Chapter 2

CHAPTER TWO

Gideon and I were commanded to take a quick break to change clothes for the reception. The queens, with naughty expressions on their faces, insisted they needed an hour to set up the finale of the extravaganza. Heather and Missy took Alana Catherine for a diaper change and stroller ride. Candy Vargo mentioned the banging part of the vows again and only stopped pontificating about it when Gram threatened to cancel her birth certificate. Everyone else tried to hide their grins and pretend they had no clue what was going on.

They failed and were fooling no one.

We were fooling no one as we casually walked back into the house then raced up the stairs to our bedroom like horny teenagers.

“We’ve got an hour,” Gideon said, tearing his tux off and tossing it aside. He made quick work of my gown before throwing me onto the bed. “Let’s not waste a second of it.”

“Deal,” I said, as he fell onto the bed next to me. I climbed on top of him, straddling my man and smiling so hard my face hurt.

Stuff was about to get sweaty, sexy and good. We were both a hundred thousand percent committed. The odds were excellent for an orgasmic time.

“Holy hell,” Gideon said with an exhausted laugh as he pulled me into a hug and kissed the top of my head.

My hair was no longer in a lovely upswept do. It was wild—as wild as the sex we’d had for the past hour. Our bed looked like a tornado had hit it, and I’d been kind of worried our friends and family might hear us. Whatever. I’d ceased to care about that after the first earthquake-inducing orgasm.

“This might sound insane, but I think married sex beats single sex.” I traced his full lips with my finger.

“I’m inclined to agree,” he said with the grin of a very satiated man. “But maybe we should go another round to make sure.”

I rolled over and checked my watch. “Can’t. We’ll be late to our own reception. You think four times wasn’t enough?”

He raised a brow and gave me a look . All he had to do was rake me over with his gorgeous eyes, and I was ready to go. Orgasms with my husband were beyond awesome. Like Lays Potato Chips… one, or four in my case, was never enough.

“A hundred times wouldn’t be enough,” he informed me in a voice so sexy, I considered taking him up on his offer.

“A hundred times in a row might kill us,” I pointed out with a giggle.

“Not a problem. We’re Immortal.” His smile was positively feral.

I was soooo tempted, but we had an eternity to make love. And we would take full advantage of that lovely fact.

“Fine point. Well made,” I said, reluctantly slipping out of his embrace and grabbing the dress the queens had provided for the reception. “However, we have an elegaaanza extravagaaaanza,” I elongated the words, mimicking the queens for dramatic effect, “to go to, and I want to dance with my husband and daughter. Plus, I’m pretty sure if we’re late, Candy Vargo will come up here and drag us to the party naked.”

“There’s a visual that just killed my libido,” he said with a groan as he put his tux back on.

“I’m good like that,” I told him, stepping into the amazing Prada wedges that went perfectly with the Marchesa gown the boys had chosen. While sequins weren’t normally my thing, the gown was to die for—the intricate threadwork woven in with teal sequins and floral applique was delicate and exquisite. The dress shimmered when I moved. It felt alive and magical on my body. In my wedding gown, I’d felt like a princess. In my party dress, I felt like a freaking queen. Quickly twisting my hair back up, I reapplied the lipstick that had been kissed off and was ready to rumble.

“I have a stunning wife,” Gideon said, admiring me.

“And I have a sexy badass husband,” I told him.

He kissed me sweetly and cupped my chin in his hand. “You happy?”

I sighed happily. I finally had everything I’d ever dreamed of and more than I could’ve ever imagined. I had great friends who always had my back, sisters and brothers who I cherished, my gram, my child, and the most delicious, handsome hunk of a husband that I loved more than life itself.

Our eyes met, and I told him with all sincerity, “More than I’ve ever thought possible.”

He smiled as he wrapped his arms around me and kissed me again. The warmth of his embrace, and the tenderness in his lips as they moved against mine nearly brought me to tears. I’d never felt so beautiful or wanted.

“I plan to make your happiness my only mission for the rest of our lives,” he whispered against my lips.

“You don’t even have to try to succeed at that,” I said, giving him a final kiss. As much as I was enjoying the moment, we had a lifetime of them coming, and our guests, who had taken time out of their lives to celebrate us, were waiting downstairs. “You ready to party with the crazies?”

“I am,” he replied, picking me up as if I weighed no more than a feather before whisking me down the stairs to the party.

It was time to get to the reception before the reception came to us.

“Let the festivities begin!” Wally shouted as Carl clapped his hands and produced a karaoke machine.

My hope for a party without a version of Islands in the Stream sung in the key of X by Carl and Dirk was dashed. But I didn’t care. It wouldn’t be an extravaganza without karaoke sung by some tone-deaf drag queens—at least that’s what Wally had said.

Food and drink had been placed on long, elaborately decorated, flower-covered tables. Tim had cooked up a storm. There were hot dishes in all varieties—even vegetarian for me. It smelled rank, but he was so proud of himself that everyone partook. Mirror balls dropped from the tree branches and the queens had removed all the chairs from the ceremony and placed them at the large round tables that had magically appeared. A temporary dance floor had been centrally located, perfect for shaking your groove thing. The dead had already started, and parts were flying off them as they flapped their arms...or what was left of their arms in some of their cases.

I shook my head at the sight.

Watching three hundred ghosts do the Chicken Dance was something I’d never in my life thought I’d see. It got even weirder when Candy Vargo started clucking and pretending to lay an egg out of her butt. At least, she was having fun. She hadn’t even noticed that about a hundred specters had flown away in horror.

Glittering pink and champagne-colored balloons floated in the air much to the delight of the jubilant guests—especially our baby. Alana Catherine squealed with joy every time one floated by her. I’d never been hugged and kissed so much in my life. I held my daughter in my arms, and my husband stood at our side. It was every kind of wonderful.

Until it wasn’t...

“What the fuck is that?” Candy Vargo shouted, pointing to the sky.

Three blindingly bright lights were headed our way. They bounced through the air clumsily and crashed into each other multiple times.

“Aliens?” Carl squawked.

“I think UFOs,” Dirk squealed.

Tim immediately pulled out his notebook. He glanced up at the incoming lights then spoke. “Doesn’t look like any UFO I’ve seen,” he said. “But a total of 12,618 sightings have been recorded from 1948 until 1969. I’m quite sure the recent numbers are much higher.”

“How in the fuck is that helping?” Candy demanded, tossing her toothpicks in the air, then waving her hands and arming herself like she was ready to go into battle.

“I don’t know,” Tim said frantically. “My go-to instinct in times of danger is reciting facts. And speaking of… did you know that thousands of Americans have taken out insurance against aliens?”

Heather rolled her eyes, her multitude of tattoos doing a war dance along her skin as she prepared for the incoming fight. “Not helping. Everyone, get in a line. If we have to, we’ll destroy it. However, we need to figure out if they come in peace before we blow them up.”

No, no, no, I thought. Not on my freaking wedding day! I’d be damned if some extraterrestrial from outer space was going to ruin my special day.

“Excellent thinking,” Charlie said as his eyes went icy blue and his badass showed. “Rafe, Prue and Abby, get June, Amelia, Missy, Jennifer and Alana Catherine into the house. Gideon, drop a ward around it once they’re inside.”

Things were getting serious. Shit, shit, shit.

“On it,” Gideon said, ushering the humans and our child to safety.

The lights were still zig-zagging toward us, getting bigger by the second. “Ghosts,” I shouted, my hands sparking like they were about to detonate. “I want you to hide. We don’t know the intentions of the umm… aliens… or, whatever they are. Until we do, disappear. NOW.”

In a gust of wind, the dead vanished from sight. I shook my head. Was I ever going to get a day of freaking peace? It certainly didn’t seem like it.

“Ward has been dropped,” Gideon said as he joined the line of defense.

I glanced over at him. “This is either going to turn out to be a great story or a shitshow. Thoughts?”

“I’m going with great story until further notice,” he replied, watching the incoming lights warily. “However, if it becomes a shitshow, I’m ready.”

I nodded and adjusted my expectations. “Me too.”

And then something amazing happened.

Something unbelievable.

Something I didn’t think was possible.

However, nothing was impossible… one just had to believe.

I squinted as the dots of light grew closer. From a distance, they had looked like balls of fire. At closer inspection… they didn’t look like balls at all.

They were shaped like bodies. A surge of joy jolted through me when I recognized our incoming aliens as the ghostly bodies of three old women wearing conservative Chanel suits and sensible pumps.

“Well, I have fuckin’ never,” Candy Vargo shouted, tossing her sword to the ground and running toward the incoming aliens.

Tim joined her waving like a madman as the gals came in for a crash landing.

“Am I seeing what I think I’m seeing?” Heather asked with a laugh. Her magical tattoos were no longer dancing menacingly over her skin. Instead, they were waltzing blissfully up and down her arms.

“Umm… yes,” I said, already crying. “Gideon, drop the ward. Tell everyone to come back out. We have some late guests.”

Lura Belle, Jolly Sue and Dimple were definitely dead, but they looked pretty darn good for getting torn apart and sucked into a vortex of deadly Purgatory magic.

“Hello, all you fly-bitten moldwarps,” Lura Belle said with a silly smile on her normally pursed cat-butt lips. “What did we miss while we were indisposed?”

“A fuckin’ wedding,” Candy said.

“Unacceptable,” Jolly Sue grumbled. “We’ve only been gone a few days, and you boil-brained, goatish canker-blossoms had a wedding without us?”

“Oh my,” Dimple fretted. “It’s a very haggard, fat-kidneyed hugger-mugger thing to not include us!”

I agreed. I walked over to the Nephilim and hugged each one of them. Parts of their bodies went right through mine. Still, I was able to feel them, and they could feel me. “Welcome back. Can you stay a while?”

“I have no clue,” Dimple admitted. “However, we’re here now. I insist the wedding be redone. It’s rude not to.”

I turned and looked at Gideon. He simply shrugged. “I’d marry you a thousand times over. I’m in.”

“Candy? Can you pull that crap you said out of your butt again?” I asked.

“I just pulled an imaginary chicken egg out of my ass,” she reminded me. “Of course, I can yank a few F-bombs out and remarry you fuckers.”

I snorted. It was unavoidable. “Alrighty then. Let’s get married.”

“Hang on,” Lura Belle said, looking up at the sky and growing increasingly uncomfortable. “We have a message.”

“From who?” I asked, feeling a little wonky but unsure why.

“The Higher Power,” she said.

Now I knew why I felt wonky. Not much good came via the Higher Power.

“The message?” I held my breath, waiting for the answer.

“They’re coming back,” Lura Belle relayed. “The balance has shifted and must be repaired. If not… it will be a problem.”

I had so many questions, but I would deal with one at a time. “Who is coming back?”

“I don’t know,” Lura Belle admitted.

“Can you define problem?” I pressed, knowing it was probably futile.

Again, she didn’t know.

We all stood in silence and mulled over the new wrinkle that could unravel our lives… again. Catching a break and going on vacation was looking less likely.

“Holy motherfuckin’ shitballs,” Candy Vargo shouted. “What the actual fuck?”

I whipped around in the direction of Candy’s voice and gasped. What the actual fuck was correct.

On my front porch, transparent shoulder to transparent shoulder, stood some very familiar people to me. My gut clenched and my skin turned clammy. The group was expressionless and appeared scared.

Slowly, I walked toward the porch. Gideon fell in step to my right. Charlie to my left. Candy Vargo, Tim, Tory and Heather backed up Charlie. Gabe, Rafe, Prue and Abby stayed on Gideon’s side. Zander and Catriona were behind me and the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse brought up the rear.

I wasn’t terrified of what I saw, but I was worried… worried for the ones on my porch. Something had gone wrong, terribly wrong.

“Steve?” I called out.

My dead husband barely acknowledged me. It was as if he couldn’t understand. He trembled and faded in and out. Standing beside him was Sam, Sister Catherine, Agnes, Birdie and John. They weren’t supposed to be here. They’d gone into the Light. I’d seen them go into the Light. I’d helped them do it.

But they were back.

Agnes floated forward. She was a shell of who she’d been. The joy and vitality had been stripped from her. Her vocal rhythm was staccato and off. Her words were even worse. “Fix the rift in the chain, Angel of Mercy. If unattended, evil from the Darkness will descend on the earth and tear it open for good. Death and destruction will rule.”

“How?” I asked, hoping for more… a clue, a hint. I didn’t even care if it was cryptic. Hell, I’d do the Chicken Dance and shit out eggs for a cryptic clue right now.

The dead on my porch said nothing. They just stared at me. It was unnerving.

As they began to fade away, Steve stepped forward. For a brief moment, he was back to the wonderful man who I’d spent so many years with. “Daisy,” he whispered brokenly. “You have only days to discover the riddle and solve it. Start with the ending you desire and work your way back. It’s the only way. Remember nothing is impossible… you just have to believe.”

As he shimmered and grew fainter, I spoke up. “Will you be back?”

He smiled. It was filled with sadness. “I will. Though, I’m not really sure why I’m here. Work fast, Daisy. The Light depends on you.”

In a gust of icy wind, the dead on my porch disappeared. I turned and looked at Gideon. His expression was unreadable as he stared back at me. My stress felt as if it was eating me alive. Peeling off my skin wouldn’t even bother me right now.

“Suggestions?” I asked the Immortals who I trusted with my life.

All I got in response was silence until Lura Belle spoke. “Call me crazy, but I’d start with the Higher Power.”

I closed my eyes and wanted to be somewhere else—anywhere else. The best day of my life had taken a seriously messed up turn.

“Bad fuckin’ idea,” Candy Vargo grunted.

“I’d have to agree,” Charlie said tightly.

“You have a better one?” I asked, feeling like I was having an out-of-body experience and watching the scene unfold below.

No one did.

“I’m putting on sweats and tennis shoes,” I announced as I marched up the steps to the porch.

“Because?” Heather asked warily.

“Because my dress is fabulous, and I’m not going to mess it up when I kick the Higher Power’s ass.”

“Ohhhhh shit,” Candy Vargo muttered.

I stopped at the front door, turned around and faced my family and friends. “Who’s with me?”

Gideon stepped forward immediately, followed by the queens and Candy Vargo. Without hesitation, Heather and my other siblings, along with Tory, Charlie, Tim, Zander and Catriona joined the crew.

“What exactly are we going to fuckin’ do?” Candy asked, handing me a toothpick.

I popped it in my mouth and leveled her with a hard gaze. “I have no idea,” I admitted. “But I will tell you this, the Higher Power is gonna rue the day it messed with my wedded bliss.”

My voice sounded sure and strong. The truth was that I was anything but sure and strong. However, I was going to fake it until I made it. It had worked so far. The Higher Power was in for a surprise. A pissed-off bride who happened to be the Angel of Mercy was about to fuck up Its day, the way It had fucked up mine.

I just hoped I would live to the last chapter of my next adventure in one piece. Midlife had turned out to be a ride, both good and bad. I was leaner and meaner due to my job. However, I was still me, and I had plans to live in peace, not pieces.

Anything was possible if I believed. I believed. The Higher Power was about to get a lesson in real faith. If the Higher Power thought it was fun to play life and death games with me, It would lose.

All I wanted was to have the time of my midlife, and that was still my plan. Even if it took me until my last breath to get there.