Chapter 5

CHAPTER FIVE

I explained to our guests what was going on. Cecily was disturbed by the story of the dead who had been in the Light coming back. What she and Abaddon were more disturbed about was the message from Agnes.

“Repeat what Agnes said, please,” Cecily insisted tightly.

I nodded gratefully when Tim handed me his notepad. While I recalled what my dead friend had said, I needed to be sure. Tim was the absolute best with his anal note-taking.

“She said, Fix the rift in the chain, Angel of Mercy. If unattended, evil from the Darkness will descend on the earth and tear it open for good. Death and destruction will rule .”

Cecily turned to Pandora. Her expression was pained but intense. I exchanged a quick look with Gideon, but his focus was on Pandora. His eyes still spit sparks but at least his wings hadn’t emerged. A fight between some of the most powerful people in existence wouldn’t end well. Right now, I was pissed that Cecily had brought Pandora. Nothing good could come of it. I had no intention of asking the Bitch Goddess Cecily to physically help us. All we wanted was information from her visit to the Higher Power’s plane.

“Do you know anything about this?” Cecily asked Pandora. Her voice was calm, but it was steely underneath. She wasn’t messing around.

Pandora had the gall to roll her eyes. I had to give it to her. No one in the room liked the Demon. Honestly, I wasn’t sure anyone in the world liked her. Every Immortal here could likely end her. She didn’t give a damn. Her tone was dripping in sarcasm. “Let’s see… I was stuck inside of you after you turned me into what basically amounted to a mist. Then I went along for the most horrific ride I’ve ever taken. You turned all of my people against me and now I’m on probation and haven’t been back to the Darkness. Not sure how you would surmise that I’m responsible for any of this.”

Cecily signed then nodded curtly. Pandora had made her point. This had nothing to do with her. However, none of this was pertinent to our cause.

“Moving on,” I said in a tone that meant business. “What did the Higher Power look like?”

Cecily made a face. “It was a four-foot-nothing red-headed chain-smoker named Phyllis with a wise-guy vocabulary—New Jersey accent and all. However, that’s not what you’ll see. At least, I don’t think it is.”

She was probably right. The Higher Power looked different to each person who saw It. In a moment of clarity, I realized this conversation was moot. Nothing that applied to Cecily would apply to me other than how to get there. I already knew how to get there—a dream state.

“Shit,” I muttered.

“I have thoughts,” Pandora said.

“Well, that’s fuckin’ frightening,” Candy Vargo announced.

The Keeper of Fate was ignored.

I stared at Pandora. The Demon Goddess stared right back. She had changed but could a leopard ever truly lose their spots? Trusting her was off the table, but I’d hear her out. “And they are?”

She smiled. It was scary. The woman was beautiful but as cold as ice. Gideon growled again and the smile left her lips. “It will cost you,” she said.

The Immortals weren’t big on owing favors, and it was never a good idea to owe anyone anything—especially someone like Pandora.

If she wanted to play games, I would play. Having no clue where to start to solve the problem wasn’t a great place to be. Steve had said I only had days to figure out how to fix the rift. If Pandora was useful, I would pay. If the thoughts were bullshit…

“Fine,” I said flatly as I heard all the Immortals in the room groan. “If you have something worth saying I’ll pay. If you don’t… you’ll pay.”

That gave the Demon pause. Cecily took her hand and held it. The kind gesture made Pandora squirm, but she didn’t pull away. It was beyond clear that Cecily believed in her. Why? I didn’t know, but that wasn’t my problem.

“Fine,” Pandora hissed. “No payment.” She rolled her eyes again. Twice. “I think It is testing us—all of us.”

I squinted at her and said nothing.

She continued. “I think that It wanted to make sure the Goddesses of the Darkness would work in somewhat of a harmony,” she said, then sighed dramatically. “ It is an idiot. However, if that was the plan then it worked to a certain degree.”

Mulling that over, I glanced around the room. Cecily and Abaddon exchanged loaded glances. Charlie was pensive. Tim scribbled notes like his life depended on it. Candy Vargo had shoved her hands into her pockets and was looking up at the ceiling. Gideon was still staring daggers at Pandora. The ghosts were silent.

“Possibly,” I said. “But that makes no sense for our situation.”

Pandora shrugged. “That’s why I decided not to charge. Either It is trying to fix things or Armageddon is coming.”

And on that lovely note, the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse came galloping through the front door—or what used to be the front door. It was kind of shocking. The steeds were breathing hard like they’d just run the Kentucky Derby. The boys were all done up and didn’t appear pleased—fangs out, horns on fire and still in sequin gowns from the wedding. Dimple rode with Dirk. Lura Belle rode with Wally and Jolly Sue rode with Fred. They looked a little worse for the wear. Carl rode alone.

As they dismounted, Cecily, Abaddon and Pandora took a few steps back. Clearly, it was the first time they’d met the harbingers of the end times…

“Hey,” Candy Vargo grunted, pointing at the queens. “I meant what I said about them horses shittin’ in the house. They poop, you eat.”

Dirk waved his hand and the massive horses trotted back outside. There was no smile on my buddy’s face. His expression was grim. The four queens stood shoulder to shoulder. Their gazes roamed the great room. When they landed on Pandora, they stayed.

“Interesting you should mention Armageddon,” Carl said coldly. “You’ve done your very best to bring it on, I’d think you would have stated that with far more joy, Goddess .”

The Horsemen were not silly or fun right now. They were angry. Part of me worried for Pandora’s safety. However, an imbalance in the Immortal world wasn’t something that anyone wanted—even the queens. That would hasten the end times by a hell of a lot.

“I’ve always wanted to meet you,” Dirk told the Goddess with an expression of utter disdain. “It’s quite fascinating to observe how such impressive beauty was given to one so vile.”

Wally laughed. It held no humor whatsoever. Pandora looked like she wanted to be anywhere but here. Why in the hell did I feel bad for her? I was losing my marbles. Yes, I was the Angel of Mercy, but from everything I knew, the woman had shown no mercy to anyone in millions of years.

“You’re repulsive,” Wally said calmly. He didn’t raise his voice. “It’s academically interesting to see you standing there with no shame. I feel filthy in your presence.”

It was strange to hear such horrible words doled out as if he were discussing the weather. It made his words cut faster and deeper. Pandora, whose head had been held high, now stared at the floor.

After a long moment, she raised her chin. “You are not inside me,” she said with no emotion in her voice. “You have no idea what I feel.”

Fred was having none of it. “And do you care what you’ve made hundreds of thousands of others feel?” he demanded through clenched teeth.

I was aware that very little in our world happened without reason, but for the life of me I couldn’t find one good reason for what was happening now. At the rate it was going the next part of the scene would have carnage in it.

Stepping forward, I held up a hand. “This is not the time or the place for Pandora’s trial,” I said. “There’s a tear in the Light. I have to fix it. All I wanted was some information about the Higher Power’s plane. That info isn’t mine to be had.” I ran my hands through my hair in frustration. “I’m just going to wing it. It’s worked so far.”

“‘So far’ means that eventually it won’t,” Cecily said.

Walking over to the wooden table with the dead plants on it, I knocked on it. Hard. The brown crunchy leaves fell from the dead stems and floated to the floor. “Not going to give that any energy,” I told her. “Thank you for coming. I’m sorry we wasted your time.”

“Daisy!” Jennifer called from the top of the stairs. “Are your sparkly magic friends still here?”

Pandora, Cecily and Abaddon appeared confused. Even from Jennifer’s voice it was obvious she was human.

“They are,” I called back. “Is everything okay?”

Gideon was at the bottom of the stairs in less time than it took to blink. He didn’t screw around when it came to our daughter.

“It’s fabu! Our little pooper is brilliant!” Jennifer squealed. “A first just happened and y’all missed it. I’m coming down. Y’all are not gonna believe it!”

My stomach dropped. I was in the middle of what could amount to the end of everything and I was more devastated that I’d missed one of my daughter’s firsts.

Jennifer hustled down the stairs with a babbling, beautiful baby in her arms. The Four Horsemen were not happy with the company and moved to create a drag queen wall, separating Cecily, Abaddon and Pandora from our child.

“Is that a human?” Pandora asked warily. “A human who is aware of the Immortal world?”

Jennifer waved. “Sure am, but don’t worry yourself about it! Name’s Jennifer and I’m real dang good at keeping secrets! And… here’s the kicker, I’ve got so much Botox in my face, I’m invincible. Also had my boobs and ass done. Got a buttload of botulism and filler in me. Cost me the settlements from a couple of my divorces. If I get hit by a magic zinger it just bounces right off.”

Cecily laughed with delight. “Is she serious?”

“Very,” I replied then turned back to the Botoxed gal in question. “What did my baby do?” I took Alana Catherine into my arms and sniffed her little head. I had no idea why babies and puppies smelled so delicious, but I was going to enjoy it for as long as I could.

Jennifer tried to grin, but the filler in her face made it difficult. “She said, papa!”

Gideon looked like he was about to cry with happiness. If I was being honest, I was the tiniest bit jealous that mama wasn’t her first word, but my excitement overrode any petty crap I felt.

“That there baby is as smart as a whip,” Gram said, floating over. “Kinda young to be talkin’ but that ain’t surprising considerin’ who her mama and daddy are!”

Gram had a point. It was way too early for Alana to be talking. She wasn’t even sitting up yet. However, the point had been well made. Her daddy was the Grim Reaper and her mama was the Angel of Mercy slash Death Counselor. Weird was our normal.

“Papa,” Alana Catherine said, pointing her chubby finger across the room.

“He’s right here, baby,” I cooed at her as Gideon stepped into her sightline.

“Papa,” she said again, not looking at Gideon. She wagged her little finger towards where the queens stood.

I laughed. “Umm… those are your well-dressed uncles,” I told her. “Papa is right here.” I handed her to Gideon.

He kissed her nose and cuddled her close. Our daughter wasn’t having any of it. She kept pointing across the room and babbling papa over and over.

Candy Vargo walked over and reached out for the baby. “May I?”

Gideon gave her a stern look that would have made most people run and hide. It didn’t faze Candy. “May you what?”

“Can I have the baby so we can fuckin’ figure out what she’s tryin’ to tell us?” she shot right back.

Everyone winced at her choice of words. Even Candy Vargo grimaced.

“Lemme try that again,” she muttered.

“That’s right,” Gram chastised her. “If the F-bomb is the next thing out of that baby’s mouth, I’m gonna pitch a hissy fit with a tail on it. Once we get this settled, you and me are goin’ into the bathroom and you’re gonna wash that mouth out with soap. Three times! You hear me, girlie?”

“Why three?” Tim asked Gram.

Gram shrugged. “Three has power,” she told him. “Always been my favorite number.”

Tim jotted it down.

“Did you hear me, Candy girl?” Gram demanded.

“Yes, ma’am,” Candy said contritely. “My bad.” She took a deep breath and tried again. “Gideon, can you hand me the baby so that I can freakin’ figure out what she’s wantin’ to say?”

I nodded at Gideon. Candy Vargo would sooner chop off her own head than let something happen to our child. Getting our daughter involved was not anywhere on the agenda, but since there was very little to nothing on the list of how to fix the mess we were in, it kind of didn’t surprise me.

Candy gently took Alana Catherine into her arms and kissed the top of her head. “Alrighty then, little cutie pie, tell Auntie Candy who you want to talk to.”

Alana Catherine pulled on Candy’s hair with one hand and pointed across the room with the other. “Papa,” she squealed with a giggle. “Papa!”

As Candy Vargo walked across the room, the queens parted so she could get through the Immortal wall. I followed close behind with Gideon. Had the ghosts come back? Did my child sense them? Eventually—hopefully a very long time from now —she would take over for me as the Death Counselor. The gift ran in our bloodline. She was already very aware of the dead and adored them.

Her shrieking got louder and louder as she got closer to where Cecily, Abaddon and Pandora stood. I could feel my body tense as it became clear that papa didn’t mean daddy. It meant Pandora. However, no one was as shocked as the woman in question. She stepped back in terror.

“Hmm…” Candy Vargo said, shaking her head in surprise. “This is some weird shi…”

“Candy Vargo,” Gram shouted in warning. “You watch your mouth around my great grandbaby!”

“I meant it’s a weird shiiiituation,” she said, trying to save her ass and failing. “Alana Catherine wants to talk to Pandora.”

“Absolutely not,” Gideon ground out.

I touched his shoulder to calm him. “I don’t like it either, but as I’ve been told repeatedly, never say no to a gift.”

His body was as wound up as a bomb about to go off. I wasn’t too far behind, but maybe the reason why Cecily, Abaddon and Pandora were here was for this very moment. Or… I’d lost the rest of my debatably sane mind.

“I’ll solve this by leaving,” Pandora announced loudly. “I’m not fit to be touched by a child.”

Candy Vargo chuckled. “First time I’ve ever agreed with you, jackass,” she said. “But you ain’t goin’ nowhere until this little gal is satisfied.”

“I beg to differ,” Pandora snapped.

The Keeper of Fate bounced the future Death Counselor in her arms and eyed Pandora. The Demon Goddess squirmed under her gaze. “I’m gonna ask you a few questions, and you’re gonna answer them.”

Pandora sighed dramatically but didn’t backtalk Candy Vargo. No one but Gram got away with backtalking her. The Keeper of Fate was the original badass. She knew it. We knew it, and Pandora definitely knew it.

“Tell me what you think about the Higher Power,” Candy said.

Pandora didn’t miss a beat. “I’d go to It’s funeral, but not to It’s birthday party.”

I laughed. It was impossible not to. The side of the Demon Goddess’ lip quirked up. She was aware she’d made a good one.

“Next,” Candy Vargo said with a grin. “Figure this one out. I’m the fuckin’ piece of string that joins the divide, the delicate place where hope resides. I can start with a spark, a fiery flame to light up the dark. Alone, I stumble, destined to fall. Together, we can conquer all. What in the hell am I?”

“Insane?” Pandora guessed.

I had to bite my lip to keep myself from laughing again. The Demon Goddess was a comedienne on a roll.

“Yep,” Candy agreed. “But that’s well known. Answer the riddle, idiot.”

The word riddle jumped out at me. Steve’s words danced in my mind—'You have only days to discover the riddle and solve it. Start with the ending you desire and work your way back. It’s the only way. Remember nothing is impossible… you just have to believe.’ The riddle was important. I had a bad feeling this entire mission would be filled with them.

“You’re Belief,” Pandora said with annoyance. “And you’re wasting my time.”

Candy Vargo’s eyes narrowed. Pandora stepped back. Alana Catherine blew a raspberry and giggled while pulling on Auntie Candy’s hair. “I never waste time,” she said flatly. “You need to remember that fuc…arkin’ riddle because you need it more than anyone here.”

“That was close,” Gram muttered, giving Candy the eyeball.

Candy spared Gram a glance and a grin. “Sure was, Gram. Hey, Mailman,” she said to Tim. “I’d like it to be noted that I avoided the work fuck!”

“Until now,” I said with a wince. When the day came, I’d have to sit Alana Catherine down and explain the difference between language that we used and language that Candy used. Our language—good. Candy’s language—bad.

“Anyhoo,” Candy said in her outdoor voice, quickly moving on before Gram made her go to the bathroom and start washing her potty mouth out with soap. “Cecily believes in you. Don’t know how many others do since you used to be a gaping hole of death and destruction. You have your work cut out for you. But you ain’t gonna get real far unless you believe in yourself.”

It took everything Pandora had not to roll her eyes. It was fascinating to watch. She shook her head and opened her mouth. No words came out. She tried again and failed.

“Papa!” Alana Catherine said softly, reaching for the Demon Goddess. “Papa.”

Candy Vargo chuckled. “This here little nugget believes in you too. That makes three.”

Pandora’s head cocked to the side. “You need work on your math.”

“My math is just fuc…aling fine, shithead.” Candy stared at Pandora long and hard. Pandora held the Keeper of Fate’s gaze. “I’m the third.”

A small collective gasp filled the room. Pandora’s was the loudest.

“You’re a fool,” she said.

“Been called worse,” Candy admitted. “But I see a spark of something and I ain’t never wrong. Truth hurts. Wear it.”

I was sure Pandora wanted to refute everything Candy Vargo had just said. But she was wise and simply pressed her lips together.

She finally spoke. “What is she?” The Demon Goddess pointed at Alana Catherine.

“A baby,” I said. “She’s a baby.”

She might not give Candy Vargo an eye roll, but she sure gave me one. “I can see that,” she snapped. “That’s not what I meant. Is she Immortal?”

“She is,” Gideon answered coolly. He was doing his best not to attack Pandora. My husband was having a tough time of it. “My child will eventually become the Death Counselor. And let me be clear, if you ever harm even one single hair on her head, I will destroy you. Your demise will take decades and be filled with more pain and agony than your tiny little mind could imagine.”

Pandora looked at him with dead eyes. “I’d deserve no less. You have nothing to fear, Reaper. I will not harm the child. Ever.”

Gideon nodded. It was jerky and filled with fury, but he didn’t physically go at her. I considered it a win.

“PAPA!” Alana Catherine yelled, reaching for the Goddess of the Darkness.

“The child has spoken,” Candy said. “She wants you to hold her.”

I swallowed hard then swallowed again. It sounded like a gulp. I supposed it was. This was not in any scenario I’d ever imagined.

But here we were…

I wasn’t sure I wanted to be at this party, but there was no way I was leaving.