Chapter 17

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WARD

WARD'S HEART raced as he stood there, staring at the boys.

Geez, they're so beautiful. Beautiful, fragile, and both clearly wary. Ward even felt that last one himself. He'd spent the past couple days trying to drown himself in work, determined to stay focused. He'd already let his personal issues distract him from his duties over the summer, but he'd promised John he wouldn't let that happen again. So Ward had forced all thoughts of the boys from his mind and tackled every single task he could put his hands on, both wanting to make John proud and needing to keep himself busy. He'd even stayed late each night, knowing that once he was home, alone, all he'd do was sit and dwell. Wonder and fruitlessly dream.

Everything that happened over the weekend had completely thrown him for a loop. Ward still hadn't fully processed it all. And after Charlie's angry outburst on Sunday night, Ward had no idea how things stood between them.

And did that even matter? Was there even a them ? Even the tiniest possibility of it? Ward shook his head. He was getting way ahead of himself, but hope was one hell of a strong force. The second he'd seen Dakota's name on caller ID half an hour ago, Ward had been on his feet, ready to run out the door.

Ward took a step forward and opened his mouth to say something, but got interrupted when someone else strode into the room.

“ Monsieur Freeman?” Beau asked. “To what do we owe this pleasure?”

Ward cleared his throat. “Hey. Um. Hi.” He rubbed the back of his neck, then waved his hand vaguely. “Dakota called…”

“Ah. He did not interrupt your plans for the evening, I hope?” Beau smirked. “Do I need to give him a spanking?”

“Oh! Yes, please,” Dakota exclaimed, bounding into their midst. “It's been ages . Actually, can we do that thing where you and Mav both spank me while I'm fucking Ry? Because that was hot .”

Ward felt his cheeks turn bright red.

“Behave,” Beau murmured, his eyes dark with arousal despite the warning tone in his voice.

Dakota gave Beau a teasing grin, then turned to Ward. “You made it! You are staying for dinner, right?”

Ward blinked. “Uh…”

“Charlie's already set a place for you, it looks like,” Dakota went on, “so you might as well. Come on.” The boy twirled around and headed for the tasting room.

Beau chuckled and rolled his eyes. “Oh, my sweet brat. But you are very welcome to join us, if you would like.”

Ward glanced at Skylar and Charlie. Both boys stood there silently, watching him, clearly waiting for his answer.

How could he possibly say no to having more time with them?

“Thanks,” Ward told Beau. “That's very kind of you.” Ward took a step forward, but Charlie strode up and stopped him. The boy tugged on Ward's jacket, then pointed at the coat rack in the corner of the foyer. Ward took off his jacket and hung it up. He looked to Charlie, who eyed the jacket before giving a little chirp and a nod.

Then Charlie took Ward by the hand and pulled.

Ward's heart clenched, and his breath caught in his throat at the simple, innocent contact. It was almost as good as holding the boy in his arms.

Charlie grabbed Skylar with his other hand, and they all headed for the tasting room.

A flurry of activity ensued as people emerged from the kitchen, laying out dishes on the tasting room counter. Ward got bombarded with greetings and handshakes, then had to explain again why he was there. Everyone seemed to take it in stride. Like it wasn't out of the ordinary for Ward to be there amongst them all, taking part in what was clearly a family dinner.

Charlie began silently directing everyone where to sit, and nobody batted an eye. People moved about, filling their plates at the counter and then taking their seats. But Charlie came up short when he got to the end of the table, with just himself, Skylar, and Ward remaining. He reached out and touched a framed photograph, rocking on his feet as he eyed the last three chairs.

Finally, he gestured for Skylar to sit at the place beside the picture frame, then directed Ward to the chair across from him. Charlie himself took the seat next to Ward, directly across from the picture.

Ward picked up his assigned plate and followed Charlie to the counter, wondering what the boy was thinking. Did Charlie not want him sitting next to Skylar, where the two of them could touch? Or did Charlie simply want to be able to see Skylar from where he sat?

Or did Charlie want to sit beside Ward?

Charlie stood at the counter, rocking on his feet as he eyed the food. Skylar came up beside him and started telling Charlie about the dishes. “Roasted vegetables, all fresh,” Skylar said, pointing at the first one. “No corn, I promise. That salad dressing has corn syrup in it, though, so avoid that. That one came out of a box,” he said, pointing at another dish, “but this one is all from scratch.” Skylar paused and glanced at Ward. “He's a very picky eater.”

Ward nodded in silence, watching as Charlie carefully added meats and vegetables to his plate, sticking to the dishes that Skylar suggested. “Doesn't seem very picky to me.”

Skylar chuckled. “He's kind of a health nut,” he explained. “He won't eat anything processed. Or, well, I know pretty much everything's processed these days, but if it comes out of a box or a bag or a can—especially if it has any ingredients he doesn't recognize—he won't touch it.”

“Ah.” Ward eyed the dishes again. “But no corn?”

Skylar shook his head. “Corn contains a natural depressant, and Charlie is super sensitive to it. And corn is in everything these days, it seems. Don't even get me started on the high fructose corn syrup.”

Charlie scowled and gave a nod.

“Corn is a depressant?” Ward asked with a frown.

“It's true,” Ryder piped up, standing near them as he filled his plate. “I was doing research for a book. I needed a disease that was diet-based, and I stumbled on pellagra. It can be caused by a corn-heavy diet, particularly in third-world countries. If not treated, it can lead to major depression, as well as rage issues and even dementia, not to mention the physical symptoms like hair loss or dermatitis. Trouble sleeping, weakness, mental confusion…” Ryder trailed off for a moment while he fussed with something on his plate. “Here in the States, everything is so processed and modified that it's not even real food anymore, besides—like Skylar said—corn being in everything. Plus fast food and chips and sodas and other crap. I honestly believe that half of our health problems would simply vanish if people would just eat properly.” With that, he took his plate and walked away.

Charlie pointed at him. “ Hhnn .”

“What he said,” Skylar translated.

“Okay,” Ward said with a nod. “Got it. No corn.” He made a mental note to remember that.

Once Charlie stepped away, Skylar filled his own plate, picking all the same items that Charlie had. When it was Ward's turn, he found himself doing the same.

Ward sat down, and Charlie eyed his plate. The boy's eyebrows lifted in surprise. Charlie bounced in his seat and gave a long, drawn-out squeak . Somehow, Ward knew it was a sound of approval. He couldn't help smiling.

Charlie reached across the table to touch the picture frame, then began to eat.

“That's Sabrina,” Dakota said. He was looking right at Ward so he must have seen the question on his face. “My twin sister.”

“Ah.” Ward glanced from Dakota to the picture and back. “She couldn't make it?”

Dakota swallowed hard. “She died. Several years ago.”

Ward winced. “I'm so sorry.”

Dakota waved a hand and put on a fleeting smile. “We haven't done this in years,” he said, gesturing at the picture. “But Charlie wanted it tonight, so…”

Charlie gave a quiet, little chirp , then dug back into his food.

Mr. Pratt spoke up in the silence that followed, changing the conversation. “I hope these boys didn't pull you away from any plans you had tonight.”

Ward swallowed the bite of food in his mouth and shook his head. “No, not really. I'd thought about taking a drive down Vine Street. I missed the Showcase this year, but I wanted to see the lights while they were still up.”

“Showcase?” Skylar asked.

“It's a local event,” Ward explained. “Vine Street has all these old, Victorian houses, and part of the conditions for owning one is that you have to decorate for Christmas. Some of these places really go all out. But the Vine Street Victorian Showcase closes off the street to cars, so it's all foot traffic for one night. They have carolers and dancers, plus hot chocolate and spiced cider and all kinds of baked goods you can buy. There's even a guy who comes out on this one balcony and plays Ebeneezer Scrooge. He gets all dressed up in his nightcap and gown and yells at the crowd.”

Skylar laughed. “Oh my god, that's awesome. I wish I could have seen that.”

“We should go do that,” Beau said. “After dinner. What if we all drive into town and take a walk down Vine Street?”

Several voices responded in assent, and some began discussing how many vehicles they would need to carry everyone.

“Charlie?” Skylar asked, leaning across the table. “Do you want to go?”

Ward looked at the boy beside him. Charlie ran his fork through his small helping of mashed potatoes, making patterns and then erasing them. Finally, the boy nodded, signing something.

“Yeah, pretty lights,” Skylar said.

Charlie nodded again and went back to eating.

After dinner was done and the table was cleared, everyone grabbed hats, jackets, and gloves before heading outside. Dakota took over, directing the majority of their group into his parent's eight-passenger minivan.

Which left Skylar and Charlie to ride with Ward.

Dakota gave Ward a knowing smirk as he stepped into the van and pulled the door shut. Ward felt his cheeks flush as he unlocked his truck and held the passenger side door open, eyeing both Charlie and Skylar to see if they were comfortable with this arrangement.

Skylar nudged Charlie forward before opening the back passenger door and hopping inside. Charlie paused, eyeing the front passenger seat and floorboard. After a moment, he gave a little chirp and climbed in, immediately reaching for the seatbelt.

Ward waited until both boys were settled before he strode around to the driver's side. He got in and shut the door, feeling an intense pressure in the silence. It was just like the moment when he and Skylar had gotten into his truck on their way to Aaron's wedding, but magnified.

Just the three of them. Alone in the dark. Close enough to touch, yet so very off-limits. Ward felt a tremble run through his limbs. He had to pause to catch his breath before he slid the key into the ignition and cranked it over.

Ward followed the other vehicle as they headed into town. The drive was silent, the night swallowing up the landscape beyond the range of the truck's headlights. Ward glanced in the rearview mirror, checking on Skylar.

The boy was staring right at him with a look of longing on his face.

Ward's breath caught in his throat. He had to force his attention back onto the road even though all he wanted to do was stare right back.

Then there was Charlie. Ward turned his head, checking his mirrors, and snuck a glance at the boy in the process. Charlie seemed to be lost in his own little world, his head slowly rolling as his gaze swept their surroundings. What was he thinking? What did he see? Ward was tempted to ask, but he would need Skylar to translate Charlie's answers. From the back seat, Skylar wouldn't be able to see Charlie's hands, and Ward didn't know enough signs himself.

He blushed in the dark. The past couple nights, he'd found himself sitting with his laptop, researching sign language. The whole thing was terribly daunting, trying to learn a new language at his age, but he hadn't been able to resist. Even when he'd gotten overwhelmed, trying to keep various signs straight in his head, Ward kept at it, thinking about Charlie, wanting to understand the boy. The whole thing had felt ridiculous, considering there had been every chance he might not ever see Charlie again.

Yet here they were.

Charlie let out a long squeak and turned to press both hands to the passenger side window.

Skylar tsk ed. “Charlie. Hands. Sorry, Ward. I'll clean the window when we get back–”

“It's okay,” Ward assured him. He glanced at Charlie. “That one's pretty, huh?” he asked, following Charlie's gaze to a decorated house up on a hill.

The boy bounced in his seat.

Ward grinned. There was something so childlike and innocent about Charlie. So refreshing. Then Ward checked on Skylar again. That boy had a bittersweet smile on his face. Geez . Ward felt tingles run all down his arms.

They approached an oncoming car, and Charlie winced. “ Hhnn .”

“Charlie?” Ward asked, glancing from the road to Charlie and back. “You okay, buddy?”

In the rearview mirror, Ward saw Skylar give a start. “Shoot, sorry,” Skylar said. He scooted forward as much as the seatbelt would allow, then reached around the front seat, covering Charlie's eyes with his hands. “He doesn't like driving at night,” Skylar explained. “The contrast between the dark and the oncoming headlights is too much. He'll be fine once we're in town and there's more light, though.”

“You sure? We can go back–”

Charlie signed something.

“What was that?” Ward asked.

Skylar leaned forward, stretching to see around the seat. When Charlie repeated the signs, Skylar smiled. “Yeah, it's okay. We're still going to see the pretty lights.”

Charlie gave a squeak and bounced in place, but it was restrained, somehow, like he didn't want to dislodge Skylar's hands.

Ward found himself smiling. What must it be like to be so easily pleased like that? Even in the dark and with his eyes covered, Charlie's joy was clear on his face. And all because of going to see some Christmas lights. Ward had thought for sure that nobody found happiness in the simple things anymore.

When the country road gave way to the outskirts of town, Skylar lowered his hands and pointed instead. “Charlie, look!”

Charlie opened his eyes and turned to look at the nearby light displays. He bounced again, practically glued to the window as he gazed about. Even Skylar was smiling, though there was still something bittersweet about the look on his face. Ward was about to ask if Skylar was okay when the boy gasped and pointed, directing Charlie's attention to another house with lights on it.

They continued around the edge of town, then turned onto Vine Street, not far from Ward's apartment. Up ahead, the Pratts' minivan pulled over to the curb. Ward scanned for another empty space and parked his truck. He barely got the emergency brake set before Charlie was throwing off his seatbelt.

“Put on your hat and gloves, Charlie,” Skylar said.

Charlie scowled.

“Yep, come on,” Skylar said. He leaned forward and pointed at the temperature reading. “See? It's already ten degrees colder than it was at the house.”

Charlie's eyebrows went up, and he gave a little chirp before digging into his jacket pockets. He pulled out a knit hat and gloves, fussing with them for several seconds while he worked to get them situated just right. Finally, the boy reached for the door handle, and Skylar followed suit in the back seat.

Ward got out and walked around the truck, meeting the boys on the sidewalk. They caught up with the rest of their party, who were already ooh ing and aah ing over the light display on the nearest house.

Charlie surged past everyone and started up the walk to the house's front porch.

“Whoa there, squirmy worm,” Dakota said, rushing after his brother. He caught Charlie by the hand and hauled him back. “You gotta stick with us, okay?”

Charlie scowled and pointed. “ Hhnn .”

“What is it?” Dakota asked.

“That reindeer is crooked,” Skylar answered for him, gesturing at a set that were balanced on the porch railing. “He wants to fix it.”

Charlie nodded.

“Not on somebody else's house, okay?” Dakota said. He tugged Charlie back a few more steps, then spotted Ward. A smirk came over his face. “Here,” Dakota went on. “I want you to hold Ward's hand while we walk.”

Charlie rolled his head in Ward's direction, looking like he had to think about it. My Sky? he signed.

Ward knew that one.

“He's right here,” Dakota assured him. “You can hold his hand, too.”

Charlie considered that for a moment before he gave a chirp of assent and held out his hands.

Skylar took one, and Ward had to take a deep breath before he grabbed the other. Even through their gloves, there was something electric about the simple contact. Ward fought to restrain a smile.

Just holding Charlie's hand felt way too good.