Chapter 6

CHAPTER SIX

Pandora trembled as she held out her arms. I’d never seen anyone so uncomfortable around a baby. I was worried she’d drop her. Out of pure motherly instinct, I moved closer, ready to catch my daughter if she fell. The Demon spared me a grateful glance. It slightly calmed my frayed nerves.

Cecily put her hand on Pandora’s back, and Abaddon stood by. The Demon hadn’t said a word, but his presence spoke volumes. He was here for Cecily. I wasn’t sure if he trusted Pandora, but he did trust Cecily.

Candy Vargo was all over the shiiiituation. As she placed my daughter into Pandora’s arms, she positioned her so she was safe and secure. Gideon’s stressed breathing was loud in the quiet room. His unease was evident. I wasn’t relaxed, but wasn’t as on edge. What was happening was nuts, but Alana Catherine was insistent and persistent.

I marveled at the bizarre circumstances unraveling in front of my eyes. Going from widowed paralegal, to the Death Counselor, to the Angel of Mercy to being a mom was almost unthinkable. However, it was my truth. I was handling it the best I could. Seeing my daughter being held by one of the Goddesses of the Darkness had not been on my bingo card. It wouldn’t alarm me to have the Bitch Goddess Cecily hold my baby, but it was surreal to see Pandora cradle my child. I was ready to snatch her back at the first sign of my child’s distress.

“What do I do?” Pandora whispered, looking down at Alana Catherine like she was an alien.

“Nothin’,” Candy Vargo said, pulling out a toothpick and popping it into her mouth. “You let her do what she wants to do. She’s a special little chickadee, and I ain’t got no clue why she wants you.”

The Four Horsemen were still grim-faced, but they watched with curiosity. Lura Belle, Jolly Sue, and Dimple floated nearby, along with Gram and her beau, Mr. Jackson. Charlie stayed close to Gideon. That was smart. Charlie could handle him. Heck, Charlie could handle all of us. He was wise, kind, and powerful as they came. Tim and Jennifer were off to the side. Jennifer had a glass of wine, and Tim had his handy-dandy notebook.

We waited.

We didn’t have to wait long.

Alana Catherine reached up and put her chubby hand on Pandora’s cheek. My daughter giggled at the Goddess’ startled expression.

“Is this okay?” Pandora choked out. “I mean, do I need to wash my face first? Don’t you have to disinfect yourself to be around a baby?”

“It’s fine. She’s fine,” I assured her. “Just relax.”

Pandora appeared unsteady on her feet. I wasn’t the only one who noticed. Without a word, Dirk brought over the armchair and placed it behind the anxiety-ridden woman. Cecily and Candy Vargo seated her. Alana Catherine was focused on papa—and only papa. Her small hand was still on her cheek, and she stared into the Demon’s eyes.

“What?” Pandora asked, gaping at the baby in shock. “Again. Say that again.”

There was some kind of silent communication going on. I was jealous. In vitro, my daughter could communicate with me. It had been a precious miracle. It had stopped soon after she was born.

“Three,” Pandora recited.

“What about it?” Candy asked.

She shook her head and continued to stare at Alana Catherine. “Past, present and future.”

Tim scribbled it all down. He didn’t need to. I memorized every word.

“The game is a riddle. Three must play to win and break the evil spells,” Pandora said. “The show will go on, and the wheels will turn. The answers are questions. The price must be right or the innocent will pay. In the end, the choice will be on the strongest. The strongest shall emerge the victor. Anything is possible. You just have to believe. Time is running out.”

My stomach lurched. We were running out of time. That didn’t work for me. I wasn’t quite sure what the rest of the clues meant, but I got that one loud and clear.

“Three, three, three. No matter what she says, the number is three,” Pandora repeated.

“Who is she?” I asked.

The Demon looked up. “You. She’s talking about you.”

Color me confused. I glanced over at Gideon. He wasn’t as perplexed as I was. The love of my life seemed to understand, and he looked like he was about to implode. Now, my stomach was housing a marching band who’d eaten a vat of sugar before they went onto the field at halftime.

As I was about to ask more questions, Candy Vargo held up her hand. “After. We talk after. The chickadee is getting sleepy. It’s almost over, Daisy.”

She was right. Alana Catherine’s eyes were getting heavy, and she stuck her thumb into her mouth. The look on Pandora’s face was no longer one of terror. It was one of awe.

“I’m not sure I believe that,” she said softly.

“What’s that?” Tim asked, missing what she’d said.

“Nothing. I was speaking to the child.”

“Spit it out,” Candy Vargo said. “We need to hear all of it.”

Pandora turned pink and appeared lost. “I think the last part was just for me.”

Candy shook her head. “Nope. Whatever the little critter said is fair game. Out with it, or I’ll yank it out of you.”

That didn’t sound good. Clearly, Pandora didn’t think so either. With a put-upon sigh, she leaned forward and kissed Alana Catherine’s head as the baby fell asleep. “She said that the path I’m walking will lead to salvation and that I’m free to leave now.”

No one said a word. That was some heavy stuff. Tears rolled down Pandora’s cheeks as she stood up and handed me my daughter. That didn’t sound like something a future Death Counselor would know.

“She’s very special,” Pandora said, lightly touching Alana Catherine’s cheek. “She’s far more than anyone could imagine.”

“Do you know?” I asked.

She shook her head. “I do not. The answers will come with time.” The Goddess of the Darkness turned to her counterpart. “Bitch Goddess Cecily, the time has come for us to leave.”

“Thank you,” I said to Pandora. “I owe you.”

She paused for a long moment. “No. I owe you. Take care of that baby.”

“I will.”

Cecily gave me a quick hug and wished me luck. Abaddon nodded curtly to all. Pandora was strangely subdued and thoughtful. They joined hands and disappeared in a shimmering black and red mist. We stood in silence for a few minutes after they’d disappeared. I wasn’t sure what to make of the last part, but that would be dealt with eventually. Right now, we needed to decipher the clues. From the expression on Gideon’s face, I didn’t think I was going to like the answers.

“Alrighty fuckers,” Candy Vargo announced. “Shit, I mean farkers. Let’s get to work.

And we did.

I was not happy. After going back and forth for an hour, we’d worked out some of the puzzle. The answers were not satisfactory.

“Daisy girl,” Gram said, hovering next to me as I held a still-napping Alana Catherine in my arms. “You need to relax your crack.”

“My crack is fine. It’s my sanity that’s the problem.”

The debate had been heated. My baby had slept through the entire thing. Three meant the past the present and the future. As in Death Counselors—Gram, me and Alana Catherine. The thought of taking my child to the Higher Power’s plane was horrific. Plus, I wasn’t sure logistically how it could be done. If I had to be in a dream state to get there, taking Gram and Alana Catherine didn’t seem possible.

Anything was possible. I just had to believe. Those words, which usually calmed me, made me want to scream right now.

What I didn’t want to believe was that I was supposed to put my baby in danger. Gideon was beside himself and had punched a few holes in the walls. If I hadn’t been holding our child, I would have joined him.

“Look at it this way, darlin’,” Gram continued. “Three’s a right powerful number. You, me and that beautiful baby are the past, the present and the future. Kinda like the Holy Trinity of Death Counselors. The Father, the Son and I’m the Holy Ghost.”

I groaned. While my bible knowledge was iffy, I knew about the Father, Son and Holy Ghost. “The genders are wrong,” I pointed out.

“Times, they are a-changin’,” she replied.

The room suddenly darkened. The sun streaming through the windows disappeared. A feeling of dread permeated the air. The four apocalyptic queens jumped to their feet and sprinted to the door in their stilettoes.

Handing Alana Catherine to Gideon I rushed over. “What?” I asked. “What’s going on?”

Dirk took my hand and led me to the front yard. “Look up at that sky, sugar boot,” he whispered.

I did. It looked wrong. Dark clouds rimmed in icy white sat high in the sky. They floated without grace and seemed to be sparring with each other. The wind was scented with something acrid and it grew cold quickly. Checking my watch, I realized it was only six. It shouldn’t be getting dark yet. And it really shouldn’t smell bitter and angry outside. “What is that?”

Wally shook his head and stared at the ominous sky. “Girlfriend, I’m not real sure. It needs to be dealt with, though.”

My frustration was at an all-time high. I hadn’t signed up for all of this world-ending shit, but it just kept landing in my freaking lap. “Is this a warning from the Higher Power?”

Candy Vargo joined the group on the lawn. “Well, fuck a duck,” she grumbled then went into her bossy mode. “Queens, I’m gonna suggest that you fuckers go on back to Kingdom Come and get out of town for a bit.”

“Why?” I demanded. It felt safer with the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse here with us.

“One, cause they ain’t really supposed to be here. It might be their presence that’s pissin’ off the Higher Power. That’s doubtful, though. Two, if Armageddon really is on the way, them boys are the only ones who can help stop it.”

I squinted at her in confusion. “Is that what the bible says?”

She laughed. It was a tinny sound, and her smile didn’t reach her eyes. “Hell to the no. It’s what I say. Fate’s what we make of it.”

Fred mounted his steed and gave me a wistful smile. “I shall miss you, Daisy. No one in all of time has accepted us like you, your family and your friends. It’s been a glorious blip in a long and mundane life.”

Wally and Dirk hugged me and made a Daisy sandwich. It felt wonderful.

“Candy Vargo is correct, dollface. We have to go,” Wally said, kissing my cheek then wiping away the lipstick smear he’d just left. “I shall leave you with this little tale. It might be useful. Many moons ago, I wanted to fit in with the human population and see what all the fuss was about. So, I took a job at a fast-food burger joint in Cleveland. It was so much fun!”

I had no idea where this was going. From the expression on Candy’s face, she didn’t either.

“Oh yes!” Dirk chimed in. “Wally had a fabulous uniform and everything! We found an empty house and lived there until some men in blue uniforms made us leave. Thrilling!”

“Those were the days,” Carl recalled fondly. “Wally used to bring home burgers and fries every day! Delish!”

“Anyhoo, darlings,” Wally went on. “I had this manager who was rather obsessed with making people feel small. It was just awful. She called herself Bunbun. I secretly called her Cow Bitch.”

“She was a terrible one,” Dirk chimed in. “Just dreadful.”

“Does this fuckin’ story have a point?” Candy asked.

I supported the question but not the way it was asked.

“Oh yes, honey pie!” Wally assured her. “You see, I also had this adorable friend at work named Lurba who enjoyed the burgers and fries as well. The little gal was poor as a church mouse, hilarious and painted my nails every Tuesday. The job at the burger place was heaven-sent for her. She needed it badly and was a very hard worker.”

“Painted all of our nails,” Carl reminded Wally. “As a token of our appreciation, we procured many trendy trinkets for the lovely Lurba. I cannot confirm or deny that Dirk may or may not have procured a vehicle for Lurba.”

Dirk grinned shamelessly. “I can confirm it!”

I knew what procure meant. The queens had the stickiest fingers of anyone I knew. At the very least, it seemed as if they used their felonious ways for good.

“Luuuuurved her!” Fred said. “Lurba would put teeny tiny rhinestones on my nails.”

“In the shape of an itty-bitty burger!” Carl squealed. “Brilliant!”

The sky was getting darker and stranger… just like this story.

“Sooooooo,” Wally said with tongue click and a snap of his well-manicured fingers. “Bunbun started making fun of Lurba. Told my darling Lurba that she was stupid and so poor that she had a tumbleweed for a pet. Said that she was trailer trash and that she was surprised that the bank hadn’t repossessed the cardboard box Lurba lived in. Just mean.”

“That Bunbun had no room to talk,” Dirk huffed. “The woman looked like a dirty foot.”

I was so confused and speechless. Candy Vargo appeared to be at a loss for words as well.

“Agreed,” Wally said. “Bunbun used to do this when I wasn’t around, but I found dear Lurba crying her eyes out on a two-for-one fry day in the ladies’ loo. It broke my heart. Bunbun walked in on us and told my little buddy that she was so poor that she couldn’t jump over a nickel to save a dime. I had no clue what that meant… still don’t know what it means, but I knew it was hateful. Then she fired our little Luba, slapped her, took her uniform and tossed her out into the parking lot. That’s when I lost it.”

“Oh my hell,” Candy muttered, getting interested in the story. “Did you kill her? Rip Bunbun’s head off? Shove it up her ass? Throw her into the fryer?”

Wally was horrified. “Of course not. I didn’t want to scare the other workers. I adored all of them, but had a sweet spot for Lurba. I just let Bunbun have it with words.”

“So many words,” Fred said with a thumbs up.

“Like?” I asked. I didn’t want to be invested in the Bunbun and Lurba story since I had kind of a lot going on, but somehow, I was.

“Well, first, I got onto the intercom system so everyone could hear me. I told her that poor people could work their way up, but someone with a face like hers was stuck for life. There’s no fixing butt-assed ugly!” Wally pumped his fists over his head. “Cow Bitch slunk away and never bothered anyone again.”

“Don’t forget you told Cow Bitch that she was so ugly that when she looks in the mirror, her reflection screams and runs away!” Dirk reminded him.

“Oh!” Fred squealed. “You also made Bunbun aware that she was so unfortunate looking that even Hello Kitty said goodbye. The entire joint was cheering.”

Wally continued to pump his fists in victory. I wasn’t sure what the hell was even happening.

“All’s well that ends well,” Wally said, mounting his steed as the other queens followed suit. “We were able to procure a lot of money from a building that stores it, and set our lovely Lurba up with her very own nail salon—Lurba’s Lacquer and Love. We still hit up the salon when we can get back to Cleveland. I just adore a teeny-tiny rhinestone burger!”

I didn’t want to ask, but I had to… “What happened to Bunbun?”

Dirk giggled. Carl grinned. Fred pointed to Wally. Wally threw his head back and laughed. “Seems that Bunbun got arrested by those nice men in blue uniforms for a bank heist. She’s serving ten to twenty in the Big House,” Wally said with a smirk that made me laugh. “Would you like to know the moral of this tale, sugar lips?”

I nodded. It was most likely something that would matter. “Yes, please.”

“Do. Not. Let. ANYONE fuck with the people you love. Ever,” Wally said then blew me a kiss.

“Until we meet again, darlings!” Carl yelled as the queens galloped away a couple hundred feet then disappeared in a rainbow-colored sparkling mist.

Candy Vargo was still staring at the sky. “Fuck,” she muttered.

“What?” I asked.

“Welp, if the Higher Power was pissed that the Four Horsemen were here, the sky would have gone back to normal when they left.”

I looked up. The sky had not gone back to normal. In fact, it looked more threatening. Fuck was correct. “Okay,” I said, doing everything in my power to stay calm. “Let’s go back inside and figure out the rest of the message. I have a Higher Power to visit.”