Chapter 5

Chapter 5

“Do you have any idea what missing the first dinner signifies, young lady?”

Jackie’s father, it appeared, did not want her to miss it. That much was certain.

“It is certainly not the sort of thing a young lady wishing to marry a duke would do,” she snapped back, to which her father seemed surprised.

“Has the thought of marriage crossed your mind?”

“It has now that I know the truth.”

Her father gave Elizabeth a foul look, but Jackie stepped in front of her.

“It has nothing to do with her. It was the dowager duchess that told me. I do not know why you thought you could keep this hidden from me, but it has not worked as you can see.”

“And look at how you are behaving now that you know! Could you blame me for wanting to keep it from you?”

“I should have known so that I could prepare.”

“So that you could run away, you mean,” he scoffed. “I have given you a wonderful opportunity here. You are to become a duchess, and you cannot even thank me for it. All that you do is act spitefully toward me as if I have committed some act of evil against you.”

“Marrying me off to a man that I do not know and forcing my hand so that Elizabeth can marry is evil. How could you do this to me?”

“I thought you would do anything for your sister. You make a great show of running the household for her, at least. This is to be the last thing you ever have to do for her, so now is not the time to be selfish.”

Selfish. That was how her father saw her not wanting to marry a man she did not know outside of an unpleasant encounter. There was no reasoning with him, but it did not make following his orders any easier.

“Now,” he continued. “Act like the lady you were raised to be and come to dinner. Suffer through it, if you must, but you shall not tarnish the family name with disrespect.”

“I have a headache,” she protested. “I would be no fun there even if I did come down. Not to mention how disrespectful it would be for me not to eat a dinner prepared by their cook while sitting right there.”

“Are you truly unwell, Sister?” Elizabeth asked. “You seemed quite fine before.”

Jackie was becoming quite irritated with how her sister had changed since hearing of the plan, but she could not stay angry with her for long and so she did not bother being angry.

“Yes, I was,” she sighed. “But I believe all of the traveling has caught up to me. I think it would be best for me to rest a while, and rejoin the festivities in the morning.”

“That is anything but what is best,” her father thundered. “Now do not be so ridiculous. You know why we are here now, and so there is no need for you to pretend not to be involved. You are to woo this duke.”

“Perhaps if I had known that was my aim, I might have been more prepared to do so.”

“I could not risk such a thing, and you know that. Now, if you are refusing to be a good house guest, then your sister and I shall do our part as well as yours. You will not pull this stunt a second time, is that clear?”

“Of course,” she replied, simply content for that to be the end of it.

They left, and she threw herself onto her bed.

She knew that she was being incredibly rude, and a terrible guest, but she could not imagine facing everyone in attendance after what she learned. She was not a fool; she knew something was odd about coming to the duke’s estate even if he was a friend of her father.

She simply never imagined her father had arranged a courtship with the intention to marry her off. She certainly had not expected him to do it without saying a word to her. It was more his style to announce it to all he knew, and toy with her until the last possible moment.

His motives were simple, there was no denying that, and in some way, she understood them completely. That did not make it any better that he had kept it from her deliberately, and now was berating her for not being happy about it.

Time passed, the hum of the dinner beneath her only serving to make her feel far worse, and eventually it was dark out. She heard a knock at her door and closed her eyes, feigning sleep.

“Jackie?” Elizabeth whispered. “Are you awake?”

Jackie remained silent, refusing to give any indication that she was. Regardless, her sister entered.

“I know you likely hate me right now,” she continued. “And you have every right to, but I will make it up to you. Even if it takes me the rest of my life, I will do something to fix this. I love you.”

She left again, and Jackie felt tears form in her eyes. It was the first time that they had ever truly argued, and she hated it, but she could not forgive it. She understood that Elizabeth had only done it because she had deemed it a necessary evil, but that did not make it hurt any less.

She tried to sleep, but it wouldn’t come. Nothing made it any easier to fall asleep, and even when she did, she was awake again within minutes. Eventually, she gave in and noticed that the sky was lightening once more, and temptation took over her completely.

As a girl, she would watch the sunrise with her mother, and the two of them would talk about anything and everything that came to mind. Jackie still did it, from time to time, and it was the right morning for it. Tiptoeing through the halls, she found the door leading outside and seated herself, watching the sky turn red, then orange.

“This is quite awful, Mama,” she said gently. “I don’t suppose that you ever saw me in a situation such as this, did you? I know I certainly did not. It is strange, because a part of me knows that I would have done it willingly had I known.”

She almost waited for a response, though she knew that none would come.

“The house is lovely, is it not?” She continued. “It is larger than anything I could have dreamed of, and Elizabeth certainly seems enamored with it. And the gardens are wonderful. I do so love flowers, as you know, and these have been tended to beautifully. It makes me think about being courted, and how I might have received flowers of my own.”

She was to be courted, of course, but not in the way she had once thought.

“I wonder, Mama, if you were here, things would have been different? Of course it would have, for Father never would have started to—never mind. What I mean to say is that I would have married another gentleman, surely? Would he have been a duke, do you think? Likely not, even if I was liked during my season. An earl would have been perfectly fine, though. I was never one for riches, which is just as well given what happened when you… when you left us.”

Had her mother been there, Jackie was quite sure that she would have smiled, rubbed her arm affectionately, and told her to be brave and do what she thought was right. It was a scary situation to be in, that much was clear, but the only way out was through, and so she had to act accordingly. After all, how bad could life as a duchess be?

As if on cue, the duke appeared. He was not near her, but close enough that she knew it was him. She wondered if it was mere coincidence, or if she was being followed again, but he appeared not to have noticed her. If anything, he was walking in the opposite direction, and she should have been pleased about that, but she was not.

She was resigned to her fate. If it helped her family, then she would marry the duke and do what was necessary to make her life good. However, marrying him meant that she would need to be accustomed to him sooner or later, and she thought it best that they knew one another well before too much time passed. He had been pleasant enough, after all, and seemed to be quite different from the man she had met once before.

“Your Grace?” She called, and he froze, turning to her. “Good morning.”

He remained still for a moment, and only partially turned. His hair hid his face, but she saw some scarring on his hands and arms even with the distance between them.

It was old scarring, a shade lighter than his complexion, slightly raised and taut in some areas. She had never seen such a thing on a person before, but from what she had been told he was supposed to be a hideously disfigured man. This, however, was nothing like the red and raw state she had been expecting to see.

“Good morning, Lady Jacqueline,” he replied at last. “I hope that you slept well.”

“Well, if we are to begin this honestly, you might as well know that I did not. I have certainly found it easier to sleep, at least.”

He paused for a moment, and she wondered what was going through his head. She had been disrespectful, even if she had good intentions, and it was not too dissimilar to the situation they were in years ago, when he was most unkind to her. She waited for the harsh words, but they did not come.

“You should know that I won’t force you into a courtship, not if you are not comfortable with me.”

It did not make any sense at first. After all, he had done everything in his power to make her feel welcome, and since her arrival he had been nothing but cordial. There was no real reason for her to feel uncomfortable around him, as far as she was concerned.

Then she saw how the sunlight reflected on his hands, the scars shining. All at once, she realized what he meant. He expected her to be horrified by him, as if he were some beast rather than a man.

She did not know, of course, the extent of his burn scars elsewhere, and should he have felt uncomfortable letting people see them, then she would not have been surprised. But they were to marry—if all went well—and she could not spend her life being suspicious of his looks. Whether she liked it or not, they would have to handle the matter before they could go any further.

“We ought to be more at ease with each other, I believe,” she said gently. “If we are to make this work, then we will both have to give a little, if that is all right with you.”

“Oh… of course,” he replied, still facing mostly away from her.

“Very well. Might you turn and look at me, so that we can speak face to face?”

She saw his eyes widen.

“Lady Jacqueline, as much as I would love to do that, as I know it would help you know me better, I—”

“We cannot very well have a wedding ceremony with you standing several feet away from me,” she joked gently, trying to lighten things. “I assure you that I will not see you any differently. If anything, it will make me trust you a good deal more, because I will have seen you properly.”

He kept his distance, not moving at all, as if thinking about the best course of action.

“Please, Your Grace?”