16. Ian

Shit, shit, shit.

What the hell was she thinking?

Ian paced the kitchen after Maddie had gone back upstairs. He knew he had hurt her. He'd ultimately rejected her when she had put herself out there, and he could see the pain in her eyes. But, fuck him, it took all of his control not to pick her up in his arms and take her up to his bedroom.

Those ruffle panties she'd been wearing had made his mouth so dry that he was sure he was going to swallow his tongue. He had played with a lot of Littles over the years, yet none of them held a candle to what Maddie did to him in that outfit. He wanted to pull on her pigtails while she sucked his cock. And she had a pacifier attached by a lead to her onesie. God, she looked like an angel.

Her admission that she loved him had rocked him to the core. She couldn't love him. There was no way. She just had a crush on him, maybe. And she was a virgin because she was waiting for him? Fuck him to hell.

Grabbing his keys, Ian knew he needed to get out of the house. He didn't know where he would go, but he needed to get as far away from her as possible before he lost control and went up to her room. Getting into his Audi, Ian drove through the city for over an hour before he found himself parked in front of the BDSM club he belonged to.

He needed to burn off some steam and Daddy someone. After checking in at the front desk, Ian stepped through the second set of doors that led to the main gathering area of the club. From there, several hallways led to different themed rooms. There was a dungeon area that had never really appealed to him, a medical area, an orgy area, and the Little area, which was the area he spent the most time in.

Being that it was a Friday night, it was busy and loud. People were dressed in all sorts of ways. Some had on dress clothes, some more casual or in very little clothing, and some walked around completely naked. He absently greeted several people he knew as he made his way back to the Littles' area.

He stepped into the large area that looked like a giant living room with baskets of toys all along the wall, several oversized rocking chairs, a big TV hanging from the wall that had an animated movie playing, and bean bag chairs set up in front of the TV with comfortable couches for the caretakers behind them. Several Littles were moving about the room while their caretakers weren't far behind, each making sure their Little was staying safe and out of trouble.

The room monitor, Jace, nodded towards him. Jace was a Daddy and part owner in the club. The man didn't have a Little of his own from what Ian knew. Maybe he could introduce Maddie to him. He was a good man.

Like hell, I'm going to introduce her to him. She's mine.

Shaking his ridiculous thoughts away, Ian brought his focus back to the room. He knew most of the Tops and Littles that came to the club. The Tops always looked out for each other's Littles and even babysat whenever a Top needed a sitter. Ian had babysat a few times when one of his Top friends had to go out of town for work for a couple of days at a time. It had been a fun experience, but babysitting wasn't the same as having your own Little and being able to have the special bond and intimacy that came along with it.

He wondered how Maddie would react if he brought her to the club. Would she want to play with others, or would she prefer to keep that side of her private and only share it with him? It didn't matter either way because he would never find out. She was off-limits. He had to get her out of his head. Except for the only thing he could see in his mind was the sad look in her eyes as she turned away from him and slumped her shoulders as her adorable, ruffled bottom shuffled out of the kitchen. He was a complete asshole.

What the hell was he supposed to do? He couldn't have her. She was a beautiful, intelligent, sweet girl who made the most adorable Little he had ever seen, so there was no doubt in his mind that she could find herself a great Daddy if that's what she wanted.

Only, the thought of her with another man, especially another Daddy, made him feel homicidal. He didn't want her to be anyone else's baby girl. He wanted her to be his baby girl, to submit to him completely and wholly. He wanted to coddle her and spoil her, and he wanted to spank her until she was crying and begging for him to stop. She needed a good spanking for coming out in that outfit. Little brat.

Ian stood at the room's perimeter for a bit, watching the interactions between the Littles and their Tops. A pang of longing ran through him. He wanted Maddie so badly, but she was the one person he couldn't have. How was he going to live in the same house as her after the bomb she'd dropped on him? Cam had asked that he care for her until she got married, and he would fulfill that wish even if it would be pure torture for him.

A couple of Tops approached him and offered to let him play with their Little, but Ian turned them down. As much as he needed to Daddy someone and dominate, there was only one person he could think of that he wanted to do that with, so he just observed for a bit longer before heading out to his car.

It was past nine when he got home, and the house was quiet. They hadn't had a movie night, and he felt guilty for that, but he doubted that Maddie would want anything to do with him after the way he had acted. He would find a way to make it up to her. He didn't know how, but she would understand his reasoning and forgive him over time.

Pulling out his phone, he dialed Damian. Normally when he needed to talk something through, he would have called Cam, so it felt odd to be calling someone else when he had a problem. Damian was a Daddy, though, and Ian was sure he would understand where he had been coming from when he turned Maddie down.

"You're calling me on a Friday night like you think I don't have a social life," Damian said when he answered.

Ian chuckled, "You're answering, so that tells me you don't have anything going on, on a Friday night."

Damian grunted, "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"I hurt Maddie, and I don't know what to do."

Ian explained everything that had happened earlier in the night and then sighed as he waited for Damian to chew him out.

"Damn, man. That's rough."

Ian scowled, "Really? That's all you have to say? I thought you would give me some great advice or at least tell me I did the right thing."

"Did you, though?" Damian asked.

"Did I what?" he barked.

"Did you do the right thing?"

Ian thought about that for a moment, "She is Cam's little sister. It would be pretty disrespectful to get involved with his sister, especially after he died and would have no say in it."

Damian sighed, "Don't you think Cameron would want his sister to be happy? And don't you think Cam would want you to be with his sister, protecting her and loving her, rather than some random guy?"

Raking his fingers through his hair, Ian let out a deep breath.

"She's only twenty-four. She has barely lived her life yet. She's also a virgin. Maddie might think that she's a Little, but there's a huge difference between feeling Little sometimes and being in a relationship with a Daddy Dom who wants to be in charge all the time, of every little thing."

"There is nothing wrong with her saving herself for you. It shows how loyal she is and how much she cares about you. And if she has been reading about this lifestyle for long, I think she would know what she would be getting if she was in that type of relationship. Whether you realize it or not, she is an adult, and she is old enough to know exactly what she wants. Besides, a lot of Littles prefer having an older Daddy. It plays into the fantasy more."

"You are not helping," Ian said with exasperation.

Damian laughed, "Sorry, man. But you deserve to be happy. She does too. And I think Cam would want you both to be happy, even if it was together."

"I know Cameron thought highly of me, and he knew my tastes, but he wasn't into the lifestyle, and I don't know if he would approve of his sister being a Little or of me doing the things that I would want to do to her if she were mine," Ian said.

"As long as everything was consensual and you protected Maddie and treated her like the princess that she is, Cam would have been thrilled if you two got together. I didn't know Cam as well as you, but I do know that he was more interested in the lifestyle than you think."

"What would make you think that?" Ian asked.

Damian cleared his throat, "The last time I was in Denver on business, I went to dinner with Cam. He asked me some questions about being a Daddy, and when I asked him why he was asking, he told me that he was considering trying it out. He said that the idea of taking care of someone so intimately made him think he would enjoy it. He had a lot of knowledge about it already, which made me think he had been doing his research."

Ian drummed his fingers on the countertop as he processed what Damian had just told him. He could have pictured Cameron as a soft Daddy. He would have made a good one. But just because he was interested in it didn't mean he would want his sister to be into the lifestyle.

"Ultimately, Maddie will go find another Daddy at some point if she genuinely wants to be a Little. Would you prefer to be the one who is her Daddy, or do you want some random guy to be her Daddy?

He would rather roll in a pile of cow shit than see her with some random guy as her Daddy.