Chapter 39

chapter thirty-nine

Gavin

When I left Quinn's dorm I didn't sleep a wink. Not until about twenty minutes before my alarm went off to meet the team to get on the bus.

I texted Remi to check on her, but I couldn't bring myself to message her. Watching her walk away from me last night solidified every doubt I had about Collins. It was clear that, as long as he was around, her heart would be conflicted.

I reread her messages before typing one back.

Daisy

I'm sorry, you were right.

Please talk to me.

I have to get on the bus. We can talk when I get back. I need you to figure out exactly what it is that you want because if it's not me, then you need to let me go.

It was hard for me to think that Quinn could end up with someone, anyone, other than me, but I had to let her figure it out on her own. I know that meeting me over the summer and reuniting with me here wasn't something that she had planned, so of course these past few months have been a whirlwind. For her and me.

I stare at the message I just sent and somewhat regret sending it. What if she decides that it's not me? What if she decides that she regrets me? My phone vibrates in my hand as I climb up the bus steps and I feel my heart sink.

Daisy

Phoenix…

Please don't do this…

Do what I said. Think about everything that's happened over the past few months and then we can talk. If there's a chance that you still love him, then I'm serious, just go be with him.

Those last few words make me sick to my stomach. I know that Quinn is the only girl for me, that I'll die alone if not with her, and somehow I'd still be willing to let her go if I thought it's what she wanted. I'd do anything to make her happy, even if it means being miserable myself. Maybe I had it all wrong, but watching her go to him after he'd already hurt her so much had to mean something.

Knowing damn well this will have an effect on my game this weekend also puts me in a position that I'd rather not be in. I hate having to pretend that everything is fine when it's not. That's not my strong suit.

I sit down on the bus next to Levi and push my phone back down into my team backpack. I need to get some sleep because the second we make it to Southern Alabama, Coach will have us do a practice.

Speaking of Coach, he walks onto the bus last and passes a clipboard over the seat to Levi, "These are the room assignments."

The past two road games, Levi and I have roomed together for obvious reasons but this time, Levi's name is next to Hudson's and mine is?—

Oh, hell no.

I stand up and push the clipboard back over the seat, "Coach, there has to be a mistake."

Coach stares me directly in the eye, "No mistake, Richardson. Is there a problem?"

Levi looks at me like he's waiting for me to argue, but I don't. Arguing with Coach about rooming with Collins will only solidify that we should in fact room together.

"No sir, no problem."

I look around the bus and find Collins passed out against the window a few rows back.

Great .

Guess it doesn't matter if he was black out drunk last night. He can't play anyway, but it looks like he got what he wanted and made it home without incident. Although Remi did tell me that Collins and Quinn did not leave together, it doesn't take away from the fact that I'll never know what was said between them.

As if my game wasn't already going to be off this weekend, let's add not sleeping. I take advantage of the four and half hour ride and the fact that I don't have to sleep with one eye open, and try my best to fall asleep against the window. I'm not very successful.

After we eat dinner, we are back at the hotel early and I dread going to my room. Hell, I've half decided to snuggle up to my brother.

"Where are you going?" Remi asks as I walk through the lobby to the elevator.

"Hopefully to sleep," I say. "Guess that will be determined by Collins and whether or not he can keep his mouth shut."

Remi cringes, "How did that even happen? You think Coach knows you broke his arm?"

I shrug, "I don't know, honestly. I don't think he said anything since he slipped Levi God knows what and made his heart go crazy."

"Well good luck with that," Remi says. "If you need an emergency evac, I got you."

I chuckle, "Thanks."

We part ways once the elevator doors open and I use my key to open the door. Collins sits perched on one of the beds with his phone in his left hand, before tilting his eyes up to meet mine.

"Hey roomie," he spits. "Aren't you glad I requested to be your roommate? I figured we need to have a conversation. What better opportunity?"

I feel my blood boil, "You requested we room together? What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"I just wanted to talk to you."

I narrow my eyes at him, "About Quinn?"

"I made some mistakes," he admits. "Lots of them. I took advantage of her trust once I earned it, but you have to remember something. Quinn came here for me. She followed me here. If she loved me enough to choose Ridge U over Yale, what makes you think all of that is gone so fast? What happens six months from now when she realizes that she's not over me? Then what?"

"You knew about Yale?" I question. "You let her put her dream to the side to follow the guy who cheated on her?"

He scoffs, "Of course I did. It's Quinn, don't sit there and act like you wouldn't have done the same thing. The girls here are fun, Richardson, but they aren't wifey material like Quinn. That bitch is loyal."

The way he speaks about her makes me furious. Like he wants her to be his endgame and doesn't care how much he hurts her on the way there. She's not some kind of shiny trophy, she's a person.

"You know I'm right," he gloats.

I toss my duffle bag onto the bed, "You are ridiculous."

"No," he says, "I'm realistic. She was still calling me all summer, bro."

Although it hurts to hear that, I don't think he's lying. I think back to the cruise and how she was wearing his shirt and her sister worried that she was still upset. Maybe she isn't over him. Maybe I pushed too hard for something that was never gonna be mine.