Chapter 19

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WARD

WARD SNUCK glances at the two boys as he drove them back out to Living in Zin.

They were both in the back seat this time. Charlie had insisted that he needed to talk to Skylar about something right away, though he didn't want to put off getting home and upset his routine. So the boys had climbed in the back and began signing rapidly the moment they had their seatbelts on.

Ward tried to read their faces in the dark, but there wasn't much to see there. Skylar looked concerned—maybe even almost guilty—but then he was nodding and giving Charlie gentle smiles. As for Charlie, the boy's expression was neutral. It was that vacant look that Ward had seen on the boy more than any other outward display of feeling. Ward was learning quickly just how unintentionally deceptive that look was. Charlie wasn't even close to mentally absent. If anything, the boy was more present than anyone else Ward had ever met.

He only wished he could understand what they were saying.

Not that it was any of his business. Skylar and Charlie were a couple, after all. Ward had no place in their private conversation. Still, he couldn't help being curious. And a little envious. There he was, stuck on the outside, watching something he couldn't be part of.

Ward winced, thinking of the moment he'd caught his would-be bride in the arms of another man. He'd become the outsider. Rejected. The one who didn't belong.

Behind him, the flurry of signs stopped, and the two boys leaned against one another, holding hands, Charlie's head resting on Skylar's shoulder. Ward couldn't help smiling at the sight even as a bittersweet pang hit him in the chest. He wanted to be part of that. Part of them.

But as soon as he dropped them off, there was every chance he might never see either of them again.

He supposed he could call the escort service and make another appointment to see Skylar. But what about Charlie? And the two boys together? Did he dare even ask to arrange something?

Ward inwardly scoffed at himself. What would be the point? The boys lived far away and they were a couple. He wasn't part of that.

Up ahead, Ward spotted the sign for Living in Zin. Damn . The drive had gone by too quickly. He turned up the driveway, pulled into a parking spot, and shut off the truck.

For a moment, a heavy silence fell over them.

Before Ward could say anything, Charlie threw off his seatbelt and opened the door. In the rearview mirror, Ward caught Skylar looking at him before the boy smiled shyly and followed Charlie out.

Ward let out a heavy sigh, then got out to join them.

“Thanks for the ride,” Skylar said. “Shit. I just realized you have to go all the way back into town, don't you? I'm sorry–”

“Sky,” Ward interrupted him. “It's okay.” It was worth it , he thought, but he kept that to himself.

Skylar slowly nodded, fidgeting where he stood, shifting from one foot to the other. He glanced at Charlie, then turned back to Ward, a look of such heavy longing on his face, it was all Ward could do to stay where he was.

Beside Skylar, Charlie rocked on his feet, his gaze roaming about the nearly empty parking lot.

“Well,” Skylar said. “Um. I guess this is it.”

“Yeah,” Ward replied.

Skylar slowly nodded, then put on a smile that was clearly forced. “Come on, Charlie. Let's get you showered so you can get to bed.”

Charlie gave a little chirp of what sounded like assent, then hesitated, not moving from where he stood. After a moment, he signed something.

Skylar's eyebrows went up, and he looked at Ward. “He says he needs to talk to you.” Skylar paused. “Alone.”

Ward blinked. “Oh.” He glanced at Charlie, trying to read the boy's face. Ward had no clue how they were going to communicate when he didn't know any signs, but that was nothing compared to what he assumed Charlie would have to say. Stay away from my Sky , most likely.

Charlie pulled out his phone. “ Hhnn .”

“You'll have to give him your number so he can text you,” Skylar explained.

Ward immediately snatched his own phone out of his pocket. Geez . It was such a simple thing, but his heart started racing nonetheless. He'd have Charlie's number. They could keep in touch.

Assuming this conversation didn't go the way he thought it might.

But what about Skylar?

“You sure you don't want me to stay?” Skylar asked Charlie while sneaking glances at Ward.

Charlie shook his head. “ Hhnn .” He pointed at the house.

“Okay,” Skylar agreed, though the boy hesitated before he took a step back. He looked at Ward again, his gaze full of restrained longing.

Or was Ward just imagining that? Seeing what he wanted to see?

Skylar flashed Charlie a smile and turned away.

Charlie rolled his head to one side, watching Skylar out of the corner of his eye. Once Skylar was inside, Charlie turned back to Ward. He held up his phone with both hands. “ Hhnn ?”

“Right, sorry,” Ward said. “It's eight-zero-five,” he began, giving Charlie his number, watching the boy carefully type it into his phone.

Charlie's thumbs rapidly tapped away at the screen. A moment later, Ward's phone beeped in his hand. Charlie winced. “ Hhnn .” He scowled and pointed at his ear.

“Okay, buddy,” Ward murmured. “I'm sorry.” He pressed a button on the side of his phone, adjusting the volume down until it switched to vibrate. Then he clicked on the notification for a new text message.

Before he even read it, Ward clicked on the menu button and selected Add to Contacts . He quickly created a contacts card for Charlie, saving the number to his phone, then went back to Charlie's message.

Charlie : Hello, Ward. This is Charlie Pratt.

Ward bit back a smile. The boy was simply too adorable. Then he hesitated. Should he text back? Or was he allowed to talk? Knowing Charlie's sensory issues, he decided to err on the side of caution.

Me : Hello, Charlie.

Charlie rocked where he stood, then typed and sent another message.

Charlie : Are you going to have sex with my Sky again?

Ward stared at the words, nearly knocked off his feet by the bluntness of them. Shit . How could he even respond to that? He looked at Charlie, trying to gauge what the boy was thinking or feeling, but Charlie's blank expression was damned difficult to read.

“I don't know,” Ward blurted out, then paused with a wince, wondering if he should have texted the response instead. When Charlie didn't immediately complain, Ward went on. He figured Charlie deserved the truth, after all. “I want to,” he admitted, “but…he's there and I'm here. It's complicated.”

Charlie : But you went to San Francisco to see him.

“Yeah, I did.”

Charlie was silent for a moment, head rolling and gaze wandering while he rocked on his feet. Finally, he turned back to his phone and typed again.

Charlie : Did my Sky make your penis feel good?

Ward felt his face go bright red. He had to swallow hard before he could answer. “Yeah. He did.”

Charlie nodded as though he'd expected that answer. He quickly typed another message.

Charlie : Did you make my Sky feel good?

Ward studied Charlie's face before he replied, “Yeah. At least, I think so.”

Charlie gave a single, tiny chirp , then bent over his phone again.

Charlie : I saw you both kissing again. When I came out of the bathroom at your apartment. My Sky is never like that with me.

Ward's heart clenched at the words, then again when he saw the subtle hint of sadness on the boy's face. “Like what?” he asked.

Charlie : My Sky lets me have sex with him, but it's never hungry and loud like he looked with you.

Ward frowned. They hadn't been loud. But then he remembered Skylar saying something about 'loud feelings' for Charlie. That had to be what the boy meant. Passion. Desire. Need.

Before Ward could reply, Charlie sent him another message.

Charlie : Are you going to take my Sky away from me?

“No!” Ward gasped. He crouched down, putting them at eye level even though Charlie kept his gaze fixed on his phone. “Charlie? No. I'd never do that,” he swore. “I want him, yes,” he admitted. And I want you, too . “But he's yours. I didn't know that until after I was with him. If I'd known, I never would have let that happen, I swear.”

Charlie fell silent and still, making Ward's heart race, wondering what the boy was thinking. The moment stretched, seemingly endless. Ward waited. If Charlie told him to stay away, then he'd do so. It was only right. Ward had no place with them. Either of them. When Charlie started typing again, Ward braced himself.

Charlie : You can have sex with my Sky again, but only if you promise to follow the rules.

Ward stared at the words, feeling completely stunned. He could see Skylar again? And with Charlie's permission? His heart raced and his skin tingled all over in anticipation. “What rules?” he asked.

Charlie : You have to pay him. He needs the money. My Sky still has icky parts inside his body, and he needs to pay a doctor to make them go away.

Ward's eyebrows went up. Interesting . Was that why Skylar did what he did? To make money for surgery? Ward filed that thought away for later and gave Charlie a nod. “Okay.”

Charlie : You have to make my Sky feel good.

“Agreed.” Ward wouldn't want it any other way, regardless.

Charlie : You have to have his permission!!! Just because you're paying him doesn't mean he doesn't get to say NO. You have to promise .

“Charlie,” Ward gasped. He crouched down again and tried to look the boy in the eyes. “I promise. Never without his permission. Never. I swear.”

The boy looked right at him. The eye-contact was fleeting, lasting barely a moment before Charlie's gaze wandered away again, but it happened.

Ward felt that intense, fleeting look all the way down to his soul. A split second in which he'd been studied, weighed, and measured, then apparently deemed acceptable.

Charlie : And one more rule.

“Okay,” Ward agreed, then watched as Charlie hesitated before the boy typed another message.

Charlie : May I still sit in your lap when the world gets too loud?

Ward's heart clenched, and he blinked rapidly against a sudden swell of emotion and bone-deep need. “Always,” he immediately replied, his voice thick and husky. “I would love that.”

Charlie smiled then. He even let out a quiet, drawn-out squeak that sounded like pure joy.

Charlie : I have to go shower and get ready for bed now. Thank you. Goodnight .

“Goodnight,” Ward said to Charlie's retreating back, since the boy had already turned away and headed towards the house.

Charlie stopped halfway. Ward waited, watching him. Was Charlie going to change his mind about everything they'd just discussed? Charlie turned around and pulled out his phone again. A moment later, Ward's phone vibrated in his hand.

Charlie : Hello, Ward. This is Charlie Pratt again.

Ward had to press his lips together to hold back a smile. “Hi, Charlie. Look.” He held out his phone and pointed at the screen. “I saved your number so I'll know it's you. See?”

Charlie eyed the screen. He squeezed his eyes shut and gave a long squeak as he bounced in place, then snapped his attention back to his own phone again.

Charlie : May I have a hug?

Oh hell . Ward couldn't hold back his smile this time. “Yes, of course, you may have a hug.”

Charlie grinned, shoved his phone into his pocket, and threw his arms around Ward's waist.

Ward sucked in a breath. The simple contact felt way too damned good, and Charlie's little body fit his just right. Ward slowly put his arms around the boy, holding him gently.

Charlie tightened his hold. “ Hhnn .”

Ward chuckled. “Okay.” He matched Charlie's pressure, pulling that precious, little body tighter against his own. Oh hell . It was so perfect. Ward never wanted to let go.

But Charlie eventually hit his limit and pulled away. Ward released him and watched as the boy pulled out his phone again.

Charlie : I really have to go now. Goodnight.

“Goodnight. Merry Christmas, Charlie.”

Charlie rolled his eyes.

Charlie : It's not Christmas yet. That's tomorrow.

Ward chuckled. “You're right. I'm sorry.” He paused. “Happy Christmas Eve, then.”

Charlie tipped his head to one side, then let out a tiny chirp , as though saying, I'll allow it . Then he turned and headed into the house.

Ward watched him go, waiting until the boy was inside before he turned away himself and got back into his truck. He couldn't stop smiling the whole way home. He'd be able to stay in touch with Charlie, and he had permission to see Skylar again. It was so much more than he'd hoped for.

Just as he stepped into his apartment, he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. Ward pulled it out and found a notification for a text from an unknown number. He clicked on it and read, Hey, Ward. It's Skylar. I hope you don't mind. I snuck your number out of Charlie's phone while he was in the shower. I just wanted to say thank you so much for talking to him, and I hope you have a happy Christmas.

Ward's heart started racing all over again. Now he had Skylar's number as well. He quickly saved it as a new contact, then found himself standing there, staring at the two names in his texting app.

When he finally tore his gaze away and went to set his phone aside, he was struck by the drabness of his apartment, thinking of the look of disappointment on Charlie's face.

Ward glanced at his phone, feeling another smile take over.

He strode over to the closet, found the boxes labeled Christmas decorations , and got to work.