”

Skylar turned away to check on Charlie, then glanced back into the apartment as they stepped outside. He wanted one last look at Ward's home.

Even though he knew it was going to torment him with a new fantasy.