Chapter 57

Holly is so distracted during her videoconference with her editor that the young woman stops mid-sentence to ask if everything is all right. Holly resists the urge to tell her that nothing is. That two of her patients are dead, another is missing, and her own husband might be responsible. But Holly blames her preoccupation instead on a poor night’s sleep. And she agrees to submit two new chapters by the end of the month.

After the call ends, Holly doesn’t even check her appointment planner. She didn’t think any of the remaining tribe members would want to continue seeing her, so she’s surprised to see Tanya escorting Salvador in as her first client of the day.

Aside from his ubiquitous ball cap, Salvador looks different. Not right. Holly realizes that it’s not because of his pallor or even the deep bags under his bloodshot eyes. It’s his body language. Where normally he would bound into her office, today he trudges in with his neck stooped and his shoulders low.

“Hello, Salvador.”

“Morning, Dr. Danvers.” Even his voice is subdued.

“What’s going on?” Holly asks gently.

“I fell off the wagon last night,” he says, taking a seat.

She can’t help it. Her face falls. “Adderall?”

“And blow.” He sniffles a few times as if to emphasize the point. “The only reason I made it here this morning is ’cause I never went to bed.”

“What happened, Salvador?”

“Where to begin?” He starts counting with his fingers. “Elaine, JJ, Liisa…”

“Of course,” Holly says. “But did something specifically happen last night?”

“Who knows? Maybe the last of the ketamine wore off.”

“It doesn’t work like that, Salvador.”

“Nothing works at all now, Dr. Danvers! We were a tribe bonded by our weaknesses, our temptations, our shame. And now…” He tosses up his hands.

“Relapses are to be expected, Salvador,” she says. “It’s never a smooth road with addiction. It’s part of the healing process.”

“What process?” he cries, bobbing in his chair. “When’s the next ketamine session? The next group therapy?”

She shakes her head. “I’m happy to continue working with you one-on-one, but group therapy isn’t possible now.”

“Just as well.” He giggles nervously. “We don’t have much of a group left.”

Holly can think of nothing positive to offer, so she only nods.

“Next week was supposed to be a celebration,” Salvador says. “Two months of sobriety. That little milestone would’ve fallen on the very same day my new line premieres.”

“I’m sorry, Salvador.”

“The irony is JJ was supposed to help me with the after-party for my show. I texted her about it only hours before she jumped. I still can’t wrap my head around that.”

“What did she tell you?”

“Practically nothing. Like one- or two-word answers.”

Holly thinks of the empty bottles the police found in JJ’s condo that night. “Did you get the sense JJ had been drinking?”

“Nah. And trust me, I’ve seen enough drunk texts to spot them a mile away.”

“JJ didn’t mention anything about a run-in with someone earlier that day?”

“Run-in?”

“Nothing about a Dr. Laing?”

He grimaces. “Who?”

“It’s OK. Never mind.”

“It was only a few texts. She barely said anything.” Salvador rubs his eyes. “It’s too bad, though. JJ was supposed to have met up with Reese that night.”

“Reese?”

“Yeah. Imagine how different it might have turned out if they had.”

“Why didn’t they?”

He shakes his head. “Reese had to cancel.”

“Reese told you this?”

“She told all of us. A legal crisis or something. She feels horrible about it, too. Even shittier because she canceled by text.” Salvador snorts. “As if a phone call would’ve made any difference.”

Holly only nods, blank faced, despite the alarm bells going off inside her head.

“Let’s face it,” he says. “We’d all noticed how off JJ was after Elaine’s OD. And none of us lifted a finger to help her.”

“Easy to think that way in retrospect,” Holly mutters, totally distracted.

Salvador taps his chest. “But I’m dying, here, myself! When can I get back on the ketamine, Dr. Danvers? It’s the only thing that has worked so far!”

“Not yet, Salvador. Not until we know how the ketamine has affected events. Meantime you and I can focus on cognitive-behavioral techniques if you’d like.”

He looks forlorn. “Sure, why not? Sobriety is overrated anyway.”

As soon as Salvador is gone, Holly grabs her phone and texts Aaron: Question for you.

He replies immediately: ?

What time was it when you spoke to JJ outside the museum?

A little before six. Why?

And JJ told you she was late to meet a friend, right?

He replies with a check emoji.

She doesn’t ask him the one question that burns in her brain:

If Reese really did cancel on JJ via text, then how did she learn the details of the conversation Aaron had with JJ only hours before her death?