Chapter 7

7

Alison sat staring out the window. The last few hours had found her unable to do anything but busy herself in her room as thoughts of her and Liam’s kiss continued to play out in her mind. The passion that was there was more than she had ever imagined, even in the fantasies that plagued her when the sun went down, and she found herself alone in her bed chambers. How could it be that so many years had passed since their last touch and yet, one brush of lips could ignite so much feeling? It was dizzying and left her paralyzed in place, unable to move forward or backward while she tried to make sense of it.

The breeze carried the faint scent of salt and Alison closed her eyes as she breathed deeply, letting the scent relax her. Unable to help herself, she brought her hand up, fingers prodding her still puffy kiss-bruised lips. It wasn't difficult to sink into the memory of those biting kisses. She felt her body clenched as arousal slid over her, and she had to squeeze her thighs together and lock her knees to keep from sinking to the floor. If not for the past few years of neglect, she wouldn't have felt so conflicted about swooning over a kiss. Despite it all, Liam was her husband. She should swoon over the passion between them, but if the past had given her anything, it was the understanding that falling into feelings, however appropriate given their marital status, was an action taken in vain. Even after being wrapped in his arms as they traded kisses that left syrupy pulses of want through her, nothing substantial had come from it.

In a moment of weakness, she had sought him out again to dine with her this evening and yet, the only answer had been the familiar sight of Liam’s back as he walked away. Somehow, though it wasn't the first time, Alison was even more upset at the dismissal. Perhaps the kiss had given her the misguided hope that something had changed. But that was a fool’s wish. If she had learned anything in the years since their marriage was solidified, it was that hope was the great deceiver. She could only wait to see if Liam would take her advice to heart when it came to the clan. That was the most important thing, particularly with the whispers that she had been privy to lately.

A knock on the door had Alison turning, and she schooled her expression into one that did not betray the thoughts rolling through her mind. For a moment, she was foolishly hopeful that it was Liam and that their kisses had meant something more. That hope was again dashed when her usual chambermaid entered with the familiar evening tray.

“My lady. I have come with a wee bit of supper for you this evening. Unless you would rather dine out in the great hall?”

Alison forced herself to smile. Despite her troubles, her chambermaid had nothing to do with them. She walked away from the window gesturing at the table by the fireplace. “Here is fine. Dine with me tonight?”

The maid smiled and nodded as she made her way to the familiar setup. The first few months after marriage, Alison had continued to dine in the hall in the hopes that Liam would soon snap out of his grief and join her. But by the sixth month of solo dinners that left her confused and more than a little hurt, that hope had slowly faded away. By the end of the first year, she had begun to take all of her meals in her chambers. Company wasn't necessarily hard to come by, given the number of workers in the castle, and she was loath to feed the rumor mill by taking every meal at an empty table. It was much better to dine behind closed doors and away from prying eyes.

Alison sat, the scent of bread and gravy finally breaking through some of her melancholy. She was almost ravenous in the way she dug in, and soon slowed when the chambermaid chuckled softly.

“There's no need for any formalities, my lady,” the maid said with a fond smile. She had normally been the one to dine with Alison in the evening, if only to keep the lady comfortable. Many of the maids talked about the distance between her and Liam. Many of them talked about the frequency with which chambermaids seemed to fall into Liam’s bed as well, but those conversations were the sordid type and not fit for the Lady’s company.

“So tell me,” Alison said as she lifted the spoon to her lips. “What have people been discussing lately when it comes to the clan?” This was a ritual that Alison participated in daily. She liked to know the happenings, even if there was very little she could do when it came to solutions. Alison only had so much leeway, considering Liam’s uncle was the laird in his stead. It left Alison feeling useless, but she bided her time, knowing that the day would eventually come where she stood in a role more fit for her station.

The evening passed easily enough, with Alison sharing gossip along with the meal. It wasn't until the maid was collecting the dishes to return to the kitchen that the door once again opened. Her heart in her throat, Alison watched and desperately tried to fight against the hope that bloomed anew in her chest. For a split second, the gray gaze that met hers had her heart leaping, until she realized it wasn’t Liam’s.

“Oh, Bain. What brings you here this evening?”

It was unusual for Bain to visit Alison in her chambers. Usually, she would see him about the castle or more frequently in the garden. For a moment, she considered leaving the chamber and inviting him to the Great Hall to ensure that tongues wouldn't wag unnecessarily. Before she could get the words out, he stepped smoothly through the doorway, and she saw him hold out something in his hands.

“What is that?” Alison asked, unable to curb her curiosity. She saw her maid turn to leave the room, but before she could ask her to stay, Bain replied.

“I thought I would bring you your favorite pastry. Just a little something to make the evening more pleasant.” Despite herself, Alison couldn't help but appreciate his thoughtfulness. She was still hoping that perhaps the open doorway would reveal Liam, but another part of her was focused on the way Bain was stepping closer. Something about his walk toward her seemed off. She hid her hands behind her back as her fingers gripped each other tightly.

“That is very sweet of you. Though, I confess, I don't have much of an appetite this evening.” For a moment, Bain’s expression slipped, and Alison wondered what thought had briefly gone through his head. Soon enough, the smile was back, though it didn't give Alison the feeling of warmth Liam’s used to.

She couldn't help but compare the cousins, though she knew it was not fair. Bain was being nice in a moment where she could truly use some niceties. It wasn't his fault that he couldn't compare to the man she still loved. Alison was quickly coming to realize that no one could. Pushing Liam from her mind, she gestured to the now empty table.

“Please feel free to sit if you would like.” Bain nodded, walking over to the table and setting the pastries on top of it. He didn't sit, though. Instead, he turned to Alison and gave her a look that nearly made her take a step away. “Bain? Is everything alright?”

“Nay, everythin’ is nae alright,” he replied, smile dropping from his angular face. “I must confess that I find myself upset by your evening spent alone, dining in the company of only chambermaids. You dinnae need to live this life, Alison. If you were to join me, I would ensure that your nights are only filled with the company of those who love you, as I do.”

Alison's heart beat triple time as she peered down at the pastries on the table. She needed a moment to collect her thoughts. She had wondered about Bain’s interest in her over the past few weeks, but she had hoped it was nothing more than familial concern. That was clearly not the case.

“I dinnae ken what you mean,” she started before sitting as if unconcerned with his latest confession. “I find that dining with just a few people can be as comfortable, if not more, than dining in a crowded hall.” It was a lie, but it was one that she needed to tell to move past this uncomfortable moment. She could tell Bain wanted to say something more, but before he could open his mouth, she continued. “Sit, have a pastry with me and tell me about your travels. It has been long since I have left our land, and I find myself curious to hear how things have changed outside the clan.”

Alison knew this wouldn't hold him off forever, but for now, she had given herself some time to sit and think.

Bain kept his expression carefully controlled until he closed the door to Alison’s chambers behind him. Out in the silence of the hallway, he let himself scowl in frustration. He had been almost certain Alison would be receptive to his forwardness. From the information he had gathered from the staff, she was often alone in the evenings, and he was sure his company would be far more enjoyable than one paid to be there. And yet, he was on the outside with no real answer to speak of. He ground his back teeth together before pushing off the door and heading towards his father’s study.

All around him, the castle was settling into the evening. The shuffle of noise was slowly fading as chores were completed and those who didn’t stay full-time in the castle headed to their own homes for the night before coming back bright and early to start it over again the next day. Bain strode past the few servants who remained, not bothering to acknowledge them as he moved toward his destination. If patterns held true, Liam would be on his way to the tavern by now. Bain wasn’t sure if he had time to orchestrate another frustrating night for his cousin; not on such short notice. The other distraction hadn’t panned out as he planned, though he did feel a sense of satisfaction at seeing his cousin’s face that morning.

“Where have you been?” Laird Cormac hissed when Bain finally reached his study. Bain shut the door firmly behind himself before answering.

“I was in Lady Alison’s chambers.”

“And?”

Bain shook his head sharply. “It was for naught. She dinnae respond to my request and changed the subject.”

“Damnit,” Laird Cormac said, slapping his hand on the desk. He looked away and Bain noted the way his other hand shook. “O’course she still feels tied to that boy. We need her family’s support if we’re going to officially claim the clan as our own. Dinnae forget that it’s not just my legacy on the line.”

Bain nodded. “I know, da. Dinnae fret,” he said before walking closer to the desk. “She dinnae say no and with Liam’s behavior, I don’t doubt she will come around.”

“Eejit,” Laird Cormac spit out before sliding his shaking hand under the desk and out of sight. “Don’t underestimate the charm of young love.”

Bain gnashed his teeth at the admonishment. He didn’t need the reminder that his status in the clan was dependent upon getting Alison away from Liam and on their side. But, he had many plans to carry out, and he was sure they would fall.

“Things are being handled. Dinnae fret.”

Laird Cormac scowled. “Dinnae fret? That’s all you say. I want to see results, and currently you have nothing to show for all your scheming. Leave me. I need to make my own plans.”

Bain growled softly before turning sharply and exiting the study. Lord Cormac watched him go with a sense of trepidation. His hand shook as he sat back in his chair intent on making some plans of his own.