Chapter 8

8

Guilt ate away at Liam for the better part of the afternoon at how he had left things with Alison. Even he could admit that kissing her and then ignoring her request to dine together was a bit beyond the pale. She hadn’t deserved that. He had fled to the stables, intent on riding out hard and fast until he could outpace the fire that burned at his core for her. One taste of her had been enough to reignite the fire in his blood that only seemed to burn as hot and bright for her. He had spent years getting off with others to fulfill his need, but only when it became unbearable, and he was unable to concentrate on anything else. None of it had ever been half as fulfilling as kissing her was. Alison’s touch had stoked a flame under his skin that he could still feel even hours later. It was that fire that had driven him back to the castle and towards her bed chambers. He had no plans now. All he knew was he needed to see her again, even if to take the brunt of her anger for his actions.

The castle was quieter now, and he slipped along easily. Many had grown accustomed to not coming to him for direction on household affairs and while that freed him up for other things, it was just another reminder of how he had not been fulfilling his duties. Alison’s words had hit at a part of him that sounded suspiciously like his father’s voice. It was equally terrifying and guilt-inducing to hear him so clearly in Liam’s own thoughts. The thought of some part of him being like his father left him almost paralyzed with the need to prove himself better.

Saner.

Footsteps coming down the corridor had him ducking into the shadows. When he peeked out, he saw one of the chambermaids coming down the hallway just as Alison’s door opened. Light illuminated the space, almost reaching where Liam was waiting. He stepped back, ensuring he wouldn’t be seen as he waited. The chambermaid who had just come from Alison’s room closed the door before nodding to the other.

“How is the Lady this evenin’?”

“Oh, fine and dandy, especially now that the young Bain has come to keep her company.” Liam frowned at the strange lilt to the chambermaid’s voice. He had to strain his hearing to get more of the conversation. “He brought her favorite pastry and everythin’. He’s laying it on real thick, that one. I willnae be surprised if the lass decides to turn course and try another.”

Liam clenched his fists at his sides and forced himself to stay still. He wanted nothing more than to step from his hiding place and confront the gossiping women. Before he could say anything, another set of footsteps came quickly down the hall. He waited until the corridor was empty again before turning to look at Alison’s door. If what the women were saying was true, Bain was currently in Alison’s bed chambers doing heaven knew what. Liam had no doubt of Alison’s loyalty, but he knew Bain was not one to turn from a pretty girl, and Alison was without a doubt one of the most beautiful across the clans.

“She would never betray me,” he whispered to himself, though his voice felt weak with doubt. His insecurity had nothing to do with Alison and everything to do with his own misgivings. If anything, today had shown Liam just what he was losing by hiding out in the shadows on more occasions than just one.

The meeting this morning with the elders had showcased how fickle they were when it came to the running of the clan. Liam had been groomed from birth to take over the lairdship and continue his family’s legacy, and yet, his uncle was the one at the head of the table today, leading the discussions. It was Bain who was asked for his thoughts, and it was Liam who had left with no one following him out. How had Liam lost sight of what he had been raised for? How had he been so blind to the fact that his uncle was now grooming Bain to lead and pushing Liam out of his birthright? And now, it was Liam once again hiding in the shadows, casting a dark cloud over his own life while his cousin was in the bed chambers of his wife, winning her over with her favorite pastries and conversation that Liam had refused to have. Had they dined together as well?

That the gossip had reached the staff meant that this behavior had been going on for a while. How long had Bain been tending to Alison right under Liam’s very nose? Liam certainly hadn’t made it difficult for him, what with spending most nights between the legs of another. He hadn’t hidden that, and Alison had even spoken on it earlier in the day. This misfortune was no one’s fault but his own. Liam had been sidelined in his own life, and he had been the key to it.

The door opening again caught Liam’s attention, and he narrowed his eyes as he melted back into the shadows. Bain stepped out of Alison’s room, slowly closing the door behind him. He paused there, and Liam wondered for a moment what he was thinking. He wanted nothing more than to come out and confront Bain. He wanted to drive his fist into his cousin’s face until all the anger and rage bled out of him. But Liam knew he had to be smart about this. If Bain was already on his way to winning Alison over, confronting him physically could work in Bain’s favor. It would make him a sympathetic party with Liam the aggressor. He didn’t need that working against him. Liam needed proof that things were happening so he could formulate the perfect strategy to reclaim his wife.

When Bain finally moved on, stalking down the hallway with purpose, Liam stepped fully out of the corner and moved to Alison’s door. There was no one around to witness his hesitation, and he was glad for it. All he needed was to be observed quaking outside his wife’s room like a helpless virgin before their deflowering. The time for being timid was over. Nodding to himself, Liam pushed the door open, striding into Alison’s bed chamber with a type of confidence he didn’t actually feel.

Stepping inside was a little like going back in time. The last time Liam had really been inside this room was the night of their wedding. He had moved to a new set of chambers shortly thereafter as a way to not get lost in the memory of their only night together. He could still remember it like it was yesterday.

“Liam?” Alison’s soft voice pulled him out of his memories, and Liam turned. Alison was standing by the fireplace, her face illuminated by the orange and red flames. She was fully dressed and didn’t look the part of a ravished maiden, but he knew looks could be deceiving. “What are you doing here?”

Her voice didn’t waver, nor did it sound accusatory. Liam couldn’t read anything from it, which frustrated him. It meant he had to ask questions, and he wasn’t sure which ones would invoke the right emotions.

“I do believe you invited me to dine with you this evening.” He knew it was much later than the supper hour, but he still hadn’t come up with a plan of attack for the conversations they needed to have.

Shock and surprise flooded Alison’s mind. Despite her repeated asks, she had given up the idea that Liam would ever take her up on dining together. Yet, here he stood now, asking about her invitation for him to take supper with her. It was maddening how he came now when she had asked him hours ago. What type of game was he trying to play? And why was she actually considering calling someone from the kitchen to fetch an additional meal? Did she have no shame?

“You’re too late,” Alison said, finally pitching her voice nonchalantly as if his agreement meant nothing to her. “Dinner invitations are meant to be agreed upon right then unless a later time and date are given.”

“I had not realized the invitation came with an expiration date.”

Now Alison did narrow her eyes. Who was Liam trying to fool? “O’course not. Whatever you want, I’m just supposed to agree and never have a thought of my own.”

Liam was not surprised by Alison’s anger. She deserved to feel it after the past few years, and he would never speak ill of her for it. Still, the memory of Bain leaving her chamber had Liam’s blood boiling. Had Bain dined with her tonight? Did he do that often? How many times had Liam ridden out with Bain sitting beside the wife Liam had promised to hold dear?

“It seems you have plenty of thoughts, though none that you should.”

Alison frowned at Liam’s words. “What are you talking about?”

Liam took a step forward, his jealousy warping his words before he could rein them in. “Tell me, how long did it take for you to offer your presence to Bain for supper? Did you extend a formal invitation to him as well, or was he simply waiting in the wings, hiding until I had turned my back?” That wasn’t what Liam had meant to say, but the sharp stab of envy at his cousin enjoying that which he had been depriving himself of didn’t sit well with him.

Alison was struck with a wave of anger so strong it struck her mute for a few moments. Never before had she been so insulted. Even with the years of neglect from Liam never had she thought he would be so cruel as to accuse her of lying with another. The hypocrisy of it was not lost on her.

“Out of the two of us,” she said, her voice deadly calm, “I am not the one finding solace between the thighs of others.”

Liam had expected Alison to yell or scream out her anger at his words, so this reaction was throwing him. Her silent strength had always left him in awe, but now it left him panicking. Perhaps he had let his jealousy get the better of him. He didn’t doubt Bain was after something, but he knew Alison. He had known her integrity from the moment he first saw her, and now he knew with certainty that those words had been the wrong ones to say.

“Alison—”

“Get out,” she said, cutting him off. The sentence was spoken firmly with no room for pushback. Liam knew he had crossed the line, and he didn’t doubt that this was a strike for him when it came to reestablishing himself as the future laird of the clan. He also knew that to push his presence now would be the wrong move. There were no words to defend himself, not now. All he could hope to do was try again tomorrow when cooler heads prevailed.

Without a word, Liam turned, leaving just as quickly as he came. He would spend the night figuring out the best way to apologize to Alison in the hopes that she would forgive him. But for now, he would have to figure out how to thwart not only his past transgressions, but also his own flesh and blood.